Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: Xtr3m3r on September 18, 2009, 12:51:21 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Hello!
Post by: Xtr3m3r on September 18, 2009, 12:51:21 AM
Post by: Xtr3m3r on September 18, 2009, 12:51:21 AM
Hello!
My name is Phillip. You may wonder why such a young member is joining susans. As being a male kid I've always wanted and felt that I was a girl.
When I was about 3, I started noticing I rather played with girls more often, including their dolls etc. I never had a passion like the others boys with, let's say, soccer, action man and a whole lot several things they usually played with. I did have alot of actions mans, cars and soccer balls but I never actually played with them, other than just showing them to show boys how I was and acted like them.
As I grew up I created this huge interest for make up. I would polish my nails, and makeup my whole face. I even think my mom caught me sometimes but I never thought she actually figured out how I felt.
After all this makeup extravaganza, I decided it was better for me to stay as stealth as possible, but, I still couldn't stop playing with dolls, makeup'eing me and others as inside I saw myself as being a girl and not how my body showed me being, a boy.
I then began to become more stealth and studied my class mates alot in order to pass as being one of them. I've done, said alot of things I regret and that I would slap myself many times if I ever did them again. I've been very depressed lately as I know I am transgendered and have GID, but I can not tell it to anyone as I would be jeopardized and excluded from society, beaten up etc.
My class's just started 2 days ago and I rather hang withbthe girls other than the boys. Were always talking about anything and I don't think they even notice because I think they are actually glad they have a boy who they can talk with about anything, even though I don't identify myself as being one. I've actually reached the point where I no longer care and wish to be acknowledge as being a female. I've told 4 friends and am in the process of telling my mom, as I never wished and no longer want to waste more time of my life being something I am not and that I don't seek for myself.
My friends said it was ok and that they would still be my friends no matter what. I've been researching for therapists , procedures, surgeries and I actually kinda have "everything planed" on how I want to live my life. I'm looking foward to tell my mom next week.
Yesterday she approached me and asked if I was sad or depressed.. I felt like telling her, but at the same time something told me it was not the right moment to.
As being a current male in puberty, I must say I hate every day that passes by more and more. I had defined hips and boobs but their driving away every day that pass's, driving me as well, more depressed about my phisical aspects.
But I hope, that when I tell my mom she accepts me and allows me to visit therapists in order to get more informed and eventually help to proceed my life transitioning as even being young, I've decided transitioning is what I wish for and want at whatever cost to transition.
I crossdress and makeup barely every day now and still I feel it's not enough. That's one of the main reasons I decided to transition as such an young age. After writing this, I might even go tell my mom...
So as I say hello, I seek for help and guindance, support and many others I know this community can provide me with. This is preety much young years of my life, and with this I end my introduction.
My name is Phillip. You may wonder why such a young member is joining susans. As being a male kid I've always wanted and felt that I was a girl.
When I was about 3, I started noticing I rather played with girls more often, including their dolls etc. I never had a passion like the others boys with, let's say, soccer, action man and a whole lot several things they usually played with. I did have alot of actions mans, cars and soccer balls but I never actually played with them, other than just showing them to show boys how I was and acted like them.
As I grew up I created this huge interest for make up. I would polish my nails, and makeup my whole face. I even think my mom caught me sometimes but I never thought she actually figured out how I felt.
After all this makeup extravaganza, I decided it was better for me to stay as stealth as possible, but, I still couldn't stop playing with dolls, makeup'eing me and others as inside I saw myself as being a girl and not how my body showed me being, a boy.
I then began to become more stealth and studied my class mates alot in order to pass as being one of them. I've done, said alot of things I regret and that I would slap myself many times if I ever did them again. I've been very depressed lately as I know I am transgendered and have GID, but I can not tell it to anyone as I would be jeopardized and excluded from society, beaten up etc.
My class's just started 2 days ago and I rather hang withbthe girls other than the boys. Were always talking about anything and I don't think they even notice because I think they are actually glad they have a boy who they can talk with about anything, even though I don't identify myself as being one. I've actually reached the point where I no longer care and wish to be acknowledge as being a female. I've told 4 friends and am in the process of telling my mom, as I never wished and no longer want to waste more time of my life being something I am not and that I don't seek for myself.
My friends said it was ok and that they would still be my friends no matter what. I've been researching for therapists , procedures, surgeries and I actually kinda have "everything planed" on how I want to live my life. I'm looking foward to tell my mom next week.
Yesterday she approached me and asked if I was sad or depressed.. I felt like telling her, but at the same time something told me it was not the right moment to.
As being a current male in puberty, I must say I hate every day that passes by more and more. I had defined hips and boobs but their driving away every day that pass's, driving me as well, more depressed about my phisical aspects.
But I hope, that when I tell my mom she accepts me and allows me to visit therapists in order to get more informed and eventually help to proceed my life transitioning as even being young, I've decided transitioning is what I wish for and want at whatever cost to transition.
I crossdress and makeup barely every day now and still I feel it's not enough. That's one of the main reasons I decided to transition as such an young age. After writing this, I might even go tell my mom...
So as I say hello, I seek for help and guindance, support and many others I know this community can provide me with. This is preety much young years of my life, and with this I end my introduction.
Title: Re: Hello!
Post by: finewine on September 18, 2009, 01:08:03 AM
Post by: finewine on September 18, 2009, 01:08:03 AM
Welcome Phillip - you're among friends here! :)
Title: Re: Hello!
Post by: Xtr3m3r on September 18, 2009, 01:14:30 AM
Post by: Xtr3m3r on September 18, 2009, 01:14:30 AM
Thanks finewine :)
Title: Re: Hello!
Post by: Cindy on September 18, 2009, 04:59:42 AM
Post by: Cindy on September 18, 2009, 04:59:42 AM
Hi Phillip,
Nice to meet you. I hope every thing goes smoothly. BTW I missed how old you are? Not important but helps people give advice.
Cindy
Nice to meet you. I hope every thing goes smoothly. BTW I missed how old you are? Not important but helps people give advice.
Cindy
Title: Re: Hello!
Post by: Janet_Girl on September 18, 2009, 09:18:59 AM
Post by: Janet_Girl on September 18, 2009, 09:18:59 AM
Hi Phillip, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 3200 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. :icon_hug:
And be sure to check out
Blessed Be.
Janet
Welcome to our little family. Over 3200 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. :icon_hug:
And be sure to check out
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
Blessed Be.
Janet
Title: Re: Hello!
Post by: Xtr3m3r on September 18, 2009, 01:33:48 PM
Post by: Xtr3m3r on September 18, 2009, 01:33:48 PM
Thanks for being so welcoming, everyone :)
Well I kinda got a Private message from Chris ro rather avoid posting to many personal details, as my age was on the introduction and he removed it, so I don't really know what to do :X
Well I kinda got a Private message from Chris ro rather avoid posting to many personal details, as my age was on the introduction and he removed it, so I don't really know what to do :X
Title: Re: Hello!
Post by: Ellieka on September 18, 2009, 01:44:24 PM
Post by: Ellieka on September 18, 2009, 01:44:24 PM
Hi Phillip,
Welcome to Susan's. This place is a great resource and I truly believe you will find lots of support here.
I think your mom is going to be a big help for you because it sounds like she is really in tune with your emotions. She cared enough to ask if you were depressed so I think she really wants you to open up to her.
I hope everything goes well for you. You seam very intelligent and cautious so I think your going to be just find in the long run.
Welcome to Susan's. This place is a great resource and I truly believe you will find lots of support here.
I think your mom is going to be a big help for you because it sounds like she is really in tune with your emotions. She cared enough to ask if you were depressed so I think she really wants you to open up to her.
I hope everything goes well for you. You seam very intelligent and cautious so I think your going to be just find in the long run.
Title: Re: Hello!
Post by: Xtr3m3r on September 18, 2009, 01:57:40 PM
Post by: Xtr3m3r on September 18, 2009, 01:57:40 PM
Thank you, Cami. And mom cares more about me than anything else, as she is my mom, after all..
Also, thanks for the compliment :)
Also, thanks for the compliment :)
Title: Re: Hello!
Post by: fluffy jorgen on September 18, 2009, 02:08:18 PM
Post by: fluffy jorgen on September 18, 2009, 02:08:18 PM
Welcome, you won't be disappointed, everyone here is really supportive and friendly. ;D
Title: Re: Hello!
Post by: K8 on September 18, 2009, 08:05:39 PM
Post by: K8 on September 18, 2009, 08:05:39 PM
Welcome to Susan's, Phillip. It sounds like your mom will probably be supportive. You just need to figure out a good way to tell her. There are lots of suggestions here.
It will be good if you can do something about your GID, but don't worry that if you don't do something by XX age you will be a failure or doomed. Very many of us are successfully dealing with it at MUCH older ages than you are. ;)
Welcome. Look around. Let us know how you're doing. :)
- Kate
It will be good if you can do something about your GID, but don't worry that if you don't do something by XX age you will be a failure or doomed. Very many of us are successfully dealing with it at MUCH older ages than you are. ;)
Welcome. Look around. Let us know how you're doing. :)
- Kate
Title: Re: Hello!
Post by: Xtr3m3r on September 19, 2009, 05:33:44 PM
Post by: Xtr3m3r on September 19, 2009, 05:33:44 PM
Ohh I wouldn't even think that by transition alot older or even just some years would make me a failure :P
It's just that, the sooner the better and my country legislation sucks. I can not have kids/ be married in order to be allowed to change my birth records later one when I supposedly trasition. It's that there isn't a law that allows having SRS but there isn't one that states that having a SRS is illegal, so this conditions have been brough upon. I do not wish to live on others expectations and I know that if I delay this more and more, I'll eventually have to keep lying and one day even, who knows, obligated to marry.
It's just that, the sooner the better and my country legislation sucks. I can not have kids/ be married in order to be allowed to change my birth records later one when I supposedly trasition. It's that there isn't a law that allows having SRS but there isn't one that states that having a SRS is illegal, so this conditions have been brough upon. I do not wish to live on others expectations and I know that if I delay this more and more, I'll eventually have to keep lying and one day even, who knows, obligated to marry.
Title: Re: Hello!
Post by: Princess Phoebe on September 19, 2009, 05:48:47 PM
Post by: Princess Phoebe on September 19, 2009, 05:48:47 PM
Hello. Welcome to Susan's. I hope we can all be helpful to you. :)