Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Do you use these words with other people that are TG?  What do they mean to you specifically?

My real life sister calls me "sister", that's what I am.  Why would you call someone by something other than a term that fits who they live as?

Sarah L.

Occasionally. In a way, I guess I feel I have a sort of kinship with other people who were born with this condition.

I call my sister well sister of course but I have never done this with others who share the condition.  I dunno, just not that in touch with others I suppose.

I am a mtf ts, & while I have 1 brother & 2 sisters, I never really had felt the need to address this w/them, when I had "the talk" w/my Son, I made sure to let him, know that no matter what, "I'll always be your dad"

Quote from: Bellaon7 on October 02, 2009, 08:42:28 PM
when I had "the talk" w/my Son, I made sure to let him, know that no matter what, "I'll always be your dad"

If you're MtF, you won't always be his dad, you'll be his mom.  Isn't that what you want?  To be his mother?

I address people as they wish to be addressed and hope for the same in return  :icon_chick:

I use the terms for my family here only.  Mostly because this is my only family.  I am an only child.  With people in the real world, I address them by name.


Janet

 :D :D :D Yep I call all the dudes "bro" b/c thats what they are my bro's. We've been thru the same stuff.
I'm kinda shy w/the girls I just call them by their first name.  :D :D :D

Quote from: Maiden on October 02, 2009, 09:00:53 PM
If you're MtF, you won't always be his dad, you'll be his mom.  Isn't that what you want?  To be his mother?

No, he already has a mom. If I were to adopt w/another female, then yes we would both be the child's mom. 

Never.  Brother/Bro and Sister are reserved for my family and my union brothers and sisters.  They are very special words to me, and I use them for very special persons.  If addressed as such by someone other than my family and union brethren I will correct the speaker and tell them in no uncertain terms that they are NOT my brother.

I use sister only in emphasizing agreement or kinship with the idea being expressed, as in "I'm with you on that, sister." I never use brother like that.

Quote from: Sarah Louise on October 02, 2009, 05:16:39 PM
My real life sister calls me "sister", that's what I am.  Why would you call someone by something other than a term that fits who they live as?

Why indeed? Unfortunately my real life sister will talk about lots of girl stuff with me, but still refuses to even use my real legal name, much less call me sister. Maybe she'll come around some day. Sometimes the simplest threads can bring up painful thoughts. I'm going to go cry now.   :-\

I don't use them with other transexuals either, but I understand why some people do and it doesn't bother me unless the individual is so far off in crazy land that they can't see their own feet...in which case I'll usually mention that she and I are more like cousins than sisters.

Those terms are reserved for my real siblings.

This is interesting. Where I live, the not-as-liberal-as-you'd-think SF Bay Area, the way to ask if another person is gay is to ask if they're "family".

Why don't trans people have a term like this?

Alex, yes, I'm a bit puzzled by the responses in this thread, too. I've often referred to "my brothers" or "my sisters" when talking about transsexuals as a group. 

I suppose it might be a bit different when referring an individual. Years ago in the past, when I think the sister/brother honorific may have been used more frequently, I had one friend who actually expected me to grant her the favors I would reserve only for birth relatives. Perhaps the community has distanced themselves from using the brother/sister honorific as a way of limiting demands on an individual's scarce resources?  I dunno.

I think I would still consider an individual, who was also transsexual, as a brother or a sister.  But the term wouldn't enter into our conversation, unless he or she was especially dear to me.

Quote from: Allamakee on October 03, 2009, 06:13:16 PM
Perhaps the community has distanced themselves from using the brother/sister honorific as a way of limiting demands on an individual's scarce resources?

^ This. At least when it comes to me, I don't think I'd call anyone 'brother' or 'sister' unless I was willing to do for them what I'm willing to do for my brothers-by-birth.

I usually say 'man' or 'dude'. I only think I'd call someone 'bro' in a sarcastic sort of manner. (not that I can think of one right now...)

i dont call anyone brother or sister (or bro or sis).  and i dont have any biological or union brothers or sisters.  it kindof bugs me when people call me brother or bro though.  for once, i think i agree with everything that tekla said.

Transistors.

My two brothers are jerks. Just because we had the same parents, doesn't mean there is any connection that's meaningful.

I never had a sister, but always wanted one. Over time, starting long before transition, I have always adopted certain friends as sisters. I consider one or two women here to be my sisters. If anyone doesn't like that, tuff titty in the city, baby.

My sister is my sister and my brother is my brother.  I think they both still think of me as their brother, although my sister is - I think - starting to think of me as her sister.

I don't usually use the terms for other people, other than to show agreement - "Say it, sister!" or "Go for it, brother!".  It's not that the terms are reserved for people of special status, it's just that I don't usually speak that way.

I have a friend I grew up with who was more of a sister to me than my blood sister.  She said that I am no longer her almost-brother but am now her almost-sister.

My daughter calls me Maddie so that she can use female pronouns easily.  We both know I will always be her parent.  She introduces me to others as her mom, even when most of them know she has another mom.  (But some people do have two moms.)

We are all sisters and brothers in some sense, just because we are all human.  But I usually don't use those terms to describe my cohorts who have struggled as I have.  Perhaps it is because we struggle separately, wrestling with our own demons, trying to become our indivdual selves. ???

- Kate

I think I'm probably closest to K8 on this one.  I don't generally use the term for other than use in showing agreement, or on very infrequent occasions otherwise.
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I'm not particularly against it, and would accept the honorific politely if someone used it toward me, but it isn't one that I frequently use myself.