Susan's Place Transgender Resources

My brother gave me a call this afternoon and said he was just checking on how I am doing.  Well in the conversation, he said he wants to meet me for dinner sometime later this month.  Also he said his fiancée wants to meet me too.  His schedule is booked solid all of next week, but it will probably be the week after.  I haven't seen him since I worked for my Dad back in April and he's only seen me dressed as male.  There may be hope after all.

Melissa

That's fantastic news, Melissa!  This is the same brother that was earlier having problems with your transition, isn't it?  How wonderful that he has given you the benefit of reconsideration and is willing to see you now.

When you do make the date with him I hope you knock his socks off by being the best lady you can be.  And just think, you and your soon to be sister-in-law could very well become good friends!

How fortunate you are, Melissa!

Hugs & Smiles!!
helen

Yes, it's the same.  I only have 1 brother and 1 sister.  He still calls me by my old name and uses the wrong pronouns all the time, but I stopped saying anything.  Hopefully it will start to feel awkward for him to do that.

Melissa

Melissa

There is always hope, that is one thing we all have access to.

I hope it goes ok, set your exceptions low and come out pleasntly surprised (or exstatic) when the best happens.

Buffy

Quote from: Buffy on October 13, 2006, 10:19:55 PM
Melissa

There is always hope, that is one thing we all have access to.

I hope it goes ok, set your exceptions low and come out pleasntly surprised (or exstatic) when the best happens.

Buffy

I assume you meant expectations.  Yeah, he's been talking to me and on MySpace I have him added as a friend, so he may have seen me through there.  I don't know.  Either way, I think it will go fine.  Even if he doesn't have a reaction at all, it will probably be hard for him to deny that I'm female after seeing me in person.

Melissa

That is great Melissa. And he made the move. I do hope all will go well for you.

                                       Marco

Great news. Hope it all goes well! :)

Hi Melissa:

This is good news for both of you.  These things take time and a lot of patience.  When everyone gets over the initial shock they seem to calm down and realize you're still family.  For me I had one brother who came right out and said he didn't want to see us again.  But after a month and a lot of talking with my oldest brother, he phoned us up out of the blue and wanted to go out to supper with us.  Yup it's a time thing.  I am glad for you.

Gill

Good news as well!  I mirror everyone elses thoughts.  I dress but more so privately as a lot do so the idea of dressing and showing is horrifying to me, good luck!  I hope it goes well and will be anxious to hear what happens?  Do you know the fiance?  Does she have issues with you>

Quote from: Ricki on October 14, 2006, 05:47:19 PM
Do you know the fiance?  Does she have issues with you>

No I don't.  I don't think so.

Melissa

So.................?????
Did you meet with your brother yet or is this down the road a ways?
My little (well he's 36 not little) brother is in jail right now soo sad!  He's an alcoholic violent one at that, had done some state time years back, shame he has an ex wife, a son who is 13 years old!!!!!!!!  He's waiting on hearings for maybe some more time!  He spiralled his life out of control, (this is the third time he's done this) lost his apartment (almost burned it down in a drunken rage) his job after that and then his freedon after flipping out in public drunk and threatening to hurt and kill people!
Sad I'm at the end of the rope with letting him have chance after chance of screwing up and being able to move back in with us (me and my mother live together its mutally $$ for her my dad did not leave her in good terms financially when he died -  since i never married or settled down i was the perfect candidate to be here and help out!) to get his life fixed only to see him destroy it all over again1  Such a bad cycle!

I'm sorry to hear that.  My siblings and I have always been good kids.  It's just that with transition, I'm now the "black sheep".  Me and my brother still haven't met.  It's supposed to be next week, I think, but it depends if I can get out of watching the kids that day and if he hasn't already made plans yet.

Melissa

thanks i'll be curious as to how this goes?  Were you guys close?
My brother honestly of all in the family had almost no real issues with my gender it was everyone else!  Funny huh but being a drunk he was not trustworthy or reliable, in his drinking rages he would then put me down and talk about me and say the nastiest things, and oh yes i can still kick his @!#!  and have had to a few times but mainly those fights produce nothing but blood and bruises, there's never anything good that comes from them so i avoid that mess easier to call 911 i guess that threat alone has stopped some fights or would be bad events!
Life's just not easy a lot of times!

Quote from: Ricki on October 20, 2006, 05:45:29 PM
thanks i'll be curious as to how this goes?  Were you guys close?

Yes, we were pretty close.  We did a lot of stuff growing up.  After I moved out, we didn't see each other too much and he moved out of town, but then he moved back a couple years ago and we were both working for my Dad.  Even after my coming out, he and I would talk about it, even though he didn't agree with it, but I had the feeling nobody wanted to see me after I went fulltime.  He still calls me up every so often and he had previously alluded to possibly seeing me, but this was the first time that he said he actually wanted to meet me.  I wonder if he'll rethink his decision about me only going to his wedding as male.  I mean, I don't think I could pass as one very well, so that would mean I couldn't go. :(  Well, I'll see.

Melissa

Good luck.. I am off to do my own local version of the iditarod! hehe.. Well I'm piling it on now huh?  Maybe a few stealthy miles is more like it days good as far as temp (54 degrees and sunny) this afternoon-evening will be cold! Brrrrrrrrrr

That's so great Melissa!  Getting those who knew us 'before' to open themselves to us is such a positive step.  I hope all goes well.  Let us know!

Well, I'm going to have dinner tomorrow evening with him and his fiancee.

Melissa

Good luck, Melissa! I'm sure you won't need it though!

Hugs & Smiles,
helen

Melissa,

I'm so excited for you and hope it goes well!   :)

Please let us know.

*hugs*

Genevieve

Well, it went about as well as I expected to (read: not well at all).  Basically he was calling me by my old name in public a whole bunch and talking about religious stuff the whole time.  On the subject of the wedding it sounds like they really want me to come no matter what, but they are going to try and convince me as much as possible to come as male. ::)  Like that would work.  On the way home I started having suicidal thoughts again.  I am really hurt by this dinner. :'(

Melissa

Sorry to hear that Melissa.

Keep your chin high - they just do not understand.

Hugs

Alice

Soo sorry i was hoping personally that your brother would show a little more acceptance or support!  This just kills me why is it so darn hard for people to be a little open minded and be a little more accepting of things? Dang!
I'm bummed but definately think that you can work through this one, you knew going into it that there was not a high percentage of "he'll just throw his arms around me and love me"..Seriously Melissa i went through this with my big sisiter when she basically promised me all the support and love in the world and then turned around and outcast me!  I hated her, i hated me, i hated everything!  that was my uggliest year 1997.....  Long time has gone by since then but reoccurring pain still happens.. I had a rough b-day and weekend emotionally this past weekend----BUT i have extra broad shoulders (unfortunate for me cause as a girl they make me look like a linebacker, ugggg) so if i could carry some emotional weight transfer it my way tonight i (guess i would be geographically southest from you) tonight, try and sleep and have a nice dream and dump some of that bad stuff my way I'll store it in a hole for you!
I am falling alseep here past my work week bedtime!  I'll check post in am when i get up before leaving for work!  concerned some here, i hope you are okay!
Cyber hug!