Susan's Place Transgender Resources

  I guess this question would apply to those who are pre-transition or back in the day prior to transitioning for the rest.
  Since I am not out it could have some rather disasterous effects I guess.
  Here's my question:
  How many have become so comfortable with being female that you instinctively answer or turn your head when someone calls out the name you use?
  I guess this would apply to the guys as well with being male.
  This has made me far more cautious as I catch myself doing this as well as almost signing this name on certain documents. It just feels so natural. I still don't want to out myself yet though for various reasons not worth going into.
  Or am I just the lone air-head?

  Tiffany

I have allways hated my birth name and would go out of my way not to answer to it, but If I herd someone call out my chosen name or some variation of Id turn my head and look at the very least  :)

When I was living a double life (i.e. Part-time) I would hear people call out my old name while as a female and sometimes I would turn my head, but I just made it look like I was seeing who was calling for somebody.  Same thing with somebody calling my current name while I was out as male.  Now I don't react to the old name at all and feel a sense of detachment from it.  Same thing when I hear "sir" called out to the guy standing next to me.  As for signing my name, I went with a signature that would work as both male and female.  With signing emails, it was a bit of a battle not to use "Melissa" as a signature.  Now that I'm back to living one life, things have become so much easier.  I still sign my signature that could be used either way, but that's due to laziness of not wanting to develop a different one.  So in summary, that's some of the reasons why living part-time can be harder than living fulltime.

Melissa

Quote from: Tiffany2 on November 01, 2006, 10:14:04 PM
  How many have become so comfortable with being female that you instinctively answer or turn your head when someone calls out the name you use?

A girl named "Katie" worked in my office, just down the hall, for a few months over the summer.

And much to my surprise, EVERY time someone would yell, "Hey Kate!" I would reflexively start to open my mouth to respond, then catch myself. My boy name sounds somewhat similar, which I think compounded the problem.

Well, Jocelyn doesn't have that problem because the name isn't common enough.  The problem she seems to have is remembering what that name is sometimes! 

I kid you not! She left a message on my phone one time that went like this: "Hey Kelly, it's Josh..celyn...forgot my name...." and sometimes her artwork or scripts that she's been working on for years still say Josh even though she's planning to be publish as Jocelyn whether she's transitioned yet or not! I point it out to her (like the giant brat that I am) and say things like "Who the h- is Josh?!"  It's all in good fun, though.  >:D

Tiffany,

I find that happening to me too.  And, like Melissa, I have a signature that works either way, and also have trouble remembering which name to use at the end of an email.

I know it's going to happen soon that not only do I turn around, but that I also answer.  Still, my names sound similar enough that I could blame that.

Don't worry, hon, you are not the lone air-head...there are lots of us here.  (Did I just have a "blonde" moment?)

Giggles.......Laurie 

I'm still having to remember to respond to mine, actually. It's so hard for me to learn that kind of automatic behavior. But I realized today that I now have the same first initial that I would have been given anyway; my parents had in mind a French name for me but my grandmother said to them "you can't name your kid that!" because it was too similar to the name of someone she didn't like.

Though I too always hated my birth name, and it'd grate on my nerves so much that if asked what it was I'd go silent or slur it beyond recognition, in my mind I still kept automatically applying it to myself all the time. Maybe that's what makes it difficult to adapt to a new one.

I find myself doing this every now and again, usually when I'm out with friends, since some of my friends have recently started to use my female name to refer to me. It's not really a problem most of the time, as I've never really gone by my male name except at work, thanks to the gender-neutral nickname that I've been stuck with since high school :). And I chose a name with the same initial, so I don't really have to worry about signing the wrong name.

I've just started a new job this week, and I don't think there is another Megan in the office, which can only help to make things less complicated.

When I hear the old name it registers but not enough for a response.  Part of it is that I just have not had to answer to it in quite some time and probably because a few jobs I worked we pretty much called each other by our last names most of the time.