Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Or do you feel that you still need a few nicks & tucks here & there?

Yes, GRS was the "holy grail" for me.  I've already had FFS & I'm quite happy with my looks.  Maybe in the future I'd consider something else.  I don't know yet.

It's the only operation I've ever had.

There are probably a few things which could be improved. Out of curiosity I asked the question about FFS and a couple of people pointed to some minor issues, but looking around I can see several natal women who have exactly the same issues, and most of them don't go rushing off to be fixed.

So why chase perfection when we live in an imperfect world? All it causes is pain and frustration. Better to reach a place of acceptable compromise and be happy with that I think.

perfection to one may be worst to another. i only have to like me, what others think may hurt but I don't have to live with them, I do have to live with me. Personally, I have plenty of flaws. I don't need to change all of them.

for what it's worth, Jenny, I think your pretty just as you are.

I don't know about "natal women" having the same issues, but when you're fired from your job, discriminated against & denied basic human rights for being or looking transsexual.  Then, something needs to be done.  It doesn't have anything to do with "chasing perfection" or being "beautiful".  If we haven't endured discrimination because of our looks, we don't know. 

Quote from: LordKAT on December 12, 2009, 02:45:12 AM
perfection to one may be worst to another. i only have to like me, what others think may hurt but I don't have to live with them, I do have to live with me. Personally, I have plenty of flaws. I don't need to change all of them.

for what it's worth, Jenny, I think your pretty just as you are.

Thank you your Lordship <<<BLUSH>>> I am sure you too look wonderful.

I do my best, I reckon I look ok, but I gave up on winning that beauty contest years ago.  ;)

I realised right after SRS that I was happy enough to just be an average looking female, I didn't need any more. A state of mind I can highly reccommend.

Quote from: Leslie on December 12, 2009, 02:46:00 AM
I don't know about "natal women" having the same issues, but when you're fired from your job, discriminated against & denied basic human rights for being or looking transsexual.  Then, something needs to be done.  It doesn't have anything to do with "chasing perfection" or being "beautiful".  If we haven't endured discrimination because of our looks, we don't know.

Ahh no Leslie - you took that phrase rather to literally - or maybe I chose poor words... The same "issues" as in having the same "facial features"

I'm certainly not suggesting that they face discrimination or anything like that. In any case I'm not qualified to comment on anything like that because I've never had to face it. I am full of sympathy and admiration for those who do because I know I probably wouldn't have coped at all. So please don't misunderstand my words as any form of criticism of anyone else. I'm talking about me only.

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Post Merge: December 12, 2009, 01:10:40 AM

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Quote from: Pia on December 12, 2009, 03:06:50 AM
Maybe you should reconsider your options.  You look like an overweight dude to me.

Guilty as charged. :) - I am on a diet, but my partner (of the last 21 years) likes my dramatic curves and my F cup bust. Although if you are trying to insult me by suggesting that I look in some way male, then that actually puts you in a minority of one in the last 25 years, because in all that time no one has ever questioned my gender. But hey if that's your opinion you are welcome to it. I and most others seem to disagree.

Here is what I looked like age 24

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm4.static.flickr.com%2F3213%2F2731986516_c8fbdae9cd_m.jpg&hash=621b738e4c5e029859c3f9252a5d97c44a84df10)
Obviously an underweight Dude then I guess ;)

No, no, no Jenny.  No offense taken whatsoever :) I was just addressing that not everybody's blessed with "female" looks & unfortunately some of us need to take care of it through surgery.

Sigh.  We can never discuss anything without personal attacks.  How sad!

QuoteRe: Has GRS been the holy grail for you?

Yes it has.  I'm tired of surgeries.  I've already had too many, Grs. ffs, ba. god I feel like the bionic woman.  I only want to enjoy the rest of my life unless it's absolutely necessary to have anything else done.  I don't know what else but you never know.

FFS & BA was the holy grail for me, GRS just completed and finalized my transition.

Quote from: rejennyrated on December 12, 2009, 03:08:16 AM
Ahh no Leslie - you took that phrase rather to literally - or maybe I chose poor words... The same "issues" as in having the same "facial features"

I'm certainly not suggesting that they face discrimination or anything like that. In any case I'm not qualified to comment on anything like that because I've never had to face it. I am full of sympathy and admiration for those who do because I know I probably wouldn't have coped at all. So please don't misunderstand my words as any form of criticism of anyone else. I'm talking about me only.

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Post Merge: December 11, 2009, 11:10:40 PM

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Guilty as charged. :) - I am on a diet, but my partner (of the last 21 years) likes my dramatic curves and my F cup bust. Although if you are trying to insult me by suggesting that I look in some way male, then that actually puts you in a minority of one in the last 25 years, because in all that time no one has ever questioned my gender. But hey if that's your opinion you are welcome to it. I and most others seem to disagree.

Here is what I looked like age 24

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm4.static.flickr.com%2F3213%2F2731986516_c8fbdae9cd_m.jpg&hash=621b738e4c5e029859c3f9252a5d97c44a84df10)
Obviously an underweight Dude then I guess ;)

Well I certainly agree with you Jenny, Im on a diet myself at the moment, Im very sensitive about my weight, which is one of the reasons I don't post up my avatar photo at the moment, you always get somebody on a board who will pass a hurtful remark and its  mostly women being bitchy towards other women, anyway I think you look really pretty with a big heart, that comes across in your posts.
Hugs p
ps I ment to say I AGREE, hope I wasn't misunderstood, had to modify my post, sorry...

Quote from: pretty pauline on December 12, 2009, 02:07:07 PM
FFS & BA was the holy grail for me, GRS just completed and finalized my transition. Well I certainly agree with you Jenny, Im on a diet myself at the moment, Im very sensitive about my weight, which is one of the reasons I don't post up my avatar photo at the moment, you always get somebody on a board who will pass a hurtful remark and its  mostly women being bitchy towards other women, anyway I think you look really pretty with a big heart, that comes across in your posts.
Hugs p
ps I ment to say I AGREE, hope I wasn't misunderstood, had to modify my post, sorry...

Hi Pauline
I'm with you all the way. The thing is, and this only really struck me yesterday when I was feeling a little miffed about that needless little set-to, we don't all have the same ideals of womanhood. So it's inevitable that some of us are going to feel differently and indeed see ourselves and each other differently.

I came from a family where my great aunt drove trucks for a living back in the first world war, and then to everyones astonishment she went on doing so well into the 1930's (so she was considered VERY odd!)

My great great Aunt was the first woman to be awarded a degree by cambridge, the second woman in the world with a doctorate in mathematics, and one of the first full professors of mathematics at Bryn Mawr college in 1885. You can google her (Charlotte Angas Scott).

My maternal grandmother flew across the Andes in a biplane in 1926!

My mother was a cryptanalyst and was one of only a handful of Wrens to secretly go to sea on active service during WW2 (officially no women ever did, but I can prove that some who were attached to clandestine work occasionally did so "off the record".)

Coming from that sort of female stock what really was the chance of me wanting to be a stereotypical little woman? The only thing that matters in my opinion is that we end up happy with ourselves.

SRS was the thing which did that for me. If others find that they need to do more then I would be the last to question that.

I feel it's about being who we want to be, not who others think we should be, or indeed in the case of the earlier silly little misunderstanding think we should want to be.

No, I have never looked at GRS being the Holy Grail.  I look at the Holy Grail as being the first day I came into my Fortune 100 management job dressed as a woman.  That was the crucible for me and the longing of my years before that, to be able to live as a woman.

I have had almost every surgery except GRS.  And who knows, maybe one day I will have GRS.  I never say "never" in this life.  But right now I feel like it is totally unnecessary.

Although I am preop I fully intend to have GRS. I would not say it will be the holy grail but it will complete my journey. I already look and feel like woman but until I have the proper plumbing I will always worry about some idiot or agency harrassing me. I want to be able to walk around naked and look like all the other woman; besides I like wearing tights. If I don't get rid of my male parts I will always be reminded of natures mistake.

Pam

Like Pam, I am on my own "Quest for the Holy Grail".  One day I will no longer fear mirrors when naked.  It isn't the Be All, End All.  I am that already.  But as a woman I do wish to have the proper plumbing.



Hugs and Love
Janet

I want to say no and I do not think it was a holy grail type thing for me. Yet, my friends have all said that I am very much a different person post-op, as if things had finally come together.

I am I that is all I know.

I humbly withdraw my post... my apologies.

Melan

I wish peeps would focus on the topic at hand rather than derailing it & telling the OP what she should've posted.  It isn't kosher!!  People wanna talk about something else?  it's simple.  they should move on or make a new discussion thread.

The way I understand it & since the OP mentioned 'nicks & tucks', it's very obvious she's talking about other operations.

QuoteOr do you feel that you still need a few nicks & tucks here & there?

Some day, I'd like to get a nose job but for now my priorities are to finish college & get on with life.

QuoteHas GRS been the holy grail for you?

GRS has been miracle for me.  A dream come true.

Certainly, for me, SRS was not 'the Holy Grail' - living a normal life was. SRS was simply the liberation of Auschwitz, being released from the death camp.

Quote from: Northern Jane on December 15, 2009, 04:33:17 AM
Certainly, for me, SRS was not 'the Holy Grail' - living a normal life was. SRS was simply the liberation of Auschwitz, being released from the death camp.

Very well and succinctly put. That's pretty much what I was trying to say very clumsily in the beginning.

grs was what i needed to be whole.  being mentally female wasn't enough.  being physically female wasn't enough either.  i didn't want to be "something in between" or "kind of a female"  that wasn't me. i needed to function as female too and without grs, that was very unlikely.

Holy Grail?  I wouldnt put it that way, but yes it certainly makes you truely a woman.  I had FFS done first then GRS, implants, then labiaplasty.  along with the labiaplasty i also had rino revision, mid face lift cethoplexy (sp) for the eyes, and Malar cheek implants.  I could not have a full face lift as the surgeon wanted to wait the full 6 months until the bone resides more.  The lower facelift will be my last surgery..Hair with me is the on going costly and time consuming annoyance.

Maybe I could start off a new discussion, what was your holy grail, mine wasn't GRS, yes I do now have a vagina, but FFS was definitely my holy grail, some girls are so lucky not to need it.
I had a full facelift, I had brow lift, I had  jaw and chin refinement, had my nose broken twice a rhinoplasty, I also had cheek implants, collagen injections in my lips and a lip lift, teeth whiteing, I had a trachea shave the same time as my grs, nobody sees my vagina only a lucky few, but everybody sees my face, FFS was my ticket to freedom, looking and being excepted as a woman, FFS was my holy grail.
p

Yep..its all about the face and body, lol  Most men look at that first b4 they will find out your personality.  The lower part is after youve got them, so its no biggy, but it is a big part in transition for sure. 

Quote from: Matilda on December 22, 2009, 02:34:57 PM
I also think that hijacking this thread to talk about something entirely different is a little bit rude.



(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi572.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fss161%2Fmatilda23%2F061.gif&hash=8f2301193b0dc73bb2e3c64f938f2048ea1a0591)

Im sorry, I do apologize, that wasn't my intention, sorry
if I offended, sorry.....

p

Quote from: Northern Jane on December 15, 2009, 04:33:17 AM
Certainly, for me, SRS was not 'the Holy Grail' - living a normal life was. SRS was simply the liberation of Auschwitz, being released from the death camp.

I pretty much love this quote.  SRS for me is part of my "holy grail", which is living a normal life.

As Natasha puts it,  "being mentally female wasn't enough, being physically female wasn't enough either".  I did not want to live between genders either and I hated being in between.  I needed to function as a female and GRS provided the means of achieving this.

So, GRS was never 'the Holy Grail' for me.  It was the final step in being able to live and function as a female.  Living a normal life was my 'Holy Grail" and GRS was simply the final procedure that allowed me to do that.

Any future surgery that I may have, will be for a medical necessity, that does not mean to say that I do not considered from time to time, having some procedure that will make me look more beautiful (I might have to, I'm getting old  ;D)

Kindest regards
Sarah B

I don't see GRS as The Holy Grail for me.  I see it as icing on an amazingly wonderful cake. 

I may feel differently once I have it, though.  In the last year I've changed my mind a whole bunch of times as to what I need.  It has always been "I need what I have and want the next step."  When I get to the next step it has been "I need what I have and want the next step."  And so on.  (It's what kept me sane all these years.)  So we'll see. ::)

- Kate

I dream every day about the day I will have a vagina. If I did not know it was possible to get rid of my male parts I might not be able to go on. It is not the holy grail but an absolute necessity. I am a woman on the inside and I need to look like one on the outside.

Pam

My holy grail is a beautiful smile.  Rest is just about convenience.

My holy grail is just to be me and feel complete, not like someone living in limbo, between states of being. Being open about who I am is a start, living as a female will be another step, GRS and actually being the woman I should have been will be amazing.