Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Topic started by: Nero on August 08, 2009, 08:09:05 PM Return to Full Version
Title: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
Post by: Nero on August 08, 2009, 08:09:05 PM
Post by: Nero on August 08, 2009, 08:09:05 PM
hey guys and dolls,
What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
(Concerning actual transition details, not counting family or other social aspects.)
Elaboration encouraged.
Thanks!
What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
(Concerning actual transition details, not counting family or other social aspects.)
Elaboration encouraged.
Thanks!
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
Post by: LordKAT on August 08, 2009, 08:19:15 PM
Post by: LordKAT on August 08, 2009, 08:19:15 PM
I;m still debating on the bottom surgery question. I still have time to do that since I get T in 2 weeks and top surgery in December barring any money issues before then.
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
Post by: Chamillion on August 08, 2009, 08:26:31 PM
Post by: Chamillion on August 08, 2009, 08:26:31 PM
Whether or not to go on hormones. At first I wanted T, then I decided I was comfortable enough the way I was and decided against it, then after a lot of self-reflecting I realized that I needed to go on it. It took over a year for me to make the final decision. I think this also relates to the first option though, whether or not to transition, since I related going on T with actually transitioning
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
Post by: myles on August 08, 2009, 08:35:15 PM
Post by: myles on August 08, 2009, 08:35:15 PM
I think for me it's the bottom surgery. The T and top surgery were less of a concern, after reading as much as I could about both it was easy to make a decision. Bottom surgery is harder, less info out there as far as photos I've seen I like, success stories and so on. There are some but just not as many as I would like.
Myles
Myles
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
Post by: Flan on August 08, 2009, 08:44:13 PM
Post by: Flan on August 08, 2009, 08:44:13 PM
My problem was simply starting. I tried to sweep it under the rug and deny it for too long after I was first diagnosed with "GID", but after that, things got less gloomy.
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
Post by: Arch on August 08, 2009, 10:36:11 PM
Post by: Arch on August 08, 2009, 10:36:11 PM
Quote from: Flan on August 08, 2009, 08:44:13 PM
My problem was simply starting. I tried to sweep it under the rug and deny it for too long after I was first diagnosed with "GID", but after that, things got less gloomy.
I was sort of in the same boat. Came out as transgender about fifteen years before I started my medical transition. And I knew about FTMs for five years before I came out as transgender, but I really couldn't handle that knowledge and spent the five years cross dressing.
Deciding to transition may well be the hardest choice I've ever made in my life, but I saw death as pretty much the only way out. And I didn't want to die. So...here I am.
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
Post by: Ms.Behavin on August 08, 2009, 10:53:17 PM
Post by: Ms.Behavin on August 08, 2009, 10:53:17 PM
Other!!!. Just getting the strength to be me. That took a long time. I always knew what I wanted, but fear stopped me. That was by far the hardest part. Once I started down the path I went skipping and jumping and VA LA here I am.
Beni
Beni
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
Post by: Christo on August 09, 2009, 02:36:47 AM
Post by: Christo on August 09, 2009, 02:36:47 AM
Name & bottom surgery. Chose Chris b/c thats the dude's version of my birth name & I dont wanna take any chances w/bottom surgery. dont need a dick 2 be a dude eitther ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
Post by: Northern Jane on August 09, 2009, 05:30:25 AM
Post by: Northern Jane on August 09, 2009, 05:30:25 AM
The hardest thing for me was surviving until SRS became available.
I started HRT (intermittently and illegally) about age 14 (early 1960's) and lived part of my teens en femme (though it wasn't allowed at home). By 19 I knew I needed to be fully and functionally female to go any farther in life but there was no surgery available (except at ridiculously high cost). By 24 the suicide attempts were VERY serious and I told my doctor I wasn't going to see 25. I wouldn't have either if Dr. Biber hadn't rescued me.
Surviving age 19 to 24 was by far the hardest thing I have ever done and I wouldn't wish that kind of life on my worst enemy!
I started HRT (intermittently and illegally) about age 14 (early 1960's) and lived part of my teens en femme (though it wasn't allowed at home). By 19 I knew I needed to be fully and functionally female to go any farther in life but there was no surgery available (except at ridiculously high cost). By 24 the suicide attempts were VERY serious and I told my doctor I wasn't going to see 25. I wouldn't have either if Dr. Biber hadn't rescued me.
Surviving age 19 to 24 was by far the hardest thing I have ever done and I wouldn't wish that kind of life on my worst enemy!
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
Post by: Miniar on August 09, 2009, 07:42:58 AM
Post by: Miniar on August 09, 2009, 07:42:58 AM
I consider the HRT the hard choice actually, because, when I made the decision to pursue it.
See, the choice to get the T came with other implied choices.. I knew that if I did "this" than "that" would follow.
See, the choice to get the T came with other implied choices.. I knew that if I did "this" than "that" would follow.
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
Post by: K8 on August 09, 2009, 08:41:51 AM
Post by: K8 on August 09, 2009, 08:41:51 AM
I think starting was the hardest part for me. (I did wait a loooong time. ::))
When I finally began coming out to everyone (including myself), I was determined not to do anything I couldn't reverse if I wanted to go back. I didn't view laser and electrolysis as irreversable because plenty of people who present male are clean-shaven. I realized going on hormones would result in irreversible changes, but they would take a while so I could still back out if I felt I needed to. Scheduling GRS was also reversible because I could cancel the appointment.
Of course now, having had a taste of what it is like to live as the real, complete me, there is no way I'm going back, so that's no longer a concern.
- Kate
When I finally began coming out to everyone (including myself), I was determined not to do anything I couldn't reverse if I wanted to go back. I didn't view laser and electrolysis as irreversable because plenty of people who present male are clean-shaven. I realized going on hormones would result in irreversible changes, but they would take a while so I could still back out if I felt I needed to. Scheduling GRS was also reversible because I could cancel the appointment.
Of course now, having had a taste of what it is like to live as the real, complete me, there is no way I'm going back, so that's no longer a concern.
- Kate
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
Post by: LordKAT on August 09, 2009, 09:39:30 AM
Post by: LordKAT on August 09, 2009, 09:39:30 AM
Never considered not transitioning as an option once I knew it was possible. choices in bottom surgery and bad results so far are keeping me questioning and searching.
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
Post by: FairyGirl on August 09, 2009, 01:38:36 PM
Post by: FairyGirl on August 09, 2009, 01:38:36 PM
Quote from: Matilda on August 09, 2009, 01:18:37 PMAside from that, I have never had any doubts about anything really except perhaps when I had to choose my SRS surgeon. I mean let's face it, Dr. Meltzer, Dr. Bowers, Dr. Brassard, Dr. Suporn (and now Dr. McGinn) are the best of the best in MTF SRS. Who wouldn't have doubts selecting just one of them?
I certainly had mine, and which surgeon was the option I chose. Once I began transitioning there became little doubt I was going all the way. Cost wasn't really a deciding factor, but skill, patient reviews, and proximity to my home base were. I've tentatively chosen Dr. McGinn because of those reasons.
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
Post by: sneakersjay on August 09, 2009, 04:05:20 PM
Post by: sneakersjay on August 09, 2009, 04:05:20 PM
Bottom surgery.
I could say the decision to transition, but pretty much once I realized it was an option, it didn't take long to go from no way can I do that to jumping off the cliff with both feet. It just took me longer than most to discover what, exactly, my problem was. Never would have guessed that 'transsexual' was the label I was looking for. Still don't like that word, because it brings up images of what we are NOT.
Jay
I could say the decision to transition, but pretty much once I realized it was an option, it didn't take long to go from no way can I do that to jumping off the cliff with both feet. It just took me longer than most to discover what, exactly, my problem was. Never would have guessed that 'transsexual' was the label I was looking for. Still don't like that word, because it brings up images of what we are NOT.
Jay
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
Post by: lisagurl on August 09, 2009, 05:16:05 PM
Post by: lisagurl on August 09, 2009, 05:16:05 PM
Divorce
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
Post by: pretty pauline on August 09, 2009, 05:55:06 PM
Post by: pretty pauline on August 09, 2009, 05:55:06 PM
whether or not to have the final surgery, my Mother played a big part in my decision, I was very nevious on the approaching surgery, 2 of my 3 brothers supported the family decision for me to take that final step, when I did there was no going back.
2years after that, my 3rd brother finally excepted me as a girl, my painful transition was now complete.
p
2years after that, my 3rd brother finally excepted me as a girl, my painful transition was now complete.
p
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transit
Post by: Janet_Girl on August 09, 2009, 06:11:34 PM
Post by: Janet_Girl on August 09, 2009, 06:11:34 PM
For me, it is the whole surgeon thing. Not having the funds, right now, price is a major factor. But so is appearance, function and depth. There are so many good surgeons out there it is hard to choose.
Making the decision to transition was never a big deal, nether was HRT. Divorce was just part of the deal. She never did understand. My name has been with me for a long time and I could not wait to change it.
I am so ready for SRS that I would be gone if not for the funds.
Janet
Making the decision to transition was never a big deal, nether was HRT. Divorce was just part of the deal. She never did understand. My name has been with me for a long time and I could not wait to change it.
I am so ready for SRS that I would be gone if not for the funds.
Janet
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transit
Post by: Alyssa M. on August 09, 2009, 07:06:57 PM
Post by: Alyssa M. on August 09, 2009, 07:06:57 PM
Decision to transition.
It took me a long time to become convinced that transition was viable, satisfactory, affordable, and something I could handle. Since starting, everything else has been a lot easier.
It took me a long time to become convinced that transition was viable, satisfactory, affordable, and something I could handle. Since starting, everything else has been a lot easier.
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
Post by: cindianna_jones on August 10, 2009, 12:02:02 AM
Post by: cindianna_jones on August 10, 2009, 12:02:02 AM
Family and social obstacles were the ONLY problems I faced. Nothing else held me back to any great degree.
I started with nothing and still managed to pay for child support and afford surgery. I don't know how I did it but the drive was so strong, nothing could stop me.
Cindi
I started with nothing and still managed to pay for child support and afford surgery. I don't know how I did it but the drive was so strong, nothing could stop me.
Cindi
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
Post by: sd on August 10, 2009, 12:56:44 AM
Post by: sd on August 10, 2009, 12:56:44 AM
Quote from: Cindi Jones on August 10, 2009, 12:02:02 AMI think that it will be the same for me.
Family and social obstacles were the ONLY problems I faced. Nothing else held me back to any great degree.
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
Post by: Benjamin on August 10, 2009, 11:55:51 AM
Post by: Benjamin on August 10, 2009, 11:55:51 AM
Legally: Deciding not to change gender markers. Feels terrible because I want it so bad. And I often feel judged by other transsexuals about it. But I'm doing the best I can under the circumstances: My husband is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's Disease, so I can't bring myself to take any legal risks regarding our marriage, finances, insurance benefits, etc. We're hanging on by a thread as it is.
When he passes away, I will change my gender markers.
Choosing a surgeon: Got a lemon surgeon and need to have surgery completely over again. Guess I didn't make the best choice there. :embarrassed: ;) But again, I did my best under the travel and financial obstacles I was up against.
When he passes away, I will change my gender markers.
Choosing a surgeon: Got a lemon surgeon and need to have surgery completely over again. Guess I didn't make the best choice there. :embarrassed: ;) But again, I did my best under the travel and financial obstacles I was up against.
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transit
Post by: Janet_Girl on August 10, 2009, 12:05:22 PM
Post by: Janet_Girl on August 10, 2009, 12:05:22 PM
I feel so sorry for you, Benjamin, But I understand better than most. My Mom was going thru the same thing. By the grace of the gods they took her before it became really bad.
I hope that you have a support system in place for you. A group or at least someone to give you a break now and then. You are a good man to stand by the one you love while this demon takes him you and your family.
Big hugs for a Big guy.
Janet
I hope that you have a support system in place for you. A group or at least someone to give you a break now and then. You are a good man to stand by the one you love while this demon takes him you and your family.
Big hugs for a Big guy.
Janet
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transit
Post by: Benjamin on August 11, 2009, 06:52:18 AM
Post by: Benjamin on August 11, 2009, 06:52:18 AM
Quote from: Janet Lynn on August 10, 2009, 12:05:22 PM
I feel so sorry for you, Benjamin, But I understand better than most. My Mom was going thru the same thing. By the grace of the gods they took her before it became really bad.
I hope that you have a support system in place for you. A group or at least someone to give you a break now and then. You are a good man to stand by the one you love while this demon takes him you and your family.
Big hugs for a Big guy.
Janet
Thank you, Janet. Needed those hugs (and the sincere understanding.) :) My husband is very early on in the process, so I think we have a long road ahead of us.
I'm very sorry you lost your mom this way.
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
Post by: Nero on August 11, 2009, 11:24:17 AM
Post by: Nero on August 11, 2009, 11:24:17 AM
sorry to hear that too, Benjamin. lost my grandmother awhile back. also in the early stages (death was due to something else). it sucks. :(
sucks about how your surgery turned out too. <big nero hug> hang in there.
sucks about how your surgery turned out too. <big nero hug> hang in there.
Title: Re: What was the hardest physical/legal decision you had to make in your transition?
Post by: Benjamin on August 12, 2009, 08:15:53 AM
Post by: Benjamin on August 12, 2009, 08:15:53 AM
Trying not to hijack this thread's topic, so real quick:
Thanks, Nero. (Hugs right back at ya!)
Long story short: After some negotiating, my surgery is being completely redone on Sept. 11 -- at no cost to me. I'm relieved and hoping for the best!
I will miss my husband terribly, and yet, I hope something else takes him long before things get too bad. At this point, his quality of life is OK, over all. He needs extra help with cognitve tasks, and he gets lost while driving too far from home, and sometimes he doesn't know what day it is, but he's still happy and well enough to do (with assistance) the things he loves.
Ben