Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I haven't worn a wig in months.  Occasionally I'll se a pic of me with a wig and think how great it would be to have a head of hair like that.  Last night I was playing around and decided to do see if it would really make that much difference.  I picked an outfit I wore a couple of years ago figuring I could compare me then vs. me now.  I put on the same top and shoes but different skirt.  I think the wig was the same too.  Then I took a couple of pics and compared them side by side.  I've changed a lot.  I felt pretty.  I haven't felt that way in a while so I decided to go out.

I went to a place I've been many times and as I walked in saw the place was pretty dead.  But I know the bartender pretty well and we always enjoy each other's company.  Then a guy walks in and starts giving me goo-goo eyes.  It's been a long time since anyone has looked at me like that and I'll admit it felt good.  He starts complimenting me, telling me I'm very pretty, etc.  We do the introductions and after I tell him my name he says, "What's your real name?"  I again tell him it's Julie.  He looks at me and then takes one of my hands.  "These are men's hands."  I pull away then go back to talking to the bartender. 

I pass at Home Depot when I'm in ordinary clothes and immediately get clocked after spending all that time getting dolled up.  I thought I was passable.  It's kind of a bummer.

For the record, this is what I looked like last night.

  :icon_hug: Awe


tinkerbell :icon_chick:

How rude that man was! >:(  You were very right turning away from him like that.  He assumed that you were cross dressing instead of being who you really are.  I might have asked your bartender friend to throw the bum out.

btw - you looked gorgeous that night and I don't know what the heck this guy was thinking.

hugs & smiles,
helem

My guess is that you looked so pretty that more attention was paid to you.  Because more attention was paid to you, you got clocked.  I'm sorry that happened.  My hands are kind of androgynous.  Not definitely women's hands and not definitely men's hands.  I have had somebody ask me what my real name was, but that was before I had legally changed it.  Now I can just whip out my license and make them feel like a fool.  Anyways, I'm sure it happened because you looked so good.

Melissa

Who knows Julie?  I had that happen to me every once in a while back in the day.  Personally, I think the wig might be a tell.  They can be really hard to fix so that they look perfectly natural.  I think your own hair is much nicer.  But you do look very hot in the black hair and clothing. 

It's really hard to know what it was.  Maybe he's got some experience?  That also happened to me once.  After the person called me out, he wanted advice!

When dressed in drab, no one guesses perhaps because they would never expect a cross dresser, tg, drag queen, whatever to do that.  That's why I think we are safer dressed down some.

Cindi

I have never heard of the term "to get clocked."  ??? I know that means that someone guessed that you were in transition...but how did this term come about?  I am just curious.

I think that it comes from getting caught speeding.  They used to use two marks on the road and measure the time you took to cross both of them to determine your speed.  Hence the term "clocked".  That was way before radar.

Cindi

TO BE CLOCKED:

It is supposed to mean To be viewed as a member of one's biological sex despite presenting as a member of the opposite sex.

However, it also means:

QuoteWhat does it mean to get "clocked"?
Answer: It usually means that the police officer is about to stop you and write you a speeding ticket

Cindi, you were right on this one... :)


Now, this, I'd never heard before ::):

Quote1.12) What does it mean to "Get clocked"?

        Getting clocked is what happens when the SRS surgery does not go as
well as planned. In roughly 10 percent of all m-f SRS surgery, the individual
cannot achieve orgasm through stimulation of the vagina.

I think this meaning of getting clocked is wrong, but it appears in different TG and TS glossary sites....Oh well!



tinkerbell :icon_chick:

Oh Julie,

I think you're georgeous and am so sorry to hear this happened to you. I hope you didn't let it get you down too much, especially considering his behavior.

I also think this was very rude of the "gentleman" you met. He obviously wasn't trying to win your heart or mind with the hands comment.

*hugs*

Genevieve

Ditch the wig.

Also that dress makes your upper arms look too big.
Posted on: October 23, 2006, 09:45:39 AM

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Quote from: Genevieve on October 23, 2006, 08:45:47 AM
Oh Julie,

I think you're georgeous and am so sorry to hear this happened to you. I hope you didn't let it get you down too much, especially considering his behavior.

I also think this was very rude of the "gentleman" you met. He obviously wasn't trying to win your heart or mind with the hands comment.

*hugs*

Genevieve

He is a man. Nuff said.

Quote from: melissa90299 on October 23, 2006, 09:52:48 AM
Ditch the wig.

I agree.  Even GGs with wigs are usually clocked as wearing a wig.  That "Perfect hair" is usually the giveaway and usually makes the person examine you further.  Personally I hated wearing a wig and couldn't wait to ditch it.

Melissa

Quote from: Melissa on October 23, 2006, 09:58:54 AM
I agree.  Even GGs with wigs are usually clocked as wearing a wig.  That "Perfect hair" is usually the giveaway and usually makes the person examine you further.  Personally I hated wearing a wig and could wait to ditch it.

LOL, I used to half-joke that the first thing you need to do with a new wig is drop it in a puddle and stomp on it a bit, lol...

Or at *least* brush it until it frizzes a little. Sure it's less pretty, but it's more realistic that way.

Kate, for some reason, I can't PM you. Dr Ousterhout did my FFS, email me directly for more info.

melissa90299@yahoo.com

BTW here is a helpful link for info on FFS

http://beginninglife.com/FFS.htm

I'm sorry to hear that happened, Julie. :( That guy had no tact, and if he had tried that with me he might have ended up wearing a glassful of water.  >:D

That's interesting about the origin of "clocked". The meanings "read" and "made" have always seemed obvious to me - now they all make sense.

Julie,
  I wouldn't worry about it. You do look very, very nice. Down right gorgeous. I never liked wearing a wig either. It was always too hot for me. I have nice hair, my own and you do too. I have big hands, but I met some girls that had hands the same size as mine. I couldn't believe it. So don't feel like your the only girl out there with big hands. I wear a size 15 ring.
Sheila

Quote from: umop ap!sdn on October 23, 2006, 12:37:16 PM
I'm sorry to hear that happened, Julie. :( That guy had no tact, and if he had tried that with me he might have ended up wearing a glassful of water.  >:D

Oh yeah! I actually did that once. Wish I had a picture of that guy. After you throw the water, laugh at him and walk out. I had forgotten about that incident, one of the high points of my early transition.

That guy was a poop on a stick!  *eww, stink

QuoteMy guess is that you looked so pretty that more attention was paid to you.  Because more attention was paid to you, you got clocked.

I think Melissa hit the nail on the head.  Jocelyn gets mistook for a girl when she's presenting as a guy constantly, but when she's dressed to the nines she's constantly getting read.  But then somebody once thought they had clocked her thinking that she was FtM instead of MtF!  I even got "sirred" once at work (I was fuming...I turned around and "ma'am-ed" him!) and if that can happen to GG's...anyways, who knows what makes people tick!  I think you look fantastic, IMHO!  That's probably why he was staring and if it was only your hands that gave it away then that's something to be proud of!

Thank you!  It's nice to have friends you can count on. 

I agree on the wig thing and would have never even thought of wearing if a friend hadn't egged me on to do a comparison with an old pic.  But I'll admit when I put it on I felt I looked ten times better.  It takes me about 10 minutes to get the wig right and about half an hour or more to get my own hair looking half as good.  It still needs some length and a better cut.

I think you are right about being all dolled up in a blue jean bar.  I stood out like a sore thumb.  It's nice wearing pretty clothes but you have to have the right place to go when your dressed that way.  I guess this whole thing got to me because I used to go there looking like that all the time, dressed to the nines, and I ALWAYS got a lot of attention.  When I started dressing in everyday clothes that attention stopped abruptly and I missed that.  So when this guy starts with the goo-goo eyes it felt pretty good and brought back old memories.  Then the whole thing crashes when he makes the hand comment.  Thing is I have small hands for a guy.  I usually wear ladies work gloves because men's gloves are too big so that comment threw me for a loop.

Anyway, it's all water under the bridge now.  Thanks again for being there and being so supportive.  Reading your replies really made me smile.  Thank you all so much.

very interesting...how contradictory is that. U spend so long gettin all done up to the nines, and u get read...but u just throw on lite makeup, a simple top, and sum jeans and no one suspects a thing. lol

I have a few stories about bein read...lol, I was so embaressed the first time. I was with sum friends and we were walkin around town and we stopped at a store. they were the only ones who knew who i was...but a girl I knew from school was sittin nearby and she picked me out right away...but I think its only cause she knew who i was. but i had also way overdone my makeup and was in a mini skirt, lolothersie, other times Ive gone out en fem, Ive pretty much been perceived as a girl, which I like. I jsut tend to stay quite cause I dont have much faith in my voice, lol.

now, the other times ive gone out as a girl, I dressed mostly conservatively...but I do like to to look abit more glamorous for events...but either way, ive been pretty lucky and I have passed pretty darn well for the most part. but it does discourage me quite a lot when I think ive been read...but it get over it.

There's a joke that goes, in a group of women how can you tell which one is trans, and the answer is she's the one in a skirt & blouse. I think people subconsciously make that association, which is unfortunate. I wish I could wear long skirts & nice tops more often but most places that would just stand out.  :-\

Quote from: umop ap!sdn on October 24, 2006, 11:42:24 PM
There's a joke that goes, in a group of women how can you tell which one is trans, and the answer is she's the one in a skirt & blouse. I think people subconsciously make that association, which is unfortunate. I wish I could wear long skirts & nice tops more often but most places that would just stand out.  :-\

As funny as that is I know it's true.  When I was married I almost had to beg my wife to get dolled up, even for the dressiest occasions.  She just didn't like attracting attention to herself.  And when I think about my four sisters, most of them prefer ultra casual to dressy.

I've heard many times that less is more and each time I apply that rule I find it's true.  Funny thing is I have been preaching that to other girls and when I didn't follow the rule and got clocked I got all upset.  If I was in grade school my teacher would have me at the chalkboard writing "I won't get all dolled up" a hundred times.

Julie

Quote from: umop ap!sdn on October 24, 2006, 11:42:24 PM
There's a joke that goes, in a group of women how can you tell which one is trans, and the answer is she's the one in a skirt & blouse. I think people subconsciously make that association, which is unfortunate. I wish I could wear long skirts & nice tops more often but most places that would just stand out.  :-\

True.  One doesn't see that many women wearing skirts and tops or blouses anymore.  At work, I wore a skirt or suit once or twice a week and slacks the rest of the time.  Now that I'm back home, it's mostly jeans and tops or sweaters.  To do otherwise would earn one stares at the very least.

Dress up is reserved for formal nights on cruise and maybe for church. 

One nice thing is that, once one is full time, it 'ain't' the clothes anymore.  It's being yourself that gives the pleasure.

As I've said, Julie, you're drop dead gorgeous in any clothes you choose.

Robyn

Quote

Dress up is reserved for formal nights on cruise and maybe for church. 

Or for when your man is coming to town.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi123.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fo318%2Fmelissa90299%2Faaaawf4rf.jpg&hash=bff763b1d431f626a5e23066af2aa86c9c5a87cb)

QuoteOr for when your man is coming to town.

Melissa, you are too funny!  If anything I dress down!  I have been known to be in the hot tub when he comes home from a long week's work.  Now we have a rule about what not to wear in the hot tub....... 

Cindi

The only times I have been clocked are when I wear a short sleeve dress or top without a wrap or something to cover my arms. Something I did many, many years ago before I accepted who and what I am was body building, one advantage I did come out with are very tone legs :)