Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: Adam on January 11, 2010, 04:37:42 PM Return to Full Version

Title: Passing and Age
Post by: Adam on January 11, 2010, 04:37:42 PM
Do any of you other guys have this problem where you pass, but you look much younger then what you actually are?

I attend college as a guy and haven't told any of my classmates that I'm trans. The new term started today and I got paired up with a new lab partner. After we introduced ourselves, he asked me how old I was. I told him I'd be turning 20 at then end of the month and he said I didn't look it.

And then there was an incident back in September when I went to a welcome barbecue at my college residence. One of the guys I talked to there asked me if I was that 16 year old he had heard about...

Sometimes I wish that I could just pass and look (and sound) like a guy my age. Well hopefully my endo will give me my T prescription at the end of April like planned, so I can finally start appearing my age.
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Nero on January 11, 2010, 04:52:04 PM
Yes. I'm 30 going on 13. Literally.  :laugh:People think I'm early teens. I get referred to as a boy.  :laugh: Oh well, it'll pass as T continues to work its magic. Hopefully.
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Adio on January 11, 2010, 05:20:20 PM
All the time.  Before I got on T (and even now, since it hasn't been that long), I get told I look anywhere between 13 and 16.  With people that don't know me as trans and know me as male, I'm usually able to chalk it up to good genetics (which is true) or something to that effect.
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: myles on January 11, 2010, 08:14:04 PM
Most people think I am between 20-22, I am really 40.
Myles
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Brynn on January 11, 2010, 08:53:29 PM
That's how it is with most pre-T trans guys. I look like I'm around a freshman or sophomore in high school... I'm a sophomore in college.

Good luck getting ahold of that T prescription and (hopefully) soon looking more like your age!
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: myles on January 11, 2010, 09:01:22 PM
This is actually  my after T age issue. Before people thought I was young but more along the lines of 30.I am thinking since this is my first year of T  (10 months) I am in the teenage stage and as soon as I get out of this I will start to look closer to my actual age.
Myles
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Lachlann on January 11, 2010, 09:05:37 PM
I don't mind looking on the youngish side. Just not like... 15.  :laugh:
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Nero on January 11, 2010, 09:11:09 PM
Quote from: myles on January 11, 2010, 09:01:22 PM
This is actually  my after T age issue. Before people thought I was young but more along the lines of 30.I am thinking since this is my first year of T  (10 months) I am in the teenage stage and as soon as I get out of this I will start to look closer to my actual age.
Myles

Me too. I'm actually about 8 or 9 months on T. Of course I have always looked about a decade younger than my actual age, people thinking I was a teen girl well into my 20s. And I never passed (except from a distance) before T. So, YMMV.
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Adam on January 11, 2010, 09:23:14 PM
Quote from: Nero on January 11, 2010, 09:11:09 PM
And I never passed (except from a distance) before T. So, YMMV.

So, do you pass now then?
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Chamillion on January 11, 2010, 10:00:28 PM
Yep I think this happens to every trans guy.  It can get frustrating sometimes.  I was at my school with some friends smoking a cig and some guy taking pictures came up to take our pic.  He looked at me and was just like "Are you old enough to be smoking? How old are you, 10, 11?"  Yeah dude, I'm 11 years old but I hang out at this college with all of my friends who are 19 years old.

That's the youngest someone has said though and I think he was exaggerating.  Before T I passed as like 14.  Now I can get maybe 17, usually 16 tho.  I'll be 20 in a month
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Nero on January 11, 2010, 10:09:53 PM
Quote from: Adam on January 11, 2010, 09:23:14 PM
So, do you pass now then?

Starting to. For the first time in my life. Not consistently. My experience seems to be rare though.
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: owl on January 11, 2010, 10:53:33 PM
apparently i look 14, haha
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Silver on January 12, 2010, 12:49:14 AM
Well I'm pretty sure I'll still look 15 until I get on T. So it's not too far off but I'm moving away from that age and we'll see how long it takes for it to be a problem. Hoping I don't feminise more either.
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Arch on January 12, 2010, 12:49:38 AM
I think it's particularly irritating for trans guys who are already young--say, twenties--because they aren't perceived as even being adults. But I'll bet that at your age you'll soon catch up with your peers.

I've got my fingers crossed for a speedy T prescription.
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: sneakersjay on January 12, 2010, 01:59:15 AM
Before transition people always thought I looked much younger than I am.  I'm 48 but most pegged me mid-late 30s.  Now I think I look at least 40 because I let my hair go gray.

Jay
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Christo on January 12, 2010, 02:05:19 AM
think I look my age. I'm 25 but they still ask me for i.d. when we go out  :D :D :D so I dunno.
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Arch on January 12, 2010, 04:16:46 AM
My father looked very young when he was my age. A few years ago, when I was 44 (pre-transition), my students thought I was in my late twenties. Now, almost a year into transition, I'm habitually pegged as being ten to fifteen years younger than I am; most people think I am in my thirties. I put it down to good genes, staying out of the sun, and being trans. I've only been on T for eleven months, and I still have that boyish androgynous look; the other night, the guys were talking about my "baby face."

It's weird. I see myself in the mirror and think, "Gee, I'm really starting to look my age." But the only people who have even come close to guessing my true age are a couple of trans guys who are accustomed to meeting other trans guys who look much younger than they are. They simply assumed that if I looked thirtyish, I must really be fortyish.

I've been frozen for so long that I actually feel as if I'm much younger than I am. Do any of you younger guys feel that way?
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Silver on January 12, 2010, 04:19:13 AM
Quote from: Arch on January 12, 2010, 04:16:46 AM
I've been frozen for so long that I actually feel as if I'm much younger than I am. Do any of you younger guys feel that way?

Probably my imagination, but as my friends continue to develop I seem to be stalled at just about fifteen or so. I feel left behind.
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Arch on January 12, 2010, 04:22:03 AM
Quote from: SilverFang on January 12, 2010, 04:19:13 AM
Probably my imagination, but as my friends continue to develop I seem to be stalled at just about fifteen or so. I feel left behind.

Yeah, now I remember seeing a recent thread along these lines. I'll hunt it up and read it.
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Hazard "AJ" on January 12, 2010, 04:52:17 AM
I was 22 yeaterday and My sisters friend whos 14 think i was 18. But most people think im 14/15 It dose bother me, But i look at it like this. most people think that we r younger cuz its like we havent started puberty yet, most men r age have deep vioice faceul hair ect, so u cant really expect people to think u are the age u say,
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Hanlet on January 12, 2010, 01:03:21 PM
I usually get mistaken for being fourteen, though I'm almost nineteen. It's only a pain when I get trouble trying to get into clubs or bars, bouncers are never satisfied with my ID  >:(
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: tekla on January 12, 2010, 01:19:03 PM
Yeah, that can be a problem, since the basic bouncer/ID checker rule of thumb is "when in doubt, don't."
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Mr. Fox on January 12, 2010, 02:06:15 PM
People think I'm 14 or 15, and that might be being generous; I think people not at high school think I'm younger.  But it's not that big of a deal, since I'm not an adult yet anyway.
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Mex on January 12, 2010, 06:40:33 PM
i always get asked if i'm 14 or 15. i work at macy's and not a week passes when someone asks me why the hell my parents would sign for me to work at such an early age...i'm just like i turn 22 in january.

mex
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Greg on January 12, 2010, 06:54:29 PM
I'm 20 and most people say I don't look too far off from that. Most people think I'm about 18ish. It helps that I'm just scraping into "average male height" at 5'8" and have a face with less-than-delicate features. Seriously having a huge nose has been a godsend :laugh:
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Radar on January 13, 2010, 09:07:57 AM
People have always said I look younger than I really am. I haven't had any issues where someone thought I was underage except maybe one time. I went to the movies and when I bought my ticket he asked "for an adult?" I may not be sure but it seemed to me like he was questioning if I was underage or not. :-\ That was weird.
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Wolf Man on January 13, 2010, 12:09:27 PM
Maybe it's because I haven't exactly gotten close to people outside my group of friends, but I've never had anyone comment on my age. I'm 18, 5'8", and in college. Maybe I just look it even though I'm pre-T?
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Silver on January 13, 2010, 03:59:26 PM
Quote from: No-Name on January 13, 2010, 12:09:27 PM
Maybe it's because I haven't exactly gotten close to people outside my group of friends, but I've never had anyone comment on my age. I'm 18, 5'8", and in college. Maybe I just look it even though I'm pre-T?

Yeah, you're just one of those lucky masculine guys.
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: DamagedChris on January 13, 2010, 04:26:05 PM
I was talking about cars once in a waiting room with this guy and at the end of the conversation he asked me if I was even old enough to drive....when I told him 18(which is actually younger than my 22, but I tend to out myself if I reveal I'm over 20), he laughed and said he thought I was 13. The height probably doesn't help :-\ .

I was also approached by a bunch of 14-15 yr old kids that were looking to buy cigarettes. One of them ran up, shouted "hey kid" and asked my age. I lied about my age again, saying 18, but he didn't hear me and replied, "you said 13?" ....so apparently I even clock young to young teens. But at least I'm uniformly getting read as a boy now, and sometimes even on the phone.

22, and just shy of 4 months on T.

If anyone has any tips that might make me look closer to UPPER teens, please let me know.
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Call Me Joe on January 13, 2010, 10:08:51 PM
I pass as a boy, but sometimes, they want me to show an ID to get into things that clearly states SEX: F, but clearly looks like me.

Sometimes it's nice, though, cos kids (12 and under) get things cheaper.

Man, are all transguys short? That bites!
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Silver on January 13, 2010, 11:36:31 PM
Quote from: Call Me Joe on January 13, 2010, 10:08:51 PM
Man, are all transguys short? That bites!

Depends on what you consider short. Transguys who go through female puberty almost certainly end up five inches shorter than they would if they developed as males.
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Lachlann on January 13, 2010, 11:59:06 PM
Quote from: Call Me Joe on January 13, 2010, 10:08:51 PMMan, are all transguys short? That bites!

I'm 5'7". That's kind of middle ground I guess for both sexes.
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Hector on January 15, 2010, 04:03:51 AM
Last week I went to a shop with an MtF friend of mine.
I'm almost 26, and she is 29.
The clerk thought that I was her son.  :'(

(Well, I'm not on T, while my friend is on HRT from months. But anyway...  :'( )
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Aj224 on January 21, 2010, 04:10:46 AM
Heck yes...This happens to be all the time. I work as a busser so I go up to get drinks. Well I can get beers at age 20 but I just cannot drink them (well you know) ha. Well every time I go up to a table there is ALWAYS somebody that ask how old I am. Which is 20. They ALWAYS drop there mouth. The lowest age I have gotten was 11 as well. It sometime makes me mad but I get those ladies that are a lot older, that are always saying stuff like "Your really going to be cute when your older" lol. I do pass as a dude and I'm not on T yet but yeah I always get a lot younger than I am. Like everybody was saying....Hopefully T will catch our looks up to our age.

Post Merge: January 21, 2010, 04:14:19 AM

Quote from: Call Me Joe on January 13, 2010, 10:08:51 PM
I pass as a boy, but sometimes, they want me to show an ID to get into things that clearly states SEX: F, but clearly looks like me.

Sometimes it's nice, though, cos kids (12 and under) get things cheaper.

Man, are all transguys short? That bites!

HAHA your awesome. I never thought about that!!

& I don't know..I'm 5'5 guess thats short but my girlfriend is like 5'1 something like that so it fits. ha 
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: sneakersjay on January 21, 2010, 07:32:56 AM
I am 5' 3 3/4" without shoes, so at least 5' 4 1/2" with shoes (well, sneakers!).  I am about an inch shorter than my brother, who is about 5' 5".

I work with the public and there are many guys shorter than I am who come into my place of employment.  Does it bother me?  No. 

The only place it seems to matter is online dating sites.  If I put my true height, nobody contacts me.  If I put that I'm taller, I get lots of emails (not that I actually ever go on dates from online services! LOL.... I call it social research!  Well, I am a writer....).


Jay
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Kaz on January 21, 2010, 08:21:03 AM
I don't tend to pass but people still think i'm way younger than i am.  I'm thirty and was a mature student at uni up until last year.  Everyone thought i was eighteen/nineteen like my friends  :eusa_eh:  Mind you i don't really feel old - maybe that's to do with not actually having really grown up yet  ;D
Title: Re: Passing and Age
Post by: Teknoir on January 21, 2010, 09:16:02 AM
Quote from: Arch on January 12, 2010, 04:16:46 AM
I've been frozen for so long that I actually feel as if I'm much younger than I am. Do any of you younger guys feel that way?

Yes, actually. I thought it was just me being odd and refusing to grow up.

When I resumed being myself, everything else also resumed from exactly where it was when I went closet case.


Back to thread.....  ;D

I look young, I know that much. I don't know how old I look, but I've been told that I sure as hell don't look anything like 25.

I generally know when I've "passed" - I'm opening my wallet and getting out my ID at the time ;) (Which is fun when it's got the right details on it  :P).

I find myself looking forward to T bringing a few years of rapid aging with it. I don't see myself as a boy... I see myself as a fully fledged man! :laugh: I can't wait for the effects to build up long term.