Susan's Place Transgender Resources

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[19:59:21] <FlanHusky> Laura: even in the redneck hellhole part of the metro i live in, nobody has said a word about my purse

(reposted from chat for effect and post count :P )

but really, nobody cares that I wear a purse and look queer at the same time

If you are full time, then why not.  And it is a great place to carry something to help with the dry throat.  ;D



Hugs and Love
Janet

Laura, you've got to get yourself a purse.
Imagine how embarassed you'll be when someone in the ladies room wants to borrow some feminine supplies from you
and you have to reach into your back pocket for a selection of maxipads!

A woman need a purse.  In fact I think it is somewhere in the rules. ???  ;D

What are you going to do with your wallet?  Back pocket?  Well, Well ain't you Butch.  jk



Hugs and Love
Janet

My friend does the same thing.  Me?  I have several purses.  A woman can never have enough purses.



Hugs and Love
Janet

A couple of months ago I was trying to find a cheap hair trim that wasn't going to be *too* cheap (I have long hair, so I don't trust a barber/mens' hair cutting place/discount clipper.)

I found out that JCpennys actually has a salon. And I went there, and they were the cheapest I'd seen for an actual salon. I was floored because I had no idea they existed. And the woman at the counter said that everybody says that... (ADVERTISE, argh, I hate corporate.)

Anyway, I expected them to be my reservation. I was there with no bra, no purse, I had just been lasered and electroed so my face looked like complete ->-bleeped-<- so I was going to come back later. "Oh no you can walk right in. Let me see if he has time. DO you have time to cut a lady's hair?"

Oh crap  :laugh:

No way I was going to out myself at that point, so i filled out stuff female and got a wonderful experience, and I'll definitely go back for my next cuts. They gave me a complimentary compact for my first visit (and I didn't have one yet, so...!!!!) and when I asked her for a bag for everything she said "That's what happens when you don't carry a purse!"

Point taken.  :laugh:


Because of damage in my thighs from tight pants and cramming my pockets full of junk because I didn't have a purse, I can't carry anything in my pockets at all. So even at school I started carrying my 'purse' (which is technically a travel bag.) I've gotten questioned by guys in my classes about it and I told the truth - it really was medically necessary for me. and I also told them that it's so much more convenient to whip out paper towels, wet naps, hand cleaner, my next dose of HRT, change, headphones, my GID letter, etc (well I didn't tell them the entire list) when I need it than to try to make do with a tiny wallet and a pocket or three.  Frankly I think men are bleeding stupid for not carrying purses. Hurrr girls have so much crap they lug around... and it's awesome. I'm like batman. I want a bigger purse.

And you probably stand out more as a woman without a bag than with one. Earrings, makeup, a bag, and other female quantifiers are used to identify you when people can't tell or it's borderline. My bag is unisex, but seeing a guy with a mini travel bag is so rare that it's assumed a purse.  High ponytail or an updo, hoop earrings (studs are unisex though usually crystal or black for men) and other touches are things that men *can* techically do but push us over the edge. Whereas they are things that people who know me as a guy don't usually think are too outrageous, at least to confront me about for the most part.

I am personally still afraid of going out in a spaghetti strap/cami or a skirt/shorts. If I get clocked in a button down shirt and jeans or slacks or a tank top or t shirt or whatever, it's not the same in my head as being outed as a 'man in a dress' or skirt or whatever. I need to get some winter/fall skirts and get over it, though. How the hell do you coordinate shoes with skirts!? Argh.

I had several women make fun of me for carrying my money in my jeans pocket because it is unladylike.  I always carry a purse but have had other women comment that they never carry one and ask if I'd ever left it anywhere.  (Once.)  You can't win.

I carry a purse because all the clothes I wear other than jeans don't have adequate pockets.  (I think the women who don't carry a purse put their stuff in their coat pockets, but then I want to use a comb or add lipstick in the ladies room and my coat is somewhere else.)

This being a woman is tough.  >:(

- Kate

this is funny because one of the first things I got when I started transition was a wallet for my back pocket.  and I thought: how FREEING!!!  Why didn't I think of this sooner??  LOL

Enjoy your purses.  I'm enjoying the freedom from them.  And whatever did I lug around that is now so unnecessary?  Oh yes.  The 'supplies.'


Jay

Maybe that is why you are looking for a girlfriend?  Revenge of the FtM....get a girlfriend, who has a purse and then it's "Here Honey. Can you carry this for me".  ;) :D ;D jk



Hugs and Love
Janet

I used to carry around a handbag even before I was fulltime, nobody ever seemed to think it was a big deal and I don't understand why it would be. There are girly ones but also plain and utilitarian ones.  Now I have several of them in different sizes and styles and colors to match my outfit lol

Quote from: sneakersjay on December 08, 2009, 02:39:43 PM
this is funny because one of the first things I got when I started transition was a wallet for my back pocket.  and I thought: how FREEING!!!  Why didn't I think of this sooner??  LOL

Enjoy your purses.  I'm enjoying the freedom from them.  And whatever did I lug around that is now so unnecessary?  Oh yes.  The 'supplies.'


Jay

This.

I like not having to carry a bag :).

(In the "past") I used to carry a small plain black canvas bag with my phones, smokes, lighter, wallet, keys and codeine.

Apart from the last item, that all fits in my pockets just fine. I don't really see how a bag is something that's required if you've got pockets.

In fact, ditching the bag was the first move I made in consciously changing my presentation.

Judging by some of the handbags and purses I've seen women carry - functionality isn't the first factor in bag selection!  :laugh: Women carry bags for fashion, not function.

If you feel bad about buying one, you can always buy online.  Either way, just buy some already! It's your right as a woman to carry a purse if you so choose!

Quote from: Teknoir on December 09, 2009, 04:53:23 AM
Apart from the last item, that all fits in my pockets just fine. I don't really see how a bag is something that's required if you've got pockets.

Yup.  Traded in the purse and skinny jeans for wallet and cargo pants.  Cargo pants!!!!  Where were they all my life?? LOL


Jay

I ordered a purse from ebay that is compatible with both male and female about a week and a half ago and can't wait to get it! I carry a lot of crap in all my pockets (pants and jacket) and I can't stand that!

Here is the one I ordered.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=250483161294&ssPageName=STRK:MEWNX:IT#ht_5996wt_937 (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=250483161294&ssPageName=STRK:MEWNX:IT#ht_5996wt_937)

When I first started presenting myself as female, one of my mentors explained that I shouldn't carry anything in my pockets because it ruined the lines of my body.

And you are definitely right, Teknoir.  You can use a purse to haul your stuff around, but it is primarily decoration.  ("Oh, what a pretty purse."  "I love how your purse matches your outfit."  Etc.  Those kinds of comments from GGs just make my day. :D)

- Kate

I hated purses. The only bag I ever carried was a black canvas messenger bag. Between that and my laptop bag, I needed no "purse". The last official purse I carried was a small pleather purse that I got from a thrift store. I bought it because it had a shoulder strap that was long enough to be worn across the body for when I had to work and take my phone/keys/ipod charger/wallet, because the &%*$(& who designed my work pants at the time decided that women don't need real pockets, just fake ones.

My mother, grandmother and great aunt always fought me tooth and nail about the purse thing...I have had WAY too many purses shoved at me that I've never even taken the tags off of.

Purses are sooo essential :)
Of course, I'm kind of a pack-rat with a tendency to collect random junk (occasionally I'll clean out a purse that I've carried for a few weeks and find really strange things. Like a bottle of glow in the dark body paint. No idea where that came from.)

If you feel uncomfortable, maybe you could start off with a more gender-neutral messenger bag (I've found some really cute ones that aren't ultra-femme. I love them because they have more room for my random junk!) and work your way up to a "real" purse once you get used to carrying it?

Just a warning though: all of your guy friends will suddenly want you to carry things for them. I thought it was supposed to be the other way around... :D

PICKPOCKET ALERT!!!!!!!!
Sneakersjay and Christian,speaking as a former policeman-
         
     DON'T PUT YOUR WALLET IN YOUR BACK POCKET!!!!

Quote from: aerosolchild on December 11, 2009, 08:09:34 PM
Purses are sooo essential :)
Of course, I'm kind of a pack-rat with a tendency to collect random junk (occasionally I'll clean out a purse that I've carried for a few weeks and find really strange things. Like a bottle of glow in the dark body paint. No idea where that came from.)

Can I use that glow in the dark body paint? I can think of someone to share it with.

Quote from: LordKAT on December 12, 2009, 12:55:06 AM
Can I use that glow in the dark body paint? I can think of someone to share it with.

Haha :D
I actually ended up using it for a blacklight party I went to. It was good fun.

darn, if only I knew where ya got it...

I think Spencer Gifts carries some.



Hugs and Love
Janet

Quote from: aerosolchild on December 11, 2009, 08:09:34 PM
Purses are sooo essential :)
Of course, I'm kind of a pack-rat with a tendency to collect random junk (occasionally I'll clean out a purse that I've carried for a few weeks and find really strange things.

I thought I read in the Woman 101 Manual that you're supposed to change your purse every day.  ??? 

- Kate

Quote from: aerosolchild on December 11, 2009, 08:09:34 PM
Just a warning though: all of your guy friends will suddenly want you to carry things for them. I thought it was supposed to be the other way around... :D

Guilty.

Get a purse, who cares what anyone else may think. I think it's awesome when I'm with a woman who has one of those HUGE purses with a little of everything in it.. I know I'll always have a bandaid/tissue/mirror available. It's like being with a walking drug store.  ;)

That's the spirit Evan ;) I love big purses. In the old days (lol) I used to always carry a backpack so it makes sense hehe. The other day I walked in my friends house and he was like "I don't think I've ever seen a purse that BIG before!" It wasn't even that big what a dork :P

Quote from: K8 on December 12, 2009, 03:08:05 PM
I thought I read in the Woman 101 Manual that you're supposed to change your purse every day.  ??? 

- Kate

I actually know a couple of women who do that, but I'm way to lazy ;)
I also tend to lose stuff whenever I change over. Does anyone else have that problem?

I've seen paint like that at places that sell party supplies and the like, possibly spencers, and anywhere else that might still have leftover halloween stock.

My goodness you are a woman and a woman needs a purse! Come to think of it you need lots of purses and shoes. Where would you carry your makeup without one? Besides a purse makes me feel more feminine even though lots of guys carry purse like bags.

Pam

I think purses are an age thing.

When I was young I only ever carried a small pocketbook - just enough room for some cash and I.D. That evolved to a fanny pack (when they became the rage in the time of Flower Children), the a clutch purse. Now, many years later, I carry a purse the size of a duffel bag (just as most of my friends do). Now, whenever a group of us are together, we can come up with anything from an elastic band to a screwdriver LOL!

Interesting story on pickpockets ....

In my late teens a group of us used to hang out at the local general store (out in farm country), sitting on the pop coolers, chatting, and having fun. In the winter I used to wear a bulky plaid coat (farm kid you know LOL!) and carry my billfold in an inner pocket (right under my boob).

When I went to leave one day and to pay for my pop and snacks, I didn't have my pocketbook. Hum, must have left it at home. No big deal - the storekeeper knew us all so I'd pay the next time I was in. The next morning the police phoned and asked if I was missing anything ..... yea, my pocketbook! Mine and about a dozen others were dropped in a mailbox on the edge of the nearby town. The police said it was a professional pickpocket since only the cash was taken - no credit cards, no I.D.'s - and they were left where they were safe and would be found and returned.

What really puzzled me was HOW my pocketbook was taken! Strangers in a rural area watched pretty closely - they are certainly noticed - and the only stranger in the store that day had wanted a pop out of the cooler I was sitting on so I got down. Now if any man had got his hands anywhere near my boobs I would have been on high alert but somehow he got my pocketbook out of the inside pocket on my coat without me  being aware my space had been violated! Ever so much more talented than today's grab-and-run criminals! LOL!

I have a love/hate relationship with my purse.  Well maybe a hate/hate relationship.

I started carrying manbag purses for years before I came out as a coping mechanism.  So I have developed a very specific need for what my purse has to do.

First, it has to defy the laws of physics and allow me to put *everything* in it and have it fit properly.

Second it should weigh less than an ounce.

It should be stylish and go with every outfit I have.  Every one.

It should have everything in pockets and organized not in a jumble.

It should hand me what I am looking for when I need it.

And if it isn't in there it should go get it.

I'm still looking for that purse.

I went looking for a handbag yesterday and looked at every purse in the shop.  I looked in each one.  I test drove several on my shoulder.  None made the cut.

I hate my current purse.  But then I hated my last purse.  And the one before that.

I hope my next purse is better.

I'll keep looking.

-Sandy

Jane, I got my pocket picked in Rome by some gypsy kids.  I was mad as anything but I had to admire their technique.  I never felt a thing.  I have been much more cautious since and usually separate my money from my IDs.

And Sandy, if you ever find that purse let me know where to get one too. :)  But I'm still new to this and am still enjoying being able to have a bunch of purses to match my various outfits and moods.  So if this magical purse doesn't come in both black and brown (to match my various shoes), then I might not want it.



- Kate

What we all need is a "Bag of Holding", that can change its look to match our outfit.

If I find one, I will buy up a bunch.  Some for gifts and some for EBay.  Can't blame a girl for making a profit.



Hugs and Love
Janet

Quote from: Janet Lynn on December 14, 2009, 07:36:42 AM
What we all need is a "Bag of Holding", that can change its look to match our outfit.

If I find one, I will buy up a bunch.  Some for gifts and some for EBay.  Can't blame a girl for making a profit.

Hugs and Love
Janet

That's it!  I want a TARDIS in the shape of a purse!!!!  WOW!

I think every woman has these same issues.  That's why there are so many choices to begin with.  You can never find the one you want.  It's always some sort of compromise.

And Janet, if you ever find some of those purses (in black/brown/tan/white) I'll take one of each.

Though the gravatic attraction of such a purse might be as strong as a black hole, and everything would be sucked into it.  Eventually our whole universe would be pulled into the purse...

Hmmm...

-Sandy(that would explain *so* much!)

Because everyone's 'perfect purse' is so different, lots of purses get bought and given and never used.  Try Goodwill/SalArmy, the purses tend to be already used to death, or never used at all.

Tekla's point --don't discount goodwill! My family LOVED forcefeeding me purses, and three guesses where they all ended up. tags still attached. I hate throwing away good anything.

Janet, Save me the pocket of holding would ya?  (gotta have hands free for other stuffs,)

Quote from: tekla on December 14, 2009, 11:05:58 AM
Because everyone's 'perfect purse' is so different, lots of purses get bought and given and never used.  Try Goodwill/SalArmy, the purses tend to be already used to death, or never used at all.

That's where I was at.  There was a whole jumble of purses, and I think I pulled every one out of the pile and checked it out.

I found some with gum and hard candy still in it.  Some of them were very nice.

None made the grade.  shucks.

-Sandy

I find it funny that I carry a bag more now as a guy than I ever did as a girl.  I have a black canvas messenger type bag from an army navy store that I have most days. Maybe its a city thing, but I've noticed that a lot of guys have some kind of back pack or messenger bag. I take public transportation a lot, so I always have a book and iPod, as well as my wallet, smokes, lighter, waterbottle, gloves... theres just not enough pocket space.

eta- I used to have a car before I started transitioning, so being able to leave stuff there meant less to carry everywhere...

I admit, I often use a back pack these days. I have to carry too many meds to fit in my pockets.