Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I really hope this doesn't start arguments or something. This isn't my intention. But this haunts me all the time and I'm kind of lost on it..

I've been Christian since I was 11. Since then, I've always believed in God and tried to be a good Christian. Fast forward til now and I still believe in God and I still want to be a good Christian. But lately I've been wondering if God even cares at all about me anymore. I feel like an outcast (not from society but from God) ever since I admitted I was trans. I have this feeling that God has discarded me because of it. I've been trying to force myself back to living as Female (tomboy), Agendered, Androgynous, ect. but it never works. Whenever I do that, it feels like I'm putting a costume on and just covering who I am. And then sometimes I wonder "If I'm really male...then why didn't God save me the trouble and just make me physically male too?" And then it continues to strike up more thoughts like "If that's the case then maybe I'm not even male and this is just a phase..." and so on. I'm ranting...I'm sorry. But in the end I just feel disconnected from God and I feel that it's because of my gender. Any thoughts or opinions? I guess this is just to get it off my chest. Did I make a topic like this before? Because I can't remember...and I'm sorry if I did in the past

I am also Christian. I always try to keep in mind that translation of the bible is often misinterpreted or is taken far out of context of the situation and time of the story. So when I am told it is a sin to be what I am, or that I am dammed, I attempt to take it with a grain of salt. But I cannot deny who I am.
I also believe that god puts us down specific paths to teach us and train us so that we can become the person we are supposed to be. Our experiences sculpt us into specific people. If being trans helps make me who I am supposed to be in gods eyes then so be it. Perhaps being this way makes me a tool to carry his will or help someone else.

I'm not much on the god deal, but when I look out into the world, I see a lot of stuff that seems more important to the whole - war, starvation, cruelty - for god to worry about.  Gender, and clothing seem rather low on the list.

Quote from: tekla on September 08, 2009, 07:41:41 AM
I'm not much on the god deal, but when I look out into the world, I see a lot of stuff that seems more important to the whole - war, starvation, cruelty - for god to worry about.  Gender, and clothing seem rather low on the list.

I think of it more in a cause and effect sort of of way. Circumstances mold people. Perhaps a person to help cure one of those issues. It doesn't necessarily have to be gender related. It doesn't have to be connected with believing in god either if someone chooses to look at it that way.
I am trying to keep it in context of James comments and I don't think gender identity should conflict with ones religious views. You'll just end up depressed usually.

James,
  At the risk of getting slammed by those who do not believe in Christ, my view of your transgender problem is this:
  The word of God says to love the Lord with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind and all your strength and to love your neighbor as yourself.
  In other words, keep the Lord first in your life and allow him to handle everything else. The word of God says that the Lord said your Father knows what you have need of before you ask.
  This is just my opinion but I think sometimes people make a god out of the issues that are constantly on their mind before the Lord. Not willingly, but just without knowing they are doing such.
  The same Lord that parted the Red Sea is capable of giving you a peace in your mind and spirit if you keep your focus on him and not on the trans issue. In other words, keep the Lord first and let him sort out the rest.
  I know that is easier said than done but it is scriptural and something even us straight people should do with our problems.
  The original gospel was to give a hope of eternal life with God through faith in the sacrifice of Christ. Since then man has used that gospel to either abuse the grace of God or to make the way so strict that nobody can make it in, depending on which end of the balance their beliefs are stemming from.
  May God bless.

Are you sure it's "your" god you're not right with? and not the image of god as painted by other, louder, more bigoted, christians?

Quote from: Miniar on September 08, 2009, 10:45:31 AM
Are you sure it's "your" god you're not right with? and not the image of god as painted by other, louder, more bigoted, christians?

I've learned to disregard what the loud and obnoxious Christians say. I may be Christian, but the majority of other Christians have a screw loose (pretty much the ones that live in my town). But not all Christians are like that.

What did it for me was our landlords who are that kind of annoying Christians that no one can stand had the nerve to tell my mom that "It's bad your 'daughter' dresses Goth". My mom told me this. And we both had a good laugh

I can't say I have a specific answer - other than the obvious ocnsideration of trying to separate what God things from what God's followers thing he thinks.

But I can say that in my own experience, the more I tried to conform, the more cold and ritualistic my relationship with him got.

I can't say I'm "close" to him now (frankly, for other reasons, I'm not trying to be) but at least the relationship we have is a more honest one.

James, you have a lot of valid questions.  I've asked myself the same things over and over, I keep praying "God, just make me a girl, don't make me go through this."  But then, God doesn't work like that.  God himself doesn't put these things upon us, he isn't the type of person who sits up on his throne and makes us go through hard things to test us.  God doesn't make bad things happen, bad things happen because the first man and woman screwed up.  The difference between us and the first humans, however, is we have the saving grace of Christ. 

Lets look at it like this.  Something happened that caused us to become trans, whether medically, emotionally, who knows, science is still looking at us.  We were born that way or we came into it.  There we have the problem: We don't feel right in our birth gender.  God doesn't fault you for that at all, and he definitely doesn't fault you for wanting to correct it.  As long as we have faith, he'll make things work out for the better.

I've been through a ->-bleeped-<-storm this summer with anxiety, panic, depression, and finally the realization that I'm not a man, but a woman.  Through it all, however, I kept praying, asking for guidance.  I had fallen out of church, following God, it was prayer when I needed something, I was a Sunday christian.  But then I started to feel him there again, and I know, because he is God, everything will come out right on the other side.  God is going to use me whatever I decide to do to change myself, because what matters to him is what's inside. 

If you're feeling God discarded you, get rid of that notion.  He didn't discard the israelites back then, and that was before christ died for us.  If you're feeling that God discarded you, that's satan talking.  He wants you to focus on the negative so that you can't focus on the positive, you can't hear God. 

Something that may help you, it helps me a lot, let God take control.  If you start feeling like you've been discarded, just say "Hey, God, I can't shake these feelings, can you do it for me?"  It's truly liberating because hey, he does it, he's happy to.  And then after that, you can start listening for him, and he'll tell you what he has planned for you, and that you've not been discarded.

Hope that helps, and I hope I didn't ramble too much, haha, I just typed what I felt.

Quote from: Key on September 09, 2009, 12:57:44 AM
James, you have a lot of valid questions.  I've asked myself the same things over and over, I keep praying "God, just make me a girl, don't make me go through this."  But then, God doesn't work like that.  God himself doesn't put these things upon us, he isn't the type of person who sits up on his throne and makes us go through hard things to test us.  God doesn't make bad things happen, bad things happen because the first man and woman screwed up.  The difference between us and the first humans, however, is we have the saving grace of Christ. 

Lets look at it like this.  Something happened that caused us to become trans, whether medically, emotionally, who knows, science is still looking at us.  We were born that way or we came into it.  There we have the problem: We don't feel right in our birth gender.  God doesn't fault you for that at all, and he definitely doesn't fault you for wanting to correct it.  As long as we have faith, he'll make things work out for the better.

I've been through a ->-bleeped-<-storm this summer with anxiety, panic, depression, and finally the realization that I'm not a man, but a woman.  Through it all, however, I kept praying, asking for guidance.  I had fallen out of church, following God, it was prayer when I needed something, I was a Sunday christian.  But then I started to feel him there again, and I know, because he is God, everything will come out right on the other side.  God is going to use me whatever I decide to do to change myself, because what matters to him is what's inside. 

If you're feeling God discarded you, get rid of that notion.  He didn't discard the israelites back then, and that was before christ died for us.  If you're feeling that God discarded you, that's satan talking.  He wants you to focus on the negative so that you can't focus on the positive, you can't hear God. 

Something that may help you, it helps me a lot, let God take control.  If you start feeling like you've been discarded, just say "Hey, God, I can't shake these feelings, can you do it for me?"  It's truly liberating because hey, he does it, he's happy to.  And then after that, you can start listening for him, and he'll tell you what he has planned for you, and that you've not been discarded.

Hope that helps, and I hope I didn't ramble too much, haha, I just typed what I felt.

It helped, Key. I liked this post...thank you ^____^

Psalm 139 (English) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEv2r40X354#)

Quote from: James O.O on September 10, 2009, 10:23:15 PM
It helped, Key. I liked this post...thank you ^____^

I'm glad ^^

Great Post Key

And James, I'm having similar issues. I came away from a guys' bible study just last week and tried to kill myself. My logic was "God would rather have me dead than be a woman". I'm still wrestling with this though and everyone around me except for a few choice friends don't want me to even see a counselor with tg experience. My wife is the worst perpetrator which makes it even harder.

More details at my blog: http://jericamtf.blogspot.com (http://jericamtf.blogspot.com)

Quote from: Jerica on September 11, 2009, 02:20:41 PM
Great Post Key

And James, I'm having similar issues. I came away from a guys' bible study just last week and tried to kill myself. My logic was "God would rather have me dead than be a woman". I'm still wrestling with this though and everyone around me except for a few choice friends don't want me to even see a counselor with tg experience. My wife is the worst perpetrator which makes it even harder.

More details at my blog: http://jericamtf.blogspot.com (http://jericamtf.blogspot.com)

You need to look for what God is saying though, not your friends, not your wife, not a bible study, not a councilor.  If the bible study is causing problems, leave it.

Quote from: Kristi on September 10, 2009, 10:32:19 PM
Psalm 139 (English) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEv2r40X354#)

Beautiful... :'(

Quote from: Kristi on September 10, 2009, 10:32:19 PM
Psalm 139 (English)

I always found the book of psalms to be very poetic in its spirituality.

When I looked around my house and found the place I built, where I raised three beautiful children, a place once filled with family and laughter, empty; I asked myself why?  Why did god make me this way? Why did my family leave me?

The answer that came to me was "to teach me something".

Since then I've learned a lot.  I never knew discrimination.  I do now.  I never knew prejudice.  I do now.  I never knew what it was like to really struggle.  I do now.

I see a homeless person and I "see" him or her.  I never saw them before.  I see a lot of things I never saw before and I feel a real part of this world.  Being trans and admitting it has taught me a lot.

I used to live in a box and I didn't even know it.  Now I live in the world and I realize how unimportant my personal struggles really are.

Julie

Quote from: Sergei on September 08, 2009, 05:39:00 AM
I really hope this doesn't start arguments or something. This isn't my intention. But this haunts me all the time and I'm kind of lost on it..

I've been Christian since I was 11. Since then, I've always believed in God and tried to be a good Christian. Fast forward til now and I still believe in God and I still want to be a good Christian. But lately I've been wondering if God even cares at all about me anymore. I feel like an outcast (not from society but from God) ever since I admitted I was trans. I have this feeling that God has discarded me because of it. I've been trying to force myself back to living as Female (tomboy), Agendered, Androgynous, ect. but it never works. Whenever I do that, it feels like I'm putting a costume on and just covering who I am. And then sometimes I wonder "If I'm really male...then why didn't God save me the trouble and just make me physically male too?" And then it continues to strike up more thoughts like "If that's the case then maybe I'm not even male and this is just a phase..." and so on. I'm ranting...I'm sorry. But in the end I just feel disconnected from God and I feel that it's because of my gender. Any thoughts or opinions? I guess this is just to get it off my chest. Did I make a topic like this before? Because I can't remember...and I'm sorry if I did in the past

Perhaps God gave you the life you have so that you might have a struggle that strengthens you. Perhaps to strengthen you so that you might help others, or help the world.

And I don't think anywhere in the bible speaks against ->-bleeped-<-. There is some pro-eunick stuff, but thats more MtF...
But something I think is also important to pay attention to is that nowhere in the Bible does it define a man for his body. So regardless of you physical attributes you are a man if you know your a man.

Quote from: Robin. on December 17, 2009, 12:22:07 AM
Perhaps God gave you the life you have so that you might have a struggle that strengthens you. Perhaps to strengthen you so that you might help others, or help the world.

And I don't think anywhere in the bible speaks against ->-bleeped-<-. There is some pro-eunick stuff, but thats more MtF...
But something I think is also important to pay attention to is that nowhere in the Bible does it define a man for his body. So regardless of you physical attributes you are a man if you know your a man.

This post caught my attention. Thank you, Robin.

I've read everyone's posts on this topic too

Quote from: Sergei on December 19, 2009, 04:18:35 AM
This post caught my attention. Thank you, Robin.

I've read everyone's posts on this topic too

Your welcome!  :)

I'm not actually a christian... but I do alot of thinking about christianity in general because I find argueing one side or the other to be fun. But I don't believe that believing is wrong. So when I see that a bit of logic I stumbled upon in my thinkings might help someone, I let it help.

Hi, sorry but I am a bit late to this post. I am a Christian and even though I am transsexual I consider myself evangelical in the sense that it means to preach the gospel of Christ. Anyway my post is in regard to the struggle I have had with my gender and being a Christian. I came to the conclusion that God has said there is neither male or female in the Kingdom of God just children of God. Gender has never been an issue with God. The Ethiopian Eunuch is a case in point in the book of Acts. Here we have a eunuch who without the effects of Testosterone would be feminised in form. I know its mtf and not ftm but in the Bible these are underlying principles. So what does Peter do when the eunuch asks to be baptised there and then. Well Peter baptises them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. He didn't say go away you are unacceptable because of your condition. His Heart was right and that's what counts with God. A genuine heart that seeks God.

Feelings are not the best way to judge what God thinks of us. Feelings change as much as the wind blows or the seasons change. Believe what God has said and what Jesus has done on the cross. He has paid the price of our sin on the cross to set us free to follow him. To share our experiences of God as we encounter Him by faith in our daily walk with him. Jesus said, "no one can pluck us out of the Fathers hand" He keeps us there even when we feel we are not. Paul wrote in Romans Chapter 8 that not even death it self can separate us from the love of God that is given to us in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I once heard someone say that if we rely on feelings and our faith looks to feelings we will feel abandoned, cursed, less that what we are in Christ. If however we take our feelings and look to faith then we have confidence in what God has done. It says in the Bible, "That God so loved the world that he sent his one and only son that whosoever believes in him will not perish but have eternal life." Now put your name where it says whosoever. Let your feelings look to faith.

I still have my doubts now and then but I doubt my doubts and believe my beliefs.

Blessings of the new year and may God shine his light upon you.

Stardust     

Thank you, stardust :) Your message was really inspiring. Lately I've been not feeling right with God again, but whenever I read inspiring messages like that, it gets me to thinking. And then, I feel confident again. Thank you again ^___^

At the risk of just being a little blog-whore, I was just thinking about some of these things.  Rather than do a lengthy cut and paste and fix all the links, I'll just link to the original post (http://lightupmy.wordpress.com/2010/01/01/challenge-me/).

The thing to remember is that God doesn't hate you, bad things happen to people for all kinds of reasons.  I don't think any of us can say why we're trans, but I think it seems pretty plain that God's not in the habit of making us happy cisgender people.  Maybe he just really likes diversity. 

I think the important thing to realize is that if you love God and love your neighbor, you're doing the things you need to be doing. 

Every once in a while I feel the same way: what am I doing, can this possibly be right?  We do what we can with what we have, and if we mess up, then hopefully God will have mercy on us.  We're already banking on that fact, aren't we?  Why should he be merciful about one thing and completely non-understanding and non-accepting about another? 

I used to have a lot of trouble with the Old Testament laws, but the thing is, those laws are intended for Jews living in Israel.  That's why today people eat shrimp and wear cotton/poly blended clothing.  The laws and rules of the Old Testament weren't designed to make us feel bad, they were designed to sanctify the Jews from the people around them.  The early church decided that gentile Christians didn't need to follow every letter of the law, only the spirit:

Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, mind, soul and strength.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like unto it: you shall love your neighbor as yourself.  On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. 

I hope you find the peace you're looking for. 

what wonderful replies.  :) it  really true that you cant trust your feelings of not being "right with god". of all the rules and laws the ones that god is most concerned with are love your neighbor and love god. we have a basic idea of how to love one another but what does it mean to love god... what is he looking for.

galatians 3
romans 3,4 and 5.

;)

love, beth

Jessica, I'd add "Love your enemies" and "Love one another as I have loved you."

Beth, those are good references. I'd add 1 Cor. 13, specifically the part about putting away childish things.

Many people want rules, as though they are living under their parent's roof all their life. Jesus made his disciples take responsibility for their own lives, rather than replace their parent's law with God's law. I'm grown up enough to know that living abundantly (John 10:10) means living in the correct gender, and I'm grown up enough to know that failing to to that is what makes me wrong with God.

One other thing: God did not afflict me with being trans. God did not single me out to have particular suffering. Nor is it some special blessing in disguise. God gave me a life, and it's a pretty good one, just one that I have to work a bit harder than some others to live out fully. But I never deserved life in the first place. Who am I to complain that my life isn't quite as shiny as the next girl's?

Quote from: Alyssa M. on January 06, 2010, 01:15:58 AM
Jessica, I'd add "Love your enemies" and "Love one another as I have loved you."

I wouldn't quibble with that.  It was, after all, the point of the parable of the good Samaritan when Jesus was asked "Who is my neighbor?" 

I'm so glad I found this thread :) I've had a good feeling from the start that this was what God wants for me, especially when I think to the amount of times that Jesus has said he offers life in all its fullness, and the need for us to change and become more Christ-like, be prepared to offer sacrifices, endure suffering when it comes, etc.

I had my first run-in with a more traditionalist Christian today. I've told a couple of people about this now - the first was with a woman who gave me the great advice to just pray that God will take me where He wants me, and nowhere else. This guy though, accused me of leaving Jesus and following Satan, saying how man and woman were made to be in a relationship - can't remember all of it, but I knew that wasn't God speaking. Oh yes, and my personal favourite - which I've heard since being bi and wanting a girlfriend - "You just need a steady relationship with a man." Yeah, whatever mate, you believe what you like. I know what God's telling me; if you don't think that's Him that's up to you.

God may not change, but times do, and the bible reflects that. Like the vision Peter had about eating these animals that were forbidden to Jews. Why people in this day and age still cling to the archaic laws of Leviticus (well, okay, some of them are still valid), I'll never know.

I think Julie Mari and Robin hit the nail right on the head. All the other post were excellent as well but The afore mentioned really echo what I feel.

God allowed me to go through this so that I could learn compassion, tolerance and patience. I used to just wish that I could make this all go away, find that magic pill that would just take away any gender confusion and leave me a normal person. But looking at my life now, I am thankful to have been created the way I am.

The struggle truly has given me strength. It reminds me of the butterfly. If it didn't have to fight to get out of it's cocoon then it would not gain the strength to spread it's wings and fly.

Keep the faith, brother. I'm praying for you.

Quote from: The Original Cami on February 24, 2010, 03:54:46 PM
I am thankful to have been created the way I am.

Me too.

For all the problems I may have had, they have led me to what I am today.

Problems are part of the building blocks of our lives. If we're smart we use then to construct our future.

I would also like to add that if you believe in a God then logically you should presumably also believe that that God provided us the means of salvation, in this case the medical science that allows us to live the lives that we need to.

I personally would have a great diffculty believing in a sadistic God who created both a problem and it's potential medical solution but then forbade people to access that solution. I would always prefer to believe in a loving saviour than a twisted a tormentor.

This is getting to be a habit, but I have to agree completely with rejennyrated.

The notion, in Christian culture, of arbitory prohibitions decreed by a god are nonsense and possibly hypocrtical.

Hey folks, sorry to interrupt but I've just been reading through the start of 1 Corinthians, and there's this awesome verse that really struck me - I'm sharing it here in the hope it makes us all feel better about our situation :)

QuoteHe (God) chose what the world looks down on and despises, and thinks is nothing, in order to destroy what the world thinks is important.

~ 1 Corinthians 1:28, Good News Bible

The bits before make comforting reading, too.

That's a good verse, Nemo

As of late, I'm still feeling not right with God, but maybe through prayer (which I haven't done at all lately) and time, maybe God will somehow show me that He's alright with the way I am

If you ever need some one to pray/talk with PM me. You don't have to go it alone.

I will probably take you up on that offer, Cami. It would be nice to talk with someone during this

If you believe the Bible, then you are made in the image and likeness of god.  If that's so, then you too are perfect.  Stop thinking and start doing.  Self-doubt is the devils greatest weapon.

God intends to make us in His image - therefore perfect - but because the world we're born into is anything but, that leaves plenty of scope for things to go wrong. Things like Downs Syndrome, Asperger's, etc. (I think I saw this argument on here somewhere, actually), not to mention the whole "God intended us to be one gender yet we're born as another" problem we have.

Try weighing up the pros and cons of transition vs staying as-is, and see what you come up with. I've found the benefits of change just keep piling up, therefore proving to me that God is the one who wants to take me through this. The Devil's good at instilling fear, self-loathing etc. which would stop you going through with it, or wondering if God still loves you for it. Just remember that God loves everyone, no matter what, that should help :)

Contrary to tekla's theological debauchery, I am glad that, while perfection is always a goal, being a Christian does not mean that we are now on trial.  It means we are free to be ourselves, knowing that we will fail sometimes and that forgiveness has already been granted by Christ.   It means trusting that Christ was perfect for us, so we do not have to be.  It means loving Christ and wanting to do better.  It means forgiving ourselves and each other in the name of Christ.  It means we do not have to try to convince God to love us, warts and all.  God already showed that love in the ultimate way on the cross.  It means we have the Holy Spirit to begin changing us into the image of Christ.  It means we can realize the words of Hebrews 4:16.
"Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

Peace,
Kristi

I am not one to post much  but...... I am happy to be trans because it give me the ability to see both sides of the gender thing. God did me a favor, and it has its ups and downs, while allowing me to see more than point of living in His world. Could anything be better than understanding how others think and react to different situations. Thanks to God my life is much fuller.

Quote from: Kvall on February 28, 2010, 03:56:27 PM
Does disability exist in a perfect world? How about 'alternative' neurobiology? I think you should be careful when you oversimplify like that. Deaf culture is an example of why it's not so simple; many do not wish to hear. Better than a world where diversity does not exist, to me, would be one where diversity does not have to be a "disability" because all the people around you still lift you up and include you in society.

Since everything happens because of God's will, then all of these and many others are part of that perfection.

Because it may not seem perfect in our eyes, doesn't mean it isn't.

In a way, it's like the old question, why does God let bad things happen to good people?

I do understand too what u r going thru. The guilt I have felt for most of my life has been this related. Only when I would push it aside for days/weeks/months/ and once even a year, made the guilt lighter. Only recently I have excepted who I am and trusting Gods Grace in my life. I have been a Christian most of my life and been involved in church as well as my own singing ministry.
So that area has been tuff, but I thank God so much cause he loves us for who we are....
We have to hang in there and trust His Grace............Christy E

Quote from: Kvall on February 28, 2010, 03:56:27 PM
Does disability exist in a perfect world? How about 'alternative' neurobiology? I think you should be careful when you oversimplify like that. Deaf culture is an example of why it's not so simple; many do not wish to hear. Better than a world where diversity does not exist, to me, would be one where diversity does not have to be a "disability" because all the people around you still lift you up and include you in society.

Oh, I agree. But I'm not just referring to disability in things going wrong, I just meant that as an example of being born with a "condition" of some sort, whatever that may be. We could spend ages discussing whether or not God intended for any of this to happen, but I do know He likes to use different experiences to shape us. What Terry said is a prime example of that, and it's something I'm already finding out :)

Quote from: tekla on February 28, 2010, 03:17:58 AM
Self-doubt is the devils greatest weapon.

Very true