Susan's Place Transgender Resources

This thread is in dire need of some fun!  I think we seriously need to laugh more!  It seems like everyone I know has been down lately.  Our unicorn forest should be a place of solace and joy!

...Unfortunately, I cannot think of something ridiculous enough to start some conversation...so I'll leave it at this...


That crazy giraffe...

... which one the one with the short neck or the pink one?

I'm going to hijack it again.

Limericks.

There was a giraffe from Memphis
Whose neck swayed in time with her pelvis
?

So to get out of her rut
She got her hair cut
and Now she looks just like Elvis!

Quote from: heatherrose on July 31, 2009, 04:25:45 AM
Long Pork is more humane for those of the porcine persuasion.

I volunteer my next-door neighbor, but she's likely to be a bit stringy at her age. Still, we would be doing her dog a favor. And me.

My mistress' ass is nothing like the moon...

Quote from: Kinkly on July 31, 2009, 02:23:41 AM
... which one the one with the short neck or the pink one?

the one with the iPod playing gangster rap.

Quote from: heatherrose on July 31, 2009, 04:25:45 AM

Long Pork is more humane for those of the porcine persuasion.

I prefer the eyeballs myself. It's a raven thing.

Quote from: Nichole on July 31, 2009, 03:08:56 PM
:) O, yes, the eye-balls!! Doncha just love the way they roll around in the dish looking a bit plaintively up atcha while you lower your spoon to scoop one up? Scrumptious!

It's when they're in the mouth that it's the best...the initial bite; the elastic resistance against your teeth as it gradually deforms between the upper and lower molars until eventually - pop!  Out squirts the vitreous humour!  Lovely.

Baked?  No.  Raw!  (My eldest loves fish eyes, although those are cooked)

fish eyes = tapioca

Quote from: finewine on July 31, 2009, 03:38:56 PM
Baked?  No.  Raw!

oh yes, raw is best, but candied is pretty good too. The pickled ones they have in a jar at the raven bar are good, too.

but eyeballs have that real hard little bead inside. Don't swallow that, I hear it makes you see things that aren't there.

nope, I mean the redneck bar where when you lose at armwrestling you have to donate an eyeball to the jar. :icon_blink:


Most places I've seen make you pay extra for the little psychedelic bead inside, otherwise they remove them first and sell them to Californians with funny painted buses named "Furthur".

Quote from: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Credits

  Mønti Pythøn lk den Hølie Grailen

  Røtern nik Akten Di

  Wik

  Alsø wik

  Alsø alsø wik

  Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yer?

  See the løveli lakes

  The wonderful telephøne system

  And mani interesting furry animals

        The Producers would like to thank The Forestry Commission
        Doune Admissions Ltd, Keir and Cowdor Estates, Stirling
        University, and the people of Doune for their help in the
        making of this film.
        The Characters and incidents portrayed and the names used
        are fictitious and any similarity to the names, characters,
        or history of any person is entirely accidental and
        unintentional.
                        Signed RICHARD M. NIXON

  Including the majestic møøse

  A Møøse once bit my sister ...

  No realli!  She was Karving her initials on the møøse
  with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given
  her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and
  star of many Norwegian møvies:  "The Høt Hands of an Oslo
  Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst
  Nordfink"...

        We apologise for the fault in the
        subtitles.  Those responsible have been
        sacked.

  Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...

       We apologise again for the fault in the subtitles.  Those
       responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked
       have been sacked.

Quote from: heatherrose on July 31, 2009, 04:25:45 AM

Long Pork is more humane for those of the porcine persuasion.

Or at least the sweet breads. 

Hannibal - Brain scene (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noupHDxmUTE#lq-lq2-hq)

Well Heather have the lambs quit scream

Sorry Honey, but you did bring up long pork.  Lecter's favorite meat.  :o I did it again.   :icon_blah: :icon_censored: :icon_bunch:

Ok Hijacking it again.

a gratitude to susan's where I have the most beautiful people and sometimes even feel they could be friends. It is an attitude of acceptance and caring even when some vehemently disagree with others. This disagreement is even beautiful because it just shows how much we are regular people but have a common (affliction?, not sure of the right word here)

The idea that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder is one thing but I find beauty in attitude and ideas and sharing both good and bad in our lives.


I am grateful for all of you especially the ones who have gone before me and have made the path a little more worn to ease my own journey.


THANKS to all of you for being the person you are no matter how sure you are of what that is.

Now back to our regularly featured program....

That was a beautiful hijacking, LordKAT!  :icon_flower:


Apparently, giraffes make a bleating noise.  Mmmm...smells like Picard's dead nephew!  (...have I mentioned that I have a warm place by the fire waiting for me?)

thank you Jaime

*blush* and Thank you heather rose

You I find intriguing. A trucker and with style. I'm glad you found someone to share this piece of your life with and I get the feeling Janet feels the same.

HHHHUUUUUMMMMM   Maybe it is the ears or the hair cut but I have to agree with you, Honey.


Amsetri tre. *
Dif-tor heh smusma **

Janet

_{* Your presence honours us
** Live long and prosper}

uh oh now I'm really blushing.

second hijack then.

When I was growing up in the 60's, I learned to love Sherlock Holmes and Spock. I thought then as I do today that reasoning things out is better than emotional debate. The ability to use logic, seemed to me, a way to figure out who I was as well as not get blamed for things I did not do or credit for what I did. Remember this is childhood. As I got older the idea that logic and reason and science could be used to find truth was a big thing for me.

Therefore the avatar of a character I respect.  I still think that if people used logic instead of trained upbringing that they would or should be able to see who we are without letting preconceived notions infect their decisions on how to treat us. By us I mean any who have been through discrimination whether that be race, religion , or or trans issues.

I could go on but I am not the most talented in getting my thoughts into written words. I do hope I have been able to get my basic thought through however.


Janet,

Your pic reminds me of a free spirited woman who knows what she wants but has to be reminded now and then that you are beautiful in your own right. If I am wrong I apologize.  I do love the way you seem to be able to mediate many disagreements on these forums and can see you going far in human relations. (Unfortunately you already have a special someone so I can't have you here.) Bummer. Thanks for all your kind words.

Ooh Ooh caption competition!

QuoteJanet, your pic reminds me of...

...a proctologist enjoying a funky, post-examination finger-scent!

Who's next for a go at the unofficial "caption competition"? :)

finewine avatar caption


funniest looking flea in the WHOLE  circus does amazing stunts.

The better to hear you with....

Seems I've heard that men are insensitive to womans feelings, maybe my ears will help me hear those things.

"The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems."
                                                                                               
                                                                                                            - River, Firefly

Book: "What are we up to, sweetheart?"

River: "Fixing your Bible."

Book: "I, um...(alarmed)...what?"

River: "Bible's broken. Contradictions, false logistics - doesn't make sense." (she's marked up the bible, crossed out passages)

Book: "No, no. You - you can't...

River: "So we'll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God's creation of Eden. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven eleven times, but always comes out one. Noah's ark is a problem."

Book: "Really?"

River: "We'll have to call it early quantum state phenomenon. Only way to fit 5000 species of mammal on the same boat." (rips out page)

                                                                                                                   - Firefly

Quote from: LordKAT on August 01, 2009, 11:25:47 AM
second hijack then.

Second!?

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Seven: two to bend the clock, one to hold the ladder, and four to turn the giraffe.

There's a giraffe involved in that??  :laugh:

a pink giraffe as I recall

Quote from: LordKAT on August 01, 2009, 10:00:54 PM
a pink giraffe as I recall

Any relation to the pink elephant that haunts many rooms?

Best white elephant gift ever? 

A homemade CSI kit...Hamburgler burgled one too many hamburgers.  I made it myself.  >:-)


If an Androgyne falls in a forest, does it make a sound?

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Post Merge: August 04, 2009, 02:25:11 PM

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Whoa!  It's flooding like a mofo here!  We're still dry, though...yay for a hill!  I think the biggest tragedies right now are the libraries...*sigh*  Our main branch and the university's library are flooded.

University of Louisville Flood 08 - 04 - 09 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcIcpqY5a7I#lq-lq2-hq)

Quote from: Jaimey on August 03, 2009, 01:04:29 AM
Whoa!  It's flooding like a mofo here!  We're still dry, though...yay for a hill!  I think the biggest tragedies right now are the libraries...*sigh*  Our main branch and the university's library are flooded.

Sounds like you have a great excuse now for not having your homework done  :D

Jaimey, that really sucks!  It looks like a mess, was that a river that overflowed or what?

Actually, it wasn't the river, which surprised me as well!  It was just flash flooding that the drain system couldn't handle.  We've had three major weather disasters (I guess that's the word) within the past year...a windstorm from hurricane Ike, an ice storm that pretty much shut the city down, and now the flooding.  They said we had about 6.5 inches of rain in an hour this morning.  Yikes!

Also, the bridge shown is on campus and it's where Eastern Parkway crosses Floyd St...it's about 18 blocks from the river.  :)  It's really close to Churchill Downs.  The campus is in an area of town called Old Louisville that extends north into downtown.

Luckily, school hasn't started yet.  :p  We missed a week for the ice storm!  My apartment's dry!  We're on a hill.  :D  Thank goodness!

Quote from: Nichole on August 04, 2009, 04:08:34 PM
You guys make very little noise around here period, Jaimey! :)

I know!!!  Where is everyone?  It's gotten so quiet and serious!

Wow, i'm watching the weather channel and you guys really are under water  :o

They keep showing shots of the area around the school. I keep expecting to see a unicorn  :D

Unicorns under water? Wouldn't that be a seaunicorn?

Unicorns are busy eating pasta in a mushroom Alfredo sauce and hot sausages  :laugh: Just kidding, I hope you are OK Jaimey

Quote from: Virginia Marie on August 05, 2009, 01:53:48 AM
Unicorns are busy eating pasta in a mushroom Alfredo sauce and hot sausages  :laugh: Just kidding, I hope you are OK Jaimey

I'm okay!  We live on a hill.  :)  It's sunny today.


If a unicorn is eating pasta...who made it?  Can they cook?  Where can I find one to cook for me?

This unicorn cooks. But, I'm afraid this unicorn is taken, too.

Quote from: Shades O'Grey on August 05, 2009, 12:25:43 PM
This unicorn cooks. But, I'm afraid this unicorn is taken, too.

Aw, phooey.  *kicks rock* 

"A unicorn once bit my sister."

Unicorn was stoned enough to bite your sister? He forget what it was he had cooked or what?

Quote from: LordKAT on August 05, 2009, 08:20:11 PM
Unicorn was stoned enough to bite your sister? He forget what it was he had cooked or what?

LMAO!  No, it was a play on a Monty Python line.  ;D

Those responsible for the sacking have now been sacked.

I can just see it. New Monty Python movie.
Deals with a classy cooking unicorn who bites fae's sister and gets sacked. by sackers.

Interesting review or is it preview since I haven't seen the movie yet?

I love the Monty Python stuff. If there is to be a new movie, Virginia should def. be one of the Monty Python Players  :laugh:

Definitely and ride a unicorn that goes Ni.

Fishy fishy fishy fish...Where is the fish? And it goes where ever I do go  :laugh:

She turned me into a newt!  ...I got better.  >:-)

Quote from: Virginia Marie on August 06, 2009, 09:13:12 PM
Fishy fishy fishy fish...Where is the fish? And it goes where ever I do go  :laugh:

Fish heads fish heads
Roly poly fish heads
Fish heads fish heads
Eat them up
Yum

But I just lopped off both your arms!

Merely a flesh wound

Quote from: Virginia Marie on August 06, 2009, 11:46:39 PM
But I just lopped off both your arms!

Merely a flesh wound

Man, that reminds me of the old no arms no legs jokes we used to tell back in the day.

 :laugh: I could go for days reminiscing the Monty Python sketches  :laugh:

Quote from: Virginia Marie on August 07, 2009, 02:56:00 PM
:laugh: I could go for days reminiscing the Monty Python sketches  :laugh:

Spam, spam, spam......  :D

in a sing-song voice

[singing] We're knights of the Round Table, we dance whene'er we're able. We do routines and chorus scenes with footwork impec-cable, We dine well here in Camelot, we eat ham and jam and Spam a lot. / We're knights of the Round Table, our shows are for-mi-dable. But many times we're given rhymes that are quite un-sing-able, We're opera mad in Camelot, we sing from the diaphragm a lot. / In war we're tough and able, Quite in-de-fa-ti-gable. Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable / It's a busy life in Camelot
[solo]
I have to push the pram a lot

Run away!!! Run away!!!  Moooooooo - Baaaaahh.... thud

And there was much rejoicing.

Ahhhhh.

Around here we have a favorite song from Spamalot. My youngest is studying theater and planning a career on Broadway (now rehearsing Trojan Women for a summer theater production).

So you're likely to hear:
"In any great adventure,
that you don't want to lose,
victory depends upon the people that you choose.
So, listen, Arthur darling, closely to this news:
We won't succeed on Broadway,
If you don't have any Jews."

But here I am, distinctly unfunny, in the midst of a funny thread.
Just can't stay out of trouble,
S

I think you're funny, Simone!  :laugh:

Quote from: Jaimey on August 09, 2009, 12:49:20 AM
I think you're funny, Simone!  :laugh:

x2. Sometimes you just have to laugh at stuff.

On second thought, let's not go to Camelot, 'tis a silly place. (all nod in agreement and say "ah")  :laugh:

Maybe we can go to camelot and meet that modern guy who sees the day of the eclipse save his life.

to pass you must answer three questions
what is your name?
what is your quest?
what is your favorite colour?

OOh a Monty Kinkly quiz?

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Quote from: Shades O'Grey on August 12, 2009, 09:42:07 AM
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

An African or European Swallow?

I don't know tha--  AAIIIEEEE !!

I wanna be in a band called "Underage C**t Muffins"!

In high school, I was helping a friend of mine write a song called "Chastised Beast Penis."

I'm scared. Invasive endo appointment in less than 24 hours.

:angel: :eusa_pray: :icon_chuckel:

On another note, Have you ever noticed that some folks hijack their own threads? They bring up a subject and so you add your comment. Then suddenly they are going on about something all together different?

Not that I could care, but it is a bit confusing  ???   :P

Quote from: Virginia Marie on September 28, 2009, 12:09:43 AM
On another note, Have you ever noticed that some folks hijack their own threads? They bring up a subject and so you add your comment. Then suddenly they are going on about something all together different?

Not that I could care, but it is a bit confusing  ???   :P

Sounds like me. But I'm just a confused person :laugh:

Cindy

Actually I was referring to some other folks  :laugh:

Quote from: Virginia Marie on September 28, 2009, 04:37:28 AM
Actually I was referring to some other folks  :laugh:

Like me?  :D  Bwahahaha!  >:-)

Hah!!! Guess again......HeHeHe......I'm starting to like this guessing game Bwahahahaha  >:-) >:-) >:-)

Um...me maybe?

definitely not me...

nope
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg24.imageshack.us%2Fimg24%2F409%2Fsmilieninja.gif&hash=6150cad04343d9e268412b5f5de71b0f05be40b6)

Keep guessing  :laugh:

Quote from: Virginia Marie on September 28, 2009, 12:09:43 AM
On another note, Have you ever noticed that some folks hijack their own threads? They bring up a subject and so you add your comment. Then suddenly they are going on about something all together different?

Not that I could care, but it is a bit confusing  ???   :P

It seems to be an androgyne characteristic to become easily distracted, and..... hey, bright shiny things!

I LOVE SHINY!

Shiny things? Gimme Gimme Gimme Gimme Gimme  :laugh:

Sits down to catch her breath a minute  :P

What were we talking about? Oh yeah, the new shoes and ear rings I want  :icon_chick:

threadjacking, what?  :icon_weee:

Remember when Luke Skywalker crashed his X-Wing? Yoda seemed to have a thing for shiny stuff.

Yoda, Androgyne Jedi?

Quote from: Virginia Marie on October 01, 2009, 09:20:58 PM
Remember when Luke Skywalker crashed his X-Wing? Yoda seemed to have a thing for shiny stuff.

Yoda, Androgyne Jedi?

well Yoda doesn't present as any Male/Female I know, maybe everyone on Yoda's home word is Androgyne

I remember watching the original Star Wars for the first time as a youngster.

It was also the first time I'd been in a surround sound theatre with such a huge screen. I was awestruck for days  ;D

Watching the first Star Wars movie as a "youngster":

I didn't leave my seat when it was over. Just stayed and watched it again. It was amazing!

Have you ever noticed that the W and the E are right next to each other on the keyboard?

So then you go to say "How you doin'?" to an online chat friend and just as you hit send button you notice that it says "Hoe you doin'?"

Quote from: Virginia Marie on October 15, 2009, 01:26:04 AM
Have you ever noticed that the W and the E are right next to each other on the keyboard?

So then you go to say "How you doin'?" to an online chat friend and just as you hit send button you notice that it says "Hoe you doin'?"

So there are three potatoes. Which one is the hooker?
























The one with the IDAHO sticker on it :P

Sorry, couldn't resist LOL........

I made many a sheep pun tonight.  I mutton do it again or I'll be punished.

speaking of being distracted by shiny things...have y'all seen this ad for the dj hero game?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lKrGmkeLAM# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lKrGmkeLAM#)

what do you do in the dj game and with only 2 tracks  ??? & the clip was a bit sexist imho

i haven't played the game, so i can't speak to the manner in which it's played...but i would suggest that "sexist" might be the wrong description for what's being portrayed here.

the reason i say that is because there are two characters in the commercial portrayed as female; one of whom is "cogitating", while the other thinks about "sparkly balls".

because the "-ism" in this ad is not as much directed at women generally as it is towards just the one character, i would suggest instead that, if anything, "blonde-ism" is what's at play in this circumstance.

all that said, i did recently make the acquaintance of someone who absolutely epitomizes the ad, which is why "sparkly balls, sparkly balls, i've got sparkly balls" makes me chuckle every time i hear it.

A couple days late, but since hijacking is permissible on this thread and I see we're doing videos now, I guess I'll just plop this here.

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/how_to_find_a_masculine_halloween#id98853 (http://www.theonion.com/content/video/how_to_find_a_masculine_halloween#id98853)

the don't let your kid be girly is highly offencive to me whats so bad about haveing an effeminate son ???
or is this a stupid show that only makes stupid items as all the articals i've seen so far are stupid

It's a parody, Kinkly. It's not to be taken seriously.

Of course it is wrong to try to make an effeminate son masculine. And to me, it's that ridiculous sexist attitude that the video was actually poking fun at. And I definitely know that attitude all too well. I'm sure my own parents would like to have hired that woman as a consultant.

i thought that was very funny 'this is also great for the prancer'. 'Well, vampires are flashy dressers but it is all in aid of seducing a woman'. Very funny and well done.

I thought it was rather humorous also  :laugh:

But I can see were if someone didn't know it was a parody, they might feel offended.
They do make it seem like a real news channel

Alll someone had to do was see that it si from the onion. onion doesn't hide that it is poking fun at anything.

Quote from: LordKAT on November 03, 2009, 02:55:00 PM
Alll someone had to do was see that it si from the onion. onion doesn't hide that it is poking fun at anything.

I'm always astounded when my professors seriously tell us not to use the Onion as a source...it's happened more than once...in fact, in one course last semester, we devoted an entire day to parody because apparently, some people don't know what it is.

PS...I want some cold remedies!  Who's got 'em?

Regarding cold remedies, ever try turning on the furnace. It has been known to get rid of the cold.


Onion style

Quote from: Jaimey on November 03, 2009, 09:32:24 PM
PS...I want some cold remedies!  Who's got 'em?

Here ya go, Jaimey...  :laugh:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0w7Dwc5S_M# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0w7Dwc5S_M#)

Quote from: Jaimey on November 03, 2009, 09:32:24 PM
PS...I want some cold remedies!  Who's got 'em?

Take plenty of vitamin C, and get lots of rest too. You should get better in about a week  :D

Thanks...we'll see how it goes...if only I could just stay in bed and rest!  But I have to pay rent...

pseudoephedrine. Best stuff for it.

Failing that pop some paracetomol, some ibuprofin and use a nasal spray like octravin and you will feel almost ok.

Quote from: Nicky on November 04, 2009, 08:56:57 PM
pseudoephedrine. Best stuff for it.

Failing that pop some paracetomol, some ibuprofin and use a nasal spray like octravin and you will feel almost ok.

I had been taking the ol' pseudophedrine, but I think I perhaps had a mild flu or something.  I feel pretty awesome now, though.  wOOt!  Still sneezing and dealing with the nose stuff, but at least I'm not fatigued and exhausted anymore!

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Post Merge: November 08, 2009, 09:15:14 PM

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Quote from: LordKAT on November 04, 2009, 04:01:49 AM
Regarding cold remedies, ever try turning on the furnace. It has been known to get rid of the cold.


Onion style

...by the way, I loved this answer.  :D

thanks Jaime, humor is sposed to be the best medicine after all.

I forgot what I wanted to hijack this for now.   :-\

Thought of the day:

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Quote from: TQ on November 09, 2009, 02:01:10 AM
Thought of the day:

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Sounds like...good advice. Not that I would.

Quote from: TQ on November 09, 2009, 02:01:10 AM
Thought of the day:

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Also, never take a laxative when you are having a sneezing fit  :D

Quote from: riven_one on November 09, 2009, 10:58:44 AM
Also, never take a laxative when you are having a sneezing fit  :D

...unless you want to have a s**t fit too.  :D

bwahaha!

Is Riven One peeing on the curtains?  >:-)

Oh, Virginia your terrible!!!

Yeah, I know

Even worse than ::) the time I sneezed when wearing a balaclave, you have to take it off sometime!!

This site erkels my ignorance. Lets see, online dictionary.....balaclave.....well how about balaclava, um, ski mask?

That would be one nasty sneeze covered hat.

Ah the three witches of Susan's
Erkle, Smerkle, and Ferkle.

I wish one of them had bought a dictionary.

Then again how can you buy a dictionary on-line if cannot spell?

:laugh:

Cindy

Thank you all. I needed that.

I can spell, just can't bloody well type!!  A bit like the radio ad for help with literacy and numeracy that gives you a phone number to ring. ???

Quote from: justmeinoz on November 29, 2009, 01:30:42 AM
I can spell, just can't bloody well type!!  A bit like the radio ad for help with literacy and numeracy that gives you a phone number to ring. ???

Yea, I loved that ad. I think at the begining of the campaign you could write in, or email for details.
Love it.

I have to admit my spelling is terrible. I have become very dependent on auto corrects. I've now gone out and bought a dictionary. Next I must open it :laugh: :laugh:. Then I need to use it :laugh: :laugh:

Cindy

Quote from: CindyJames on November 29, 2009, 02:02:05 AM
I have to admit my spelling is terrible. I have become very dependent on auto corrects. I've now gone out and bought a dictionary. Next I must open it :laugh: :laugh:. Then I need to use it :laugh: :laugh:

Cindy

Me too!  And I'm majoring in English!  All this automated stuff is making me dumb.  :'(

one more week!!!  then this blasted semester will be over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  WOOHOOO!!!!!!!!!!

You could always prescribe to the Geofry Chaucer style of spelling - just make it up!

I think I am a bit dyslexic. My ability to spell varies from day to day. I have a related thing too where I can't form consistent leter shapes so my handwriting is more than a bit shoddy. Weirdly I spell much better when typing. I think it is to do with word shapes. It is easier for me to see when the word shape looks wrong on the screen, probably because the word shapes are more consistent than when I hand write them.

Sorry, I did not add to the funny  :embarrassed:

Aw...we love you anyway, Nicky!  :-*

Handwriting, especially cursive gives me a lot of freedom in spelling.  :D  As long as the first and last letters are the same, that's all you need.  Just stick some loops in the middle.  :P

I didn't add to the funny either.

My handwriting has gotten so bad that when I refinanced my house there was an actual discussion amongst the loan officers of whether my signature was acceptable, since it resembles a squiggly line  :D

I love me too Jaimey!  "I'm just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of me, I'd be like heaven to touch, I wanna touch me so much........I love me baby...."  :-*

I think signitures are so last century. Plus mine changes all the time, I just can't do it consistently  :( Some times I get told to rewrite it so it looks more like my ID sig - way to go security  ::)

Hey everyone here's a joke (which is funny because it's true!).

What do a pitbull and Sarah Palin have in common?

Dead fish jokes!

Do you ever feel like watching late night television and reading posts don't go together well?

Or maybe it does  :icon_suspicious:

Depends on ones state of sobriety I guess  >:-)

Sobriety, like so many things, is over-rated.

Quote from: LordKAT on December 04, 2009, 05:41:35 AM
Sobriety, like so many things, is over-rated.

Frank Sinatra: I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

Truly, it is a Frank Sinatra world, we only get to live in it.

It's slightly off-key?  :laugh:

Things could be worse.

I understand that in India the Police have been so successful in their anti-drug efforts that addicts have taken to snorting curry powder.

This is very dangerous as if not fatal, you could end up in a korma, or with a crook tikka!!! :police: ;D

My dog doesn't understand why you can eat snow but you can't breathe it  ::)

Thanks Virginia - I had a good laugh at that.

One for you.

I saw a guys T-shirt today it had printed:

There is nothing to fear except fear itself - and spiders


Cindy :laugh:

Quote from: CindyJames on January 02, 2010, 01:12:38 AM
There is nothing to fear except fear itself - and spiders

That's what shoes are for  :D

Quote from: riven_one on January 02, 2010, 02:49:00 PM
That's what shoes are for  :D

They might jump though... EEK!

Speaking of spiders, I just sent a rather poisonous one swimming in the flushable swimming pool 

>:-) Vengeance be mine

Quote from: Virginia Marie on January 08, 2010, 11:11:36 PM
Speaking of spiders, I just sent a rather poisonous one swimming in the flushable swimming pool 

>:-) Vengeance be mine

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider
Who sat down beside her
and Virgina flushed it away!

LOL, we do have a spider problem where I live and they try to sneak in when it gets cold.

But that was the first one I'd seen in awhile.

We get mouses doing that.

Quote from: Pica Pica on January 09, 2010, 06:33:24 AM
We get mouses doing that.

My mom's house has mice.  And ladybugs.  Luckily, our house seems to be critter free (probably because it's so drafty that there's not much difference :P)

I know your mom.

Quote from: tekla on January 09, 2010, 10:48:50 PM
I know your mom.

That would be weird.  :D

But not as weird as some of the dreams I have  :o

I if all always would and them make jump when religious forward through I folks progress

The become need hoops perfect a but then good I'm I'll spankin'

Afraid start my judging ass others may catch fire

My signature needs more lines.

Most of my posts need a lot LESS lines I fear. Brevity is not my strong point.  :embarrassed:

Quote from: justmeinozI guess

Quote from: LordKATmany things

Quote from: riven_onedrink

Quote from: Jaimeyslightly

Quote from: justmeinozdangerous

Quote from: Virginia Mariesnow

Quote from: CindyJamesand

Quote from: CindyJamesthat's

Quote from: Jaimeythough

Quote from: Virginia Mariethe flushable swimming pool

Quote from: Virginia Marieflushed it away

never eat the yella snow?

Quote from: Pica Pica on January 25, 2010, 05:20:35 PM
never eat the yella snow?

Unless you spilled a vodka redbull...
.. That'd make a nice scone actually.

no scone be nice, dry things

I'm settin' up a Vodka Redbull snow cone stand this summer  :laugh:

A toasted scone with toppings sounds rather good this time of year though

...I want a scone.  But I have none.  :'(

I once had a sconce.

Pretty much the same thing.
..sounding-wise..

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Post Merge: January 25, 2010, 08:25:12 PM

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That may be the stupidest thing I've ever said.  What's yours?

Gazing at a shadow upon the wall given by sconce candle light I thought....

My but a buttered scone with berries and tea doth sound delightful

The only thing that women are jealous of men is the ability to write their name in the snow :laugh:

Not sure but hey >:-)

Quote from: Virginia Marie on January 25, 2010, 08:28:22 PM
My but a buttered scone with berries and tea doth sound delightful

but a buttered sno-cone with berries and tea... mmm even better!

Oh, I see, Your looking for a job at my sno cone kiosk cafe

We do need some cute girls around the place

But can you make a groovy smoothie?

Groovy smoothies?  Indubitably!

I serve my smoothies smothered in smooches!

A gravy smoothie ?  smothered in pooches?

Doggie biscuits and gravy?

Delicious because they're made of real dog!

Deep fried sno-cones with a picked sugar glaze - mmmmmmmmmmmm.

Fish flavor Sno Cones, served with gravy, and a side order of bacon - yummy.

No fair!  Everything is better with bacon.  It's the crack of meat.