Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: Tay on December 05, 2009, 10:35:11 AM Return to Full Version
Title: I didn\'t realise I was passing...
Post by: Tay on December 05, 2009, 10:35:11 AM
Post by: Tay on December 05, 2009, 10:35:11 AM
So I've been on T for almost four months and was under the impression that I still don't get read correctly as male by the general public etc.
When I'm out in public I'm constantly paranoid that someone will realise that beneath my male presentation, I have a large chest which although I bind, is still visible, or that when they speak to me my voice is very female. (It has dropped in the last month or so but it started out very high, so it's still, I think, in the female range)
I also almost exclusively use female toilets, unless I'm at work or familiar with the place and people there. After I came out as trans, I began to use male toilets and whilst obviously feeling a bit nervous, it was fine until I was in a bar's toilets one night and a guy struck up a conversation with me! Unless my gaydar was very off, he was straight and we were in a straight bar.
Now that was when I was very pre-T, so I panicked because not only did I not want to talk to him and out myself, I also went on the old "no guy will ever make eye contact with you, care what you're doing etc etc etc" that we are always told. Since then guys toilets seem like a place I should reserve until I'm totally unquestionable as male.
So.... a month ago I started a new job and it wasn't until yesterday when I was having a conversation about job histories and I mentioned I'd quit swimming teaching due to the number of gendered spaces... and the shocked response I got.... that I realised I'd just outed myself and the girl I was talking to had never questioned my gender at all and saw me as a regular guy....
Anyone else had a shock realisation like this???
Sorry for the pre-amble and then the ramble.
Post Merge: December 05, 2009, 10:42:23 AM
I should mention my girlfriend works in the same place, has done for almost two years. So I know a few select people know our relationship pretty well and know about my trans status... I assumed it was something that would be gossiped about and that everyone would know/guess...
When I'm out in public I'm constantly paranoid that someone will realise that beneath my male presentation, I have a large chest which although I bind, is still visible, or that when they speak to me my voice is very female. (It has dropped in the last month or so but it started out very high, so it's still, I think, in the female range)
I also almost exclusively use female toilets, unless I'm at work or familiar with the place and people there. After I came out as trans, I began to use male toilets and whilst obviously feeling a bit nervous, it was fine until I was in a bar's toilets one night and a guy struck up a conversation with me! Unless my gaydar was very off, he was straight and we were in a straight bar.
Now that was when I was very pre-T, so I panicked because not only did I not want to talk to him and out myself, I also went on the old "no guy will ever make eye contact with you, care what you're doing etc etc etc" that we are always told. Since then guys toilets seem like a place I should reserve until I'm totally unquestionable as male.
So.... a month ago I started a new job and it wasn't until yesterday when I was having a conversation about job histories and I mentioned I'd quit swimming teaching due to the number of gendered spaces... and the shocked response I got.... that I realised I'd just outed myself and the girl I was talking to had never questioned my gender at all and saw me as a regular guy....
Anyone else had a shock realisation like this???
Sorry for the pre-amble and then the ramble.
Post Merge: December 05, 2009, 10:42:23 AM
I should mention my girlfriend works in the same place, has done for almost two years. So I know a few select people know our relationship pretty well and know about my trans status... I assumed it was something that would be gossiped about and that everyone would know/guess...
Title: Re: I didn't realise I was passing...
Post by: Silver on December 05, 2009, 10:42:48 AM
Post by: Silver on December 05, 2009, 10:42:48 AM
Heheh, yeah.
I'm pre-T though. Always looked pretty feminine until pretty recently. Then I cut my hair and got some different clothes.
So everyone I know and talk to calls me "she" but I seem to pass fine with people who don't know me. That's a lot better than I thought. It's always a surprise, but a pleasant one.
Enjoy your life as a man.
I'm pre-T though. Always looked pretty feminine until pretty recently. Then I cut my hair and got some different clothes.
So everyone I know and talk to calls me "she" but I seem to pass fine with people who don't know me. That's a lot better than I thought. It's always a surprise, but a pleasant one.
Enjoy your life as a man.
Title: Re: I didn\'t realise I was passing...
Post by: DamagedChris on December 05, 2009, 04:57:35 PM
Post by: DamagedChris on December 05, 2009, 04:57:35 PM
I have this similar problem...I never think I pass, but then I count the number of "sir"s I get at work now and think, huh, maybe I DO pass. There's also days I look in the mirror and think, damn, I look like a guy, and a good looking one at that :D ...and then some days opposite that
Title: Re: I didn\'t realise I was passing...
Post by: Kurzar on December 05, 2009, 05:17:24 PM
Post by: Kurzar on December 05, 2009, 05:17:24 PM
Quote from: Christian >.> on December 05, 2009, 04:57:35 PM
I have this similar problem...I never think I pass, but then I count the number of "sir"s I get at work now and think, huh, maybe I DO pass. There's also days I look in the mirror and think, damn, I look like a guy, and a good looking one at that :D ...and then some days opposite that
Christian...you look great to me ;)
Title: Re: I didn\'t realise I was passing...
Post by: DamagedChris on December 06, 2009, 03:16:54 PM
Post by: DamagedChris on December 06, 2009, 03:16:54 PM
Thanks ;D I just got a little hair taken off the top too...looks a lot better to me. And it could just be me, but was looking in the mirror this morning and thinking, wow, my face looks more angular. I'm hoping the T facial fat distro is starting to kick in...I'm currently 6 weeks on T (though still on a low dose) and my voice is still not as low as I'd like, and I get mixed reviews on if it's actually dropped much...I've been sir'd on the phone twice now, but still pretty much "ma'am"s across the board.
Newest pic:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi142.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fr83%2Fepy0%2FIMG_0591.jpg&hash=66a9f04cf1d1fc0e68cce17140e3e8cf3dd44a06)
Newest pic:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi142.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fr83%2Fepy0%2FIMG_0591.jpg&hash=66a9f04cf1d1fc0e68cce17140e3e8cf3dd44a06)
Title: Re: I didn\'t realise I was passing...
Post by: Radar on December 07, 2009, 10:14:26 AM
Post by: Radar on December 07, 2009, 10:14:26 AM
Something very interesting just happened. A guy who's been working here forever and the whole time since I've been here gave me some paperwork I needed. He said "here you go sir". O.K., I'm not out at work yet so that was odd even though it made me happy. Plus he's late 60s/early 70s which, stereotypically, are more conservative and less likely to tolerate "different" things like ->-bleeped-<-. Of course I'm just stereotyping here. Plus, he's never been snarky or facetious to anybody at work so I don't think that was the reason.
He's the second guy to do this. Each time I never corrected them because they were correct. ;) I have noticed that lately the women have been emphasising and using feminine terms more often- like woman, girl, girlfriend. It makes me want to puke. :eusa_sick: :eusa_doh:
He's the second guy to do this. Each time I never corrected them because they were correct. ;) I have noticed that lately the women have been emphasising and using feminine terms more often- like woman, girl, girlfriend. It makes me want to puke. :eusa_sick: :eusa_doh: