Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: LynnER on October 15, 2006, 05:40:24 AM Return to Full Version
Title: I make an excelent Goth/Punk Chick :D
Post by: LynnER on October 15, 2006, 05:40:24 AM
Post by: LynnER on October 15, 2006, 05:40:24 AM
Today started off one of those days, you know, the ones where you want to crawl under a rock and rot for a while...... I had to be at work early and was stepped again by QA, stepped for showing up 2min late for my shift, and I didnt have any change for the vending machines at all LoL...
End of work day, things continue to go wrong but I'll leave that at that. I finaly made it home, ended up takeing a very short impromptu nap, wakeing up late and haveing to rush to load up.... We had a show tonight....
Okay, I know this sounds like a rant but heres where things start to pick up :)
I showed up alittle late for loadup, but the guys were kind enough to have broken my kit down and even had it outside ready to load the moment I showed up. They helped me load (both of these are things they allmost never do) Allright, Im in drab at this point, I was haveing such a bad day I was going to skip the plan of comeing out at a show again... My band was haveing none of that from me this night...
They sent me home to change into something alittle more show appropriate, and sence we were playing with Goth/Industrial bands tonight I figured I could go all out punk/goth and get away with it LoL. Black eyeliner, smokey eyes, the works. a fashion corsett and tight black jeans, sheer top so I didnt seem overboard...... okay, yeah, enough of that ;)
When I pulled up I was starting to feel the anxiety kick in, These were people who know me, some of them are or were friends of mine at some point or another... there was no way I was going to pass, no way I was going to make it out alive, (and all those other dreadful thoughts that run through your head)
I was about to pull out when I noticed an obvious dragqueen walk in... noone payed her any mind, noone gave her an odd look... This isnt the normal punk crowd we play for but the gothic sceen we were welcomed into years ago when we first got started... I sat in my car for a while longer giveing myself a chance to calm down. (I beat my band to the show btw) Finaly I grabbed my bag, stepped out of my car and walked thorugh the door... I wasnt even carded after I said I was playing (Thank God)...
I was recognised by 3 people for sure, maby a few others out of the 40 I knew, from outside it looked like it was going to be a bunk show again but 200 people had shown up... Comment from those 3 people, they wernt supprised, and for the first time sence theyve known me I looked happy...
It was amazeing, I wasnt stared at, atleast not in a bad way. <The drag queen I think was doing a good job diverting attention from me> I recieved more compliments on my outfit than I could count... I was hit on *That is an amazeing feeling for me at this point*.... I mean, it was a really awsome night, and we hadnt even played yet....
The first band up had a female drummer, second band up had a female bass player and keyboardist, and ofcourse my band had me on the drums :D I heard allot of comments about "chick bands and drummers" though out the night....
The thing I feared the most didnt happen, my worries about being blackballed, outed, and worse never came to pass.... We played the best show so far this year and Im pretty sure our fanbase has expanded. (We actualy sold merch and ran out of bumper stickers)
I guess full time started tonight rather than monday morning.... I dont think I can ever go back after this :D
Id like to thank everyone who made this possable, those who gave me a shoulder to cry on, those who listened when I needed to vent the most, those who gave there support through thick and thin, and to everyone here on susans whom without Id probably still be miserable and pathless
With all my love
******* Ambrosine **** *Hugs*
Posted on: October 15, 2006, 04:39:27 AM
Sorry, I dont have any pics... noone remembered to bring a camara. Im going to talk to the other bands that played and see if maby they took some LoL
End of work day, things continue to go wrong but I'll leave that at that. I finaly made it home, ended up takeing a very short impromptu nap, wakeing up late and haveing to rush to load up.... We had a show tonight....
Okay, I know this sounds like a rant but heres where things start to pick up :)
I showed up alittle late for loadup, but the guys were kind enough to have broken my kit down and even had it outside ready to load the moment I showed up. They helped me load (both of these are things they allmost never do) Allright, Im in drab at this point, I was haveing such a bad day I was going to skip the plan of comeing out at a show again... My band was haveing none of that from me this night...
They sent me home to change into something alittle more show appropriate, and sence we were playing with Goth/Industrial bands tonight I figured I could go all out punk/goth and get away with it LoL. Black eyeliner, smokey eyes, the works. a fashion corsett and tight black jeans, sheer top so I didnt seem overboard...... okay, yeah, enough of that ;)
When I pulled up I was starting to feel the anxiety kick in, These were people who know me, some of them are or were friends of mine at some point or another... there was no way I was going to pass, no way I was going to make it out alive, (and all those other dreadful thoughts that run through your head)
I was about to pull out when I noticed an obvious dragqueen walk in... noone payed her any mind, noone gave her an odd look... This isnt the normal punk crowd we play for but the gothic sceen we were welcomed into years ago when we first got started... I sat in my car for a while longer giveing myself a chance to calm down. (I beat my band to the show btw) Finaly I grabbed my bag, stepped out of my car and walked thorugh the door... I wasnt even carded after I said I was playing (Thank God)...
I was recognised by 3 people for sure, maby a few others out of the 40 I knew, from outside it looked like it was going to be a bunk show again but 200 people had shown up... Comment from those 3 people, they wernt supprised, and for the first time sence theyve known me I looked happy...
It was amazeing, I wasnt stared at, atleast not in a bad way. <The drag queen I think was doing a good job diverting attention from me> I recieved more compliments on my outfit than I could count... I was hit on *That is an amazeing feeling for me at this point*.... I mean, it was a really awsome night, and we hadnt even played yet....
The first band up had a female drummer, second band up had a female bass player and keyboardist, and ofcourse my band had me on the drums :D I heard allot of comments about "chick bands and drummers" though out the night....
The thing I feared the most didnt happen, my worries about being blackballed, outed, and worse never came to pass.... We played the best show so far this year and Im pretty sure our fanbase has expanded. (We actualy sold merch and ran out of bumper stickers)
I guess full time started tonight rather than monday morning.... I dont think I can ever go back after this :D
Id like to thank everyone who made this possable, those who gave me a shoulder to cry on, those who listened when I needed to vent the most, those who gave there support through thick and thin, and to everyone here on susans whom without Id probably still be miserable and pathless
With all my love
******* Ambrosine **** *Hugs*
Posted on: October 15, 2006, 04:39:27 AM
Sorry, I dont have any pics... noone remembered to bring a camara. Im going to talk to the other bands that played and see if maby they took some LoL
Title: Re: I make an excelent Goth/Punk Chick :D
Post by: cindianna_jones on October 15, 2006, 05:52:26 AM
Post by: cindianna_jones on October 15, 2006, 05:52:26 AM
*******,
Welcome back to the world. It's a heady place to be locked in the GD dimension. Now you are out. I'm thrilled that your first experience was positive. Not so many are so blessed.
Play your heart out sweetie. Life is sweet.
Chin up and all of that.
Cindi
Welcome back to the world. It's a heady place to be locked in the GD dimension. Now you are out. I'm thrilled that your first experience was positive. Not so many are so blessed.
Play your heart out sweetie. Life is sweet.
Chin up and all of that.
Cindi
Title: Re: I make an excelent Goth/Punk Chick :D
Post by: stephanie_craxford on October 15, 2006, 07:06:10 AM
Post by: stephanie_craxford on October 15, 2006, 07:06:10 AM
lol we don't need pics I can just imagine how wonderful you you are feeling. Yep they say that pictures are worth a thousand words but in this case it's your emotions that is the paint brush :) Play it again Sam...
That is sooooooooooooo great.
Steph
That is sooooooooooooo great.
Steph
Title: Re: I make an excelent Goth/Punk Chick :D
Post by: LynnER on October 15, 2006, 07:09:25 AM
Post by: LynnER on October 15, 2006, 07:09:25 AM
You have nooooo idea, For the first time in a very long time I actualy feel calm... This was my big test, this was my true fear and worry about transitioning, I dont know how many times I brought up this worry between chat and the forum. *Sighs and smiles* I was fearing the absolute worst, somehow I was blessed wth the opisite :D
Title: Re: I make an excelent Goth/Punk Chick :D
Post by: TheBattler on October 15, 2006, 07:16:40 AM
Post by: TheBattler on October 15, 2006, 07:16:40 AM
Congratulations Lynn,
I am so glad you are progressing and feeling happy. That is just wonderful.
Alice
I am so glad you are progressing and feeling happy. That is just wonderful.
Alice
Title: Re: I make an excelent Goth/Punk Chick :D
Post by: Brianna on October 15, 2006, 09:50:31 AM
Post by: Brianna on October 15, 2006, 09:50:31 AM
Lynn,
Uh, not to be sarcastic, but was there ever any doubt? OF COURSE you went to this gig. You saw. You passed. You terminated. You were a babe to boot! The only thing that was needed for this to happen was for you to have the right oportunity and to seize that mofo!
I am just beaming for you, spacekat. As I was sharing with Ilsa, it's really great when nice things happen to nice people, especially given the down news that accompanies this world.
I want pics of you looking all goth/punk and cute, not excuses. ^_^
Bree, beamingly.
Uh, not to be sarcastic, but was there ever any doubt? OF COURSE you went to this gig. You saw. You passed. You terminated. You were a babe to boot! The only thing that was needed for this to happen was for you to have the right oportunity and to seize that mofo!
I am just beaming for you, spacekat. As I was sharing with Ilsa, it's really great when nice things happen to nice people, especially given the down news that accompanies this world.
I want pics of you looking all goth/punk and cute, not excuses. ^_^
Bree, beamingly.
Title: Re: I make an excelent Goth/Punk Chick :D
Post by: Buffy on October 15, 2006, 10:23:59 AM
Post by: Buffy on October 15, 2006, 10:23:59 AM
Fantastic Lynn...
Sounds like you had a great time and there will be many more to come.
Build on your sucess and remember my free tickets and backstage pass to the party!
Becky
Sounds like you had a great time and there will be many more to come.
Build on your sucess and remember my free tickets and backstage pass to the party!
Becky
Title: Re: I make an excelent Goth/Punk Chick :D
Post by: Melissa on October 15, 2006, 10:49:45 AM
Post by: Melissa on October 15, 2006, 10:49:45 AM
Quote from: LynnER on October 15, 2006, 07:09:25 AM
You have nooooo idea, For the first time in a very long time I actualy feel calm... This was my big test, this was my true fear and worry about transitioning, I dont know how many times I brought up this worry between chat and the forum. *Sighs and smiles* I was fearing the absolute worst, somehow I was blessed wth the opisite :D
Trust me when I say many of us have an idea. A lot of us have been through similar situations before. I'm so happy that it worked out so well for you Lynn. Good luck with the future.
Melissa
Title: Re: I make an excelent Goth/Punk Chick :D
Post by: Dennis on October 15, 2006, 11:53:35 AM
Post by: Dennis on October 15, 2006, 11:53:35 AM
Quote from: Melissa on October 15, 2006, 10:49:45 AMQuote from: LynnER on October 15, 2006, 07:09:25 AM
You have nooooo idea, For the first time in a very long time I actualy feel calm... This was my big test, this was my true fear and worry about transitioning, I dont know how many times I brought up this worry between chat and the forum. *Sighs and smiles* I was fearing the absolute worst, somehow I was blessed wth the opisite :D
Trust me when I say many of us have an idea. A lot of us have been through similar situations before. I'm so happy that it worked out so well for you Lynn. Good luck with the future.
Melissa
That we do. That's what I felt like the first day I went to court in a suit. Another lawyer said "I didn't understand the whole thing at first, but you look so much more comfortable as a guy". It's such a relief when none of your worst fears come true. Congratulations Lynn :)
Dennis
Title: Re: I make an excelent Goth/Punk Chick :D
Post by: Hazumu on October 15, 2006, 01:46:14 PM
Post by: Hazumu on October 15, 2006, 01:46:14 PM
YAY-Lynn!
Now, that wasn't so bad, was it? ;D
Karen
(If you do get any pictures of you performing, I wanna' se 'em!!)
Now, that wasn't so bad, was it? ;D
Karen
(If you do get any pictures of you performing, I wanna' se 'em!!)
Title: Re: I make an excelent Goth/Punk Chick :D
Post by: HelenW on October 15, 2006, 03:59:54 PM
Post by: HelenW on October 15, 2006, 03:59:54 PM
Hey Lynn!! Wow! This is great news.
It always surprises me how much worse my anticipated fears are than the reality once it happenes. Good for YOU!!! Another big step complete and nowhere to go but onward and upward.
Hugs & Smiles,
helen
It always surprises me how much worse my anticipated fears are than the reality once it happenes. Good for YOU!!! Another big step complete and nowhere to go but onward and upward.
Hugs & Smiles,
helen
Title: Re: I make an excelent Goth/Punk Chick :D
Post by: Mario on October 16, 2006, 12:13:25 AM
Post by: Mario on October 16, 2006, 12:13:25 AM
That is great Lynn! Pictures. We want pictures ;)
Marco
Marco
Title: Re: I make an excelent Goth/Punk Chick :D
Post by: BrandiOK on October 16, 2006, 12:39:38 AM
Post by: BrandiOK on October 16, 2006, 12:39:38 AM
WAY TO GO LYNN!!!!
I'm so happy for ya' sis ;D
I'm also very proud of you. I know things have been extremely difficult lately but you have persevered and stood up for yourself in grand fashion girl. <super hugz> :)
I'm so happy for ya' sis ;D
I'm also very proud of you. I know things have been extremely difficult lately but you have persevered and stood up for yourself in grand fashion girl. <super hugz> :)
Title: Re: I make an excelent Goth/Punk Chick :D
Post by: RebeccaFog on October 16, 2006, 10:19:51 AM
Post by: RebeccaFog on October 16, 2006, 10:19:51 AM
I'm happy for your success, Lynn.
Pictures. Pictures. Pictures
Title: Re: I make an excelent Goth/Punk Chick :D
Post by: LostInTime on October 16, 2006, 02:51:21 PM
Post by: LostInTime on October 16, 2006, 02:51:21 PM
Yay! :)
I love partying with the goth/leather crowd. So very laid back.
Here's to many more gigs in your future.
Hugs,
LIT
I love partying with the goth/leather crowd. So very laid back.
Here's to many more gigs in your future.
Hugs,
LIT