Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Well, first off hello everyone.

For me to even be posting here is taking a huge and very hard step for me because I am very nervous about all of this and naturally confused. Like any good intro it needs a little back story.

I was born a male, I am 20yrs old, getting divorced because of an immature wife, and said wife has my life with her, my 5 month old daughter. From about the time I was ~15 I realized I wasn't "normal" or "straight" or what have you. But I am not gay by far. Not even so much Bi as just odd.

So I started doing research to try to see if I was nuts or not. (No pun intended  ;D ) I came across a test, the COGAITI and it seemed pretty legit so I took it and got a result of -70 Androgyne. From what it said I was a mixture of both genders and needed to explore both, but not be confined to just one.

Sounds cool, it's just I have never heard of this before. lol There are a few other things that i think are improtant to say, but not knowing the age range of the boards I don't want to post certain things. I really hope to learn alot here and if someone is bored and would be willing to send me a PM just so I can talk in a private setting and try to figure this out it would be appreciated.

See you on the boards.

Hi John! Welcome to Susans. It is perfectly normal to feel confused. Many of us have been there and some havn't quite left. The COGAITI isn't an official test, and isn't always completely accurate. I would suggest using it as a guideline. However, if you took the test and didn't jump back at the result, that deffinately tells you something. I agree with it on one matter; you should explore both genders. If confusion is persistant, get rid of it ;). What is it that makes you think your odd? Are there aspects of being female you like?

Being androgyne isn't something most people realize exists, but there are plenty of people that way, and quite a few here! Feel free to PM me, or post in the Just For Us forum, as that is only open to members. It's a big family hun, and we always welcome new additions :).

Welcome Welcome Welcome John!!

You have certainly come to the right place hon. We are very friendly here so do not be shy or feel ashamed. We have all been where you are at. You are on a journey. As you post here and read other's posts you will learn more about yourself. Think of the COGAITI test a simply a pointer to help you understand yourself. There are many tests online like the COGAITI test. You may want to take them also since their test strategy emphasises different things to get a better overall sense of what the tests are saying.
But remember, these tests are only a guide. Thay are not definitive!!
Anyway hon, I am so glad that you found Susan's and I know that you will find many new friends here and good advice

HUGS John


Brenda

Hi John, :icon_wave:

Welcome to our little family. Over 2700 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another member. :icon_hug:

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Janet

@Vanessa

On the part about liking aspect of being a female the answer is yes. I have sometimes felt like a girl. Now, what I am about to say may be confusing (remember, i am confused.  ;D )  but sometimes I feel like a lesbian in a mans body. Does that make sense?

I feel odd because where I live in the US (Oklahoma) there aren't alot of people here. At least that I know of. And in the heart of the Bible belt there is alot of stigma about GLBT. But I have made a decision to be me regardless of what people think. Well, eventually at least. Maybe that took some vagueness out of it. lol If not let me know.

I can relate I saw myself as a male lesbian long before I herd of androgynes of let myself question my gender If you wish you may PM me  while I'm no longer confused I still find it confusing sometimes

Hi John welcome to Susan's. I am new here also and i feel the same as you do a bit confused so join the club lol. The best people to help you is admin on this site coz they have been there done it and bought the t-shirt

Hi John and welcome. I took the test 3 times. I was -20 the last time I took it. I was confused too at one time. Yo will sort out things in due time.

Gennee
:)

John , you show mesomeonewho dosen't have confusion issues with this gender world welive in and I have a Toll Road in Northern VIRGINIA TO SELL YA !  Look , I've been out since 1994 , Im nearly 60 and Ive been studying these same issues professionally for the most part of my adult life too ! Guess what , I'm still learning ! Hey you go girl ! Ellen Shaver

Welcome, John.  This a good place for the confused because you'll find lots of company. ;D

It takes a while to puzzle out who and what we are.  Gender is not either/or.  Sexuality is not either/or.  You might have a more difficult road living where you do, but you can walk it if you are strong and have support.  Is there a support group in your area?

Good luck on your journey, and welcome.

- Kate

Thank you to eveyone here that responded for the support in this very confusing time. The nearest support group I know if is about 3 hours away and that is too far at this time for me to reach. I am relieved to find out that there are other male lesbians on here that feel this way. ( Before I got here that was an oxymoron to me. lol Learning already!)

Kinkly, shoot me a PM. I can't PM you for some reason. I think do my post count is still under 15. I would like to talk in private on a few issues.

Also, so i can start posting in the correct section, what does a male lesbian classify as in general? Androgyne, Transgender, or what?

Once again, thanks alot of the support!  ;D

Hey John, fellow male lesbian here. I had a hard time for the longest time trying to define what I was. I always knew that I wasn't gay, but also - from societal ignorance - knew that cross-dressers were gay. I always loved wearing womens clothes, not for sexual reasons alone, I just felt that was what I was meant to wear. It took a very long time for me to start thinking that if I 'had' to be gay to wear womens clothes, then I must somehow be a lesbian stuck in a guys body.
Experientially, that didn't make sense, I knew nothing about transgender identities. I only wish I discovered at your age what I have just recently discovered at 47. I would have had a lot more life, a lot more opportunity to live the life that 'she' wants to live.

Here's to confusion! May it live only a short life from on and clarity in its stead.

D

Hey everyone. I haven't been on in a while due to just life getting in the way. Looking forward to chatting and reading the forums again and continue discovering who I am.

Don't feel like you are alone-there are a great many of us who continue to struggle with confusion and other issues. Life does have a way of getting in the way of things we want to do, places we want to go. I feel we are so fortunate in having this place where we can find words of comfort when we are sad, companionship when we are lonely, or just need a place to find a friend. Even though we are not face to face we are here for you when you need someone to talk to.

Confusion seems to be a road that never ends but we learn from our struggles and we are better for having them-pure gold is tested by the fire and we as people are too. Study all you are able and take small steps toward a goal. Have a game plan to keep you on track. Not knowing what lies ahead is the fastest road to failure.

Randi

Hello. Welcome to the forum. :)

Don't feel alone, I am in the same boat as you. I am still trying to find out who I am aswell. The COGAITI test is a very interesting one isn't it? I took it aswell, hoping to find out who I am, and I scored 320, making me a 'Probable Transsexual'.

I hope you truly find what you are looking for. You seem like a very nice person. If you ever need help, there are many people here, including myself, who are willing to try and help you. :)

Take care, good luck. All the best. :)

Love,
Dizzyy.

Welcome to Susans! This is the perfect place to start your discovery journey since pretty much everyone is represented here in some way shape or form. As you get further along you may want to consider going to a gender therapist. They can ask you the right questions and perhaps help you really identify yourself. I finally went to a therapist myself after about 6 months and got my answer!

i jus took that test n got a score of 480- telling i need to seek help immediately in bold red colors

hey John, fellow androgyne here... have you checked out http://androgyne.0catch.com/ (http://androgyne.0catch.com/) yet?
So Jami, did the results suprise you?