Susan's Place Transgender Resources

uhh I am feeling so akward about this..

I talked to the woman on the phone and she recognized me as a female, as I am - but:
Once she sees me tomorrow at the interview it will probably be a bit akward.
So I decided to just go fully.. !

I am a bit scared about it (!!!!!!!!! To say the LEAST!).. and there is the part that I need to show ID to actually get in :D lol the picture there is from age 17 or so, not to mention it says m for some reason *rolleyes*

I need make up tips! especially to hide the stubble (which I now have MORE after the laser treatment) and look female and not like a grrrrrrr in girls cloths

HELP

The good thing is that you probably don't have to show your ID until you actually get the job and you have to fill out the I-9 form proving identity and the right to work.
Unfortunately, at that point there may be a bit of awkwardness.
You may have to explain the discrepancy in gender marker and/or name.
The good thing is that at that point they may be deep enough in with you to not make any problems.

For those with an ID already with the correct gender marker but not corrected in Social Security,
things will go smoother, that is until Social Security sends a "no match" letter to your employer.

In any case, interviews are good practice. Knock them dead! Good luck!

First of all, I have no idea what I-9 is, not everyone is from UK/USA.

I do need to show the ID so they let me enter the building O_o which will be akward............ and to the meeting I think..

but I am also worried about actually being with people.. I am not happy with my face, and apparently even with full make up - I seem to have reasons to. @@..

Well, if you were posting something that could very well involve different types of identification or documentation, it'd be best to say where you're from so everyone has an idea of what your obstacles truly are.

Israel! I don't think the ID is my obstacle though.. rather than the look

Oops! I took IL to mean Illinois, not Israel!

Confidence. You're not trying to fake anything, just being you.

So this is a real job? (Not entry level?) Great!

Thanks :)

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Post Merge: August 17, 2009, 12:40:09 PM

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I decided to cancel it..
No matter how much make up I put on, I still look like a guy @@..

I feel like a mistake that shouldn't have been born at all.

Bullsh1t!  :o  What on earth did you cancel for hun?
I'd guess the worst that could have happened was some small embarrassment and failure to get the job.
But you MIGHT have got it ....... by simply not going, you guaranteed to fail.

And from what I've seen of your pictures, you are in fact already a very pretty girl so walk in with confidence and behave as if you don't expect your......slight difference.....to be a problem.

- At least give THEM the chance to reject you - don't reject yourself in advance!   

My photos always look better than reality..
Even so, not all are good

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi667.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv36%2FgrrUserUnavailable%2FPicture183.jpg&hash=aa7dbe6e812440501684b99242d77acc51a31656)

Even with full make up you'd still see a guy..

I am not that strong to live like that, with this job it will take about 5-6 years to get enough money for surgeries at best.

I don't know why I bother and what I am doing every day in my life..
20 years passed and I didn't start living at this rate I will not start being happy until after 30..

I don't know what to do.. crying won't get things fixed.. but suffering for 10 years is something that I am not strong enough for doing.

I think you have a perfectly fine base.  Maybe part your hair on the side, smooth away some frizzies with a cream, add some eyeliner and mascara, lip gloss.  If you need to cover your facial hair, before I had laser I used Max Factor's Panstik makeup.  It really covered it well and I felt more confident.

I understand the feeling of wanting to withdraw and hide because your confidence is low.  But it's even worse realizing all of the things you are missing out on because you are afraid.  Your fear is holding you back, and from a potential new job!  It's definitely time to come out of your shell.  You need to live your life!  I'm sure once you got in the interview you'd have felt much more comfortable.  You're a woman of course, and you'll be seen for that when you're relaxed. :)

"Myself" ..... what on earth are you talking about?
- If I could kill you and steal your face, I would! ...... you should see what I'm trying to live with!!!
You have beautiful eyes and lips, very feminine even in their bare state.  Your forehead/hairline is good ...... the few features of your face that are a little masculine are not overly so - I've seen many natal females where the same features are pronounced in a much more masculine way.
I do not doubt that any competent make-up artist could turn you into a very pretty girl indeed with little effort.
You say that even with make-up you can't make THAT face work?  ??? - you must be doing something very wrong luv, so post us a pic of full make-up so we can maybe tell you what it is.

Quote from: MaidenI understand the feeling of wanting to withdraw and hide because your confidence is low.  But it's even worse realizing all of the things you are missing out on because you are afraid.  Your fear is holding you back, and from a potential new job!  It's definitely time to come out of your shell.  You need to live your life!  I'm sure once you got in the interview you'd have felt much more comfortable.  You're a woman of course, and you'll be seen for that when you're relaxed.

Exactly...... Attitude is EVERYTHING

Attitude is important, but it's NOT everything.  You can have all the attitude you want, it don't give you no skills.

QuoteAttitude is important, but it's NOT everything.  You can have all the attitude you want, it don't give you no skills.

Sorry Tekla, I don't quite understand how your observation  relates to the overall theme of the topic?
Aside from its relevance to the topic, IMO, you can have all the skills but without the right attitude it doesn't mean anything.

.....when I was about 40, Mensa scored my IQ at 157 which put me into the top quarter of their membership and I hadn't slept for almost 40 hours prior to the test ...... I was a LOT brighter when I was a youngster, believe me .........yet I have no qualifications at all, not even basic education grades, no trade....nothing! ....... because I had a Bad Attitude   ;) 

A week into my HRT and going F/T I went and got a job, I just explained to the employeer what was going on and why I was now Natalie. I didn't look perfect, but I did my best.

It was very difficult going into the interview and I was very scared. A lot of people told me that maybe I should stop being F/T (since it has only been a week or two) and wait until I got the job and was there for a while, and then started transitioning to full time. It made sense, but who am I kidding -- when do I make sense? So, I said screw that I'm not going backwards to make someone else feel more comfortable.

I went to the interview, I held my breath, and wished for the best expecting the worst.

And, I got the job. Name tag with Natalie written all over it. All smiles.

It very heard, and it was hard to not let my fears take over. I had no laser at them. HRT for maybe two weeks, I started F/T the day before I started HRT. It was no easy task, but I'm glad I did it.

Now, I'm not saying everyone should or needs to do it my way -- everyone's different. I was a bit of a punk back then (and I still am) and jumping that fast can be difficult. I probably put myself through a lot more scrutiny than I would have if I waited for the HRT kick in, did my laser, and maybe even knew my co-workers and were comfortable around them. It might have been easier not working in retail either.

My job -- cashier at 7-Eleven. Up front and in the public eye. I'd serve hundreds of customers, some good and some very mean. There were five bars near us, and all of the drunks came to us for their after-bar snacks. Fun times.

The bar right beside our store, actually had a bet going to figure out if I was female or male. There was money involved. The bet go so big and so huge, that they started having people ask and even harass my co-workers, asking which gender I was. They'd also bug me, but I always gave the same answer: Female!

Apparently, the bar holding the bet decided I was female and the ones betting I was male lost their money. In the end, I guess standing up and putting up with that much stuff I gained respect from my co-workers, peers, and even people in the neighbourhood. I wasn't looking for that, although, I was just being myself. It was weird that people started telling me how cool I was to be who I was.

Shrugs. I just wanted to be myself, that's all, and I didn't wanna be someone else to make someone else happier and more comfortable. And, I guess, I realized that most people in this world aren't themselves; most people are too busy trying to impress everyone else by being someone else they're not. They're not very happy, actually... and usually drunk next door making bets to pass the time.

I guess what I'm trying to say with my story is that you should do what's right for you. Don't let your fears dictate what you do in life. And, certainly, don't be someone you're not to make someone else feel better. Be yourself. It's the hardest thing you can do, but also the most rewarding.

I'm also a punk, so that's how I roll. LOL

--natalie

I'm sorry dear but I'm a little annoyed with you *wags finger*

How does not having a job help anything. I've read a lot of your thoughts, and I know your'e a bright girl. So, what the heck? You need to have a means to an end, so what if it wasn't that great paying, it would have been better than nothing? I have a friend who couldn't find a decent paying job, so she got 3 crappy ones and paid for a lot more ffs than you need in 18 months. She is my freaking inspiration. I love you, and want the best for you, and believe me I know it hurts. Nevertheless, I'm sorry but it's time to "put on your big girl panties and deal with it".

The next time you get a job interview, and I'm certain you will, please post afterword about how you were brave and did what you had to do to get through it. I know you can do it, and we are all crossing our fingers for ya.

I went to the job interview, it was a mass interview with about 30 people total all in one room.

It was a bit akward at times.. definitely not smooth and perfect.

I tried anyways even after what I wrote yesterday.

I didn't pass, reason not stated of course.

My hair's not as curly as yours, but it is pretty wavy.  You could try experimenting with various ways of making it look less bushy.  I grab about half of what's visible on either side of my head, and pull it back in a clip.  The rest is allowed to do its own thing.  My avatar pic is that style. 
If you want to go straighter on the hair, try some mousse and either blow dry and brush while it's wet, or use a styling iron.  Slow and steady on the iron, let the heat work into the hair. 

Makeup to hide stubble-- go for a liquid base, and set it with a powder on top.  Make sure to blend it really well or else it can end up looking like you're wearing too much makeup. 

The pic you've posted is a good starting point.  If you need some real life help with your makeup, go to a department store counter or something.  They might be willing to give you some samples (and advice), show you how to get adequate foundation coverage, etc. 

Myself, you have a very good base to work with. nice hair and eyes, great lips. hang in there. it'll work out hon.

Quote from: Myself on August 17, 2009, 01:40:20 PM
I don't know why I bother and what I am doing every day in my life..
20 years passed and I didn't start living at this rate I will not start being happy until after 30..

As Dear Abby always likes to say ... And how old will you be in 10 years if you don't do anything?  As someone who waited until I was in my 30's to start transition, I can tell you that if you don't do it now you'll regret it later.  I understand that it is sometimes terrifying, and certainly frustratingly slow.  But wouldn't you rather look back 10 years from now and see it all behind you, rather than having it all to go through still?

I'm sorry the interview didn't go well.  Try not to take it too personally.  Those group interview things really suck, and IMO, unless the job involves standing out in a crowd, they are a pretty useless way to find the best candidates.  I'm proud of you for having the courage to go for it, despite your fears.

And I agree with what others have said.  You really do have a good base to work with.  It will all come together in time.  Don't worry.

unless the job involves standing out in a crowd

I think that's why they do them, either to stand out, or find out who really, really wants it.  Being shy is not a requirement for many jobs, so you have to be cutthroat about it.

Myself - I'm proud of you for going.   

It's a shame that you didn't get it, but at least you gave yourself a chance.

It IS a hard road that we travel, but you HAVE to travel it. 
The only way out of the fire is to walk through it and I'm so very glad that you managed to overcome your fears and and doubts and go.  Well done hun.

You HAVE to believe in yourself - otherwise how can you ever reasonably ask anyone else to?

As I have told others, going to a makeover with a good artist who does not mind explaining what they are doing will work wonders for your confidence.  It is usually not too expensive, and I know some GGs that you make look homely.  You have lips to die for, and your eyebrows are nice and full, just begging to be trimmed in a feminine style.  Learn your colors.  Find makeup and good concealer, and don't look back.

Congratulations on doing the interview.  Even though you did not get the job, that was quite a hurdle you passed.  The next one will be easier.  Hang in there, hon.

Kristi

Myself - You look gorgeous girl! And frankly the camera lies. I hate it totally. I really do, you tend to look better IRL than on camera IMHO. At least thats what I've found out from my experiences.

That is awesome that you went to the interview, I'm glad.

Excuse my ignorance because I'm new here but isn't there some way to get F on your driver's license nowadays if you have a doctor's note (going thru HRT) ?

I think you look fine, give it some time.