Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hello everyone,

I mentioned in my intro post that I am deciding if I should take testosterone. I am looking into top surgery and a couple of surgeon  I called wants their patients to be on testosterone for a year.I found another surgeon that does not require FTMs to be on it,but his office is way too far.
I told my therapist about my fear of taking testosterone and she said I can take it for a period of time and stop when I developed some of the permanent changes.
I am concerned about the health risk,mainly because I want my own kids (by putting my egg into my partners ovaries). I was suggested that I can freeze my eggs,but I heard that procedure is very expensive.
I want to take testosterone because I know it will make me happier but at the same time I am really scared.
Has anyone felt the same way?
Has anyone been on hormone treatment for less/more than 5 years?
Is there anyone who had a bad experience with it?
etc....

Is it an option to just.. wait? Until you're "ready".

yes but i want my top surgery ASAP.

Well.. the solution then would be to go with the doc that doesn't ask for T first, even if there's distance

hey thanks for your response.I know my question has obvious answers. I guess I'm over thinking everything. Its confusing right now.

It happens.

I'm nervous about taking T but then again I want to feel more like me, so I'm willing to see what happens.

yea i know what u mean.
i got awhile to think till i get my appointment at the clinic b/c they are so full.
i think is best to discuss with the doctor about what I want in the future.

I'm surprised that they want you to be on T for a year.  3 months is more typical for FtM, and most don't have specific waiting periods.  MtFs should be on hormones for at least a year, preferably two or more, before breast enhancement.   Same for FtMs with bottom surgery.  In both cases that's in order to allow any natural growth to occur before messing with the area.  But most FtMs get their top surgery as soon as they can afford it, and I've known a couple of people who identify as gender-queer who have had top surgery without being on T at all. 

Are you working with a therapist?  If so, he or she may be able to recommend someone who isn't too far away.  Also, have you had a consult with any of the local surgeons?  Sometimes they are willing to relax their policies if they are convinced that you are of sound mind and are really sure of what you are doing.  Or they may be willing to make a compromise if you can bring them multiple letters from therapists or your family doctor.  In any case, it's worth talking to them about it.

There are a few FtMs who have had children post transition.  Thomas Beatie is, of course, the best known, but there have been others.  Unfortunately, nobody really knows what, if any, effect T has on the eggs.  Plus, I can tell you from experience that once you go on T, it will be so much harder living without it.  Even if you don't plan on getting pregnant yourself, you will have to go off for several months before hand.  If you haven't already, I suggest researching the process of harvesting eggs.  I understand it is very unpleasant and very invasive.  There's a reason why they pay women a lot of money to donate eggs.  You might decide that it isn't worth it.  Problem solved.  ;) 

But if you decide this is something you definitely do want to do, I would recommend not rushing into T.  look into your other options.  Even if you have to travel for surgery, what is a few hundred extra when you're talking several thousand for the surgery to begin with?

Quote from: Jamie-o on November 07, 2009, 08:53:00 AM
I'm surprised that they want you to be on T for a year.  3 months is more typical for FtM, and most don't have specific waiting periods.  MtFs should be on hormones for at least a year, preferably two or more, before breast enhancement.   Same for FtMs with bottom surgery.  In both cases that's in order to allow any natural growth to occur before messing with the area.  But most FtMs get their top surgery as soon as they can afford it, and I've known a couple of people who identify as gender-queer who have had top surgery without being on T at all. 

Are you working with a therapist?  If so, he or she may be able to recommend someone who isn't too far away.  Also, have you had a consult with any of the local surgeons?  Sometimes they are willing to relax their policies if they are convinced that you are of sound mind and are really sure of what you are doing.  Or they may be willing to make a compromise if you can bring them multiple letters from therapists or your family doctor.  In any case, it's worth talking to them about it.

There are a few FtMs who have had children post transition.  Thomas Beatie is, of course, the best known, but there have been others.  Unfortunately, nobody really knows what, if any, effect T has on the eggs.  Plus, I can tell you from experience that once you go on T, it will be so much harder living without it.  Even if you don't plan on getting pregnant yourself, you will have to go off for several months before hand.  If you haven't already, I suggest researching the process of harvesting eggs.  I understand it is very unpleasant and very invasive.  There's a reason why they pay women a lot of money to donate eggs.  You might decide that it isn't worth it.  Problem solved.  ;) 

But if you decide this is something you definitely do want to do, I would recommend not rushing into T.  look into your other options.  Even if you have to travel for surgery, what is a few hundred extra when you're talking several thousand for the surgery to begin with?

Yes I just started working with a therapist.I told her how I felt about starting T and she told me since I been living as a man and passing all the time, she may be able to work with the surgeon. She also said I can take T until I develop some of the permanent changes.
I just have a lot to think about.Its a big step.
A part of me is saying Just do it and live life and the other is saying wait how about your OTHER dream of having my own family.
I guess I am scared of starting "transition" too late if I decide to hold off and what if me and my partner hold off on having kids then that means holding off T even longer.
hehe I know I sound really stupid right now.

s1ncere, what's your timetable for having kids?

If you are already passing, do you want T for yourself or because it's what "everybody" does?

I also suggest what others have said, that you do a bit of research and find out which surgeons don't require T and which surgeons are willing to waive that requirement.

I think that it might be very difficult to start T and then stop it. We're all different, but I wouldn't stop T unless I knew that my life was in imminent danger from some effect of the T--which is highly unlikely--and even then, I would want to reduce my dosage, not stop entirely, and then see what happened.

Now that I'm on it, you'll have to pry it out of my cold, dead hands...

Take your time, ask around, do the research, talk to your therapist and various surgeons. You'll decide what you think is right for you.

Quote from: Arch on November 07, 2009, 02:09:57 PM
s1ncere, what's your timetable for having kids?

If you are already passing, do you want T for yourself or because it's what "everybody" does?

Ideally,probably in my 30s.

I want to take T because I feel like crap about myself sometimes,even though I pass.I want to be more masculine.I feel like can't compare to "bio" men. When I go out at 21+ scene I feel out of place,like I don't belong there.I don't look like my age.I don't have big muscles,facial hair,height like "real" men.I can't dress up the way I want to dress up sometimes. I'm always late to wherever I'm going because I'm not satisfy  of the way I look.I'm scared that my girl features are going to show.

There was a time when these men at the club who made fun of me. They approach the girl I was with and she told them that she was with me.They started making a big deal and saying all kinds of crap."I know your wonna be "BOY" is a "DYKE".Why do you want to be with a "dyke" when you can have a real man like me." Then they approach me and started saying stuff and laughing.When we left they followed us to where we parked because they were still trying to get at her.
Ever since,I felt like I shouldn't go out anywhere.I don't know what it was.Maybe it was the clothes i was wearing or my height.I don't look right in dressy clothing like slacks and a tucked in dress shirt b/c it shows my feature,but I am able to wear fitted jeans and t-shirt.


Thanks Jamie-o and Arch for taking your time to respond.

Quote from: s1ncere on November 07, 2009, 03:11:57 PM
There was a time when these men at the club who made fun of me.

I could comment on these jerkwads, but I...well, I will. Insecure little buggers, aren't they?

I used to be afraid of taking testosterone, but that was before I knew exactly what it would change.

If you haven't already, I'd suggest looking up the changes that testosterone can do for you. What about testosterone makes you afraid to take it? Kids aside that is.

Where are you located? There are many US surgeons who don't require you be on T at all.

Quote from: Tristan H. on November 07, 2009, 04:30:09 PM
I used to be afraid of taking testosterone, but that was before I knew exactly what it would change.

If you haven't already, I'd suggest looking up the changes that testosterone can do for you. What about testosterone makes you afraid to take it? Kids aside that is.

They keep telling me that its so bad for me and I would die early etc.
I hate thinking about death.I know I can die any sec.I guess I'm afraid to suffer.

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Post Merge: November 07, 2009, 05:32:19 PM

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Quote from: Nero on November 07, 2009, 04:54:26 PM
Where are you located? There are many US surgeons who don't require you be on T at all.

I live in San Diego,CA.
I actually found one surgeon in San Fransisco.

Okay... I said this very thing in another thread: T does NOT cause one to die "early". It's a very common, and fairly vicious, misconception. What testosterone does to the "female" body, in terms of longevity, is gives you the same propensities as per physical health as you would have had had you been born male. Hence, you don't have much to worry about as far as dying young, unless all the women in your family lived into their 80s or further, but all men die by 40. Barring that sort of thing, you should be fine. People will tell you that T ups your chances of heart attack or disease, that you'll end up with cancer or liver damage, but under the proper medical protocol, you'll be fine. This is the reason we ftms need to see a doctor at least once a year for blood tests--- they check liver toxin levels to make sure the T isn't affecting its functioning, cholesterol levels, and blood pressure (obviously, not via a blood test), because T can cause hypertension, though I've never heard of that happening without the person already having a genetic predisposition toward it. If you keep your "female" organs, you'll need to have a gyno exam once a year to make sure you're not at risk for ovarian or uterine cancer--- just like any other genetic female would. Basically, if you're not a moron who gets his T illegally (without a doctor's scrip), eschews doctor's appointments in general, and doesn't take care of his health, you'll be fine. You don't need to worry that you'll die prematurely, or that you're shooting yourself in the foot by trying to be fully yourself.

Now, as far as pregnancy, I can't tell you much more than the other guys have. I'm currently going through a divorce, but when I was still married, we talked about having kids, and I worried about how T would affect my eggs. I looked into freezing them, but it's upwards of $8K to do that, and you have to go through an extensive female hormone regimen to prepare the eggs for extraction. It's not a pleasant process, from what I can tell. If you don't freeze them prior to going on T, they'll stay where they are, as long as you're not planning on hysterectomy or oophorectomy. Thomas Beatie was on T for 5 years prior to bearing his two daughters, and as far as anyone's aware, those kids are fine. Like someone else said on here, there's really no research to tell us what happens to eggs when exposed to T... and I guess, if you choose to go on T and get pregnant later (or use those eggs otherwise), that's just the chance you take.

Also, as other guys have said, it's REALLY tough to go on testosterone and then stop, unless for some reason you're one of the tiny percentage of guys who has a bad reaction to it. Usually, in my understanding, those few have reactions to the oil in which the T is suspended, or some other random thing, and that can be corrected by changing the method of delivery. I've had to go off T twice, and it was excruciating for me. Whereas prior to going on T initially I thought I could possibly bear my own kids down the line, there's no chance of that now. I like the way T makes me look and feel, and I wouldn't take it back for anything. That said, I waited a year & a half after going full-time to starting T because I was one of those guys who thought I could do without it. I was wrong.

Hopefully this helps a bit....

SD

Quote from: Sebastien on November 07, 2009, 07:40:13 PM

Hopefully this helps a bit....

SD

Thanks Sebastien.Yes that helped a lot.
I'm just going to do it and stop hesitating about the what if factors.I still have a long wait for an appointment though.
I want to be happy about myself for once.I realize that it is worth the risk.

Quote from: s1ncere on November 07, 2009, 10:04:34 PM
Thanks Sebastien.Yes that helped a lot.
I'm just going to do it and stop hesitating about the what if factors.I still have a long wait for an appointment though.
I want to be happy about myself for once.I realize that it is worth the risk.

Glad Sebastien could help you out. :)

I have the same fears about death. I could just go at any minute. If you ever need anyone to talk to about it, drop me a line, I'd be glad to listen.

Quote from: s1ncere on November 07, 2009, 10:04:34 PM
I still have a long wait for an appointment though.

Are you going to the informed consent clinic? I hear that it takes forever to get an appointment these days.

Also, the reason that men, statistically, have a higher risk of heart attack and so on, is because that;
a) men are more commonly found in high risk and high pay jobs (women in similar jobs now, as a result of equal rights movements, are showing similar statistics as men)
b) women "tend" to pay more attention to their diet and generally take better care of themselves

and things like that..
So, eat right, exercise, don't stress yourself, and T ain't gonna reduce your life expectancy.

It's not the Testosterone, it's the societal differences.

Quote from: Tristan H. on November 08, 2009, 12:22:40 AM
Glad Sebastien could help you out. :)

I have the same fears about death. I could just go at any minute. If you ever need anyone to talk to about it, drop me a line, I'd be glad to listen.

I thought I was the only one!
Thanks  :)

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Post Merge: November 08, 2009, 11:03:12 AM

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Quote from: Arch on November 08, 2009, 03:03:54 AM
Are you going to the informed consent clinic? I hear that it takes forever to get an appointment these days.

Yes,I'm trying to get an appointment with a family wellness clinic.It's also hard to get a hold of the lady who is in charge of the program!I spoke to her once and she sent me a brochure through e-mail & told me to call her the next day to set an appointment. I called and left a message last Wednesday and have not received  a call.I tried calling again....I guess she is not at her office...

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Post Merge: November 08, 2009, 12:06:26 PM

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Quote from: Miniar on November 08, 2009, 07:54:04 AM
Also, the reason that men, statistically, have a higher risk of heart attack and so on, is because that;
a) men are more commonly found in high risk and high pay jobs (women in similar jobs now, as a result of equal rights movements, are showing similar statistics as men)
b) women "tend" to pay more attention to their diet and generally take better care of themselves

and things like that..
So, eat right, exercise, don't stress yourself, and T ain't gonna reduce your life expectancy.

It's not the Testosterone, it's the societal differences.

Thanks for the advice man.I'm definitely going to keep eating right and exercise because high blood pressure and heart condition runs in my family  :(