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Over the last two weeks something has changed in me, and not for the better I think. It started at work, somehow we got into a quick discussion of spiritual matters. I said I didn't believe in demons. I don't. Nobody, especially a little man with a pitchfork, makes me do anything.

Since then i've been feeling very drained, almost empty. An associate who happens to be a satanist told me that demons and spirits were two words for the same concept. That apparently I had insulted someone. A side affect seems to be my necrophobia has been lessened for some strange reason, and i'm not even going to say what his theory on that would be. Its far to weird to be true I think.

Anyways, any advice? I've asked for forgiveness from whomever I insulted. Asked for guidance from the lord and lady, and it seems nothing has changed. I try to put out a shield in case its some sort of attack, yet it feels like either something is crushing it or my shield is on a rubber band. I just got a really uneasy feeling about all this.

When was the last time you cast a circle or a spell?  It could be you have been in contact with a emotional or energy vampyre.

I usually cast a visual circle when I need assistance from the Lord and Lady.  I as also request the assistance from the four watchtowers or corners.

Blessed Be Sister,
Janet

I never have done spells or ritual. There is no room in my apartment to set up an alter, and I don't have any tools either.

Weird, I was listening to some rap music, got some energy from that, and kinda 'pushed' with my shield. I feel better, but not normal. So now i'm trying to find a local pagan group or something. Someone who can tell me what the heck is wrong with me. No luck on my own so if anyone has some links or advice...

Maybe its stress, maybe the fact its winter has something to do with it. Not to go crazy person here but I think...well I think something is draining me. A person or emotion vampire? Not sure, but i'm on the verge of freaking. I feel like some sort of connection has been lost, like a piece of me is missing. Maybe i'm just nuts, could be. Many people think i'm nuts for being a neo-pagan. I dunno anymore.

I don't know where you are, but a lot of people get seriously depressed in the winter, going outside a lot, getting what sun you can, seems to help a lot of them.

Feelings and emotions are transmitted through the brain by traveling down a neuron in pulse fashion, stimulating little follicles on the end to release neurotransmitters which fill the gap to the next neuron and so on. Sometimes the neurotransmitters are dissolved or sucked back up too fast to be effective. The result is some funky feelings. In most people it's only temporary, and can be fixed with exercise, music, sun, a hug (try to be drained on 12 hugs a day) or drugs. Also it's an all or none principle, either there is enough stimuli to create a pulse or their isn't. What you are feeling is what you are feeling, there's no such thing as a subdued emotion from a physical standpoint.

There is evidence surfacing that issues with serotonin, a primary neurotransmitter, are predated sometimes by years by issues with another substance which isn't even properly named yet. Symptoms include feeling drained, feelings of deja vu, or sudden alarm and a sense of impending doom even though everything is alright.

That being said the cause of your dismay is probably a result of something like that, especially being on hrt, and not demons or spirits. That's not to say witchcraft doesn't have a place, some of you people are remarkable light workers and notice the first few treatments involve reinvigorating the body and it's energy field, especially the 12 hugs a day  :)

Quote from: tekla on February 01, 2010, 11:01:37 PM
I don't know where you are, but a lot of people get seriously depressed in the winter, going outside a lot, getting what sun you can, seems to help a lot of them.

I agree with tekla, seasonal depression can affect anyone and it can be quite draining.

Quote from: Riley on April 17, 2010, 10:46:59 PM
I agree with tekla, seasonal depression can affect anyone and it can be quite draining.

Its called
SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_affective_disorder (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_affective_disorder)
I have suffered with this for years but there are so many differnt things you can do to help.

if it is a phi vamp the best thing you can do i learn phi defense. I should it works pretty well. But plz keep in mind that not all phi vamps are bad ppl as the ones with ethics and respect only will feed from willing donors. Its the ones that dont care you have to look for espically the ones who hasnt awaken to their giift yet.

from the looks of it, seems like you are falling asleep/unaware at some maybe crucial points and theres a spirit stabbing you in the back
one easy spell you could do is change ur avatar

the spirit also might be trying to wake you up to your true nature/the general truth of the world and giving you back parts of yourself
maybe do something cathartic and awesome thats usually a good way to face it
do you know reiki?

May the Great Mother's Blessing be Upon you sister

spirits and daemons are not the same, i.e. if you go around saying spirit and you go around saying demon youare definitely going to get different results, in old times they were considered the same i believe, really its just a matter of semantics, but the daemons have been so demonized and i dont really know where that word originated, nor would i really trust what a satanist is telling you

All things are spirits, but all  are not demons and

Goddess & God 1, Egyptian Cat Woman Bastet Hot Facts Teacher Damianne (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXwhwEIu_sI#) this video should clear things up

Sister Dipankara (49) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lqjQFvv_nk#)