Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Right, so I am just over 5 months on T and pretty much pass all the time now. I'm having a problem, which is that guys often seem to start up (or try to start up) conversations with my in the gents bathroom.

This makes me very uncomfortable.

Anyone have any ideas why this would be?

Just ignore it-I have never talked to other guys in the restroom and I don't intend to-I wish I didn't have to go in there at all!!!

Randi

This is really weird, guys don't generally talk in the bathroom. This is one of the biggest reasons I hate using the womens

I think it's a myth that men don't talk in bathrooms, its not to the degree that the women do, but in a familiar situation, like work, they tend to talk more, at public events less.

Common problem.

Solution, don't make eye contact, answer with a gruff, 'Yeah' or something like that and walk on.

Men, by and large are petrified of being labeled gay. It is highly unlikely they will pursue it.

Is the other guy your age, older, or younger?  That's how I decide in how I answer.  If he's younger, I'll answer or talk back because he might be lost (if not obviously with someone).  My age, I'll either just head nod or give one word answers if I'm approached.  Same with older males unless they ask for help with something.

It's rare though that I've had a guy even look at me in the rest room though let alone talk to me.  It just doesn't happen that often.  I keep my eyes straight forward or down and walk to my destination (stall, sink, door) without stopping.

Yeah, I don't try to make eye contact or anything. I generally look at the floor or where I am going and try to ignore anyone in there. I get pee-shy anyway so it's not the easiest task without guys talking to me.

It's happened several times, once when I walked in a guy using the urinal starting talking to me (he was an older gentleman and started asking me how I was WHILE he was peeing), another time a guy stopped me as I was leaving to ask whether I liked the bar and to say how busy it was and another time there was a queue for the single stall and a guy started up a conversation with me.

I just don't like it and don't see the need for it. It makes me paranoid that they're second-guessed me and are trying to figure out my gender by engaging me, another time I've thought they're hitting on me, other times I think it's an English thing and yet other times I just despair!

There have been a few times when someone has struck up a conversation with me, just don't freak out. The no talking in the men's rule isn't really like a "if someone talks to you, they know" its more of a "men are less likely to strike up a conversation"

Quote from: Tay on January 22, 2010, 02:34:08 PM
Yeah, I don't try to make eye contact or anything. I generally look at the floor or where I am going and try to ignore anyone in there. I get pee-shy anyway so it's not the easiest task without guys talking to me.

It's happened several times, once when I walked in a guy using the urinal starting talking to me (he was an older gentleman and started asking me how I was WHILE he was peeing), another time a guy stopped me as I was leaving to ask whether I liked the bar and to say how busy it was and another time there was a queue for the single stall and a guy started up a conversation with me.

I just don't like it and don't see the need for it. It makes me paranoid that they're second-guessed me and are trying to figure out my gender by engaging me, another time I've thought they're hitting on me, other times I think it's an English thing and yet other times I just despair!

Honestly, all of that seems rather normal to me.  Older men sometimes do that.  He probably didn't or doesn't realize that not everyone is as comfortable in the bathroom as he is.  He was just trying to be friendly with you. 

The other guy was making conversation, plain and simple.  You were both waiting in line and had that common bond thing for a second.  It's like talking to a stranger sitting next to you on a bus; you have nothing else in common except you're both on the bus at the same time and you're both experiencing the same ride.

Don't worry about it.

I've only been spoken too once in the mens room but when it happened it really threw me, because I was always told that guys will never talk to you in that situation. But he kind of did need help because he'd broken the tap and water was pouring out everywhere.

Some guys get chatty in the bano.  Usually sports or politics.  Just use short crisp answers.  If you are using the urinal, just stare at the wall.

Just don't talk to the toilet and you should be okay  :laugh:

But seriously, guys generally only talk if they know each other and that is usually limited to business matters or manly man stuff like sports

And you def. don't want to look at the other guy's dangler thingy

Woa I've never talked or been talked to in a public restroom, but I've very rarely used them (and I've never never never in my life used a urinal, it's just plain gross).

It is usually when a guys are a bit peed and the conversation is along the lines, paid for all that grog and now I get rid of it type of conversation. Unless friends there is nothing beyond a banal comment and you can get away with, yer, sure can. If waiting in a line it is a distraction to stop p'ing in the pants. There is also the ORRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, comment followed by a long pee. He was desperate.  :laugh:

Evil dark glare.

Makes most people shut up in seconds.



(i hate talking in the bathroom...)

Every time I see this thread I keep thinking it says 'talking toilets'.

Quote from: Tay on January 22, 2010, 09:59:03 AM
...which is that guys often seem to start up (or try to start up) conversations with my in the gents bathroom.

That's against the Codes of Conduct for the men's toilet. Especially if it's someone you don't know. :police:

Quote from: Lachlann on January 23, 2010, 05:35:53 PM
Every time I see this thread I keep thinking it says 'talking toilets'.

You too?

I keep wanting to reply "Hello, talking toilet!"

I'm worried that I'll have bad dreams about a toilet that want's to hang out awhile then try to eat me when I go potty  :o

Sounds like one of those Japanese fancy automatic toilets. Hmm the eat me switch ::) Sounds rather fun. I can imagine the queue outside the loo. "Haven't you finished yet?" Reply "I'm just coming" :laugh: >:-)

Cindy

Yeah, you know last time I was in a toilet nobody tried to strike up a conversation.