Susan's Place Transgender Resources

SO. I was at a pub&grill and met this 40 year old TG. She was pretty & nice and I gave her my number to hang out and stuff since I just moved to Houston and didn't know anybody. We chatted all night and got to know any body.

THEN. The screen on my phone broke and I didn't get a new one for about a week. By the time I had it she had left me several very very nasty voice mails. Basically saying how dare I go out in public without having breasts. [this is the very very very nice way of saying it. She was yelling and cussing and saying very rude things]

I didnt know whether to put this in the pms or here but I just am really furious about this. :\

I'm sure this will be edited out. but..  tell her to F off and die.  But be nice about it.

to be honest and I know this isnt really big of me but I said "You sound & look like a linebacker. & your a nasty washedup, hasbeen, |-|0. (don't know if I can say that either). And you look like a g*dd*a*n MALE donkey"

than I apologized, said I feel bad for stooping to her level and said don't text me I dont care to associate with people like YOU.

i feel guilty.

Quote from: BrianaLynne on July 17, 2009, 01:35:13 AM
i feel guilty.

For what? Not having a breast-fetish that you wish to indulge on your own body? :) OK, you were both a bit harsh with one another, but heck, so you have smallish breasts. Lotsa women do and you hadn't asked her for body advice had you? :)

I'd not be too worried about it. You never know what's going to set people off. And I doubt that whatever set her off that it was your "lack" of boobs.

It was cause she thought I was deliberately ignoring her. I would have explained but I felt no need to explain to some one who felt that way about me (without knowing me) and to some one who was so hateful. I felt guilty ( for 4 mins. ) because even though she obviously has issues, I should have took the higher road and not talk to a sister (evil step sister) like that hahaha.

Thank you Nichole.. I was feeling a little self concious after that. And thanks for saying smallish. I literally have a -A chest lol.

How much did the new cell phone cost? I want to combine my phone and mp3 player, but ones like that are like $500 without a new time commitment, and Verizon's already got me for another year.

Quote from: BrianaLynne on July 17, 2009, 01:53:28 AM
Thank you Nichole.. I was feeling a little self concious after that. And thanks for saying smallish. I literally have a -A chest lol.

No problem at all. :) You're welcome, Briana. I have the impression that you may not be taking E and Progesterone yet? If so, you may get more than a -A. :)

Breasts are breasts. They are a good secondary sex characteristic if they show, but they are not the only thing by a long shot.

Like I said, nothing to worry too much about. And I was thinking there may well be something more than just the broken screen and the lack of replies. Something made her go there and it surely wasn't a lack of texting. :)

Breasts are breasts.

Ahhh, so true.  Happy thought that.

Quote from: tekla on July 17, 2009, 02:05:33 AM
Breasts are breasts.

Ahhh, so true.  Happy thought that.

Yes, and I'm sure your girlfriend helps that thought be that much happier, eh? :)

Becca - I have verizon too (pink blackberry curve), I have no idea how much it costs (my boyfriend suprised me with another pink black berry). But when I signed up (I think a 2 year contract) I got started and I got the phone for around 250.

Nichole - Right though? I thought she was insane for a minute, lol. And no I'm not on E or anything else yet. I need to find a good therapist first. Annnd I need to do alot more research.

Some people just have issues. I had that happen with a friend I met here on this forum, (no longer a member) I went to visit her several times and we talked almost every night until one day my world crashed in on me and I was not able to talk with her for a few weeks. When I finally got in touch with her again she was quite nasty and made some very hurtful accusations.

I just told her I was sorry she felt that way and left it at that. But oh how I wanted to rip her a new one. She had no idea what was going on in my life at that moment and the things she said really hurt.

Don't feel bad, Briana.  I once had a FTM tell me that my transition wasn't valid because I didn't struggle enough and to compensate for it I should contribute to the surgeries of others.  I chalked it up to nothing but jealousy, as I suspect this older transwoman is also jealous of you for having you whole life ahead of you.

You never know what is going to set someone off. As someone said insecurity is a key. I  many of us have down days and we can be flat or sometimes firey. But Briana she sounds as if a bad hair day was really happening :laugh:

Just as an aside, a close GG friend got married recently, the grooms best man had been in the UK for a year (I'm in Australia). When he came around to their house just before the wedding she had a real go at him. "You call yourself Mike's best friend! You haven't called him or pm him all year" Vent Vent.

A good first into :laugh:. Mike and best man just killed them selves laughing which made her more upset. She is firey :laugh:. They had to explain that they'd been friends since they were 5yrs old and really didn't need to keep living in each others pocket. I think this is an example of a guy thing and a girl thing.

I reckon I've just managed to make yet another irrelevant Cindy post :angel:

Cindy

Among the community, jealousy can bring the deepest discrimination.

There was an individual who participated in these forums a couple of years ago. She was always friendly to me online, but every time I saw her in person somewhere, she totally snubbed me. I could not understand the split between her online and RL attitudes. I found out that she snubbed all the other trans ladies in this metro area too, when they met in person at the Dyke March. We were all like, What's her problem?

Eventually she wrote me a transphobic e-mail that left me feeling very bad. She scolded me that I cannot pass, I'm too old, and she refuses to be seen having anything to do with me, because she was all high and mighty about how young she is and how well she passes. Umm, frankly, I pass pretty well, and she is no better at it than I am. She had also demonstrated major attitude toward other members of Susan's forums before she removed herself. She seemed a terribly bitter person, and I wonder if she wasn't showing a hostile attitude toward other trans women as a mask for her problems with her own self. We are all definitely better off without such a toxic personality in our midst.

Cami - That's what I wish I would have done. Oh well whats done is done & btw since I said that an apologized I havnt gotten any nasty voicemails or texts!

Mister - Jealousy is realllly ugly. I know it has to do with how she's feeling about herself I guess.. It's just too bad I guess, we could have been friends.

Cindy -I hate bad hair days, ughh! I have bad days too.. I guess I'm just different in the sense I wouldn't blowup some ones phone that I didn't know and say such harsh words. I'm just happy there are nice & supportive people one here.

Zelane - We should all stick together :)

Hypatia -Definately masking her issues! And yes it's like when you get bit by a snake, you gotta suck all the poisen out.

xoxo thanks for your words ladies & gents!

Just got to this party...but in a similar vein to what Mister said, it sounds just like jealousy to me.  Based on your avatar (and your anecdotal retort to her) she was probably seething that you looked so good and she didn't.  Nothing brings out the ugly side of people more than jealousy.

We all get a bit feisty from time to time for various reasons. Some folks more often than others. I'm not a grudge holder and will usually try to patch things up with others when possible. I find that trying to understand others helps me to understand myself and the various moods I go through. Happiness, sorrow, anxiety, depression, frustration. All these feelings can effect how we behave and interact with each other. Sometimes you can defuse it with a bit of humor. Other times it's better to just relax awhile and let them vent. Maybe ask a few questions here and there

Aww. I'm sorry. We do encounter people like that and it's just best to let it go. >.< She's stooping to a very low level

Quote from: BrianaLynne on July 17, 2009, 01:29:34 AM
SO. I was at a pub&grill and met this 40 year old TG. She was pretty & nice and I gave her my number to hang out and stuff since I just moved to Houston and didn't know anybody. We chatted all night and got to know any body.

THEN. The screen on my phone broke and I didn't get a new one for about a week. By the time I had it she had left me several very very nasty voice mails. Basically saying how dare I go out in public without having breasts. [this is the very very very nice way of saying it. She was yelling and cussing and saying very rude things]

I didnt know whether to put this in the pms or here but I just am really furious about this. :\

Sounds like she had pms for sure. I'd be happy to have a friend that had your kind of courage. Screw her. I hate it when people are so nice to your face then say crap when they are at a safe distance. I know a LOT of flat chested females so boobs do not make a woman. They are nice though but not worth cussing someone out over. I'm totally confused over that. She has deeper issues that she needs to work on.

Quote from: finewine on July 18, 2009, 01:07:42 AMBased on your avatar (and your anecdotal retort to her) she was probably seething that you looked so good

That's her in the avatar? I thought that was Paris Hilton!

well it sucks that some people are like that. we see that on the east coast as well. im sorry you had to put up with that girl. true friends are hard to come by

Ive actually had a few TS's go off on me and today a natural female.  The two, TS's were really nice in the beginning, but what they really wanted was to find out things about me, what i do, everything under then sun, then the first one just got really ugly for some reason.  We were talking about  transitioning and  she  became very judgemental and harsh.  Both i believe were jealous and because they had issues with themselves they used me as their step on person.  I dont particularly think im "all that", but some TS's that can not ever become fem can have a tendancy to try to get chummy at first to see if they can gain some kind of knowledge, then when  they cant find answers or you begin to realize whats going on...they blowup on you.  As far as the natural woman, she had a thing for  me as  a male, and i had to tell her i was TG and she  email a very harsh put down.  I hate ppl that cant deal with their own issues and throw them off on innocent  ppl.  I wouldnt  give this person the time to even let it worry  me.

QuoteThe two, TS's were really nice in the beginning, but what they really wanted was to find out things about me, what i do, everything under then sun, then the first one just got really ugly for some reason.

Classic middle school tactic. Girls were always doing this to me. Pretending to be friendly to get ammunition against me. if I didn't already believe it, I'd say yes, you TS women are definitely classic females.  :laugh:

Yeah, that silly catty stuff can be annoying  :P

I've seen a lot of transphobia within the trans community myself. There's always going to be some sort of box as to what makes a person trans (including gender queer people, also). You've got HBS people, and a lot of separatists.

Sorry if that sounds a little off topic.

I have a GG who, 'held a torch' for my male personna. When I explained Cindy to her and invited her around for dinner she has been very supportive. Calls me regularly for a chat to see how I am. And invited me to a Xmas party she had, and carefully and tactfully, told her other guests that I was a new and special lady. They made me very comfortable.

Goes in circles, some people are nice, some aren't.

Cindy

I have no desire to wear fake breasts.  I wear a padded bra when I go out without stuffing.  I don't see that as a need to be oneself.  I would love to have real ones someday though.  DyLen

Quote from: tekla on July 17, 2009, 01:30:33 AM
I'm sure this will be edited out. but..  tell her to F off and die.  But be nice about it.

Amen.

Find out where she lives and show up and give her a lesson in bitch slappin.  I mean, she's a geezer, you won't have any problem messing her up!