Susan's Place Transgender Resources

There's this guy I been seeing infrequently for about a month, he's older like 38, and I'm 18. But we didn't have sex, and I was with him and he doesn't push me. Okay, age has nothing to do with this question.

I really like him, but he's just not attractive to me but I like him a lot for who he is, and I don't know if he loves me yet. I want a guy to be madly in love with me, but he just treats me like a friend. I talk to his this night, and then he said goodbye because he needs to go to sleep. I would think if we haven't spoke for a few weeks he would want to spend hours with me.

But he told me to be safe at the gay clubs, since he thinks creepers would ask me. And I doubt it, since I feel really ugly, and then he told me I am attractive enough for them too. But he didn't say hot... or I'm good looking, and I guess I was fishing him to say that.

I know he travels a lot, like now he's going to Florida this week, and last week Chicago (he makes like 100-150k a year). I guess I want him to buy me a nose job, but I don't want to sound like a gold digger. But I am saving my money, but I really want a new nose now (and lips). I want to ask him to loan me a few k, and I will pay him by the end of 09. But you know that's just craziness.

I don't think he would buy me one though unless he loves me beyond love.

Should I just ask him, or just cancel this train of thought? I just can't see myself getting a nose job until a another year and half.

Bring it up in casual conversation, that you were think about it.  And that you are trying to save for it.  Then just see what he says.  Asking outright is not a good thing.  If you become involved, then maybe, but not not.  IMPO



Hugs and Love
Janet

"...Honey, don't worry any more.  I have figured out what you can get me for Christmas!"

Seems a bit presumptuous if you don't really even like the guy all that much.  Now if the relationship blossoms, why not talk to him about perhaps your entire FFS needs?

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Quote from: Kristi on December 06, 2009, 01:22:05 AM
"...Honey, don't worry any more.  I have figured out what you can get me for Christmas!"

Seems a bit presumptuous if you don't really even like the guy all that much.  Now if the relationship blossoms, why not talk to him about perhaps your entire FFS needs?

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He's bisexual, or at least he saids he is. But I don't think he's going to do that anytime soon.

I would have to make him fall in love with me deeply for that kind of stuff. Like soul mate kind of stuff, and I am not going to do that too him... since I don't know when I will pay him off.  Plus he would say, "You're a freak get the f away from me!"

And if he does date a woman, I am assuming he wants a Marilyn Monroe since he has her plastered in his bedroom.

I like him, but he's my first guy I been with and we haven't been working on our relationship enough since he's gone every weekend. The chemistry is not there yet...

But I feel he wants to show me off to the gay clubs, and teach me about sex, he told me this. He knows I am a complete virgin, since I told him no to even a kiss with him. I want my first kiss to be somewhere romantic, and with someone that likes me, not a first date. Maybe I am just to slow... but the first kiss has to be special you know. And he respected that.

Quote from: Megan on December 06, 2009, 01:29:36 AM

I like him, but........ The chemistry is not there yet...

I guess that's my point.  I personally do not like asking anyone for anything.  But you could do your homework.  For instance, did you know that the nose is the single most dramatic thing a person can do to change his/her appearance?  You could let him know how important that is to you, and get the cost from the doctor you want to do it.  Look for it to be around $7K.  Maybe he is the kind of person who would just love to help.

As an aside, I am sleepless tonight because of the pain and uncomfortableness of just having had that procedure this week.  It is nothing to play with, so be sure you want it badly and can take the necessary time off to recover.

Best of luck!

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Quote from: Kristi on December 06, 2009, 01:41:51 AM
I guess that's my point.  I personally do not like asking anyone for anything.  But you could do your homework.  For instance, did you know that the nose is the single most dramatic thing a person can do to change his/her appearance?  You could let him know how important that is to you, and get the cost from the doctor you want to do it.  Look for it to be around $7K.  Maybe he is the kind of person who would just love to help.

As an aside, I am sleepless tonight because of the pain and uncomfortableness of just having had that procedure this week.  It is nothing to play with, so be sure you want it badly and can take the necessary time off to recover.

Best of luck!

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Oh cool, so did you have to show a picture of what you want done? I am kind of worried about finding a doctor who can get what I want done in my head into reality.

Even if this idea doesn't happen, I am probably going to get it done another year from now. My nose is my only imperfection, along with my skin and eyebrows. But my nose is what I see ugly, and everything else just blends in.

No, Megan, the doctor I went to took pics first and we sat down and he did the computer changes right then and there until we agreed what we both thought it should look like.  I am waiting anxiously to have the splints taken off to see if what I got matches what we drew out.

If you want to read more about it, you might want to read a few of my posts here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,10208.msg450426.html#msg450426 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,10208.msg450426.html#msg450426)

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Quote from: Megan on December 05, 2009, 11:24:59 PM
I want to ask him to loan me a few k, and I will pay him by the end of 09. But you know that's just craziness.

Do you mean that it's craziness to believe that you'll pay him back by the end of '09? Because, you know, it IS the end of '09.

I have to be honest; I think it would be presumptuous of you to ask him. I think you would sound like a gold digger. But that's me. Then again, if you do it right, you might be able to manipulate him into suggesting the loan himself. But would you feel right about that?

If you have steady employment, you might try applying for a surgery loan, but the bank might think you're too young.

How much more money do you need to save, and how long will it take to save it? Can you ask your family for help?

Sorry Honey,

This really makes you look like a very shallow gold digger .

You could try I'll give you a ->-bleeped-<- every day for the next  XXX days/months, if you pay for a nose reconstruction.

Sadly prostitution is the same word no matter how it is spelt.

I don't mean to be offensive

Cindy

Quote from: Arch on December 06, 2009, 02:23:49 AM
Do you mean that it's craziness to believe that you'll pay him back by the end of '09? Because, you know, it IS the end of '09.

I have to be honest; I think it would be presumptuous of you to ask him. I think you would sound like a gold digger. But that's me. Then again, if you do it right, you might be able to manipulate him into suggesting the loan himself. But would you feel right about that?

If you have steady employment, you might try applying for a surgery loan, but the bank might think you're too young.

How much more money do you need to save, and how long will it take to save it? Can you ask your family for help?

Yeah I meant by the end of 10'. My work is steady but it takes forever to get enough money, it will take me another whole year of work to get enough money for a decent nose job. I have 2 k saved up so far.

But I am going to get a second job so I will assume I can do it.

Oh and I told my mother (which is basically the family) I am going to fix my skin, and she was like, "Noooo! no!!! blah blah".

Plastic surgery is a common discussion in house though, but not the kind where it changes the bone, but mostly skin stuff.

I don't want to get into debt so I am not going to start doing loans, I just want to be secure to know I can pay most of it if not all the day I get it done. But I wouldn't feel bad about making the guy loaning for it, since I am planning to pay him back.

Cancel this train of thought.
Geez. :icon_no:

The old bikers and truckers used to say (and I'm sure they still do): Gas, Grass or Ass, Nobody Rides for Free.  Though other, more refined persons might well have differing forms of currency, the 'nobody rides for free' is probably even more true.  So, what do you think the payment is going to be?

Quote from: Nero on December 06, 2009, 10:15:15 AM
Cancel this train of thought.
Geez. :icon_no:

BWAAAHAAAA!   Nero,  next time please tell us how you really feel about it, OK?

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Not to sound like a floosy, but if he wants to spend 7k for a piece of booty then personally I'd take him places he didn't even know existed and back then sideways. I'd ruin him for all other women, believe me. I don't see a thing wrong with it.

The place where I start having moral issues is if you lie about having feelings about him to get him to do what you want, so I suggest if you don't love the guy then start acting like a gold digger now. He'll get the idea and either take it or leave it.

Very few people even get into a situation where they can not say 'no' and don't wind up regretting it.

QuoteShould I just ask him, or just cancel this train of thought? I just can't see myself getting a nose job until a another year and half.

Have you had any morals or ethics education?