Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm not talking about burping & whatnot, but how long, & what does it take to be yourself around others? I'm no good at being anyone but me, but I still feel like I have to be very careful. I don't like to hide, maybe it would be smart to, but I just hate hiding. 

I tended to be stand offish.  I am shy and much to myself.  I have never been one for being open with strangers, unless of course I have been drinking.  And I don't drink anymore.



Janet

I don't have enough imagination to be anyone else.  Nor do I have the energy.  Too much other stuff to do.  So what you see is what you get - taking into account that its a rather complex me to be. 

I don't really know who I am yet to be completely honest, so I'm going to go with a long time. I thought I did, but a couple months ago everything I thought I knew finally dissolved into a long-haired-pill-popping-ocd-powerwalking-wrist-cutting-blubbering-shuddering-mess. It's like there's two realities: one where I don't have an identity and one where I do and right this moment I kind of bounce in between. So, it's tough when I see people studying me and trying to see the genuine person inside, because right now there really isn't one...just kind of bits and pieces that my therapist and I are sorting through and splitting pretty evenly between the mending pile and the garbage can.

I've accomplished little of what I would really liked to, but I've only lied when it was a matter of staying alive, that is the depth of my lies. I do not feel the need to lie anymore, not because I am a good person, but I will not say sorry for who I am.

I'm always myself.
It just changes, which aspects of myself are the most visible at any given time.

i am shy so it takes a while befor i let someone in about the only place i feel comfortable talking is on chat or in forums do to the anonymous eeling it allows sad but true unfortunately
jessica

 It depends on which of my two persona wakes up after a good nap. If its Amrisa, I'm shy and always on guard. Mainly because the body I do have now does fit Amrisa's persona. If my male persona gets up, ( he rarly does anymore) he is a bit more open with people and enjoys to socialize with them. Most of the time, I keep my distance.

I'm quite sure if that makes any sense to anyone but that is how it feels like for me. 

QuoteHow long does it take you to be yourself & let your guard down?

Never. My guard is up even when I'm completely alone.

Quote from: VioletNight on November 30, 2009, 01:57:54 AM
Never. My guard is up even when I'm completely alone.

I used to be the same. Then I took up drinking and it helped for awhile, to get the yucky stuff out and stop caring so much, cause I cared waaay too much. Then I stopped drinking and kept on being open :)