Susan's Place Transgender Resources

To be completely honest, this has been one thing that's held me back from transitioning, or fully coming to terms with my ftm identity.  I know it's really shallow, but when I think about top surgery, I think, "I lucked out and got something a lot of people would find desirable [just not me - on myself] so I don't want to throw them away!"

I know this is really shallow.  Maybe it's an excuse for something else that's holding me back from transitioning.  Maybe it's just a natural attachment to my body as I know it.  That seems more in line with my usual way of thinking, but somehow it's easier to simplify it into a fear of throwing away a good set of breasts (which makes no sense whatsoever because I know there are plenty of other nice breasts out there - on women who enjoy having them).

Has anyone else gone through a similar thought process, or can relate in any way?

I don't know if I'm even doing a decent job of explaining this.

I did momentarily. I don't think I'm amazing looking as a girl or anything, but I am decent. It wasn't entirely breast related(I'm too small, lol)

But I do remember an FTM on youtube talking about how he had this issue with his own breasts. He said he realized that he liked breasts and admired them and all, but that didn't make them right on him. Not sure if that's anything like your situation but it's something to say the least.

For me, I came to the realization that I've been spending my whole life giving to others and living in this body. Why should I, when it clearly my decision and my desire, not do what will make me feel comfortable? I'm not taking anyone's chances away or anything, this is strictly all me. Transition is a selfish thing, but it doesn't make it bad. I realized that the dysphoria eventually hit me so hard that they started to look alien on me, like they didn't fit. I could almost see me, visually, without them.

If you are happy with yourself, then be yourself

Only you can decide what is best for you

I am very happy to finally have breasts. But the world does not revolve around my breasts nor does it have any interest or need to.

Only you can decide your comfort zone

This is something I've struggled with in the past, and I'm just curious about how common this type of experience is.

Now I'm at the point where I know that being myself means having a body in keeping with my identity.

When I think about T and the changes it may bring, I feel eager and excited. 

I no longer have any specific anxiety about losing my breasts.  I just have some general anxiety about medically unnecessary surgery in general (meaning anything that isn't necessary to literally save my life) coupled with anxiety about change. 

Hormones don't scare me because the changes tend to occur slowly, but surgery is so fast.  The the thought of having breats one day and no breasts the next day gives me some anxiety just because it's a major change.

I've had enough time to think and research that I know I'll feel better than I do now after surgery - once I've had time to adjust.

And fortunately, I have a lot of time to adjust and prepare before I get any surgery. 

See? You've already made your decision

We all live out life slowly one day at a time. One day death comes swiftly at anytime that none of us know

O_o

Breasts don't make a woman at all!

Don't forget you will be losing your voice, your figure, your whole apperance.
Grow facial and body hair, deeper voice, muscles, different figure.

Breasts is like.. nothing compared to the whole.

If it's just you losing breasts, I don't see what's the problem. O_o

For example, mtf won't be identified/seen as a woman just because she might have breasts.

People can easily be guys with breasts, it would be more freaky than woman.

Sometimes I find it really hard to cope with some statements related to gender/therapy here.

If you really want to keep them, you can do that, imagine your father with breasts, or I dunno, some random guy, I doubt anyone would think it's a woman.

---

Post Merge: November 22, 2009, 03:03:55 AM

---

Just make sure you know what are the tihngs you have to consider, that if you regret, you'll have hard time coming back. Some things that mtf people have problem because they had them happen without any choice, without asking.

That's deepening of the voice, which is very hard, really hard to fix. Most won't do a surgery ebcause of the risk and inconclusive effectiveness.

Body hair, facial hair, needing laser to change back.

Generally, since you are after puberty, you are not going to have (I think) any changes to the skull itself, only muscles attachments, which is enough to make you appear masculine, what mtf needs to fix with surgery.

So if you are having any doubts, make sure you know the whole deal.

Quote from: Myself on November 22, 2009, 02:57:31 AM
If you really want to keep them, you can do that, imagine your father with breasts, or I dunno, some random guy, I doubt anyone would think it's a woman.

So, your calling all MTFs freaks that could never be seen as women?

Quote from: Virginia Marie on November 22, 2009, 03:07:28 AM
So, your calling all MTFs freaks that could never be seen as women?

No, I am saying breasts alone won't identify a woman.

The face is the main thing for people to identify you as a woman, then the voice, then the body.

Edit: Imagine almost any guy you know, add breasts, it's no one will think it's a woman, they will think it is a guy with breasts.

Remove the facial hair, add hormones effects to the face, maybe facial surgery and then it will be identified as a woman by the people, by appearance.

Remove the breasts, it's still identified as a woman by people due to the face.

Quote from: Myself on November 22, 2009, 02:57:31 AM
O_o

Breasts don't make a woman at all!

Don't forget you will be losing your voice, your figure, your whole apperance.
Grow facial and body hair, deeper voice, muscles, different figure.

Breasts is like.. nothing compared to the whole.

If it's just you losing breasts, I don't see what's the problem. O_o

For example, mtf won't be identified/seen as a woman just because she might have breasts.

People can easily be guys with breasts, it would be more freaky than woman.

Sometimes I find it really hard to cope with some statements related to gender/therapy here.

If you really want to keep them, you can do that, imagine your father with breasts, or I dunno, some random guy, I doubt anyone would think it's a woman.

---

Post Merge: November 22, 2009, 02:03:55 AM

---

Just make sure you know what are the tihngs you have to consider, that if you regret, you'll have hard time coming back. Some things that mtf people have problem because they had them happen without any choice, without asking.

That's deepening of the voice, which is very hard, really hard to fix. Most won't do a surgery ebcause of the risk and inconclusive effectiveness.

Body hair, facial hair, needing laser to change back.

Generally, since you are after puberty, you are not going to have (I think) any changes to the skull itself, only muscles attachments, which is enough to make you appear masculine, what mtf needs to fix with surgery.

So if you are having any doubts, make sure you know the whole deal.

Good points.

I'm over-thinking, as usual.

For all of my life, I've known I wanted to transition at some point in the future.

I know I want a deep voice, hair, bigger muscles, changes in body fat distribution, changes in my facial structure - I'll take whatever the T brings me and I know I can't control or predict exactly what will change.

I've had enough time to think about it, I'm at the point where I know I'll have no regrets.  I've thought of myself as a boy for as long as I can remember.  If anything, maybe I'm over-eager at this point.

I just tend to over-analyze everything.  Plus, I just don't like surgery.  But I feel confident that in this case, it'll be worth it in the long run.  And if I have any uncertainty or anxiety in the future, I can put the surgery off and just bind. 

You're right - breasts don't determine gender.  Hadn't really thought of it that way.

For me, surgery somehow raises more issues than hormonal changes, which I know are actually a bigger deal in the long run.

You can bind breasts, peole reported loss of cup or two under hormones (depends on the size I guess), then again other reproted no loss I think.

You can always keep on binding until you feel comfortable you want to remove them.
If they are not all that big in a way that bothers you, you don't even have to remove them.

Many times I seen a guy with quite big breasts (seriously, sometimes really big - but I admit, it is RARE).

Usually guys start getting embarassed with they have slight breasts and seek solution, like surgery.
The 2 or 3 that I seen with qutie big ones (and I Don't mean ftm here - at least not that I know), I don't know them, just seen them at the mall or street, never talked to them, all I can say is that I saw 2 or 3 guys with quite large breasts and I know nothing more about it.

I did hear of plenty with small gyno which seeked treatment, found it embarassing, but in realtiy nobody ever noticed or never cared much.

If you are willing to go with hormones, see what happens to them, see how you feel about binding. Until you feel ready, you can wait with surgery.

Mine had to go - they were the prime dysphoria causers. I simply couldn't feel comfortable as a man at all with them. However, the way you feel about yours sounds similar to the way I feel about my downstairs area. It simply doesn't cause enough dysphoria or discomfort to warrant surgery and it doesn't affect the way I see myself.
Transition is not one-size-fits-all. It's an ala carte thing. Only take the steps necessary for you to feel at home in your own body.

Huh.  Actually, a recent ex-bf of mine had breasts that were quite feminine-looking due to a hormonal imbalance.  For him, it was a matter of correcting the medical problem that was causing the hormonal imbalance, but I definitely have seen female-type breats on a man!  (As well as plenty that didn't look so female, since men aren't required by law to wear shirts in public.)

I didn't know that T caused breast shrinkage in some people.  That's a nice thought.   :)  And a good reason to go on T well before getting top surgery. 

But I imagine it would be the mammary glands that would shrink, not the skin.

I accept that I'll get mine surgically removed.  They're unmistakably feminine, and if the mammary glands shrunk (which would probably make binding easier, yay), I'd still have to get plenty of skin removed.

Does anyone know how long a double mastectomy typically takes and how long is takes to recover, in general?  I guess it could vary a lot depending on the person's anatomy.

The procedure takes a few hours. 4 or so, I think. Took me a few weeks to recover. Depends of course. If there are complications, it's longer.

I used to be a stripper.
I used to get weekly complements of my appearance.
"are you a model?" (and stuff like that, from "everyone")
"I wish I was that tall" (from girls)

Blokes would be "all" over me..

Hubby tells me I'm pretty all the time, 'specially certain spots...

And Yeah,..
My body is "rockin'".. It's a good woman's body..
Problem is, I'm not a woman.

If brain (and soul) transplants were available, I'd eagerly give this body away to one of you girls, instead of ruining it's "pretty, girly parts".
But these things are not available.

I'll probably always feel a little bit bad about breaking a "perfectly good" body, but it doesn't fit and so it has to be adjusted.
Just like if I bought a suit and had to have this taken in, that let out, and the pants' legs lengthened (which I suppose I most certainly have to).

Selfish as it may be, I had no consideration for 'those people out there that like thier/ want a penis' when i realised i needed to be a girl.... Last thing on my mind. It's something that has upset me along with the rest of my body, and the sooner it was gone, the sooner i could be normal. I guess i am selfish ><

Yeah they can deflate on T.

But whats the point in having a "good body" if its the wrong body? I mean what if you are pretty but you are a boy >.< And if you are handsome but a girl /faints

I believe part of being happy its being comfortable on your own skin.

Quote from: The None Blonde on November 22, 2009, 09:05:30 AM
Selfish as it may be, I had no consideration for 'those people out there that like thier/ want a penis' when i realised i needed to be a girl.... Last thing on my mind. It's something that has upset me along with the rest of my body, and the sooner it was gone, the sooner i could be normal.

I don't think they would want our tiny little androgen starved estrogen shriveled bits anyway, such trades would be really unfair.

Just google the poker player Brian Zembic and you can see having "female breast" doesn't make a man appear female at all. (He was bet $100K to get C cup breast implant and keep them for a year. He did, and then decided to keep them permanently.) He doesn't struggle finding a partner either. But then, the fact that he has lots of money might have helped on that front.

QuoteI don't think they would want our tiny little androgen starved estrogen shriveled bits anyway, such trades would be really unfair.

I would thought such a trade would happen without anyone having taken hormones, because then it would had been unnecessary.

I thought a lot about this when I was getting ready for my Orchie.  But I knew that it had to happen for me to move forward.

Image is everything.  Self image that is.  Yes no one would know but I do.  And It makes a difference.  And if they are not part of your self image then they must go.  As the Red Oueen might say " Off whit the Breasts".  :P



Janet

Quote from: Miniar on November 22, 2009, 08:48:33 AMI'll probably always feel a little bit bad about breaking a "perfectly good" body, but it doesn't fit and so it has to be adjusted.
Just like if I bought a suit and had to have this taken in, that let out, and the pants' legs lengthened (which I suppose I most certainly have to).

This.

So good to know I'm not alone in having thought this way!  It made things kind of confusing for a while.

There are alot of the guys here who would take my junk in exchange for their junk, but with current tech, that ain't happening  :-\
[/quote )                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             
Its so so true, that quote, when I had my surgery I had perfectly healthy male anatomy completely removed, use to wonder if it couldnd be given to somebody who would be glad of it, I mean heart, lung and liver tranplants are possible, people get these organs all the time, Im sure there are guys here who would be glad of healthy penis and testicles, I certainly don't miss them.
I love having breasts, it makes a beautiful difference to me having a vagina, its the way I am, certainly don't miss the other junk.
p

Never really thought about it. Losing sensation for top surgery wouldn't be that great, but it wouldn't stop me. I was worried my ex would have that reaction when I told him, though. Wasn't really a big issue though  since there were so many more that I didn't know about.  ::)

For me, when I look at my breasts, I don't really see them as mine.  It's like looking at someone else's breasts.  So I don't really feel any attachment to them, and I've never felt bad about "tossing out a good pair o' tits."  They're just not my boobs to give away!  I'll be glad when I can get rid of them.

Now, I'm not attracted to girls, but I am an artist, so when I look at my own body I feel compelled to do a nude study.  ;)  Hahaha...

Quote from: Miniar on November 22, 2009, 08:48:33 AM
I'll probably always feel a little bit bad about breaking a "perfectly good" body, but it doesn't fit and so it has to be adjusted.
Just like if I bought a suit and had to have this taken in, that let out, and the pants' legs lengthened (which I suppose I most certainly have to).

Me too.  I had (and have) a pretty healthy body for my age, one that seems to work pretty well.  I was afraid to monkey with it - I might screw it up.  But I just got to the point where I had to risk screwing it up to be the real me. :P

- Kate

Yes, definitely. However, hormones have made the awful thing a shadow of its former self, and I don't miss anything whatsoever. When I consider that: there are plenty of perfectly good ______ on genetic men & women out there and one person's tissue won't be any loss; I never wanted this on me and it always felt like something foreign that was "stuck on"; I'm not getting rid of it just having unnecessary stuff removed and the rest of it reshaped; I will feel so much better when I'm properly equipped; my clothes will fit better and I won't have anything to hide in restrooms/swimming pools/yoga class/locker rooms, well, so what if a perfectly good totally inappropriate body part is going to waste. Good riddance!

Quote from: Myself on November 22, 2009, 03:11:15 AMThe face is the main thing for people to identify you as a woman, then the voice, then the body.

Hmm, dunno I'm told I pass because of my voice. My face isn't all that - my bone structure is definitely not feminine - but there have been people who were surprised when I told them I'm trans. Despite my large frame and large hands/feet. Voice will break the best appearance if it is not passable itself - consider some drag queens as examples of this. I also think body language has at least as much impact as curves/proportionsand that walking with a feminine sway can make up for small hips, for instance I didn't think I was at all passable from behind but last night in the grocery store someone behind me called me Miss. (Needless to say that was a pleasant surprise. :D )

Nothing good about what I got. Heart has trouble, lungs are damaged, liver hates drugs, and nothing in the nether regions has given me any good feelings until um,   something grew a bit.

Why keep the non worthy parts.

When I first transitioned, hysto was my main priority.  The moobs?  Not so much.  But as transition progressed, it became more important to me to have surgery.  I'm not one for surgery unless medically necessary, as I have a pretty healthy body for a guy my age.  But it became medically necessary in the psychological sense.  And I used to think no way no how would I ever EVER have grs.  And here I am scheduling a date and can't wait.

Bottom line is: do what's right for YOU not what other people think you should do, or even what others do for themselves.  This is your transition (or not) and the only one you're accountable to is yourself.  Personally I'd wait until you NEED to have surgery before having it done.  You may find your moobs aren't distressing, binding not an issue, and decide to keep them.  No right or wrong way to do it.



Jay

Quote from: LordKAT on December 19, 2009, 03:59:32 PM
Nothing good about what I got. Heart has trouble, lungs are damaged, liver hates drugs, and nothing in the nether regions has given me any good feelings until um,   something grew a bit.

Why keep the non worthy parts.

{{{HUGS}}}

I've wondered about it.  I've got a great set of chesticles, definitely one of my best features...but I'd much rather them be on someone else.  :P

Nothing will make you female if you are not inside.  Everything you talk of is physical not mental.  I would think a person would be really screwed up if he did everything to become a "woman" if he werent one  on the inside.   It is a persona more than any of the physical traits.  I have seen very beautiful women, but when they start to talk  not just voice  but what they have to say,  it doesnt take much time to  really see the inner part dissolving the outer facade.

Quote from: Virginia Marie on December 19, 2009, 07:04:07 PM
{{{HUGS}}}

Thanks

Quote from: Michelle Hayden on December 21, 2009, 12:15:48 AM
Nothing will make you female if you are not inside.  Everything you talk of is physical not mental.  I would think a person would be really screwed up if he did everything to become a "woman" if he werent one  on the inside.   It is a persona more than any of the physical traits.  I have seen very beautiful women, but when they start to talk  not just voice  but what they have to say,  it doesnt take much time to  really see the inner part dissolving the outer facade.

Just look at any FTM try to be "more female".