Susan's Place Transgender Resources

you are missing out on being a teenager, in some way?
I see all my guy friends, who are happy, getting girlfriends, having fun, living life basically, and I feel sometimes like I'm missing out on that because of having these problems. Anyone else feel like that?

I don't exactly qualify as a teenager anymore, though I guess I could manage it...
(I'm twenty-three, but have been occasionally mistaken for 18-19  :) )

When I was nineteen, I was doing a student exchange trip. Everyone at the school was wonderfully friendly, cute girls, the whole deal. But I spent the whole year sitting alone at my desk, trying not to cry because I could barely talk to anyone; it was like being on the other side of a glass wall.

Seriously. They loved the exchange students; I was almost like a pop idol. People would kill for the level of popularity I had. And I couldn't respond to anything because I was terrified of how they would react if they saw who I really was.

It turns out, they would like me even more; I did a little 'act-like-a-girl' thing for a few days when I couldn't stand it anymore, which went over well. I might have pulled off a complete social transition if I'd stuck with it; I couldn't imagine a better response, it was basically "Hey! Luna is a girl now! Cool". But years of repression don't give up easily. That psychological block came back and hit me over the head, and Luna went back to crying in the corner. 11 months of constant opportunity wasted.

I'm fighting this block right now, and have only been able to make progress because of a friend who made the first move, and the second move, and the third, and refuses to give up. Even so, progress is very slow.

So, the short form of my longwinded, angsty confession (which I sincerely apologize for) is, yes. I feel like that too. :'(

It was a long time ago but that was EXACTLY what I felt like!

From my early teens I lived part of my life en femme, whenever I could get away from home for a weekend (or when I ran away, which was often) and it was wonderful to be able to live a normal life for those short periods of time. By my later teens it became a lot harder. My friends were (as you say) evolving into serious relationships, become sexually active, and I couldn't, not in the 1960's! They were growing up and I was STUCK, I couldn't go any farther! I quit living part time because it was too painful, too much of a tease, and started to sink into depression. If SRS hadn't become possible when I was 24, I would not have lived to 25 but it DID and I am still here 35.5 years later  ;D

I feel like that from time to time. (no longer a "teen" but I still think 21 is semi young)

I do spend probably a lot more time than the average person doing school stuff, volunteering, and etc but I figure it will be worth it down the line.  And while I did miss the teens, I am so so so so happy that they're over with.  It was so horrible of a time that I never want to go back and be a teen haha.  Besides I have the mid 20s to look forward too if I can ever manage to get somewhere in my transition.

i already missed out on childhood.

What teen life. All I had was teen strife.

I'm sad that I missed out growing up as a girl. I look at teens and uni girls and think I wish I had that. But then I realise, I'm only mid-20s, at least I have (hopefully) many years ahead of me as a woman. Now I just need a job so I can be independent, move along, and get there.... :(

Quote from: Aaron Chris on December 05, 2009, 10:50:08 PM
you are missing out on being a teenager, in some way?
I see all my guy friends, who are happy, getting girlfriends, having fun, living life basically, and I feel sometimes like I'm missing out on that because of having these problems. Anyone else feel like that?

Yeah well. . . I won't really experience it as a guy. Won't get a girlfriend most likely.

I figure though, being born male wouldn't really change very much. I'm not too social and having a penis wouldn't really make me more social. It might improve sexual experiences though. I'd probably be even more insecure since less dominant guys get picked on.

Although my guy friends would probably take me more seriously. Oh yeah, and I'd be a better runner  :P And probably more attractive as a guy than a "masculine woman."

So I guess it's somewhere in the middle.

My teen years have passed - but my transition basically has me picking up my life almost where I left it when I was 17 - only growing into manhood rather than running away from womanhood.

I think what makes the teen years so special is that "finding yourself", the transition into independant adulthood, and the new experiances. I'm finding that those are things we can do at any age - it's just that most people do them as teenagers.

I'm having too much fun right now getting it all together as a mid 20's man, that I really don't regret missing out on being a teenager  :laugh:

High school and teenagers are overrated. Don't sweat it - nobody is as cool, mature or as happy as they seem. At that age, they're all as awkward and uncertain as you are. The people who tell you that their teenage years were the best years of their lives, have lead boring soul crushing adulthoods.

Quote from: Aaron Chris on December 05, 2009, 10:50:08 PM
you are missing out on being a teenager, in some way?
I see all my guy friends, who are happy, getting girlfriends, having fun, living life basically, and I feel sometimes like I'm missing out on that because of having these problems. Anyone else feel like that?

Always. I think a lot about what it would've been like to grow up as a girl...how different I would've been, how much more comfortable with myself I might've been (as comfortable as you can be going thru puberty hah). I think I missed out on a LOT.

I've spent too much time on regrets.  I refuse to give them any more energy.  What is past is past and can't be changed.  With luck I've learned a little from it all, but other than that I'm looking only to the future as the person I always should have been:

Kate

Quote from: Jerica on December 08, 2009, 09:22:56 AM
(as comfortable as you can be going thru puberty hah).

Much more comfortable than one is going through the wrong puberty.

Maybe you're missing out because you think you have a problem.. when the only problem is you're making yourself miss out.

I do feel like that when I end up stressing out over things. If I look out the window of my mind and see past the huge neon sign flashing "transgender", I discover that as long as I'm comfortable with myself [which does not neccessarily mean that I am comfortable with my body, because I'm not] I'm going to enjoy my life more. I gues what I'm trying to say is that, every victory you make in the world to presenting as your gender is wonderful, but you have to capture the better moments and hold onto those when it gets hard.

But then again, as a person with aspergers, I miss out on a lot socially no matter what.

I get where you're coming from. I look at other teen guys and feel the same. But I think that if I were born biologically male, my teen life would've turned out a lot different than it is. Probably for the worse

But yeah, in a way I feel like I'm missing out

I'm 31, but ppl think I'm in my teens sometimes, or in my early 20's. I keep reverse aging... younger and younger every year. o_0

Quote from: gothique11 on December 18, 2009, 04:52:17 AM
I'm 31, but ppl think I'm in my teens sometimes, or in my early 20's. I keep reverse aging... younger and younger every year. o_0

I get that too and I am 32.

I think that the only thing that would have changed if I had been born as a genetic female is that I wouldn't have GID screwing me up (which obviously is a good thing.) Other than that I still would have been an outcast, still would have been labeled as weird by people so not that much would have changed in a lot of ways

Gotta love how people that dont actually qualify to respond to the topic decide to give thier 2cents anyway about how they 'feel' like a teenager... Its not the question..


To answer that, Yeah, actually, I did and do Aaron. Earlier on, (Transitioned at 19) I felt like a bystander, friends got into relationships, did things i couldnt, and I was left as a mere spectator. Happier... dont get me wrong, but i felt like i was missing something. In my earlier teens, I didn't date, i didn't go to all the partys at school... I was a sort of social pariah. I missed out there, but was too deep in depression to really realise it. I guess i miss the fact, but I don't lement it, I have my life now, and im pulling out of the teen nose dive, which for me, culminated in an attempted suicide, then transition sucessfully. All that matters is we actually progress... and living in the past can harm that. Remember it... but dont live it. Otherwise you neglect the present and the future, and thats where we can change things and be happy.

Quote from: The None Blonde on December 18, 2009, 08:35:21 AM
Gotta love how people that dont actually qualify to respond to the topic decide to give thier 2cents anyway about how they 'feel' like a teenager... Its not the question..

Gotta love how people don't get that topics can drift and that in most cases it is essentially harmless ::) . But if you really want to be nit picky None Blonde the original question suggests that it is for transexuals that are currently teens of which you are not, but we appreciate your 2 cents regardless  ;). If you are really worried about it we would rather you simply report it to the mods rather than vent in the forums. Lets keep it positive people.

Cheers
Nicky

I transitioned right as I went into college.  I don't think I'm missing out on anything, in fact, I think I'm at the perfect point in transitioning for me.  I'm dating, I'm doing my school work, I'm going out to parties on occasion and doing what a lot of girls my age (21) are doing.  So I have to worry about getting hormones, and sometimes I worry about passing, or being around safe people.  So what?  Everyone has problems.  Mine just happen to be gender.

As for missing high school and teenager times, I don't.  I observed my girl friends getting into stupid situations and it taught me what to avoid for the future me.  I am actually glad I could learn a few things so I could move on and "catch up" quickly without any hangups.

I missed out on my childhood, I missed out on my teenage years, I missed out on college, and I missed out on my early adulthood. I've always seen girls and women younger than me (whatever my age) as reminders of what ought to have been, and girls and women a few years older as examples of what should be.

I don't feel that nearly as strongly now. I'm not missing out anymore.

Quote from: Aaron Chris on December 05, 2009, 10:50:08 PM
you are missing out on being a teenager, in some way?
I see all my guy friends, who are happy, getting girlfriends, having fun, living life basically, and I feel sometimes like I'm missing out on that because of having these problems. Anyone else feel like that?

This sentiment will continue throughout your life until you change your focus.  If you are always focused on what you don't have, on what was denied to you, no amount of transition will help you - there will always be one...more...thing... you don't have.

Keep your focus on what you do have and what is realistic to achieve, and remember to feel the humility that comes with knowing that it could be a lot worse. ;)

I grew up being not allowed, to laugh dance , sing , play smile, cry, have friends, hurt, go places or walk away, have an opinion, talk, so many more things.

No amount of changing my focus will change that. The future is another story but it ain't here yet.

I do believe that I missed out on a great deal then. There will always be things I miss out on but at least now I am allowed to try and that is what I do.

I'm still in my teens and well...Yes there's things that I'll likely miss out on AND HAVE ALREADY MISSED OUT ON but dwelling on it is no good.

Sooner or later...Good karma will come back on you and me and those moments you missed won't be the same as your teenage ones but slowly and progressively over time, they will be made up.

Quote from: LordKAT on December 20, 2009, 10:58:09 PM
No amount of changing my focus will change that. The future is another story but it ain't here yet.

Nope it won't, but no amount of focus on it will change it either, and it is likely just to make it worse. ;)  I lost my mother this year prematurely due to a mistake made during a routine surgery.  It sucks, it happened, but my focus is elsewhere.  If I put my focus back on her death, I will become depressed, but generally, I can control what I put my focus on.  I choose to look at my life going forward and focus my energies there - doing so allows me to be happy.  My sister however has been stuck on that day since that day, and failing after failing she has had since can be looked at in terms of focus - she continues to feel it unfair and that life sucks without her support base (her mother).  She is not looking forward, she is not looking at the positive, at the wonderful things she still has going for her and as a result, she continues to lose them - one by one.

I've seen this constantly with the trans people I've known.  No matter how far they get, they stay focused on all they've lost.  Each younger transitioner burns them up, each genetic person of their desired sex makes them feel fury at what they take for granted, they cannot get out of that hole.  They never stop, breathe, look around them and say, "Wow!  Look at all I've done with the hand given me!"  They are never satisfied, never happy.  That attitude, that result, starts early, and if you don't curb it soon, it can rule you.  Years will go by, you'll look back at your failings and wonder, "What happened?"  The answer you'll come up with?  "Look at what ELSE has been denied me due to my GID!" and they continue in the same cycle.

Focus is so important and its influence on our future happiness cannot be highlighted enough!

Quote from: interalia on December 20, 2009, 11:24:34 PM
Nope it won't, but no amount of focus on it will change it either, and it is likely just to make it worse. ;)  I lost my mother this year prematurely due to a mistake made during a routine surgery.  It sucks, it happened, but my focus is elsewhere.  If I put my focus back on her death, I will become depressed, but generally, I can control what I put my focus on.  I choose to look at my life going forward and focus my energies there - doing so allows me to be happy.  My sister however has been stuck on that day since that day, and failing after failing she has had since can be looked at in terms of focus - she continues to feel it unfair and that life sucks without her support base (her mother).  She is not looking forward, she is not looking at the positive, at the wonderful things she still has going for her and as a result, she continues to lose them - one by one.

I've seen this constantly with the trans people I've known.  No matter how far they get, they stay focused on all they've lost.  Each younger transitioner burns them up, each genetic person of their desired sex makes them feel fury at what they take for granted, they cannot get out of that hole.  They never stop, breathe, look around them and say, "Wow!  Look at all I've done with the hand given me!"  They are never satisfied, never happy.  That attitude, that result, starts early, and if you don't curb it soon, it can rule you.  Years will go by, you'll look back at your failings and wonder, "What happened?"  The answer you'll come up with?  "Look at what ELSE has been denied me due to my GID!" and they continue in the same cycle.

Focus is so important and its influence on our future happiness cannot be highlighted enough!

I agree with you, it is better to focus on what you have because you will be more productive, however... some people struggle with getting there and there are times when I can do it and times when I simply can't or the struggle is double. The problem with these situations is that people need to know how to move on, some haven't found the solution yet.

For me, the issue wasn't as much what I'd lost, but that every time I was reminded of it, it would remind me of what I was continuing to lose. Without that, it's not nearly as big of a deal.

Quote from: interalia on December 20, 2009, 11:24:34 PM
Nope it won't, but no amount of focus on it will change it either, and it is likely just to make it worse. ;)  I lost my mother this year prematurely due to a mistake made during a routine surgery.  It sucks, it happened, but my focus is elsewhere.  If I put my focus back on her death, I will become depressed, but generally, I can control what I put my focus on.  I choose to look at my life going forward and focus my energies there - doing so allows me to be happy.  My sister however has been stuck on that day since that day, and failing after failing she has had since can be looked at in terms of focus - she continues to feel it unfair and that life sucks without her support base (her mother).  She is not looking forward, she is not looking at the positive, at the wonderful things she still has going for her and as a result, she continues to lose them - one by one.

I've seen this constantly with the trans people I've known.  No matter how far they get, they stay focused on all they've lost.  Each younger transitioner burns them up, each genetic person of their desired sex makes them feel fury at what they take for granted, they cannot get out of that hole.  They never stop, breathe, look around them and say, "Wow!  Look at all I've done with the hand given me!"  They are never satisfied, never happy.  That attitude, that result, starts early, and if you don't curb it soon, it can rule you.  Years will go by, you'll look back at your failings and wonder, "What happened?"  The answer you'll come up with?  "Look at what ELSE has been denied me due to my GID!" and they continue in the same cycle.

Focus is so important and its influence on our future happiness cannot be highlighted enough!

I'm agreeing with you. I can't change what happened , I can work on doing better in the future. Sorry I'm not very good with words.

Quote from: LordKAT on December 21, 2009, 12:43:31 AM
I'm agreeing with you. I can't change what happened , I can work on doing better in the future. Sorry I'm not very good with words.

NP!  Your avatar rocketh by the way!

I don't even feel like a teenager. My parents certainly don't treat me like one. They basically make me take full responsibility for everything in my life, besides the financial part. It doesn't affect my relationship with my parents, although if I were born a guy, I could have avoided all those hours arguing over clothes and hair with my mother. Socially, I would probably have some more friends because I would be more confident, and some peers and my parents wouldn't think it's weird that i have a girlfriend. I don't think I'm missing out on much though.

Quote from: interalia on December 21, 2009, 12:47:10 AM
NP!  Your avatar rocketh by the way!

Thanks

Quote from: mL on December 23, 2009, 01:33:36 AM
I don't even feel like a teenager. My parents certainly don't treat me like one. They basically make me take full responsibility for everything in my life, besides the financial part.

That actually sounds very much like a normal teenage development.

The way I figure it was that I gained at least as much as I lost. I got to go on a big exciting adventure at a very young age. True I probably wouldn't have chosen it... but with exception of a couple of years in my late teens I had a pretty good time making up my own rules as I went along and figuring that anyone (of either sex) who wanted to object could go hang cos I wasn't like them!

Plus the few things which I really did lose, like for example going to uni as an unambiguous female, I have taken deliberate steps to reclaim and revisit in later life. That's partly why I did my MA last year. I got to play at being a young woman again, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

So whilst I understand why you might feel as you do, Interalia is completely right. Positive focus is important otherwise you will also miss out on all the things you CAN have.

Nicky: Actually, if you're being nitpicky... i DID transition in my teens, and thus, my response is entirely ACCURATE and apropriate. The fact im now 22 still qualifies me as 'young'. So I don't quite see your point.

Aside from the trans issue, I spent my teen years more or less drunk.
I still feel I missed 'em....

I just choose to use it as an excuse for being well in touch with my "Inner child". ;) Never "grew up" anyway.

Well I don't feel like I really missed out on much to be honest.  I still had a lot of fun in high school, had a lot of sex, went to a lot of parties, fell in "love", all the typical high school things.  But it would have been cool if I could have started T before puberty or something.  Most of my friends in high school were girls, it would have been cool to be one of the guys and experience male socialization.  All in all it doesn't bother me that much though.  I'm only 19 and have a lot of my life left to live as a guy

Well I transitioned a year and a half ago, and have passed 100% since I got a haircut and began binding. I'm in a very accepting place, and although I am extremely lucky to be able to live as a guy, and for the most part, be the stereotypical popular kid as I easily get boyfriends or girlfriends, am considered attractive, charismatic, etc. And I am somewhat stealth to people who didn't know me from before.

But I am still held back by the parentals, the father in particular who feels the need to call me a she wherever we go. So many confused waiters...But anywho. I truly feel like I could have the "perfect" childhood experience if I'd been born proper. But I realize that I am as close as I could ever get, and a whole lot closer than 99% of ts/tg kids so I'm completely satisfied.

Quote from: LordKAT on December 06, 2009, 06:05:39 PM
What teen life. All I had was teen strife.

I'm digging the optimism.

I must be in the minority; I really don't feel like I missed out on anything. Sure there was (and is, I suppose) the additional confusion and complexities, but I've had relationships, done what I want, and am where I've always wanted to be right now. I'm still young though, so we'll see what happens.

Quote from: Jerica on December 08, 2009, 09:22:56 AM
... I think a lot about what it would've been like to grow up as a girl...how different I would've been, how much more comfortable with myself I might've been .... I think I missed out on a LOT.

I to have thought about how my life would have been different and in some ways my curse was a blessing - I would have got into SO MUCH trouble!!! I was bad enough anyway but being fertile would have been a disaster  :-\ 

No matter how one lives one's life, when things that should be choices are, by circumstance, not even options there are bound to be regrets. My one huge regret is not being able to have children (which I very much wanted), denied first by infertility and later by circumstances that made adoption unwise.

But when I look back on my 60 years, particularly the last 35 (since transition/SRS), I am amazed by what I have done. The direction of my life was set by circumstance but within the options open to me, I did well, far more than I would have if the first 24 hadn't taught me how to stand my ground and keep pushing for the things that were important to me, how to face and overcome my fears, and to have faith in myself.

I am not Christian but there is great wisdom in the serenity prayer:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

        --Reinhold Niebuhr

I've seen this constantly with the trans people I've known.  No matter how far they get, they stay focused on all they've lost.

Oh, its not exactly unique to trans persons.  Everyone has three choices, you can live in the past, or the future, or you can be here now.  And lots of people make the wrong choice all the time.  Looking at the past and all you've lost is just as bad as those who are living for heaven or some other pie-in-the-sky-by-and-by reward in the future where they will gain everything.  Those two choices are pretty much flip sides of the same coin.  The reality is that there is only here, only now, and that's the only thing you can really effect or change. 

Quote from: Aaron Chris on December 05, 2009, 10:50:08 PM
you are missing out on being a teenager, in some way?
I see all my guy friends, who are happy, getting girlfriends, having fun, living life basically, and I feel sometimes like I'm missing out on that because of having these problems. Anyone else feel like that?

completely :/

Ever since I had been labeled into the "other" category when I was 9, things have just been.

I may have missed out on something, but can I have really missed out on it if I didn't realize it at the time?

It all depends on how you look at things. I'm trying hard to focus on what is to come because that is what matters. That is what our lives will be. We've found ourselves and now we just need to be ourselves.

Optimism is key. Try it. I've always seen the glass as half empty, but I'm trying to see that there is still something in the cup.

Quote from: Aaron Chris on December 05, 2009, 10:50:08 PM
you are missing out on being a teenager, in some way?
I see all my guy friends, who are happy, getting girlfriends, having fun, living life basically, and I feel sometimes like I'm missing out on that because of having these problems. Anyone else feel like that?

In a way i do because i didnt get to experience many things a GG would have been through. But...I always had feminine facial features,long hair, small hands, etc. so would often get mistaken as a girl...LOVED IT! until they said "sorry".
Even then i still feel like a chunk of my life is missing. Im 19 right now on hormones, planning to go f/t asap, and hope to have a long life living as the gender i know i truly am.


<3

there are always two sides to everything -- i did miss out on my teenage years experience growing up as a girl, and sure i did go to some extreme ends trying to conceal my puberty changes in high school...very unpleasant and tough times...but on the other hand i look at it as a unique experience 99.999% of other women my age have no idea about.

not to say that girls had it easy, but growing up as a boy comes with greater expectations on some attributes: independence, lesser tears, bigger guts, etc., and these attributes i find rather helpful in my current life...and somehow they get magnified on a girl than on a guy :)

of course sometimes i look at two college kids holding hands and would wonder what it would be like if i can be like them, but at the end of the day its today that is more impt than fanciful 'what-if's.

I am far from young, but I think it is probably good that I didn't have a vagina when I was young.  I would have gotten into all sorts of trouble.  It was before reliable birth control, and as stupid as I was then I probably would have been pregnant before I got out of high school.  It's just as well things worked out as they did. :)

- Kate

Quote from: K8 on January 08, 2010, 04:07:44 PM
I would have gotten into all sorts of trouble.

LOL! I have often said that myself! Having lived part of my teens en femme (after age 14) I know how easy it would have been to do stupid things and get caught up in the passion. Having no 'natural roadblock' would have been disastrous!

But with no natural roadblock you'd also have had the female upbringing and parenting that would have 'checked' the horny teen desires forcibly if required lol.

It is very annoying to see life passing me by and lots of experiences being lost. Really though even if I had magically transitioned when it really began to effect me, it wouldn't have worked out too well. I wouldn't have been ready. I don't think I currently am either.

I have a plan for the future, and currently I'm building my life towards it in very realistic terms.

I was just thinking about this lately and it kind of made me sad. I feel like I completely lost my (boy) childhood. I was very shy in high school because I felt I never fit in. I never fit with the girls, but I felt I couldn't fit in with the guys since I wasn't one (physically). It hurt a lot and I am still in that boat a bit in college. Slowly changing my appearance I've felt that I fit in a bit more and the community is more accepting, but it's still hard....

The funny thing is I'm in High School right now. I'm a young trans. Also, I don't feel like I've ever missed anything...And all these people you know getting all the boyfriends/girlfriends, popularity, etc. etc. are soon going to go to the dumps...Just like most celebrity couples, it's just a quick fix! So when you take the time to appreciate what you have and you're about the ripe age of 30-40...

Instead of looking old, tired...Divorced, broke...And barely hanging on. Since you have had to live two lives and go through hell and back, you'll have a respectable head over your shoulder and you may not be the richest but you'll sure be living well.

I just turned 20 yesterday, and I feel like my whole teenage life was wasted because of this. Well hopefully once I start T, my 20's will be when I can finally start living.

it's just a quick fix! So when you take the time to appreciate what you have and you're about the ripe age of 30-40...

I knew you had it in you girl!  That's about the smartest thing I've read on here in months.  What you need when you finish HS is not a BF/GF, but the grades to make sure you can do something more than ask people if they want fries with that, or what size coffee they want.  Too many people wake up at some point and realize that the 'year they took off college' turned out to be a decade - their friends have masters degrees and more, and you ain't even got an AA.  That messing around with entrance level jobs - oh that one was just not right, I didn't like the second one, the people on the third one didn't like me and so on, realize about the time they are 28 or so that they are going into their fourth/fifth entry level position and their friends are buying houses while they are still playing with roommates.

Make every decision like it's going to last a life time, because most do.

Quote from: Mimi on January 24, 2010, 09:54:30 PM
The funny thing is I'm in High School right now. I'm a young trans. Also, I don't feel like I've ever missed anything...And all these people you know getting all the boyfriends/girlfriends, popularity, etc. etc. are soon going to go to the dumps...Just like most celebrity couples, it's just a quick fix! So when you take the time to appreciate what you have and you're about the ripe age of 30-40...

Instead of looking old, tired...Divorced, broke...And barely hanging on. Since you have had to live two lives and go through hell and back, you'll have a respectable head over your shoulder and you may not be the richest but you'll sure be living well.

Eh no. Not everyone in a relationship, or popular, is going to have a terrible life... interesting justification, but not so true...

and you CAN be the richest.... its the same ammount of effort it takes a non trans person to suceed and make it... we all can, trans people just seem to sometimes not want to because they are 'so happy' by being thier gender, they make that thier life, and live just thier gender, forgetting to be anything else... like a person. Why settle? you seem to be suggestin that.

Yeah I missed out on a bunch, I came out midway through high school but wasn't able to do anything.  Same with college, I was stuck in the middle for ages and really wasn't able to do much.  I never even approached a sorority even though I wanted to and I spent way too much focusing on my issues instead of doing things.  Seeing as I'm only getting to hormones now I've missed out on the first few months of grad school too, wrapped up in issues.  I'm only 22 so high school wasn't that long ago and I managed a 4 year undergrad. 

Anyone transitioning in their early & mid 20's, maybe out for awhile but held back transitioning because of circumstances?  The high school issue reminded that it seems like there's 2 distinct camps of transitioning folk, the early teens & the +35 folk, those of us in the middle seem to be few & far between.  I say this because it feels so akward in middle of the age groups, you can kinda relate to both but don't really fit in with either.  It's a serious question even though I realize it's kinda ironic also, it just has been on my mind a lot lately.

Quote from: WillowG on January 31, 2010, 02:42:45 PM
Yeah I missed out on a bunch, I came out midway through high school but wasn't able to do anything.  Same with college, I was stuck in the middle for ages and really wasn't able to do much.  I never even approached a sorority even though I wanted to and I spent way too much focusing on my issues instead of doing things.  Seeing as I'm only getting to hormones now I've missed out on the first few months of grad school too, wrapped up in issues.  I'm only 22 so high school wasn't that long ago and I managed a 4 year undergrad. 

Anyone transitioning in their early & mid 20's, maybe out for awhile but held back transitioning because of circumstances?  The high school issue reminded that it seems like there's 2 distinct camps of transitioning folk, the early teens & the +35 folk, those of us in the middle seem to be few & far between.  I say this because it feels so akward in middle of the age groups, you can kinda relate to both but don't really fit in with either.  It's a serious question even though I realize it's kinda ironic also, it just has been on my mind a lot lately.

WilloG - I understand where you're coming from. I'm 22 also and have felt many of the things you describe. I'm just starting to make active steps to transition (hair cut, clothes, natural hormones, etc.), but I still don't have financial means or family support to do all I would like to so in a way I'm suck in that situation as well.

Maybe this is a horrible generalization on my part so I do apologize if I am assuming incorrectly, but it seems as if those younger teens that do transition have the support of their families and those that are older 35+ have their own financial stability. I depend on my parents for financial support completely and they are paying for school, which I can't risk losing. They are very homophobic so I can only imagine how transphobic they would be. I can only do baby steps until I am out of their financial hold....sorry, I rambled and vented!!

Quote from: T2Logan on January 31, 2010, 04:09:55 PM
Maybe this is a horrible generalization on my part so I do apologize if I am assuming incorrectly, but it seems as if those younger teens that do transition have the support of their families and those that are older 35+ have their own financial stability. I depend on my parents for financial support completely and they are paying for school, which I can't risk losing. They are very homophobic so I can only imagine how transphobic they would be. I can only do baby steps until I am out of their financial hold....sorry, I rambled and vented!!

I think your generalization has a certain truth, Logan.  I can't see how it would be possible for a teen to transition without family support - maybe extended family, but family nonetheless.  I don't know about the 35+ age, though.  Often people are in long-term relationships by then - marriage, whatever - and have obligations they must meet. 

I am three times your age, and one real advatage I had was that I have no family obligations.  I am a widow, my daughter is grown and on her own, and if my brother and sister objected then so what?  (They didn't.)

When you are still dependent on your family, then you have a number of restrictions that others don't have.  So ramble and vent away. ;)

- Kate