General Discussions => Entertainment => Humor => Topic started by: nickie on September 16, 2009, 04:49:56 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Best comeback line
Post by: nickie on September 16, 2009, 04:49:56 PM
Post by: nickie on September 16, 2009, 04:49:56 PM
On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a heavy drinking session when he decided to stop. 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around,' he stated in a telephone interview.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.' Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence . I said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin? '
'He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said...
"A pumpkin? Sh-- ..... is it midnight already?"'
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a heavy drinking session when he decided to stop. 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around,' he stated in a telephone interview.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.' Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence . I said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin? '
'He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said...
"A pumpkin? Sh-- ..... is it midnight already?"'
Title: Re: Best comeback line
Post by: Constance on September 16, 2009, 05:07:35 PM
Post by: Constance on September 16, 2009, 05:07:35 PM
;D :D :icon_yikes:
Title: Re: Best comeback line
Post by: Suzy on September 16, 2009, 05:17:59 PM
Post by: Suzy on September 16, 2009, 05:17:59 PM
Bwahahahahaha!
Kristi
Title: Re: Best comeback line
Post by: Constance on September 16, 2009, 05:27:05 PM
Post by: Constance on September 16, 2009, 05:27:05 PM
I'd like to add that not only have I never been that drunk, I sincerely hope I never WILL be that drunk.
Title: Re: Best comeback line
Post by: tekla on September 16, 2009, 05:32:23 PM
Post by: tekla on September 16, 2009, 05:32:23 PM
Yeah, really, a pumpkin, at least hold out for the cornish game hen.
Title: Re: Best comeback line
Post by: Constance on September 16, 2009, 05:52:49 PM
Post by: Constance on September 16, 2009, 05:52:49 PM
Stuffing the bird, eh, Tekla?
Title: Re: Best comeback line
Post by: Ellieka on September 16, 2009, 07:57:52 PM
Post by: Ellieka on September 16, 2009, 07:57:52 PM
OMG! :laugh: :laugh: This thread is full of win already. I only wish I could be that quick witted while intoxicated!