Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: Dana Lane on November 15, 2009, 03:48:28 PM Return to Full Version
Title: I kissed a guy
Post by: Dana Lane on November 15, 2009, 03:48:28 PM
Post by: Dana Lane on November 15, 2009, 03:48:28 PM
This may not sound like a big deal but to me it is ground breaking.
Just a bit about my past to put this in a proper perspective. I was raised in the deep south where society determined I was a male and should always think and act like one. I always found myself somewhat attracted to guys and felt really weird when that would happen. It made me feel gay which was a horrible thing at that time. I wasn't supposed to think like that! I also remember hating to feel like I was in a vulnerable position where I wasn't in control (dating and in the bedroom with women). Guys are supposed to be the ones taking charge in that area! I hated the way it made me feel when something like that would happen. I only dated women and had only one situation with a guy where I was drunk one night.
Then I found out I was a transexual woman! I found out why I haven't had a serious relationship in over 2 decades. It was because I wasn't supposed to have relationships as a guy. Once I had realized where my path is going to take me I knew it would end up where I have relationships with men. I was a bit anxious at first because this is what I was fighting my entire life. I was talking to a friend of mine who used to study psychology and has even studies some gender identity topics. I told him my story and he basically told me I needed to go to a gay bar and meet some guys and experiment a little. So Friday night I decided what the hell, here I go.
I walked in the bar feeling more comfortable than I thought I would and ordered a drink. As the night went on I had met a really nice guy who was in a current relationship. We chatted for a while and I went to check out the rest of the bar. To make a long story short towards the end of the night I was sitting by myself watching everyone (i love to watch people) and this very masculine guy with no shirt came up to me. He put his hands on the bar (one on each side of me) and stared me right in the eyes. I have never been in such a vulnerable feeling position and I LOVED IT! That was one of my biggest fears that I would not feel comfortable in that position. Anyways, he began to move closer to me and then began kissing me. I can't even begin to tell you the incredible emotions that I was going through. It felt so right. And I moved my hand up to his face and felt his rough beard and then ran my hands across his chest and along his torso. He kept trying to feel my man parts so I had to push his hand away a few times.
He came up to me hoping to use me for sex but I actually ended up using him. I really needed for something like that to happen and was amazed it happened so fast. I have been glowing all weekend about it. I overcame one of my fears and realized I am going to be A-Okay in the future.
Well, I just wanted to share that with everyone.
hugs
Just a bit about my past to put this in a proper perspective. I was raised in the deep south where society determined I was a male and should always think and act like one. I always found myself somewhat attracted to guys and felt really weird when that would happen. It made me feel gay which was a horrible thing at that time. I wasn't supposed to think like that! I also remember hating to feel like I was in a vulnerable position where I wasn't in control (dating and in the bedroom with women). Guys are supposed to be the ones taking charge in that area! I hated the way it made me feel when something like that would happen. I only dated women and had only one situation with a guy where I was drunk one night.
Then I found out I was a transexual woman! I found out why I haven't had a serious relationship in over 2 decades. It was because I wasn't supposed to have relationships as a guy. Once I had realized where my path is going to take me I knew it would end up where I have relationships with men. I was a bit anxious at first because this is what I was fighting my entire life. I was talking to a friend of mine who used to study psychology and has even studies some gender identity topics. I told him my story and he basically told me I needed to go to a gay bar and meet some guys and experiment a little. So Friday night I decided what the hell, here I go.
I walked in the bar feeling more comfortable than I thought I would and ordered a drink. As the night went on I had met a really nice guy who was in a current relationship. We chatted for a while and I went to check out the rest of the bar. To make a long story short towards the end of the night I was sitting by myself watching everyone (i love to watch people) and this very masculine guy with no shirt came up to me. He put his hands on the bar (one on each side of me) and stared me right in the eyes. I have never been in such a vulnerable feeling position and I LOVED IT! That was one of my biggest fears that I would not feel comfortable in that position. Anyways, he began to move closer to me and then began kissing me. I can't even begin to tell you the incredible emotions that I was going through. It felt so right. And I moved my hand up to his face and felt his rough beard and then ran my hands across his chest and along his torso. He kept trying to feel my man parts so I had to push his hand away a few times.
He came up to me hoping to use me for sex but I actually ended up using him. I really needed for something like that to happen and was amazed it happened so fast. I have been glowing all weekend about it. I overcame one of my fears and realized I am going to be A-Okay in the future.
Well, I just wanted to share that with everyone.
hugs
Title: Re: I kissed a guy
Post by: Hannah on November 15, 2009, 04:18:37 PM
Post by: Hannah on November 15, 2009, 04:18:37 PM
That's an amazing story Dana! What a huge step towards self acceptance and your world didn't end, I'm so happy for you.
I agree with you 100% :-*
QuoteI am going to be A-Okay in the future
I agree with you 100% :-*
Title: Re: I kissed a guy
Post by: Bellaon7 on November 15, 2009, 04:39:32 PM
Post by: Bellaon7 on November 15, 2009, 04:39:32 PM
That's hot, I don't like my guy stuff touched either.
Title: Re: I kissed a guy
Post by: Janet_Girl on November 15, 2009, 05:00:07 PM
Post by: Janet_Girl on November 15, 2009, 05:00:07 PM
Kissing is one thing, beyond that... not this girl. I am still a virgin in that regards to anything else beyond maybe a BJ. And I am probably going to remain so till after SRS.
Janet
Janet
Title: Re: I kissed a guy
Post by: gothique11 on November 15, 2009, 06:56:48 PM
Post by: gothique11 on November 15, 2009, 06:56:48 PM
Sweet, that's awesome.
As for myself, I'm so not a virgin. :o LOL
As for myself, I'm so not a virgin. :o LOL
Title: Re: I kissed a guy
Post by: Dana Lane on November 16, 2009, 07:18:42 AM
Post by: Dana Lane on November 16, 2009, 07:18:42 AM
Quote from: Becca on November 15, 2009, 04:18:37 PM
That's an amazing story Dana! What a huge step towards self acceptance and your world didn't end, I'm so happy for you.
I agree with you 100% :-*
Thank you! :-) Yea, I finally broke the barrier and can't wait to see where it goes. Must find cute guys.......
Post Merge: November 16, 2009, 07:19:21 AM
Quote from: gothique11 on November 15, 2009, 06:56:48 PM
Sweet, that's awesome.
As for myself, I'm so not a virgin. :o LOL
haha...you go girl.
Title: Re: I kissed a guy
Post by: Genevieve Swann on November 16, 2009, 09:18:55 AM
Post by: Genevieve Swann on November 16, 2009, 09:18:55 AM
Good for you. I applaud you. Maybe you will see him again.
Title: Re: I kissed a guy
Post by: lilacwoman on November 16, 2009, 10:12:42 AM
Post by: lilacwoman on November 16, 2009, 10:12:42 AM
Dana, I have to say: is it wise to swap body fluids with a gay guy?
And the fact that he immediately went for your male bits shows what your attraction to him is.
There must be bars where nicer guys can be found?
And the fact that he immediately went for your male bits shows what your attraction to him is.
There must be bars where nicer guys can be found?
Title: Re: I kissed a guy
Post by: tekla on November 16, 2009, 10:13:49 AM
Post by: tekla on November 16, 2009, 10:13:49 AM
If your looking for 'nice guys' I would not make 'bars' the starting point.
Title: Re: I kissed a guy
Post by: Dana Lane on November 16, 2009, 10:15:32 AM
Post by: Dana Lane on November 16, 2009, 10:15:32 AM
Quote from: tekla on November 16, 2009, 10:13:49 AM
If your looking for 'nice guys' I would not make 'bars' the starting point.
I wasn't looking for a nice guy. :) I actually found exactly what I wanted that night.
Title: Re: I kissed a guy
Post by: tekla on November 16, 2009, 10:17:29 AM
Post by: tekla on November 16, 2009, 10:17:29 AM
In which case 'bars' are the alpha/omega location.
Title: Re: I kissed a guy
Post by: Cyndigurl45 on November 16, 2009, 10:55:20 AM
Post by: Cyndigurl45 on November 16, 2009, 10:55:20 AM
Her first kiss how cute our little girl is growing up :) I can remember my first kiss from a man and the emotions I felt and the warm fuzzy feeling all over, sad to say I'm not a virgin anymore but that's a whole other story...
Title: Re: I kissed a guy
Post by: Dana Lane on November 16, 2009, 11:30:23 AM
Post by: Dana Lane on November 16, 2009, 11:30:23 AM
Quote from: Cyndigurl45 on November 16, 2009, 10:55:20 AM
Her first kiss how cute our little girl is growing up :) I can remember my first kiss from a man and the emotions I felt and the warm fuzzy feeling all over, sad to say I'm not a virgin anymore but that's a whole other story...
That was so cute. ;) and what is sad about not being a virgin?! I hope to be there one day.
Title: Re: I kissed a guy
Post by: Cyndigurl45 on November 16, 2009, 02:10:01 PM
Post by: Cyndigurl45 on November 16, 2009, 02:10:01 PM
Well the virgin thing is this, you only get one chance at it and unfortunately the guy that popped my cherry is long gone :(
Title: Re: I kissed a guy
Post by: pamshaw on November 16, 2009, 03:02:29 PM
Post by: pamshaw on November 16, 2009, 03:02:29 PM
Great story! I am glad you felt good about it afterward. I always thought I was only attracted to women but HRT and accepting that I am really a female has changed that. As I look and act female it felt very natural the first time I made love to a man. I really enjoyed being taken and I suspect I will only be with men after SRS.
Pam
Pam
Title: Re: I kissed a guy
Post by: jesse on November 17, 2009, 04:35:38 AM
Post by: jesse on November 17, 2009, 04:35:38 AM
this is not new territory for me but i remember the feeling unfortunately my first time with a guy was when i was 14 and he was 30 i was living in cheap hotels with what passed for parents and got picked up standing on a corner at 11 pm dont ask me why i went with him i still dont know but i did. theres a lot of water under that bridge now i guess ive always been attracted to guys but i never considered myself gay in fact if put in the dominate position with a male the act becomes repulsive to me. go figure from that point forward i resisted jessica from asserting herself and failed many times over. the cost in the end alot of wasted years the cost in the future hurt feelings of betrayal and deceit. im happy for you dana embrace it love being who you were meant to be. as for me i can feel anouther depressive episode coming on good thing i left the gun at work...
jessica
jessica
Title: Re: I kissed a guy
Post by: Dana Lane on November 17, 2009, 08:19:07 AM
Post by: Dana Lane on November 17, 2009, 08:19:07 AM
Quote from: pamshaw on November 16, 2009, 03:02:29 PM
Great story! I am glad you felt good about it afterward. I always thought I was only attracted to women but HRT and accepting that I am really a female has changed that. As I look and act female it felt very natural the first time I made love to a man. I really enjoyed being taken and I suspect I will only be with men after SRS.
Pam
Thanks for sharing that. This is a really interesting subject to me. I look forward to further experimentation! :)
Post Merge: November 17, 2009, 08:24:02 AM
Quote from: jesse on November 17, 2009, 04:35:38 AM
this is not new territory for me but i remember the feeling unfortunately my first time with a guy was when i was 14 and he was 30 i was living in cheap hotels with what passed for parents and got picked up standing on a corner at 11 pm dont ask me why i went with him i still dont know but i did. theres a lot of water under that bridge now i guess ive always been attracted to guys but i never considered myself gay in fact if put in the dominate position with a male the act becomes repulsive to me. go figure from that point forward i resisted jessica from asserting herself and failed many times over. the cost in the end alot of wasted years the cost in the future hurt feelings of betrayal and deceit. im happy for you dana embrace it love being who you were meant to be. as for me i can feel anouther depressive episode coming on good thing i left the gun at work...
jessica
I don't consider myself gay either. That is probably hard for some people to comprehend. And I am really worried about you being depressed. The first thing you should do is sell your gun. The other first thing you should do is go see a doctor for your depression. I don't know your history but these days meds can really do wonders for depression as long as they are the proper ones and are used as directed. There is no reason someone should have to suffer depression that makes them seriously consider killing themselves. Please get help and SELL YOUR GUN!
Title: Re: I kissed a guy
Post by: cynthialee on November 17, 2009, 08:41:08 AM
Post by: cynthialee on November 17, 2009, 08:41:08 AM
OMG thats so sweet. Your first kiss! God I haven't kissed a man in ohhh, say 6 years. I like men for you know what... but I do not like to kiss them. Thats the one thing I would prefer to never do again. hehe
Title: Re: I kissed a guy
Post by: NDelible Gurl on November 17, 2009, 08:58:33 AM
Post by: NDelible Gurl on November 17, 2009, 08:58:33 AM
Wow first guy kisses. I remember the first guy kiss I had. It was with a classmate in school. lol. As I got older I've always been attracted to males and that first kiss led to my first boyfriend. He's long since gone and is now married and has kids. The years after the first kiss were difficult and filled with the wrong decisions. However, things can change for the better if you do not fight who you are and get to know yourself better. I'm glad you decided to kiss that guy! I've kissed a girl before but do not feel the same physical attraction than when it's done with a man. I suspect many of us here have experimented and that is what we do to find what works and doesn't work for us. Happy second-kissing :)
Title: Re: I kissed a guy
Post by: Kimberley on November 18, 2009, 12:37:34 AM
Post by: Kimberley on November 18, 2009, 12:37:34 AM
Its is wonderful to hear that your experience was positive and helped you so much in resolving your feelings. However, please keep your guard up whilst the feeling of being taken is appealing you don't want to be in that situation with some psycho that has other ideas in mind. Always remember as a woman you will always be vulnerable to a much stronger male who has one thing in both of his heads. Try to take and keep control of the situation and let it progress the way you want it to progress at the rate of progress you want and how far it is to go.
Sorry for sounding like the No Fun Police but I don't like to see people hurt both emotionally and physically and sometimes if we let our guard down because we think it is okay with this person we are at our most vulnerable.
Sorry for sounding like the No Fun Police but I don't like to see people hurt both emotionally and physically and sometimes if we let our guard down because we think it is okay with this person we are at our most vulnerable.