Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Morgan on October 11, 2009, 09:43:51 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Grandparents...
Post by: Morgan on October 11, 2009, 09:43:51 PM
Post by: Morgan on October 11, 2009, 09:43:51 PM
My therapist said that in order to start testosterone, I need to tell more people about myself, including my grandparents.
But they're the kind of people who will tell the rest of my family (And I have a biiig, christian family full of old people) And I'm just not comfortable with that. I don't want ALL of them knowing. I'd rather them think I'm a vagabond that never shows up at family reunions. I think it would be better to just show up as a man, full beard and all, and be all SURPRISE HAHA forgot to tell you I got trasmogrified into a dude cool huh? Well, not a good idea, but not as bad as having my whole extended family hating my parents for 'raising me wrong'.
As for the 'more people' part, I'm okay with telling my classmates I hang out with and the few friends that I haven't told yet. Do you think that should be enough? I mean, I've told all of you, I go to the transsexual meetings in my area, I've told my parents and my sister.
But what do I know? So what's your opinion, folks? Y/N to telling the grandparents, with risk of them blabbing to everyone?
But they're the kind of people who will tell the rest of my family (And I have a biiig, christian family full of old people) And I'm just not comfortable with that. I don't want ALL of them knowing. I'd rather them think I'm a vagabond that never shows up at family reunions. I think it would be better to just show up as a man, full beard and all, and be all SURPRISE HAHA forgot to tell you I got trasmogrified into a dude cool huh? Well, not a good idea, but not as bad as having my whole extended family hating my parents for 'raising me wrong'.
As for the 'more people' part, I'm okay with telling my classmates I hang out with and the few friends that I haven't told yet. Do you think that should be enough? I mean, I've told all of you, I go to the transsexual meetings in my area, I've told my parents and my sister.
But what do I know? So what's your opinion, folks? Y/N to telling the grandparents, with risk of them blabbing to everyone?
Title: Re: Grandparents...
Post by: Lachlann on October 11, 2009, 09:48:46 PM
Post by: Lachlann on October 11, 2009, 09:48:46 PM
My grandparents raised me so it was two birds with one stone.
Honestly, if you want any sort of relationship with your family you probably have to. They'll figure it out eventually. I think you also have to consider... how far are you willing to go for testosterone?
Honestly, if you want any sort of relationship with your family you probably have to. They'll figure it out eventually. I think you also have to consider... how far are you willing to go for testosterone?
Title: Re: Grandparents...
Post by: Morgan on October 11, 2009, 09:57:13 PM
Post by: Morgan on October 11, 2009, 09:57:13 PM
I'd go pretty far to start T. I'd tell them if I absolutely no exceptions HAD TO tell them. It's just the thought of all of them knowing... If I knew it would be just my grandparents knowing, I'd be fine with it, I guess. :-\
Title: Re: Grandparents...
Post by: sd on October 11, 2009, 10:54:25 PM
Post by: sd on October 11, 2009, 10:54:25 PM
I would say tell a few, but not them just yet.
When you are ready for others to know, tell the grandparents first.
When you are ready for others to know, tell the grandparents first.
Title: Re: Grandparents...
Post by: Jay on October 12, 2009, 03:38:24 AM
Post by: Jay on October 12, 2009, 03:38:24 AM
I wouldn't tell them no. Mine don't know. My therapist never said that I had to tell anyone about me!
Jay
Jay
Title: Re: Grandparents...
Post by: sneakersjay on October 12, 2009, 07:36:35 AM
Post by: sneakersjay on October 12, 2009, 07:36:35 AM
I didn't know coming out to extended family was a condition of transition.
Jay
Jay
Title: Re: Grandparents...
Post by: Morgan on October 12, 2009, 12:43:42 PM
Post by: Morgan on October 12, 2009, 12:43:42 PM
Quote from: sneakersjay on October 12, 2009, 07:36:35 AM
I didn't know coming out to extended family was a condition of transition.
Jay
That's exactly what I was thinking. This seems to be a pattern with my therapist, the first day I saw her she had me tell my Mom, who was with me, who I wasn't planning on telling for a long time. I don't know why she's so keen on everyone in my life knowing right now and no later. I mean, I understand that they'll find out eventually, but I feel like I need to tell them when I'M ready.
I don't know which side to take, really.
Title: Re: Grandparents...
Post by: Dana Lane on October 12, 2009, 12:48:53 PM
Post by: Dana Lane on October 12, 2009, 12:48:53 PM
Tell your therapist that he/she needs to see a therapist! LOL I can't imagine there would be a requirement of telling specific people in your life to get hormone treatment.
Title: Re: Grandparents...
Post by: Sarah Louise on October 12, 2009, 12:53:37 PM
Post by: Sarah Louise on October 12, 2009, 12:53:37 PM
I think that is a rather odd request. Did you ask the therapist why you needed to tell them, what purpose it would serve?
If your parents know, that should be acceptable.
Sarah L.
If your parents know, that should be acceptable.
Sarah L.
Title: Re: Grandparents...
Post by: Suzy on October 12, 2009, 01:15:26 PM
Post by: Suzy on October 12, 2009, 01:15:26 PM
I have NEVER heard a requirement like that before. FWIW, I did not have to jump through that hoop.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi