Susan's Place Transgender Resources

OK.  One thing you have to do when eating a banana or snickers bar or anything else in public that is even remotely arguably phalic is break that SOB in half before biting it, and eating from the middle out to the end. If you don't know why, I don't know how to explain it to you.

Another thing you have to do post-op is be proactive when you see that big doggie coming to stick his nose in your crotch.  Just squat down before he gets there and intercept him and pet the damn doggie and tell him how effing cute he is.  People will buy it.

What if the doggie gives you gas and you fart up it's nostrils?  >:-) Should you have a lighter handy?

 ???

If you want to get a guy's attention, eat a hot dog seductively.  And what is it about dog and the crotch anyway?



Hugs and Love
Janet

I'm with Nero -- why does the dog-crotch issue have anything to do with being post-op?

 

QuoteIf you want to get a guy's attention, eat a hot dog seductively

I'm no expert on guys (well maybe a lil) but I can't remember this ever working. I used to have a habit of eating the skin off them first then nibbling the rest that drove my boyfriend absolutely crazy (in the bad way, lol)

I think this is one of the most awesome posts I've read in a while. I don't eat in public much but I can see the point of the hot dogs and other phallic things and that permanently encoded the second I read it so thank you!


I don't get the dog thing either, but it made me giggle :D

I'm lost too ??? are you talking about real bananas and real doggies?

I use frequent a hot dog stand fairly regularly.

The vendor would give me a super sized wiener although I only paid for a regular  ???

Miss naive pointed that out and asked him about it one day

He said it was okay because he liked giving me the big wiener  ::)

I don't see the big deal about snickers bars... they're rectangular!

Yes, but men and their over active imagination... ::) ;)

You know, the suggestions may have some merit, but there's just no way to know without reasons/logic behind them.
I mean, no one should let a dog slobber up their crotch, so the tactic is sound there, but why is that so important for post-ops?
And why on earth cut everything "elongated" in half? I mean,.. wouldn't that just mean you have two phallic objects instead of one? If you insist on seeing all elongated food items as phallic in the first place that is.

Dogs never went for my crotch til I was post op.  Now they make a bee line for it.  It has more of a smell.  And it's not like they sniff it and move on either.  The point is to intercept them before they have a chance to get there, and avoid embarassment.  Like the bananas, it's not something I had to think about before.

Quote from: glendagladwitch on December 13, 2009, 07:10:31 PMIf you don't know why, I don't know how to explain it to you.

LOL I love it

This HAS to get the prize for the most bizarre (and entertaining) thread for some time!  :D

Personally I just take my delicious banana (or better still cadbury's flake chocolate bar for those in the uk ;)) and nibble it seductively enjoying the instant effect that this has on all the men around. I can tease with the best!

Dogs and crotches have simply never been a good combination anyway...

I thought it was a pretty well known thing about dogs going for girls' nethers. Hormones or the general scent of the batcave or something.

That's crazy cuz when I'm looking for a new man I do those exact things.

That's crazy cuz when I'm looking for a new man I do those exact things.

You'll find that a dog is more loyal and trustworthy than a man.  Rover might even be more willing when football is on. 

Quote from: tekla on December 17, 2009, 10:28:03 AM
That's crazy cuz when I'm looking for a new man I do those exact things.

You'll find that a dog is more loyal and trustworthy than a man.  Rover might even be more willing when football is on.

Depends on the man Tekla.
And the dog.

Either one is going to leave your bed all stinky, I'll stick with a bananna thank you.

Quote from: Becca on December 17, 2009, 11:39:01 AM
Either one is going to leave your bed all stinky, I'll stick with a bananna thank you.

While I agree about the dogs, all I can say is that you obviously haven't been very lucky in your choice of men then! ;) Most of my BF's were actually pretty fastidious in that area... And let's face it when comes to sexual pleasuring a man definitely has the right tools!  ;D

yeah but there's still that damned wet spot. :-\ And I don't mean giving the dog a bath lol

LOL - I have the solution to that. I ride on top! Then when I hop off he has the wet spot! Ain't no flies on me! :)

Quote from: rejennyrated on December 17, 2009, 12:05:14 PM
While I agree about the dogs, all I can say is that you obviously haven't been very lucky in your choice of men then! ;) Most of my BF's were actually pretty fastidious in that area... And let's face it when comes to sexual pleasuring a man definitely has the right tools!  ;D

I do seem to find myself attracted to oddballs that's for sure. I was flirting with some guy in coveralls ringing the salvaion army bell the other night. Heavy, sweaty and usually unemployed, oh hell yeah gimme more.

were they red coveralls, and did he have a white beard? Did his belly shake when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly? Yeah I know what you mean- I'm a pushover for those big, older men as well. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cosgan.de%2Fimages%2Fsmilie%2Fliebe%2Fs045.gif&hash=de56883fd757293852d3473c0d745e12d7344b68)

What is it about those...

Quote from: Becca on December 17, 2009, 12:38:46 PM
Heavy, sweaty and usually unemployed

guys?

I tend to like them more than the pretty or chiseled ones. But healthy is a good thing.

They have to try harder and they know it. Plus remember there's pheromones in their sweat, and being rather robust during lean times tells us that they are good hunters and we should mate with them urgently.

Seriously if I don't get some soon I'm afraid I'm going to lose my ability to write.

Haha :laugh: Oh I agree with you Glenda.  Some cats go for your crotch too.

Quote from: FairyGirl on December 17, 2009, 12:12:05 PM
yeah but there's still that damned wet spot. :-\ And I don't mean giving the dog a bath lol

Put a pillow or a sex wedge under your ass and lower back, it tilts your pelvis up and gives much deeper access. And a towel to catch drippings. At least that's what I've always done with girls when on top. For doggy style... yeah, a towel or something :p it's not that hard.

The towel work for me in the doggie style too, and in case I forgot to bring one I've trained the dog to fetch one after we're done.

Just to lower the tone even further.

For the UK boys and girls there was a Marty Feldman movie that featured a scene where a "blonde bimbo' (a known page 3 girl, can't remember her name) opened the front door sucking on a long cream cake. It was a long time ago :embarrassed: and I remember it being very funny and all the males in the theatre growled :laugh: :laugh:


Cindy

Quote from: tekla on December 18, 2009, 11:13:44 PM
The towel work for me in the doggie style too, and in case I forgot to bring one I've trained the dog to fetch one after we're done.

I used to have a cat that would go crazy and attack anyone I tried to fool around with. It's a little funny to watch a 200lb man naked and excited being mauled by a calico blur. I really loved that cat, and sure miss her  :-\

The most recent dog just likes to watch. He doesn't get involved, doesn't say much, just watches...it's kinda creepy. 

My dog is generally a good dog and he is too short to sniff most crotches

But He did have some bad habits when I first got him  :P

i.e. He liked to watch me go potty and then would try to lick my stuff and I would have to push him away

He finally stopped trying to lick me (Hurray!!!) and doesn't watch me as often now 

When he does watch me he stays just at the door and licks his chops  :P

Virginia, that is one strange dog. Dogs watching sex events is not so unusual.

Quote from: LordKAT on December 19, 2009, 04:22:39 PM
Virginia, that is one strange dog. Dogs watching sex events is not so unusual.

Yes he is. He was the main inspiration for my pets are weird thread

My Iguana's kinda weird too though. But not as weird as my dog  :laugh:

My friend's dog was bi (or maybe indiscriminate) – he would sniff anybody's crotch, wiping off dog snot on your pants or skirt in the process.  You had to be fast around him.  But he's gone on to dog heaven (or ... ).

My friend's new dog is more polite, which is a good thing because I'm not as fast as I used to be. ::)

- Kate