Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I guess I'm officially gay. I know a fellow in my gay men's group who seems to have taken a shine to me ever since I gave him a ride to a party. Not romantic interest, just friend interest. In fact, I barely know him and am staying rather distant because I'm afraid to get too close to anyone right now. Anyone who doesn't already know I'm trans, I mean.

He habitually calls me and other gay men "sweetie." Another gentleman calls everyone "child." Other men of my acquaintance use similar terms: hon, honey, girl. Not me. I guess I don't get it.

He just called me from the ICU. Just before I hung up, I said, "You take care, honey."

Me. Honey. Who woulda thunk it.

Do I finally get my gay membership card now?

I think you have to do something gay first.

haa when I read the title I thought this subject I thought this would be a story about a packer falling out of your pants lol.

Congratulations for your gay, slang? haha

Quote from: Elijah on January 08, 2010, 04:11:08 PM
I thought this would be a story about a packer falling out of your pants

Oh, I really needed that laugh! What a visual!

Quote from: Elijah on January 08, 2010, 04:11:08 PM
haa when I read the title I thought this subject I thought this would be a story about a packer falling out of your pants lol.

Likewise.

Quote from: Elijah on January 08, 2010, 04:11:08 PM
haa when I read the title I thought this subject I thought this would be a story about a packer falling out of your pants lol.

Heh.

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Post Merge: January 08, 2010, 06:29:54 PM

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Quote from: tekla on January 08, 2010, 04:07:19 PM
I think you have to do something gay first.

Like laugh?

Reminds me of when "Love you" just slipped out because for a second I thought I was on the phone to my mum. You can't take something like that back, especially when they return the 'sentiment'... -.-

Not as bad as accidentally calling a teacher at school "mum". Argh it's a shrivel up and die moment.

male or female teacher? Cos that could've been really bad

female, luckily. But she was really hot which made me even more embaressed.

Quote from: Elijah on January 08, 2010, 04:11:08 PM
haa when I read the title I thought this subject I thought this would be a story about a packer falling out of your pants lol.

I thought you must have outted yourself! lol
Congrats man!!
Jay

Quote from: Greg on January 08, 2010, 07:00:45 PM
Not as bad as accidentally calling a teacher at school "mum". Argh it's a shrivel up and die moment.

Ha ha ha!  :D

I remember doing that a couple of times in elementary school! Sheesh I was laughing about this with my family the other day.

Too funny :)

Quote from: Arch on January 08, 2010, 04:04:12 PM
Do I finally get my gay membership card now?

Nope. Sadly, this does not make you gay, just a little less masculine than most straight or bisexual men. If you are gay though just go out and do something gay, after that you can apply for your membership.

I actually have this same problem, I still use terms like honey and dear all of the time. Which is kind of odd because I never really used them when I was living as a female. It is probably just something I picked up from friends, especially my gay male friends. I actually have a lot of female mannerisms as well as terms, most people think I am gay.

I went to a dinner a few months back, I used to frequent it years ago and many of the waitresses there know me. There was one woman working who I had met but neither of us remembered the other one's name, she just happened to be my server that night. When I went to the bathroom she apparently came to the table and asked the girl I was with if she was aware that her date was gay. The girl corrected her, telling her we were just friends and that I am straight. It wasn't until the server went into the back and chatted with her coworkers about it that my name came up and a little light bulb must have gone off for her. When we were leaving she "apologized" to my friend by saying something along the lines of, "It must be because he was raised a girl." Not the best apology, but at least she tried.

I'd have told you to go to the front desk and pick up your copy of the Gay Agenda^TM, but I guess I'm being vetoed. 

Quote from: Cowboi on January 09, 2010, 12:54:31 PM
I actually have a lot of female mannerisms as well as terms

I know a few people who came out of the lesbian community or spent lots of time around women (pre-transition) and say that it took them forever to start "passing"...I wonder if that's because they were so steeped in female circles that they picked up on a lot more mannerisms and patterns that are traditionally seen as female. Certainly they would be more likely to be read as gay post-transition.

I have spent my whole life hanging out with men (mostly straight) and usually avoided women. I wonder if that helped me to "pass" faster. It might also explain why I don't seem to register on people's gaydar, much to my chagrin. I mean, not being seen as gay could be a safety advantage, but I want other gay men to know I'm gay.

Maybe I'm starting to pick up terms like "honey" in a subconscious attempt to fit in. Or maybe it's just rubbing off on me. Anyway, it shocked the hell out of me when I heard myself say it.

P.S. Regarding "doing something gay," I went out to a musical last year; surely that counts!

Quote from: Arch on January 09, 2010, 04:20:55 PM
I know a few people who came out of the lesbian community or spent lots of time around women (pre-transition) and say that it took them forever to start "passing"...I wonder if that's because they were so steeped in female circles that they picked up on a lot more mannerisms and patterns that are traditionally seen as female. Certainly they would be more likely to be read as gay post-transition.

I have spent my whole life hanging out with men (mostly straight) and usually avoided women. I wonder if that helped me to "pass" faster. It might also explain why I don't seem to register on people's gaydar, much to my chagrin. I mean, not being seen as gay could be a safety advantage, but I want other gay men to know I'm gay.

Maybe I'm starting to pick up terms like "honey" in a subconscious attempt to fit in. Or maybe it's just rubbing off on me. Anyway, it shocked the hell out of me when I heard myself say it.

P.S. Regarding "doing something gay," I went out to a musical last year; surely that counts!

I agree with you. You just pick up the mannerisms and speech patterns and sense of humor from the people you spend time with. Despite my high voice and chest (I don't bind) and girl hips I seem to pass. And I think it can only be that my friends are all straight guys so I act like them well enough.

Regarding "doing something gay," I went out to a musical last year; surely that counts!

Nice, I'd give you an "A" in cliche stereotypes, but most of the gay men I know like rock, metal in particular, or at least opera, which is the heavy metal of classical music.  Attraction does not make you gay, actions do.

Quote from: tekla on January 09, 2010, 06:17:26 PM
Regarding "doing something gay," I went out to a musical last year; surely that counts!

Nice, I'd give you an "A" in cliche stereotypes, but most of the gay men I know like rock, metal in particular, or at least opera, which is the heavy metal of classical music.  Attraction does not make you gay, actions do.

Opera's a stereotype as well. But I started going to the opera many years ago. Now that I'm moving and culling through all of my stuff, I'm finding all of the old programs that I saved. What a pack rat...

So, by your definition, a man who is sexually attracted exclusively to men is not necessarily gay? Oooookay. Whatever.

Opera's a stereotype as well

Not in SF where our Opera is World Class by even the most peasant of distinctions.

And I'm just basing the rest on the gay guys I asked, who told me that being gay was not a thought, it was an action.

Quote from: tekla on January 09, 2010, 10:36:39 PM

And I'm just basing the rest on the gay guys I asked, who told me that being gay was not a thought, it was an action.

yep! gay is no longer exclusively homosexual - nowdays you can act gay, speak gay, look gay and still not be gay :D (or at least not be homosexual).

Of course, if you do any of these people will assume you are homosexual, and call you gay and think you sleep with men and if you explain to them that you don't like men they just think you are acting gay or freaky :D
Saw it so many times and probably did it myself (thought that on someone that is) that it's a bit funny ^^

There was a guy staying in the small town I am at and he was in few of the town-arranged cars to the city and back (the town arranges a car to pick up people and get them to the city and back because we have a lot of old people and people without a car and there is not much of bus going through here) and by the way he spoke I kept thinking he is probably gay all the time when I heard him..
A bit cruel but I couldn't help it! he speaks gays :D the way he speaks, how he speaks, what he says.

It is funny many people say that gay talk is "feminine talk" or "girly talk" or even "sounds like a girl" O_o I think it's just its own kind of talk and far from girly.

Quote from: Arch on January 08, 2010, 04:04:12 PM

Do I finally get my gay membership card now?

Not until you redecorate your cottage and learn all the lyrics to Mamma Mia.  ;)

Quote from: tekla on January 09, 2010, 10:36:39 PM
Not in SF where our Opera is World Class by even the most peasant of distinctions.

Ad populum argument. Maybe even bait and switch and/or equivocation.

This thread started out goofy and tongue-in-cheek, and I'd like to keep it that way. No more one-upmanship, please.

Quote from: Myself on January 10, 2010, 01:17:07 AM
yep! gay is no longer exclusively homosexual - nowdays you can act gay, speak gay, look gay and still not be gay :D (or at least not be homosexual).

Well, Tekla's talking about what it takes to BE gay, so I think you and I are talking at cross purposes here.

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Post Merge: January 10, 2010, 11:57:06 AM

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Quote from: Jamie-o on January 10, 2010, 06:49:24 AM
Not until you redecorate your cottage and learn all the lyrics to Mamma Mia.  ;)

Umm, errr...define "decorate." :embarrassed:

Mamma Mia?? No, please, no...<dragged off kicking and screaming>