Susan's Place Transgender Resources

What is it about being a woman? 

Yesterday I was talking to this guy, just chattering away in Kate mode, and he starts looking at me like he's enraptured.  I keep talking but can feel myself getting all squishy inside, and I'm thinking huh?

I mean, I'm not even attracted to this guy, but just because he's looking at me all googly-eyed I'm ready to pull out the mattress.  What's that all about? >:(

- Kate

I honestly don't know... I don't analyse it, i just enjoy it, and take it as a sign that i like someone, though like doesnt have to go further if i dont want it to. Feelings and emotions are wonderful, relish them and enjoy people.

Nice, isn't it  ;D

Too bad it didn't happen more often .... too bad it didn't happen more often with guys I am attracted to! LOL!

I remember being in the cue at the supermarket last week, and I caught sight of this gorgeous guy in the next cue over... he caught me looking and we sortof embarassededly smiled at eachother... then the checkout lady got impaitent and yelled 'next please' louder than necessary to snap me out of it >< *sigh* Addonis had human form that day.... and he was carrying baked beans.

I sometimes catch guys checking out my butt ( Thank God for Padding ) and it makes me smile.  :D

I have turned around a couple of times and just smiled at them.  They could stop traffic with that red face. :icon_redface:  ;D



Janet

Well, I never expected any man to look googly-eyed at me, but I really didn't expect it to start turning me to mush.  I've been around the block a few times and I've had my shots, but this is new territory.

It's got to be the hormones. :P

- Kate

Quote from: K8 on November 22, 2009, 05:03:49 PMIt's got to be the hormones. :P

Whatever ..... ;) But whatever it is, it is pretty universal! When my girlfriend and I go out for lunch it's not uncommon for one to poke the other for "staring" ... of course sometimes we are both staring and there's no one to do the poking LOL!

It tripped me out to have guys look at me like that at first. But that's just what guys do

But yeah, what tripped me out more was that "squishy" feeling inside myself

I didn't expect to have that type of reaction and allot of questions about myself started popping into my mind

I miss Blockbuster Boy %)-

Oh yeah, theres this guy that is part of the Door staff at the students union... he always seems to be working the same events as me... Whenever i go outside for a cigarette hes usually on the smoking area, we always chat... hes kinda cute....

Oh geez. Girls we hit the nail on the head here! I am really just in awe of this guy in my class. He's not the most attractive guy in the world but his demeanor and intelligence rolled into one sends chills up my spine!

I love that feeling :)

Quote from: K8 on November 22, 2009, 05:03:49 PM
Well, I never expected any man to look googly-eyed at me, but I really didn't expect it to start turning me to mush.  I've been around the block a few times and I've had my shots, but this is new territory.

It's got to be the hormones. :P

Historically, if women didn't get that mushy internal feeling, they wouldn't sleep with the big lummoxes, and the human race would stop dead in its tracks.

It's the equivalent of what happens to parents when they have a baby. That squishy parental feeling that keeps them from drowning the thing at birth.

Geez, I can't believe I'm on this thread. It wasn't what the subject line made me expect, and here I am posting, too. I'm starting to want a boyfriend BAD. (Sorry for the bad grammar.) I wonder if I'll still get the same feelings if I ever do meet a cool guy? Or will I just be focused on the nads? That's not how I want to live...

(K8, you really rock my boat.)

Hormones definitely affect your response to sexual stimuli. I remember the first time I was watching James Spader as Alan Shore on Boston Legal make a particularly impassioned closing argument and I got all fluttery and gooey in my tummy and I was like, OMG! he's totally turning me on! Some of the guys here do that to me too lol :icon_redface:

Quote from: Arch on November 23, 2009, 01:16:51 AM... if women didn't get that mushy internal feeling, they wouldn't sleep with the big lummoxes ....That squishy parental feeling that keeps them from drowning the thing at birth.

ROFLMAO! thanks Arch for a really good laugh to start the day! There is some truth to what you say!  ;D

All of a sudden there were a few instances where my brain was like, "Oh btw... Dicks! LOL!"

And it kinda messed with me for a while, hahahaha...

But I've really learned that even though I call myself "Pansexual", its because I'm really attracted to a girl because of how they think... Yet I find it more and more appealing in my head... ANd really the only legitimate feeling thing to be penetrated. So... I'm not gay, straight, pan.... Its hard to explain cause I DO have specific tastes. People with a more mental gender need to be a freaking great exception (maybe an FtM or that singer from the PIllows).... But the point is that now my brain really really likes that whole phallic "Fill you up to be complete" BS, but I still connect with girls better or at least people who have experienced a full range of feelings. They have to be pretty domme too, or at least willing to be usually cause I've always been epic failure as a top my whole life. But now that I think about it, if I really loved and felt comfortable with the person I would top them just for fun...

Its like halloween. I want a BASE to work from that I'm comfortable with. That doesn't mean I'm not opposed to a different adventure sometimes... Its the whole point of deviating. I just need solid ground to bounce off of.

So I started getting these girly feelings like CRAZY about 8 months ago. They got more and more "Callibrated" and ingrained in me, and now body parts that are external FEEL like they're internal. Not to mention my body is attempting to morph itself best it can to turn my boyish parts into what they should be. The whole line on the back thing and whatnot. It looks and FEELS like the outer part of a vagina. I dk why I could know what one FEELS like but my brain sure believes it without me willing it to... So I just accept it now.

So basically... Progesterone gave me that too when I first started it. I'm thinking of cycling eventually with my hormones (Injected), cause that would seem more effective for this puberty and for the experiences I want before I die. I keep getting tastes of them for like... 30 seconds at a time, and wow...

Sometimes I do get tingly. It was more when I shifted dosage or was more healthy. I guess I'm less of a "get mushy in public" person now cause I'm just so tired and sleep deprived and hungry... But when my friend walks into my class and slaps my ass when the teacher isn't looking I do kind of yelp and my brain goes, "O_O" For a split second. Its part that I don't remember that I HAVE an ass to begin with cause I've always been so skinny and I think now though that its part what this thread describes. I like dominant girls, at least sexually, and WHOA does that distract me. My body is like me... It wants to do something thats freaking impossible, and it knows its impossible but its freaking doing it ANYWAY. :D Like having babies....


Sometimes I feel all vulnerable and freaked out when I walk down the street though and places alone...

And then I remember... "Wait? ... I can't even get pregnant? And I carry art blades?"

These things are both my savior and downfall... I love curling up or cuddling... But then it will backfire and turn on me and I'll be the angsty stereotype hugging the pillow just to fall asleep thinking of the person I love.


So I guess I'm mentally 14 now. D:

Good thing I hate Twilight. That makes me feel a lot more confidenct in my control over this XD !

Hi Kate
Boys will be boys.
I had some guy checking out my boobs, he couldn't take his eyes off me. It made me very strange.
Sarah

Quote from: Arch on November 23, 2009, 01:16:51 AM
(K8, you really rock my boat.)

Well, y'know Arch, when we both get fixed up... (where's that darn flirty-eyebrow icon?)

- Kate

Yeah, I think the hormones light up parts of your brain that were dormant under T.  And vice versa for the guys here.  For example, check out our respective libidos when T is removed or added.  Theres a LOT more to it than just that, it was just an example.

I find I am very intrigued by the *idea* of guys, which I never ever had before.  And when some guy hits on me, I am flattered more than anything else, but that fluttery feeling is there somewhere.  But most men that I find are really not up to my intellectual standards.  (I know, what was I expecting to find in a bar?  Einstein?)  So they are mostly in the FFFF class if you get my drift.

But, oh wow, when I get a chance to touch rock hard abs with manfur on it or a butt with no give I get, uh, positively gooey!  And that thingy in front isn't really on my menu, but I know that is who is driving so I sometimes pay it heed.

I still love doing liplock with girls, thats for sure!  But guys are getting to be *special*.

I guess that makes me bi as far as sexual orientation goes, but I always want to wake up with my partner.  That is who I truly love.

Enjoy the ride, Kate, it's one hell of a roller coaster!

-Sandy(did I really type that?!?!?)

Quote from: K8 on November 23, 2009, 07:38:34 AM
Well, y'know Arch, when we both get fixed up... (where's that darn flirty-eyebrow icon?)

Sigh. You know that if I ever do get fixed up--and I might--I'll just go and waste it on some "lummox." Women like you make we wish I could swing the other way as well.

Every once in a while, I get tired of being gay. And I wonder how that can be. I've always been gay in my head, and I fought so hard to be gay. It defines me so totally. When I came out of the closet last summer, I didn't say to myself, "I'm trans!"; I said, "I'm gay! I'm a gay man!"

I know what it's like, as a person in a female body ruled by female hormones, to get all charged up over a straight man. I still don't know what it's like, in this modified, T-saturated body, to get all charged up over a gay man. Sometimes I wonder if it will happen. 'Cause if it does, he's almost certain not to want a monster like me.

But you know what? I just wish I could find out what it feels like for me, as I am now, to have that attraction, even if just for a few minutes at the grocery checkout.

surely, if we TS are TS its because we have the bit of female brain? then as soon as we start hormones that bit will switch on and give us a typically female puberty? During which we will be as appearance and clothes crazy as the teen girls and get romantic feelings that will confuse us - isn't this the stuff of teen girl magazines?  I actually think that those so-called transsexuals who don't get the second puberty and don't act like a teen girl are not TS and lack the bit of female brain that the researchers find at autopsy.

I definitely go thru the teenage flush when I see a good looking guy.  But guys don't seem to interested in this old teenager.  ::)

And I get to feeling vulnerable if they do seem interested.  So here I sit in front of this stupid computer, chatting to all of you.



Janet

During which we will be as appearance and clothes crazy as the teen girls and get romantic feelings that will confuse us - isn't this the stuff of teen girl magazines?

At least its the dreams of the people who advertise in such mags.  I think that is a stereotype image, one promoted for product sales, that, like most such images, does not match the reality.  For every clothes crazy girl you see in the mall, there are a couple more working hard on what interests them (not boys), and a few more (lots) who perhaps wish they could be at the mall, but they need to work instead.

Quote from: Tasha Elizabeth on November 23, 2009, 09:21:27 AM
arch:  youre not a monster.  although i have called myself worse, its not true. 

kara-xen:  i know what you mean about the being weirded out and feeling vulnerable at times.....my friend tells me "omg you were in special forces for god's sake, and now you are scared of your own shadow!"

Yeah! And I was afraid of the dark for a while as a kid... Like I'd run through it to get back into the house or something if I were alone. With people was different. But I conquered it when I was 16, and would just wander alone ALL over my town at abandoned 3 in the morning... I'd play spy and watch drug deals of rich kids taking palce at the beach club... I'd run from cops JUST FOR FUN cause they thought all teens were up to no good...

And they never caught me.

We'd mess up the golf course every time they would yell at us, "->-bleeped-<-s!" From their carts during the day.

So we had "Man"Hunt, adventures, smoking weed in the middle of nowhere near the train tracks, and looking at the stars on the shack of the abandoned mansion area. Its essentially a plateau next to the beach club that had A. A bomb shelter B. Some of us saw paranormal phenomenon and C. Just a roof is awesome to chill on. There was also a mud pile to jump off the roof to. We played king of the hill and shoot "Psi energy" at each other. Sometimes I feel like it worked, others not.... No time to indulge in these anymore. It was a group of friends that were mostly broken apart...


But the point is is that I never was afraid of the dark at that time. I WAS The dark. I would get so little sleep that I'd go into the bathroom, turn the light off, and let it caress me like a blanket.


So I had to walk home alone after midnight once (I live in a Stepford town believe it or not from what I've just said)... And the short cut path that we would go on to avoid the main road and douchey cops... It was a dark TUNNEL. Pitch black. That sometimes happened in the area. Certain areas of tree cover would do that. So I came to this crossroads, a year on HRT...

And I was too scared to frequent the path I'd ALWAYS taken... The black hole wasn't my thing to swim in... Maybe my male construct just protected me by being a buffer and loving the dark. I got an adrenaline rush that night anyway (Was kicked out of moms house that night after a fit of rage), but the sweet sweet darkness. The poetic thing that maybe even... For all I know... Gave me a melotonin orgasm the second I entered it...


It scares me now again.... I'm a weakling now. An emotionally 14 wimpy, frail girl at my deepest level. Maybe thats cause i like it and want to cherish these feelings... Maybe I know that deep down the scared "Newly hatched" me, neglected and getting ice cream for the first time in her life, metaphorically speaking... She's just gonna turn out like a middle ground between all of my characters and selves anyway. A post apocalyptic, nerdy, anarchistic, hedonistic, dykey, genderqueer person who embraces the inner chaos and angst and more importantly the sweet sweet darkness because it was a part of me to begin with?

People say I overthink myself... But I think I underthink it...

Because a strong mind is a harmonized one. Hence why some people (Like me) do alcohol sometimes, and weed, and love every second of it... Cause I'm me, and no one else. I'm the median between all of them.


So I'm currently afraid of the dark, but speculating if I'll ever have a reunion with its literal shadows, its beauty and its other quantities the way I "taste em" in my brain.

But for now I feel 14... So I'm acting accordingly... Regardless of the amount of hell I'm going through at the moment (Not as bad... But autoimmune is going to suck)... And I want to maybe cherish this angsty, STUPID, evolutionary piece of crap for what it is. Being human is in accepting your weakness and loving it or something dumb like that... And I'd at least like to experience it right? Before gene therapy becomes possible and I escape this family tree, this race, this organism, micro and macrocosm called Mother Earth...

And Not be like Sephiroth, nah... I would probably leave for a while... Dr. Manhattan? Yes. That with tits maybe. Hopefully with the one I love if that ever works out (Hope hope hope hope, yearn, angst explosions)

Guys don't care if you have a boyfriend, they only care if you have about five to seven minutes to spare. 

Quote from: tekla on November 23, 2009, 07:23:23 PM
Guys don't care if you have a boyfriend, they only care if you have about five to seven minutes to spare.

Not ALL Guys... Whoa.

OK, 99% of men.  and hey, a bagel and a cup of coffee for a BJ?  Hell, I'd take that deal any day.  (not on the bagel end though)

What kind of bagel?



Janet

For you, I'd splurge the extra ten cents and get the onion one.

And creme cheese?  Be nice, young man.



Janet

Cream Cheese?  Yah, sure.  Hell, I'll even get you a beer from our special selection in the crew room - long as your going to be there anyway.

Beer?  HUM...........................



Janet

->-bleeped-<-s, Bagels and Beer.....  :laugh: >:-) :laugh:

Gee, sounds like quite the date..... Your such a charmer  :P

I always like to put my good points out front, before they get to my personality.

Now if you weren't there or I wasn't here...........................



Janet

I'm not even here, which is sadder.  I'm at work.  Have been for the past 14 days. 

/ life sucks
// checks are great

Ah Poor Baby.  But it is nice to have money.  ;)



Janet

I make about 60% of my annual income between Sept 1 and December 31. Snoop Dogg, Insane Clown Posse, Ray Davis, Hatebreed.  Bring 'em on, I just cash the checks.

HUM......... Coffee, Onion Bagel, Creme Cheese, Beer, Money and gone for four months.  Sounds like a match made in heaven.  ::)



Janet

I have to confess that I never got it either.  What with my sparkling personality and sunny outlook on life why my ex or my current GF hated me being gone for weeks at a time.  Perhaps they didn't trust who I was with.  Who knew that popular entertainers and the crew sluts that follow them hoping against hope to wrap their lips around that all too famous shaft were bad people?

But I learned my lesson.  Use extra money to by GF bling.  It works.

Oh Well it was worth a shot.  I do like bagels and Creme Cheese.



Janet

And my GF like diamonds.  Had I met you first I'd have an extra house.

Oh I like Diamonds.  But I like a comfortable home more.



Janet

Ohhh, two young people falling in then out of love in the course of a bagel bribe. 

Janet, thank you for your reports on your progress; Tekla, beautiful pictures on your link, just wonderful. 

Back to the Post subject for a moment before I wonder off again:  Being a Woman is about everything, it is the correct side of being human, it is the bad with the good, it is what should be (for me), and hopefully will be - IMO of course.  I have had trouble understanding even accepting the reverse, my failure, but am doing so much more since actually conversing with everyone here, to my benefit.

SusanKG

Flirting, even harmlessly, is part of being a woman.  It is fun, and how know it could lead to something more.

I enjoy the freedom, that I have found being a woman, that allows me to flirt.  I never could before, because I was hiding this secret that I was really a woman.  Now I can flirt.  What I would do if I ever caught a man, I have no idea, but it would be fun to find out.



Janet

What I would do if I ever caught a man, I have no idea

Might as well 'kill 'em and grill 'em' turns out they are damn hard to domesticate.

Quotethey are damn hard to domesticate.

Truer Words were never spoken.  But it might be fun trying.



Janet

9 out of every 8 divorce cases says otherwise. 

It's kinda like putting a ferret or weasel down your pants.  Sure, it seems like good fun at the moment, but when you find out your pants legs are tied up and it can't get out, the fifth trip across your privates is six trips too many.

Well being I have been married three times, all be it as a male, that could be true.
But it is said that you can tell a happily married man by the words he says.  "Yes Dear"'



Janet

Quote from: Kara-Xen on November 23, 2009, 04:09:46 PM
Maybe my male construct just protected me by being a buffer and loving the dark.

I seem to keep finding similarities between you and I, Kara-Xen. . .

I can't even imagine what I'll be like in the future, given I'm still a ways off from hormones. I've been exceptionally emotionally sensitive for what seems like my whole life, and recently (the last year or so) I've been getting that "squishy" feeling with guys.

The extraction of two wisdom teeth last month was made a little more pleasant by the presence of an oral surgeon with the most surprisingly warm ice-blue eyes I'd ever seen. I'm feeling fluttery just thinking about them.  :laugh:

Don't expect to 'change' guys.... Hormones wont change who you are, your personality, your temperment... some likes and dislikes 'broaden' rather than 'change', the darkness thing is a vulerability thing, it happens, you learn to get over it.  Transition changes the physical you more than the mental you, and if i were you, i'd hold onto the mental me with both hands... its all you've got constant in the world....

Quote from: The None Blonde on November 24, 2009, 04:14:51 AM
Don't expect to 'change' guys.... Hormones wont change who you are, your personality, your temperment... some likes and dislikes 'broaden' rather than 'change', the darkness thing is a vulerability thing, it happens, you learn to get over it.  Transition changes the physical you more than the mental you, and if i were you, i'd hold onto the mental me with both hands... its all you've got constant in the world....

I agree mostly apart from the 'transition changes the physical you'  bit...which in a lot of cases it doesn't unfortunitely.

First off, I'm not sure anyone was talking about marriage.  We were talking about a few hours of fun and then g'bye.  (Or, for those with a short attention span, five minutes of fun. :P)

Second, I think that transition does change you.  I don't know if it is the hormones or how you see yourself or how you fit into the world or the freedom of finally being yourself (probably all of the above), but I am not the same person I was a year ago. 

Your past forms you, but the present molds you.  One of the Buddhist tenets is that you are not the same person you were at age five and not the same person you were five minutes ago.  Upon realizing that you can move forward.

I look at old pictures of myself and realize I am not that person.  He became the person I am now, but he is not me.

For me, the non-physical changes – the social, emotional, psychological, and personality changes – are far more important than the physical changes I've achieved so far.

Just my 2 pence.

- Kate

Naturally Blonde: If transition doesnt change you physically to some extent, you didn't transition :P Hormones another matter.

K8: you miss the point... LIFE changes us, anyone looking back a year sees a different person to the way they are now, for some of us, its just more pronounced for a while...

Transition doesnt change you. You transition so you don't have to change. Some here seem to be confusing 'behaviour' with 'personality'.

Quote from: tekla on November 23, 2009, 07:34:34 PM
OK, 99% of men.  and hey, a bagel and a cup of coffee for a BJ?  Hell, I'd take that deal any day.  (not on the bagel end though)

What about the WHY part though. I think that matters...

Testosterone makes people into totally horrible people sometimes, even beyond their will...

Just like Estrogen makes me weak without my choice.


Is it really any different?

Quote from: The None Blonde on November 24, 2009, 10:10:53 AM
K8: you miss the point... LIFE changes us, anyone looking back a year sees a different person to the way they are now, for some of us, its just more pronounced for a while...

Transition doesnt change you. You transition so you don't have to change. Some here seem to be confusing 'behaviour' with 'personality'.

You are right, of course.  Life changes you.  Going to school, getting a job, partnering with someone, even talking to a stranger – all will change you in ways large and small.  I see transitioning as a major life event, and as such it will make a huge difference in how I live my life.

I guess I am missing the point.  I don't see how I could stay the same by transitioning but change by not transitioning.  I lived 65 years trying to be a boy and then a man, pretending I fit into the social structure imposed because I was thought to be male – not transitioning.  Now I've stopped trying and am just a woman.  I don't see how if I continued trying for another 65 years I would change but by no longer trying to fit I wouldn't change.  Perhaps you mean that I am finally letting my inner self come out.  But I think that by doing that I am changing, and it is the act of transitioning that makes those changes.

My behavior has changed, yes, but I think my personality has, too.  I am the new and improved version of the person I was, so in that sense I didn't change.  But instead of being introverted, I am extroverted; instead of being shy, I am friendly; instead of being quiet, I am very talkative; instead of being repressed, I am bold; instead of being a loner, I am very social, etc.  If that isn't a change in personality, then you are right in that I don't know the difference between behavior and personality.

The difference between me now and a year ago is far greater than between me a year a go and two years ago.  During the last year I have finally found myself and begun transition.

- Kate

I didn't say one wouldn't change, just that one changes irespective of transition.... if one doesnt, i'd be concerned. The simple fact is, that Transition should make us fit in better, thus being easy, and allow us to express who we are really... not change into someone else on the flip of a dime... Change will happen, but its a dynamic life long process, and I'm perfectly happy to say that my personality is the same as before transition, I've always been me, but me grows.

NB: I'm sorry I misinterpreted what you said.  I think we have both said that life changes one.  I think one of the points I was trying to make is that transition - like any major life event - will create a larger change than what happens during a steady state. 

Yes, I too, have always been me, but the growth spurt I've experienced with transition has been enormous, very welcome to me, and very obvious to my friends.  And for me, it has been that growth more than the growth of my breasts that has been so very important to me.

- Kate

Transition "obviously" changes who you are.
It's a powerful experience that changes your hormonal balance, appearance, the reactions you get from your surroundings and so on.
If we say that who we are is biological, then the hormonal changes of transition changes who we are. If we say that who we are is the sum of our experiences, then transition changes who we are. (Personally, I believe that who we are is biological and sum of experience combined, topped off with just a little touch of "spiritual" influence from our soul.) Either way, transition changes you.

You would have changed some way anyway, but nothing can change you exactly the same as transition will change you.

We change all the time. I will not be the exact same man tomorrow as I was when I woke up yesterday.

Our personality stays the same in it's principle components, but these components are reactionary. When we change who we are and how our surroundings react to us, we change which aspects of our personality are the strongest.
It doesn't "change" our personality's components themselves, but it changes our personality in it's expression.

A bubbly, giggly girl, will thus be, far more bubbly and giggly when her surroundings allow her to be a girl. etc.. etc..

As has been said, transition is something that happens to you AND those who touch your life.

That came to me today as I was being fitted for my costume(s) in Rumpelstiltskin.

I'm a big framed woman and fitting me is a bit of a trick.  The costume lady knew me from before and I was struck by how much more work she has to do now to fit me.  Before I was an average sized guy so finding a costume was pretty straight forward.  Now she has to find the biggest dresses then add or modify to fit my frame and my *boobage* as she puts it.  (well they are big)

She is good natured about it and most professional and accepting.  But I am a little embarrassed that she has to do more work on my costume than just about anyone else's.

So transition is a change for just about everyone.  And it affects people in ways that could never have been foreseen.

Just an interesting observation.

-Sandy

I always felt I was female from the age of 4 and HRT hasn't changed my perception. I didn't ever fit in with boys or their interests and by the time I was 13 I looked like a teenage girl. It wasn't until I got into my 30's that I started to look male which really used to upset me.

I've tried since then to erradicate the problem and I do feel happier now knowing I'm back on track and percieved as female again.

Hi Kate
Happy hunting! Tread softly.
Sarah

I'm so looking forward to being treated like the lady that I am by a good and honest man.  I've already waited much too long.  I'm now one those people figuratively carrying the proverbial hitchhiker's travel sign: WOMAN OR BUST!

XX,
Rachel

Quote from: sarahF on November 25, 2009, 08:24:09 AM
Hi Kate
Happy hunting! Tread softly.
Sarah

Thanks, Sarah.  So far it is like I'm just sitting in a blind and the game has been coming to me. :)  When I get my confidence up a little I'll start actually looking for it.

And Rachel, if I ever hunt down a good and honest man I will feel like I've accomplished something rare.

- Kate

Quote from: K8 on November 25, 2009, 08:39:16 AM
Thanks, Sarah.  So far it is like I'm just sitting in a blind and the game has been coming to me. :)  When I get my confidence up a little I'll start actually looking for it.

And Rachel, if I ever hunt down a good and honest man I will feel like I've accomplished something rare.

- Kate

I know... but we have to believe in fairy tales in order to have the will to live and see each new day.  Right?  I'd be dead already if I couldn't dream of a better life. . . .

Love,
Rachel

I like the fairy tales. There's a certain desire to be literally swept off my feet by a smart, interested, caring, responsible, and good looking (doesn't hurt) man :)

Like K8 my confidence is a little shot now so I'm almost just thinking "if it happens it happens."

lol Women or Bust??? That's me these last couple of months now :)

Quote from: Mia B on November 25, 2009, 08:59:20 AM
I like the fairy tales. There's a certain desire to be literally swept off my feet by a smart, interested, caring, responsible, and good looking (doesn't hurt) man :)

Like K8 my confidence is a little shot now so I'm almost just thinking "if it happens it happens."

lol Women or Bust??? That's me these last couple of months now :)

Mia- You look beautiful in your avatar pic; I don't think it will be difficult for you to have a good man find you.  But... I guess you've got to get out there and be seen for it to happen. :)

I start hormones in seven days, so I've still got awhile before I can be "seen".... *shrugs*

XX,
Rachel

Quote from: tekla on November 23, 2009, 09:18:42 PM
Might as well 'kill 'em and grill 'em' turns out they are damn hard to domesticate.

Well, they say that if it has tires or testicles, sooner or later they'll give you problems...

-Sandy

Sandy
that is realy good.  I'll keep it in mind
Sarah

Quote from: Sandy on November 26, 2009, 10:56:40 AM
Well, they say that if it has tires or testicles, sooner or later they'll give you problems...

-Sandy

*sigh* I guess since transmen have no testicles, We must be your dream men.


I'd   take the real thing if I could tho.  I told a person where I live that women are weird. She said, "All I know is men get loony with a full moon."  Needless to say, battle of the sexes was on.  She got evicted a bit ago so it ended now.

Even if they have no testicles they still have "T".  A remote and sports.  So they still need training.  And you can't flirt with them because they are all taken.  ::)



Janet

Well, they say that if it has tires or testicles, sooner or later they'll give you problems...

Congratulations.  You're not just as sexist as the guys I work with who say "never trust anything that can bleed five days a month and not die."

Quote from: tekla on November 26, 2009, 01:47:46 PM
Congratulations.  You're not just as sexist as the guys I work with who say "never trust anything that can bleed five days a month and not die."

I kind of liked that one...

-Sandy

Quote from: tekla on November 26, 2009, 01:47:46 PM
Well, they say that if it has tires or testicles, sooner or later they'll give you problems...

Congratulations.  You're not just as sexist as the guys I work with who say "never trust anything that can bleed five days a month and not die."

Its not sexism for sexism's sake... these sort of comments, from either side of the fence are not meant to put down the other sex... they are simply camaradre things.... We women make comments and jokes about men to eachother... its a girl thing... guys do it about girls... a guy thing.... the battle of the sexes is never ending... and as long as its said with a smile on your face, and in understanding company, theres no harm. When it becomes malicious, it has no place.

when I was in male mode and a nice guy -nice for me is a nice friendly face with twinkly alive eyes above a reasonably fit body - noticed I was looking at him he would get that angry aggressive look that told me he thought I was gay.
Now I'm fully transitioned I can admire openly and see a flicker of pleasure as the guy realises I think he's cute. 
Now all I gotta do is get rid of the male bit but at doctors this morning he said I have been set back to middle of next year.

Quote from: The None Blonde on November 24, 2009, 04:14:51 AM
Hormones wont change who you are, your personality, your temperment...

On the contrary, I feel that my personality has changed quite a lot since I started HRT. I'm sure that some of these changes are due to the whole transition experience, but hormones have a powerful effect on the brain. Before HRT, I told my then-partner that I would still be the same person. After HRT, we are both finding out that while I still have the same basic character, my personality has changed a lot. He doesn't like it much. I do.

Quote from: Miniar on November 24, 2009, 06:54:09 PM
Transition "obviously" changes who you are.
It's a powerful experience that changes your hormonal balance, appearance, the reactions you get from your surroundings and so on.
If we say that who we are is biological, then the hormonal changes of transition changes who we are. If we say that who we are is the sum of our experiences, then transition changes who we are. (Personally, I believe that who we are is biological and sum of experience combined, topped off with just a little touch of "spiritual" influence from our soul.) Either way, transition changes you.

You would have changed some way anyway, but nothing can change you exactly the same as transition will change you.

We change all the time. I will not be the exact same man tomorrow as I was when I woke up yesterday.

Our personality stays the same in it's principle components, but these components are reactionary. When we change who we are and how our surroundings react to us, we change which aspects of our personality are the strongest.
It doesn't "change" our personality's components themselves, but it changes our personality in it's expression.

A bubbly, giggly girl, will thus be, far more bubbly and giggly when her surroundings allow her to be a girl. etc.. etc..

Yeah... I may have changed a lot but the "He" part still engages autopilot whenever I'm in a place thats too much for the real side to handle... Yet if I'm either tripping or in an environment where its NOT BS, and not only accepting, but a place where they DO see it, and aren't the type of people to look at my old license and say, "Sorry hun... You were hot as a boy," And other things like that, or still treat me like a guy.... My brain just kind of glitched out there.


But the point is is that environment is a large factor for me. I'm more her if I'm talking to my one distant friend on the phone, much more, than lets say... When I'm in class or most public places. Its hard to really let yourself flow out right if you are constantly aware that most people around you will NEVER truly see you the way you are inside. Like in public.... I either try my hardest to, "Be a girl," With my mannerisms, and I fail just as much as I do when I'm acting all grunty like a boy. I'll go back and forth depending on how motivated I feel... Yet I still fail both ways. Its when I'm sleep deprived and have facial stubble, ironically, that I pass at least for a few seconds... Statistically speaking... But I'll get so many problems in these environments and I'll realize I'm not acting like myself and it will sometimes get to me. Like, "That wasn't me talking like that... That was just autopilot and random data. Crap."

Yet I'll go to my local transman friends house, and I KNOW he takes me seriously. I know he sees it in me and isn't effing lying just to be nice... And he doesn't say stuff that hurts unless we're both on that topic in which case we both laugh about it instead. I'll act more like myself around him, and I get more "Bubbly" near him. Not bubbly in the sense of feeling like he's hot, but just how I would act normally and should act. Brain hurts... Hard to articulate my speak correctly (another allergic attack last night... I ended up taking liquid benedryl and hitting a pipe like twice to relax the muscles. Pipe sounds like a bad idea, but it stopped my esophagus from convulsing, so it was obviously a good thing. It went away, but I was and still am, understandably exhausted. Benedryl messes me up longer than it should. It'll stay in my system for a day at least and I'll just feel groggy. Plus I'm still in slight pain from the attack... So I'm sorry if I sound STUPID)


So I do act more "Bubbly" around him, and when I'm talking to my distant person I love. I'm starting to get better with the public thing, but its NEVER easy even if I"m fulltime. Guess I should give it time considering I've only been "Fulltime" less than six months. Been on HRT for a longer time... So I'm more used to that... RELATIVELY. Emotions are not new to me cause I cried a lot of my adolescence, but its ironically my pubescent minds feelings of "Vulnerability", and raw weakness that add to my anxiety and make him come out and me not pass...


Sorry... Ranty.... Thread continue (Goes back to sleep)

That's really interesting, Kara.  My experience is almost the opposite.  It's when I completely relax and just be myself that I seem to do the best.  I've had two different women friends comment on the fact that I walk like a woman and both times I wasn't paying attention to how I was walking.  I don't think I pass all the time, but I know I pass sometimes.  Most of the time I can't tell.

In the beginning I had to work at it – the walk, the mannerisms, the speech, the voice.  Now most of the time I just go about my daily business, don't think about it much and don't care one way or another.  Many people in town know me or recognize me from before, but I'm just Kate now and they treat me as Kate.  I've been full-time almost seven months.

I wonder if my age helps.  When I was in college the first time (after high school), I was not well formed as a person.  The gender issues played a part, but part of it was my age.  I have some acquaintances/friends who are around 20, but most of the people I deal with are in the 30-70 range, which is a different population than college-age.

Hope you're feeling better, dear.

- Kate

Quote from: Kara-Xen on November 28, 2009, 06:40:45 AM
Brain hurts... Hard to articulate my speak correctly (another allergic attack last night... I ended up taking liquid benedryl and hitting a pipe like twice to relax the muscles. Pipe sounds like a bad idea, but it stopped my esophagus from convulsing, so it was obviously a good thing. It went away, but I was and still am, understandably exhausted. Benedryl messes me up longer than it should. It'll stay in my system for a day at least and I'll just feel groggy.

Kara, are you familiar with the synergistic effect (http://msds.chem.ox.ac.uk/glossary/synergistic_effect.html)? Do you regularly have something else in your system when you take Benedryl or just this one time?

Quote from: MissAshley on November 29, 2009, 10:25:47 PM
Kara, are you familiar with the synergistic effect (http://msds.chem.ox.ac.uk/glossary/synergistic_effect.html)? Do you regularly have something else in your system when you take Benedryl or just this one time?

I know it... It doesn't matter cause benedryl in any large quantity (what I need for an emergency) tends to stay in my system for a day or two. It really does... It should get out of me faster and most people don't seem to have that problem, but I get it from even a normal dose. I mean... I had 1 and a half teaspoons of the liquid Benedryl, and my ignition didn't work for a couple of days... Probably also because my insides were even more damaged, and my stupid body tried to heal it, which is useless considering how acidic it is.

Sometimes I risk myself and I don't take benedryl, but then I'm in constant pain that comes back and forth for the next 4 hours, and my insides churn up acid and attack... I do that because I know the only thing that works knocks me right out. Sometimes I like having a mind to think with, but I decided against it that time cause I don't want to die of an attack and because It just HURT... So much. SO much.

Re: What Is It About Being a Woman?

Mentally I've always been a woman but physically I haven't got there yet!

I've always loved Fred Astaire – his style, his grace, his wonderful rhythmic sense.  I haven't heard a recording of him for I while, so this morning I put on a CD of him singing.

Within the first 8 bars I could feel my insides turning to mush.  This never happened before.  It's got to be the hormones.

I'm getting so I really love all aspects of being a woman! :D

- Kate

Feeling more exposed than I ever have in real life when I got an F on my wrist tag for the barium swallow I just had to have...

being in a practically see-through gown while being radiologically imaged in a sketchy hospital, in the womens section... When I haven't had SRS.


I felt exposed on not just trans levels, but normal ones too. And I had smoked that morning. I have written the whole story down and its... Its like a crazy vivid dream. Surely something you could make a movie about.

I felt so exposed and so..... Ughhhh.

Especially when they put you in positions to image you better, and one of them was "Lie down on your front"
"Like this? Like a dead person?"
"hahah. Yes"


What I wanted to say, was rape victim. That came to mind especially as the white, pastey imaging dye was dribbling out of my mouth onto the table..

Then I felt briefly like Bishop from Alien.

The rest was a taxi cab rip off.

The end.


WOMANHOOD! F*&K YEAH

Hmm what an odd question, and I'm not sure of an answer.  I'm very very happy as a woman.  I'm a girly girl on so many levels and I'm free to express it. :) 

Oh, your story was about a boy.  I get butterflies in my stomach around boys.  And it doesn't feel like nervousness.   It feels like I am hormonal and I am reacting to their scent.  Seriously.  That's how primal it feels.  Not even like a crush.  I'm just next to him and I need to procreate with him (if I could, lol)  Isn't that funny?  Although it's annoying because I don't want to be all bashful yet flirty when I need to just have a regular convo with the guy.  Lol.  Cologne gets me especially, I forget everything I was doing and just focus on it and get all mushy inside and wanna tell him I love him.  HAHA.

Yeah maybe I'm weird. :(

Quote from: Maiden on December 06, 2009, 01:14:07 AM
Hmm what an odd question, and I'm not sure of an answer.  I'm very very happy as a woman.  I'm a girly girl on so many levels and I'm free to express it. :) 

Oh, your story was about a boy.  I get butterflies in my stomach around boys.  And it doesn't feel like nervousness.   It feels like I am hormonal and I am reacting to their scent.  Seriously.  That's how primal it feels.  Not even like a crush.  I'm just next to him and I need to procreate with him (if I could, lol)  Isn't that funny?  Although it's annoying because I don't want to be all bashful yet flirty when I need to just have a regular convo with the guy.  Lol.  Cologne gets me especially, I forget everything I was doing and just focus on it and get all mushy inside and wanna tell him I love him.  HAHA.

Yeah maybe I'm weird. :(

no no no....
I get that too...


I smell peoples pheremones that my body likes apparently. Its not from manly men... Its usually from more female pheremones I think... However, I know an FtM. He's off limits, but he smells so good...

Like. Cigarettes and pheremones and HIM. Its a good combo apparently. I guess I just like his body (though he hates it, obviously), and how nice and comforting a person he is. Thats not grounds for anything but a friendship though, cause I love love someone else...

But still... He really really smells good.

I'm on E and have not had the same feelings. Everyone is differant.
Sarah

Quote from: Maiden on December 06, 2009, 01:14:07 AMI get butterflies in my stomach around boys.  And it doesn't feel like nervousness.   It feels like I am hormonal and I am reacting to their scent.  Seriously.  That's how primal it feels.  Not even like a crush.

men give me butterflies too- even before I'm close enough to smell them. I was walking in town yesterday, one of the little Sydney suburbs right by the beach, and there was this group of 4 gorgeous guys sitting around at an outdoor cafe, with their swimming trunks and shirts off, all buff and muscle-y... zomg I thought I was just going to melt right through the pavement as I walked by them. I got all tingly and light headed... perhaps I was actually down wind or something but geeeeez... and this reaction only seems to get worse as time goes on (or better, depending on how you look at it)  >:-)

I don't get all butterflys and nervous around men.  But I do get that "Vulcan" look of one eyebrow up and kind of a "Indeed" smile on my face.  I was at my local convenience store to get cigarettes the other day, and I was behind this very tall Black gentlemen. I was like "Oh My" and was checking him out.  He smell really yummy.  I don't know what cologne he was wearing but Oh Yeah.

He finished his purchase and realized I was behind him.  He turned and smiled at me. I smiled back and he left.  I watch him leave and turned to the clerk behind the counter.  Judy looked at me and just busted up.  I turned very red.  :icon_redface:  And she said "Yeah he was quite good looking".  I just grinned and felt very hot.

All I could think of was one line from "Born To Be Wild" by Steppenwolf.  "Get your motor running".  Vroom Vroom.  ;D



Blessed Be
Janet

Quote from: Maiden on December 06, 2009, 01:14:07 AM
Hmm what an odd question, and I'm not sure of an answer.  I'm very very happy as a woman.  I'm a girly girl on so many levels and I'm free to express it. :) 

Oh, your story was about a boy.  I get butterflies in my stomach around boys.  And it doesn't feel like nervousness.   It feels like I am hormonal and I am reacting to their scent.  Seriously.  That's how primal it feels.  Not even like a crush.  I'm just next to him and I need to procreate with him (if I could, lol)  Isn't that funny?  Although it's annoying because I don't want to be all bashful yet flirty when I need to just have a regular convo with the guy.  Lol.  Cologne gets me especially, I forget everything I was doing and just focus on it and get all mushy inside and wanna tell him I love him.  HAHA.

Yeah maybe I'm weird. :(

Omg :D

No way. I feel that way also. Love it! The hard part is like you mentioned is carrying on a normal conversation and just wanting him to grab me and kiss me! Is getting a boyfriend going to curb these primal emotions??? I'll probably wind up running him through the ringer! lol.

Ya know... I really must be the oddball girl. I don't get mushy at every man I see, Some, sure, may get an interest out of me, I can list off several drop dead gorgeous guys that I'd jump in a second, four of five more that I could see myself falling for.... But I'm taken, perhaps that nulls the dreamy fire? Not sure I ever went to mush at every male even when single. People describe all these wondrous happy squishy feelings around men, Hormones seem to give out a huge list of feelings and emotions that I have never experienced, or knowingly have. Wonder if I'm broken?

Quote from: The None Blonde on December 07, 2009, 06:17:18 AM
Ya know... I really must be the oddball girl. I don't get mushy at every man I see, Some, sure, may get an interest out of me, I can list off several drop dead gorgeous guys that I'd jump in a second, four of five more that I could see myself falling for.... But I'm taken, perhaps that nulls the dreamy fire? Not sure I ever went to mush at every male even when single. People describe all these wondrous happy squishy feelings around men, Hormones seem to give out a huge list of feelings and emotions that I have never experienced, or knowingly have. Wonder if I'm broken?

Count yourself lucky. Having been unashamedly bisexual both pre and post-op I can never tell who is going to make me mushy, and as, like you, I'm happily partnered so it doesn't happen very often. But when it does oh boy! Knees go, concentration and coordination is shot, undies need changing - you know the drill. I guess they don't call it getting the hots for nothing.

Quote from: The None Blonde on December 07, 2009, 06:17:18 AM
Ya know... I really must be the oddball girl. I don't get mushy at every man I see, Some, sure, may get an interest out of me, I can list off several drop dead gorgeous guys that I'd jump in a second, four of five more that I could see myself falling for.... But I'm taken, perhaps that nulls the dreamy fire? Not sure I ever went to mush at every male even when single. People describe all these wondrous happy squishy feelings around men, Hormones seem to give out a huge list of feelings and emotions that I have never experienced, or knowingly have. Wonder if I'm broken?

I don't think you're broken None Blonde.  Or if you are, I am too.  This feeling has happened to me with perhaps four men since I started hormones 8 months ago.  But then I'm old, so maybe it takes more to get my motor running. :) 

And being old, the college hunks don't interest me at all.  I want a guy who might know what he's doing. >:-)

- Kate

Third here NB.  It isn't every guy.  But like Jenny said it does lead to Knickers needing changing.



Hugs and Love
Janet

Men don't do it for me. My wife calls me a lesbian. I just love woman
Sarah

      

Men? EWWWWW no thanks. When I see a guy my stomach fills up with butterflies....and then I vomit.  :D  When I see a cute chick then it's like this >  :icon_bunch:

Quote from: sarahF on December 07, 2009, 05:30:55 PM
Men don't do it for me. My wife calls me a lesbian. I just love woman
Sarah

I may still be mostly a lesbian...

But I'm now like, totally cool with the phallus, as long as its not on me.

I think thats why I never really cared for the idea... That A. My brain wasn't reprogrammed yet and B. I hated mine so much that why would I like other peoples


But I like people who are mentally dominant girls, or FtMs


(not trying to indicate your femininity, but rather SOME of you definitely are so much more understanding than most men and ideally could still be in touch with empathy... I mean I know someone and I don't see him as a girl at ALL and he hasn't even started HRT. I'm surprised people still call him the wrong pronoun because he's just blatantly himself.... On the other hand he isn't afraid to tell me whats on his mind. He doesn't act like some kind of meathead who is ashamed of their own mind. I mean, obviously hormones that are wrong for him do a number on him, but his experiences, though horrific, could have made him just a better man. Plus he's hot. Not my type though, I just like to point that out because he kind of astounds me in some ways. He is VERY COOL)

Males I thought were hot were rare exceptions, and Its only cause I thought their body was attractive... That doesn't really mean that I'd love them or wanna be with them. I like the feeling of other women, I just like it when I'm theirs.


See this is why I'm hesitant to even call myself "pansexual" even... Cause I just have a specific set of tastes. I mean... Even in food, I'll eat total junk and love it sometimes (assuming it doesn't have MSG or it gives me an attack), and yet I'll miss the days when my dad would get me Creme Brule (or however you spell it... I'm a dumb American... Handicapped.... Deerrrrrr). I'd even mix it (like how I like it sexually to an extent, but specific base and deviation)... I'd add fine wine to healthfood store Ramen noodles and it tasted JAWSOME.


SO...

I dk. I like specific kinds of people... Very specific. But there are exceptions sometimes? But I'd prefer the specific, at least sexually/relationshipwise.

Quote from: sarahF on December 07, 2009, 05:30:55 PM
Men don't do it for me. My wife calls me a lesbian. I just love woman
Sarah

I'm a bit like that too. There are a few men who are attractive to me, but on the whole I find many men unattractive.

Chatting with a guy is one thing, being close is another.

I vividly remember my first time.  Wearing a skirt and soft top, sitting on my couch in my apartment, watching tv.  Just feeling his arm around me, it made me feel so good, so....protected--a feeling I wasn't used to.  Just the feel of his body next to mine, so muscular, maybe his scent (for all I know), but in any case to finally FEEL like a woman meant the world to me.  To allow myself to be soft, and vulnerable, and feminine....to be MYSELF.

It was awesome, and something I will never forget.

To finally feel truly, completely a woman in my own right, was beyond awesome.

Just my 2 cents....

Quote from: tgirljuliewilson on December 09, 2009, 01:57:28 AM
Chatting with a guy is one thing, being close is another.

I vividly remember my first time.  Wearing a skirt and soft top, sitting on my couch in my apartment, watching tv.  Just feeling his arm around me, it made me feel so good, so....protected--a feeling I wasn't used to.  Just the feel of his body next to mine, so muscular, maybe his scent (for all I know), but in any case to finally FEEL like a woman meant the world to me.  To allow myself to be soft, and vulnerable, and feminine....to be MYSELF.

It was awesome, and something I will never forget.

To finally feel truly, completely a woman in my own right, was beyond awesome.

Just my 2 cents....

Wow! now that is what I would call being a woman...and I totally agree, although I haven't been in that position very often but I did feel exactely the same as you describe.

Quote from: tgirljuliewilson on December 09, 2009, 01:57:28 AM
Chatting with a guy is one thing, being close is another.

I vividly remember my first time.  Wearing a skirt and soft top, sitting on my couch in my apartment, watching tv.  Just feeling his arm around me, it made me feel so good, so....protected--a feeling I wasn't used to.  Just the feel of his body next to mine, so muscular, maybe his scent (for all I know), but in any case to finally FEEL like a woman meant the world to me.  To allow myself to be soft, and vulnerable, and feminine....to be MYSELF.

It was awesome, and something I will never forget.

To finally feel truly, completely a woman in my own right, was beyond awesome.

Just my 2 cents....

I love your description and agree wholeheartedly!

mmm, Not sure women need men to feel like women.... I'm not being all militant lesbian feminist here... just a realist... We're one of the sexes, we can exist perfectly well as singular entities... we shouldn't place our self worth and self image on what men think of us, or how men treat us. Be a person in your own right.

I am perfectly happy and complete being a woman.  It is what I've always wanted and I'm enjoying it no end.  I certainly don't need a man and usually have no use for one.

But when a man gives me a certain look and I feel my insides melt...  Well, it's just frosting on an already wonderful cake. ;)

- Kate

Quote from: The None Blonde on December 09, 2009, 02:51:48 PM
mmm, Not sure women need men to feel like women.... I'm not being all militant lesbian feminist here... just a realist... We're one of the sexes, we can exist perfectly well as singular entities... we shouldn't place our self worth and self image on what men think of us, or how men treat us. Be a person in your own right.

I agree with you and it's good to be independant, but it's also nice to know you may be attractive to the opposite sex (Men).

The None Blonde, of course we feel as women individually.  That's why we are on this path!  But it's fun to gush about how it feels when a cute someone is by you. :) 

My BF took me out to dinner last night, I wore a gorgeous black lace dress I had got shopping 2weeks ago, my BF commented I was dazzling, but I notice the waiter couldnd take his eyes off me, kept staring at my cleavage, I notice BF giving him an awful look, then he put his arm around me and kiss me, as if to say ''this gal is taken'' omg that was the first time in 2years I think my BF was actually jealous, I could feel myself blushing under my makeup, I thought my face was going to melt, good thing I was wearing face powder.
I did feel all mushy, felt very vulnerable, feminine and really felt good about myself, times like this is really good just being me, being complete and just being a woman.
p

Right on Pauline!!!  ;D

Quote from: pretty pauline on December 10, 2009, 06:01:33 PM
My BF took me out to dinner last night, I wore a gorgeous black lace dress I had got shopping 2weeks ago, my BF commented I was dazzling, but I notice the waiter couldnd take his eyes off me, kept staring at my clearvage, I notice BF giving him an awful look, then he put his arm around me and kiss me, as if to say ''this gal is taken'' omg that was the first time in 2years I think my BF was actually jealous, I could feel myself blushing under my makeup, good thing I was wearing powder.
I did feel all mushy, felt very vulnerable, feminine and really felt good about myself, times like this is really good just being me, being complete and just being a woman.
p

Not many of us get to that point and can only dream about it!

Quote from: Naturally Blonde on December 11, 2009, 06:20:28 AM
Not many of us get to that point and can only dream about it!

But you will get there hun, it wasn't always good, I told my BF few months back my history, it was a bit of a shock to him, but since then he has very slowly come round, that waiter the other night probably help things when he came on to me, BF was so so jealous, it was the first time I ever saw him like that, he was so busy glaring at that guy he didn't even notice me blushing, then again, foundation and face powder a girl's best friend in a situation like that, I said absolutely nothing, but secretly enjoyed the moment, a woman's private moment. Its moments like that I enjoy just being a woman, thats an answer to the original title of this thread, ''What Is It About Being a Woman''
Hugs p

You wear enough foundation to cover a blush? Damn... do you get it from the drug store, or the hardware store?

Quote from: pretty pauline on December 12, 2009, 07:32:16 AM
But you will get there hun, it wasn't always good, I told my BF few months back my history, it was a bit of a shock to him, but since then he has very slowly come round, that waiter the other night probably help things when he came on to me, BF was so so jealous, it was the first time I ever saw him like that, he was so busy glaring at that guy he didn't even notice me blushing, then again, foundation and face powder a girl's best friend in a situation like that, I said absolutely nothing, but secretly enjoyed the moment, a woman's private moment. Its moments like that I enjoy just being a woman, thats an answer to the original title of this thread, ''What Is It About Being a Woman''
Hugs p

When you first met your boyfriend, how long was it before you told him you were ts? and how did he react? 

Quote from: Janet Lynn on December 06, 2009, 02:23:00 PM
I don't get all butterflys and nervous around men.  But I do get that "Vulcan" look of one eyebrow up and kind of a "Indeed" smile on my face.  I was at my local convenience store to get cigarettes the other day, and I was behind this very tall Black gentlemen. I was like "Oh My" and was checking him out.  He smell really yummy.  I don't know what cologne he was wearing but Oh Yeah.

He finished his purchase and realized I was behind him.  He turned and smiled at me. I smiled back and he left.  I watch him leave and turned to the clerk behind the counter.  Judy looked at me and just busted up.  I turned very red.  :icon_redface:  And she said "Yeah he was quite good looking".  I just grinned and felt very hot.

All I could think of was one line from "Born To Be Wild" by Steppenwolf.  "Get your motor running".  Vroom Vroom.  ;D



Blessed Be
Janet

I don't really have feelings that fit into this thread but I am very certain of one thing, when I think of myself with a guy or when I look at guys and wonder what it would be like, it's always the black guys who turn my head.

i can't recall a single white male, even a nice looking one, that I've ever really pictured myself with but I've done so several times thinking of a black man in my presence.

I have no idea exactly what that means (beyond the obvious "different people are turned on by different things" cliche) but my best guess is that being in touch with my submissive nature, the guys I am giving thought to or the ones I imagine to be more a dominant type...maybe guys who just look like the should be or give off a certain vibe or something.

Quote from: Laura Hope on December 13, 2009, 06:31:28 PM
I don't really have feelings that fit into this thread but I am very certain of one thing, when I think of myself with a guy or when I look at guys and wonder what it would be like, it's always the black guys who turn my head.

i can't recall a single white male, even a nice looking one, that I've ever really pictured myself with but I've done so several times thinking of a black man in my presence.

I have no idea exactly what that means (beyond the obvious "different people are turned on by different things" cliche) but my best guess is that being in touch with my submissive nature, the guys I am giving thought to or the ones I imagine to be more a dominant type...maybe guys who just look like the should be or give off a certain vibe or something.

That makes sense actually. I really don't mean this in a racist way at all, but when I was into men, I always tended to steer away from men of color for exactly the same reason - they come off as more dominant than white or Hispanic guys. I have a really hard time with guys more dominant than I am. It was a shame, because the littler ones are so hot.

Quote from: The None Blonde on December 12, 2009, 08:10:49 AM
You wear enough foundation to cover a blush? Damn... do you get it from the drug store, or the hardware store?

Gosh what a good idea lol maybe I should get it from the hardware store, good solid cement cover up all my cracks lol
Yeah I ain't no beauty queen, but with a bit of work and effort I can be pretty.
My fiancé made a big effort for my Birthday, took me out for dinner, bought me flowers and chocolates (which I probably won't eat due to being on a diet) and gave me a piece of expensive jewellery, I think the very least I can do is make an effort for him by smelling nice and trying to look gorgeous.

When the evening wears on  and after about 4glasses of wine and beauty starts to wear off, being a woman I can always go to the ladies room, put on more slap, powdered myself up and Im ready to face the world again, I think BF was pleased, thats all that matters to me.

Quote from: Naturally Blonde on December 13, 2009, 06:19:59 PM
When you first met your boyfriend, how long was it before you told him you were ts? and how did he react? 

I dated my boyfriend for 18months before I tolded him I was trans, that was just before last Christmas, we where to marry earlier this year, he was shocked and didn't believe me at first, we decided to put the wedding on hold till we or he clears his head, I was dreading telling him but now Im glad I did, like a big weight taken off my shoulders, its now out of the way, but he doesn't want to tell his family, we now don't discuss it, he prefers not to.
He a gentleman who certainly knows how to treat a lady, he made a very big effort last week for my Birthday, treated me like a real Birthday girl, things are moving along slowly now in the right direction, hope it lasts.
p

Quote from: tgirljuliewilson on December 09, 2009, 01:57:28 AM
Chatting with a guy is one thing, being close is another.

I vividly remember my first time.  Wearing a skirt and soft top, sitting on my couch in my apartment, watching tv.  Just feeling his arm around me, it made me feel so good, so....protected--a feeling I wasn't used to.  Just the feel of his body next to mine, so muscular, maybe his scent (for all I know), but in any case to finally FEEL like a woman meant the world to me.  To allow myself to be soft, and vulnerable, and feminine....to be MYSELF.

It was awesome, and something I will never forget.

To finally feel truly, completely a woman in my own right, was beyond awesome.

Just my 2 cents....

OMG, I want that!

Oh!
My!
GAWD!

Ok, this goes against some of the stuff i said earlier but hell, I didn't see this coming...

So I was at the public library, right? and as I'm leaving I remember a book i was going to look for and kind of berate myself under my breath as i turn around and right in front of me is this mexican guy on a computer and when he hears me he turns around and looks and i smile and continue to the catalog computer which is situated right next to his - except he's seated and i'm standing and his is at a 45 degree angle to my left.

So he keeps glancing at me and i figure possible he's clocked me and i note in passing he's a very good looking guy - mostly as an academic judgment - I mean VERY good looking, like cover model looks.

In a bit he offers to let me use his computer and I shake my head "no, I'm just looking up a book thanks" and he smiles and looks back at his screen.

all pretty ordinary so far.

So i find that the book is out and i hit the door and as i'm about to get in my car i see he's coming out the door too. As i get in he pecks on the driver side glass (this not being a big city it's not like I'm afraid) and i lower the window...

Him: hey...uh...where are you going?"

Me: I have to drop something off at the post office" (true)

Him: well...um...are you married?"

Me: (VEEEERY reluctantly!) Uh...yeah, i am, sorry"

Him: "Oh, ok, sorry"

Me: "Don't be!"

He smiles and goes back inside...

Me....I can't breath for about 10 minutes!

K8, sweetie, I know am prepared to say "Amen!" and "Preach on sister!"


My god what a rush!

;D ;D ;D ;D

Welcome to the congregation, Laura.  How absolutely wonderful!

:eusa_dance: :icon_dance: :icon_flower:

- Kate

I have been getting mushy like that for some guys long before HRT. Some men especially large black men just make me putty.
I haven't met a man like that in some time. I am interested to see what my reaction will be now that I am in transition.

The right guy, under the right circumstances, will 'do it to ya'....

Just enjoy the moment, and LIVE as you were meant to live...

again, just my 2 cents....

cheers!

Its a matter of perception and chemistry that does it. Some men just make you feel more feminine.

Some men just make you feel more feminine.

While others just make you feel like a maid with sexual services on the side.

So true Tekla I've been there.