Community Conversation => Transitioning => Real-Life Experience => Topic started by: juliekins on September 14, 2009, 11:56:03 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Here's a Funny Story- Could you prove you were ever anything but female?
Post by: juliekins on September 14, 2009, 11:56:03 PM
Post by: juliekins on September 14, 2009, 11:56:03 PM
Here's another funny story:
I had to go to the bank last week to get old bank statements for my court appearance. (see THAT story in the post-op living section). I didn't think much about the fact that the name on that account from 2007 doesn't now match the one that's on the account in 2009.
I happened to go in wearing my usual casual skirt, top and sandals. I had already called ahead and spoke to the bank dude on the phone so that the papers were ready in advance. When I got to the bank I saw a 30 something semi dweeby guy sitting there ready to go home. Thankfully, we still had a few minutes before closing. I introduced myself to him and was invited to sit down. Here's how the conversation went:
Bank Dude :" Okay, Julie I've got the statements ready for you, but I'll just need to see an id."
Julie: "Sure, I would be happy to, here." I handed him my id while he looked up the account online.
Bank Dude: (spoken with a perplexed look on his face). "It appears that I can only give you the 2008-2009 statements. The older ones were in your husbands name."
Julie: (realizing I had to come clean in order to get the papers) "Well, there was a name change." I smiled and shrugged my shoulders.
Bank Dude: (was expressionless for about 3 seconds then kind of winced and rubbed his eyes and shook his head like he couldn't believe it) " Oh, sure okay that's fine". He sat there for just a moment then picked up the phone to call for more backup from the customer service department. He apologized to me for the delay while he was on hold.
BD: " Can maybe you recognize anyone else here in the branch? How about that banker over there?", he asked me. "He came from your branch and maybe might know you."
Julie: I smiled and said, "I don't think he'll recognize me now!"
While he was still on hold with customer service, trying to prove that I was in fact female but with a male past, we started to make small talk.
BD: " So did you do everything here?"
Julie: "No, I use a few of your bank branches."
BD: "No, I mean like your, um surgeries?" He apologized again for the hold up, but explained that it was just a precaution to protect customer accounts."Besides, you're, um, a very female person."
At this point, I didn't know if he was professionally curious or looking for a good surgeon himself! He seemed very respectful, so I went on to tell him that I had some facial surgery in LA and my 'other type' of surgery in Montreal.
He hung up the phone without ever having spoken to customer service, smiled and handed me the papers I was looking for.
BD: "I don't want to make you wait any longer, and you seem like a nice lady. Have a nice day."
I thanked him, and realized that there are a lot of good people out there who are not put off by meeting a real live trans person in public. So for those of you either on the fence about transitioning, it can really happen. Just be careful, you may not be able to prove that you were ever born anything but female!
I had to go to the bank last week to get old bank statements for my court appearance. (see THAT story in the post-op living section). I didn't think much about the fact that the name on that account from 2007 doesn't now match the one that's on the account in 2009.
I happened to go in wearing my usual casual skirt, top and sandals. I had already called ahead and spoke to the bank dude on the phone so that the papers were ready in advance. When I got to the bank I saw a 30 something semi dweeby guy sitting there ready to go home. Thankfully, we still had a few minutes before closing. I introduced myself to him and was invited to sit down. Here's how the conversation went:
Bank Dude :" Okay, Julie I've got the statements ready for you, but I'll just need to see an id."
Julie: "Sure, I would be happy to, here." I handed him my id while he looked up the account online.
Bank Dude: (spoken with a perplexed look on his face). "It appears that I can only give you the 2008-2009 statements. The older ones were in your husbands name."
Julie: (realizing I had to come clean in order to get the papers) "Well, there was a name change." I smiled and shrugged my shoulders.
Bank Dude: (was expressionless for about 3 seconds then kind of winced and rubbed his eyes and shook his head like he couldn't believe it) " Oh, sure okay that's fine". He sat there for just a moment then picked up the phone to call for more backup from the customer service department. He apologized to me for the delay while he was on hold.
BD: " Can maybe you recognize anyone else here in the branch? How about that banker over there?", he asked me. "He came from your branch and maybe might know you."
Julie: I smiled and said, "I don't think he'll recognize me now!"
While he was still on hold with customer service, trying to prove that I was in fact female but with a male past, we started to make small talk.
BD: " So did you do everything here?"
Julie: "No, I use a few of your bank branches."
BD: "No, I mean like your, um surgeries?" He apologized again for the hold up, but explained that it was just a precaution to protect customer accounts."Besides, you're, um, a very female person."
At this point, I didn't know if he was professionally curious or looking for a good surgeon himself! He seemed very respectful, so I went on to tell him that I had some facial surgery in LA and my 'other type' of surgery in Montreal.
He hung up the phone without ever having spoken to customer service, smiled and handed me the papers I was looking for.
BD: "I don't want to make you wait any longer, and you seem like a nice lady. Have a nice day."
I thanked him, and realized that there are a lot of good people out there who are not put off by meeting a real live trans person in public. So for those of you either on the fence about transitioning, it can really happen. Just be careful, you may not be able to prove that you were ever born anything but female!
Title: Re: Could you prove you were ever anything but female? (for MTFr's)
Post by: Mister on September 15, 2009, 01:50:56 AM
Post by: Mister on September 15, 2009, 01:50:56 AM
Situations like this can easily be dealt with by bringing along a copy of your name change.
Title: Re: Could you prove you were ever anything but female? (for MTFr's)
Post by: Hannah on September 15, 2009, 01:53:19 AM
Post by: Hannah on September 15, 2009, 01:53:19 AM
Quote"Well, there was a name change." I smiled and shrugged my shoulders.Julie your'e so cool 8)
Title: Re: Could you prove you were ever anything but female? (for MTFr's)
Post by: Chrissty on September 15, 2009, 02:41:29 AM
Post by: Chrissty on September 15, 2009, 02:41:29 AM
I really think you should write a book.. ;)
Your answer to "How about that banker over there?", he asked me. "He came from your branch and maybe might know you."..
...was remarkably restrained.. ;)
... but I'll bet there were a whole bunch of other responses that went through your mind as you said it.. ;D
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Your answer to "How about that banker over there?", he asked me. "He came from your branch and maybe might know you."..
...was remarkably restrained.. ;)
... but I'll bet there were a whole bunch of other responses that went through your mind as you said it.. ;D
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Title: Re: Could you prove you were ever anything but female? (for MTFr's)
Post by: heatherrose on September 15, 2009, 03:03:09 AM
Post by: heatherrose on September 15, 2009, 03:03:09 AM
Quote from: juliekins on September 14, 2009, 11:56:03 PMJust be careful, you may not be able to prove that you were ever born anything but female!
Hopefully, that will be an indignity I will just have to suffer through.
Title: Re: Here's a Funny Story- Could you prove you were ever anything but female?
Post by: K8 on September 15, 2009, 07:09:32 AM
Post by: K8 on September 15, 2009, 07:09:32 AM
How wonderful, Julie. ;D Thanks for sharing.
Despite the pain and agony, this is a strange and wonderful journey. It should not be attempted without a sense of humor. ;)
- Kate
Despite the pain and agony, this is a strange and wonderful journey. It should not be attempted without a sense of humor. ;)
- Kate
Title: Re: Here's a Funny Story- Could you prove you were ever anything but female?
Post by: Debra on September 15, 2009, 07:56:29 AM
Post by: Debra on September 15, 2009, 07:56:29 AM
Thanks for sharing! I love real life stories like this :)
Title: Re: Could you prove you were ever anything but female? (for MTFr's)
Post by: Julie Marie on September 15, 2009, 10:20:27 AM
Post by: Julie Marie on September 15, 2009, 10:20:27 AM
Quote from: Chrissty on September 15, 2009, 02:41:29 AM
I really think you should write a book.. ;)
Chrissty
Having two life stories in one household, we have talked about that on occasion. Julie passes so easily these things happen to her a lot more than me but it's always funny when they do.
Julie
Title: Re: Could you prove you were ever anything but female? (for MTFr's)
Post by: Chrissty on September 15, 2009, 01:25:14 PM
Post by: Chrissty on September 15, 2009, 01:25:14 PM
Quote from: Julie Marie on September 15, 2009, 10:20:27 AM
Having two life stories in one household, we have talked about that on occasion. Julie passes so easily these things happen to her a lot more than me but it's always funny when they do.
Julie
Nothing wrong with co-writers as far as I can see... ;)
...and you can put me down for an advance copy... ;D
Maybe get Cami or Leslie-Ann to sort out a way of on-line distribution, and your away....! :D
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Title: Re: Here's a Funny Story- Could you prove you were ever anything but female?
Post by: CharleneT on September 16, 2009, 10:04:30 AM
Post by: CharleneT on September 16, 2009, 10:04:30 AM
I'm in the early stages of transition and struggling with many issues... your story really lifted my spirits today ;) -- plus it was quite funny. I'd love to see his facial expressions !
THANKS ;D
THANKS ;D
Title: Re: Could you prove you were ever anything but female? (for MTFr's)
Post by: Northern Jane on September 16, 2009, 11:53:03 AM
Post by: Northern Jane on September 16, 2009, 11:53:03 AM
Quote from: Mister on September 15, 2009, 01:50:56 AMSituations like this can easily be dealt with by bringing along a copy of your name change.
Unless it is a name change you are trying to do ;D
I "transitioned" in 1974, before legal name changes were allowed and birth certificates couldn't be amended. Fortunately, under British Common Law, I didn't need a legal name change until I wanted to get my birth certificate amended more than 30 years later.
I filled out the forms and took them into the court office and the lady looked like she had been struck dumb! She looked at the names on the papers (before and after), looked at me, looked back at the papers and said "No! That can't be....." I smiled sheepishly and said "A LONG time ago." She just shook her head in disbelief and processed the application.
The first time it happened to me was on my flight home from SRS. I realized that I didn't look the least bit male but all I had for ID was my Canadian birth certificate! Fortunately I was not asked to show it ...... that could have gotten REALLY awkward LOL!
Title: Re: Here's a Funny Story- Could you prove you were ever anything but female?
Post by: pheonix on September 17, 2009, 09:50:44 AM
Post by: pheonix on September 17, 2009, 09:50:44 AM
I've encountered a similar situation on several occasions... typically I can resolve them by dropping my voice back into the male range. But the best solution came from my 7 year-old daughter...
A doctor attending her was arguing with me that she needed a biological parent to begin treatment for my daughter, despite me explaining several times I was her father. My daughter got frustrated, sighed very loudly, and then rolled her eyes. "THAT's," she said pointing at me, "my daddy. He was a boy and now she's a girl."
;D
A doctor attending her was arguing with me that she needed a biological parent to begin treatment for my daughter, despite me explaining several times I was her father. My daughter got frustrated, sighed very loudly, and then rolled her eyes. "THAT's," she said pointing at me, "my daddy. He was a boy and now she's a girl."
;D
Title: Re: Could you prove you were ever anything but female? (for MTFr's)
Post by: Suzy on September 17, 2009, 10:14:08 AM
Post by: Suzy on September 17, 2009, 10:14:08 AM
Quote from: Julie Marie on September 15, 2009, 10:20:27 AM
Having two life stories in one household, we have talked about that on occasion. Julie passes so easily these things happen to her a lot more than me but it's always funny when they do.
Julie
Sure, can I be your editor and agent? Might have to move into that spare room for a while. ;)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
Title: Re: Here's a Funny Story- Could you prove you were ever anything but female?
Post by: Ellieka on September 17, 2009, 11:16:16 AM
Post by: Ellieka on September 17, 2009, 11:16:16 AM
If you girls did write a book I'd want an autographed copy! I love your post and I just get a kick out of the way you handle some of the most awkward situations.
Title: Re: Here's a Funny Story- Could you prove you were ever anything but female?
Post by: juliekins on September 19, 2009, 12:43:49 AM
Post by: juliekins on September 19, 2009, 12:43:49 AM
We'll be offering signed copies out in the lobby later! Ha, ha.....
I haven't had use for an ob-gyn yet,but you all will be the first to see that conversation when it takes place!
I haven't had use for an ob-gyn yet,but you all will be the first to see that conversation when it takes place!
Title: Re: Here's a Funny Story- Could you prove you were ever anything but female?
Post by: heatherrose on September 19, 2009, 08:10:29 PM
Post by: heatherrose on September 19, 2009, 08:10:29 PM
Quote from: pheonix on September 17, 2009, 09:50:44 AM...I can resolve them by dropping my voice back into the male range.
This plan could be effective, in the moment but it may backfire on us,
in the long run. Using this method tends to freak people out and might
provide evidence to some, of claims that this is just a big game
to us and we can choose to "switch back and forth", at will.
As a friend once said to me, "If your gonna be a woman, be a woman."
This may not be an issue for our brothers and sisters, who are
comfortable with "a part time presentation", as it should not be but
we who struggle to be taken seriously in our assertions that we are nothing
but what we know we are, woman and men, we may want to consider the
ramifications of confusing the issue any further than it already is.
Title: Re: Here's a Funny Story- Could you prove you were ever anything but female?
Post by: K8 on September 20, 2009, 06:47:04 AM
Post by: K8 on September 20, 2009, 06:47:04 AM
I hear what you are saying, Heather. As far as I'm concerned this a one-way street, and I'd like the people around me to recognize that.
Also, it may not be that easy. A few days ago I was fooling around with a GG friend and did a deep-voiced "What's going on here?" or something and just about choked myself coughing afterwards. :P My voice just doesn't want to go back there. :)
- Kate
Also, it may not be that easy. A few days ago I was fooling around with a GG friend and did a deep-voiced "What's going on here?" or something and just about choked myself coughing afterwards. :P My voice just doesn't want to go back there. :)
- Kate
Title: Re: Here's a Funny Story- Could you prove you were ever anything but female?
Post by: Julie Marie on September 20, 2009, 08:34:20 AM
Post by: Julie Marie on September 20, 2009, 08:34:20 AM
There's only one occasion I will drop my voice, when I feel I am in danger and I'm trying to shock the hell out the person threatening me. I did that a few years ago and it worked but I was scared to death at the time and it just happened.
But on a lighter note, I pulled up to a drive up and placed an order for Julie and me and when I was done the girl says, "Is the order on the screen right ma'am?" That was nice. ;D
Julie
But on a lighter note, I pulled up to a drive up and placed an order for Julie and me and when I was done the girl says, "Is the order on the screen right ma'am?" That was nice. ;D
Julie
Title: Re: Here's a Funny Story- Could you prove you were ever anything but female?
Post by: Steph2003 on September 20, 2009, 08:49:49 AM
Post by: Steph2003 on September 20, 2009, 08:49:49 AM
Julie -
What a great story!
I was having a "bad day" on Friday - the reason being I just don't think I'll ever pass!
It's wonderful to here stories like yours - it helps some of us in building our own self confidence!
Steph
What a great story!
I was having a "bad day" on Friday - the reason being I just don't think I'll ever pass!
It's wonderful to here stories like yours - it helps some of us in building our own self confidence!
Steph
Title: Re: Here's a Funny Story- Could you prove you were ever anything but female?
Post by: heatherrose on September 20, 2009, 08:53:09 AM
Post by: heatherrose on September 20, 2009, 08:53:09 AM
Julie,
Gotta love it. :icon_yes:Good for you, Sweety.