Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Mine doesn't, and it really bugs me. They just hunch over their places and occasionally grunt, but mostly it sounds like a pack of dogs picking apart a carcass. The non genetic members if the family do, but it's so awkward that I don't know why we get together.

My mom likes to watch me eat, too. That's freaking creepy, she will just sit in silence and stare.

So is my family made up of psychopaths or is this just a generational thing? For me, meals are as much about connecting as they are feeding, but I seem to be in the minority around here.

Ever since the grandkids moved in we make sure we have a sit down dinner every evening. We talk about school, My wife will tell us about her day, aor any problems anyone has. Conversation seem easier around the dinner table.

Becca have you tried to start a conversation, It dosen't have to be about anything special, just something to break the ice.

Jamie

God, that sounds so... white, and Protestant.  Didn't Woody Allen do that in Annie Hall with the split screen of her family having dinner and his?

- My family, never shut up, dinner was more like a House of Commons Prime Minster meeting.  Or what the House of Commons might be like if they had a food fight with the PM meeting.
- My ex - Jewish, just like Woody pictured it, complete with long discussions of illnesses and diseases that you don't want to hear about even on an empty stomach.
- My GF - Mexican - try, I dare you to try to get a word in.

My family never spoke during dinner.  I try to now to change that part of my life.



Janet

I'm so jealous Tekla, those sound like rich experiences. I've tried to poke them yes, but I'm kind of the pink sheep in the group  :)

Oh and they're not Protestant, even better: Mormons.

Oh, LDS, the church for people who thought that Protestants were not white enough or dull enough. 

I guess at some point in order to have a discussion, you have to have something going on in your life to talk about.  Maybe they just didn't do anything, or read anything or think much about anything.  There are people like that.

QuoteOh and they're not Protestant, even better: Mormons.

Then get some topics from Glen Beck.

Topics bordering on insanity always brings a family closer in my opinion. 

Quote from: Becca on November 23, 2009, 03:02:51 PM
I'm so jealous Tekla, those sound like rich experiences. I've tried to poke them yes, but I'm kind of the pink sheep in the group  :)

Oh and they're not Protestant, even better: Mormons.

Mormons tend to be all about family. My parents are Mormon and like to talk at the dinner table, however I do not. And I wouldn't call Mormons boring exactly, lol.

If they would practice what they preach, sure. It sounds great in writing. While I was growing up my dad cheated on my mom, with other women in the church, 7 times that we know of. A couple well known members were beating their wives and kids, others were screwing their daughters. Everyone just tolerated the community pedophile, he actually drives the food truck for the old ladies now.

I don't know for sure how the hell I got out relatively unscarred, prolly the military. I'd always thought for myself but there I learned the confidence to act as well.

Anyway it sounds like it's broken people, not necessarily their church even though it's a fun stereotype lol.  >:-)   

yes we do. Some days I wish not only because it takes forever to get through a meal. I have to get my kids up at 6am so they can be to school at 8:20. It takes them at least an hour to have breakfast because they talk to each other (when we have left the table). I ask them what they have to talk about they share a room, last year were in the same class at school and basically spend all waking hours together. They say there is plenty for them to catch up on. Usually it has to do with what Star Wars ship, gun or creature is better tan the other. They crack me up. I would rather have the talking than silence though that is for sure.
Myles/Andrew

Quote from: Becca on November 23, 2009, 03:41:08 PM
If they would practice what they preach, sure. It sounds great in writing. While I was growing up my dad cheated on my mom, with other women in the church, 7 times that we know of. A couple well known members were beating their wives and kids, others were screwing their daughters. Everyone just tolerated the community pedophile, he actually drives the food truck for the old ladies now.

I don't know for sure how the hell I got out relatively unscarred, prolly the military. I'd always thought for myself but there I learned the confidence to act as well.

Anyway it sounds like it's broken people, not necessarily their church even though it's a fun stereotype lol.  >:-)

Yep, just broken people. Doesn't matter what they'd follow they'd still be the same way.

I'm lucky, I guess. My family supports my transition and it seems like most of the drama came from non-Mormons, lol, specifically my biological father(I'm raised by my grandparents) who made up issues instead of taking responsibility for himself. He has a bit of an anarchist attitude and I can't stand him. He ended up scarring me mentally in the end and thinks I'm just gay whereas the rest of my family knows it's different from orientation. It's weird. Maybe it's because I'm Canadian and there's a different attitude, I don't know, I rarely hear about fundamental nut jobs here either.

But it's best to just look at people as people, instead of judging what they're affiliated with... at least when it comes to most socialization, that thinking wouldn't hold up in a job and there can be touchy subjects. However, good and bad people exist in every belief or non-belief. :)
I find stereotyping when it isn't applicable a cheap shot.

But as for advice for the dinner table, the best thing would be to talk to them about something that they've been working on or doing in their life, completely harmless stuff. Politics and religion can be a big no-no if your family have very divided views. A lot of people tend to like to talk about themselves. I know when my family gets together we get on the topic of work or technology, or something in the news. We're pretty civil when it comes to politics and religion, I think. Very open minded and liberal people.

In the end it just depends on your family. What makes you get along. Some sort of common ground.

Depends on how good the food is.  ;D

Politics, sex and religion are the ONLY things worth talking about, otherwise your just jerking the guy next to you off.

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Post Merge: November 23, 2009, 07:12:33 PM

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But it's best to just look at people as people, instead of judging what they're affiliated with

Ummm, real adults (those that think) pay very careful attention to what they are affiliated with.  Here are two dinner parties, guess what one you would be in the most danger at....

One - Union organizer, Lifetime ACLU member, democrat,
Two - Club for Growth, Elder at the local Baptist church, republican

Real people - not idiots, of which there are tons - do really decide (not just go along with) what they want to associate themselves with.

The sound of children chattering away at the dinner table is something special.

Sure, but the taste of children at the table, especially in a nice balsamic reduction has to be experienced to be believed.  With some fava beans and a nice Chianti, of course.

:icon_chuckel:

Since I was little, we always had dinner together and always talked at the table. Some of our best discussions are had while sitting around the dinner table. We'll even delay leaving for awhile cause we're having fun chatting.

Quote from: tekla on November 23, 2009, 07:06:23 PM
Politics, sex and religion are the ONLY things worth talking about, otherwise your just jerking the guy next to you off.

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Post Merge: November 23, 2009, 07:12:33 PM

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But it's best to just look at people as people, instead of judging what they're affiliated with

Ummm, real adults (those that think) pay very careful attention to what they are affiliated with.  Here are two dinner parties, guess what one you would be in the most danger at....

One - Union organizer, Lifetime ACLU member, democrat,
Two - Club for Growth, Elder at the local Baptist church, republican

Real people - not idiots, of which there are tons - do really decide (not just go along with) what they want to associate themselves with.

Which is what I said. :)

I'm just saying that there are different kinds of people who believe and think different things, but can all be affiliated under one cause. Like I specified, there are scenarios where it isn't applicable.

Quote from: tekla on November 23, 2009, 10:11:08 PM
Sure, but the taste of children at the table, especially in a nice balsamic reduction has to be experienced to be believed.  With some fava beans and a nice Chianti, of course.

:D

When my mom first moved out my dad used to talk a lot at the table not realizing that the only other person who actually talked back had left. Lotta awkward silences till he figured it out. Lol. Me and my brother just don't talk a lot generally.

I had dinner at my brothers house last night, and it was more of the same. His kids hunched over their setting just like their dad and my mother, while his wife and I made conversation. I can't believe I share DNA with these people, it's amazing. As soon as the food was gone they zipped off to squat in front of the tv. It's sad what things have become.

I can't figure it out either. She and I are the only educated people in the family, and incidentally neither of us watch tv. It seems clear cut but my therapist has double masters, and as far as I can tell she enjoys the tube an aweful lot. So meh, I dunno.

There's just about always conversation at our meals. This was true in my family when I was a kid but not in my wife's family when she was growing up.

But, as Miniar points out, if the food is real good there's little conversation.

By the way, I'm the family cook.  ;D

Dinner conversations these days can be events. There are very interesting senses of humor in my my family, including my ordained minister wife. Big nose jokes are favorites, and there are some Noses with a capital "N" in my family.

We don't always have dinner together at the table but do at least a couple of times a week. When we do we also have conversation, sometimes about life, sometimes about random things. But whenever we eat together we talk. One time recently the discussion turned to why I wear female pants and my sister unknowingly helped me out by saying its the style for a lot of guys now lol. If she only knew...

-Heather

I wouldn't say talk, as much as yell.

Talk and food at the same time!?


and to think I was taught to not talk with food.

good thing I'm all there is, no one to talk to and no one to hear me.

My family generally does... but 30% of the time it devolves into an argument either between my dad and my sister or my dad and my mom.  But thats a better percentage than before... and I haven't eaten at home with them in over a year now so who knows.

Not really we do speak most of the time but not all of the time, mainly because we are to ingrossed in our food and watching the television.


I personally think that if I ever had kids I would want us to talk over dinner about there day!

Jay

Unfortunately they do. All except my older brother are highly dysfunctional idiots and should keep their trap shut. Better to be thought of as a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.