Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Topic started by: Jamie-o on February 02, 2010, 07:15:55 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Well, this is awkward ...
Post by: Jamie-o on February 02, 2010, 07:15:55 AM
Post by: Jamie-o on February 02, 2010, 07:15:55 AM
The company I work for just hired back a guy who left shortly after I was hired, two years ago. His first day back he looked at me quizzically and asked, "Did you work here when I was here before? You look kind of familiar." I should have taken the time to "introduce" myself then, but I didn't. The last couple days he's been sitting with me at lunch and chatting, but I have no idea whether he remembers who I was, if anyone has filled him in on my transition, or whether he thinks I'm male or female. It's not a big deal, but it's a little unnerving not knowing how I'm being perceived by the new/old guy. Any suggestions for how I should handle this?
Title: Re: Well, this is awkward ...
Post by: Adio on February 02, 2010, 07:31:08 AM
Post by: Adio on February 02, 2010, 07:31:08 AM
If you want to be out as trans, I would just take him aside, especially since you've been chatting at lunch and whatnot, and just say "Hey remember on the first day when you asked if I worked here before? Well, I did, but..." and explain it however you feel is best. I'm assuming you transitioned on the job and that the rest of your co-workers know. It seems like only a matter of time until he finds out. I would personally rather tell someone than have them find out accidentally or through someone else.
Just my two cents.
Just my two cents.
Title: Re: Well, this is awkward ...
Post by: K8 on February 02, 2010, 07:52:55 AM
Post by: K8 on February 02, 2010, 07:52:55 AM
I agree with Adio. I would just say: "You may remember me from before. I used to be so-and-so. Now I'm Jamie." And shake his hand.
In my experience, when I present my change as matter-of-fact most people accept it as that. This is no big deal. You used to present differently and have a different name. So what? If you are comfortable with it they will probably be, too. Stuff happens, y'know?
Good luck, Jamie. Let us know what you do and what happens.
- Kate
In my experience, when I present my change as matter-of-fact most people accept it as that. This is no big deal. You used to present differently and have a different name. So what? If you are comfortable with it they will probably be, too. Stuff happens, y'know?
Good luck, Jamie. Let us know what you do and what happens.
- Kate
Title: Re: Well, this is awkward ...
Post by: sneakersjay on February 02, 2010, 08:55:18 AM
Post by: sneakersjay on February 02, 2010, 08:55:18 AM
He may have already been filled in; I have no idea if any of the new hires know about my past or not. I asked an informed, trusted, employee once, and she said she had never heard anyone talking about it, so who knows.
When those things present themselves, I just introduce myself again, as me, and not say anything. I suppose it depends on how close I knew the person before.
This happened at work a few months ago, when someone I worked with 5 years ago stopped by to say hello. I was really truly busy and did manage to say Hi as I walked past her, but I had no idea if she knew who I was (she knew me pre-transition, obviously) at that point, or if she knew about my transition.
It depends.
I wish I never had to disclose ever. Part of why I want to move far, far away, donkey.
Jay
When those things present themselves, I just introduce myself again, as me, and not say anything. I suppose it depends on how close I knew the person before.
This happened at work a few months ago, when someone I worked with 5 years ago stopped by to say hello. I was really truly busy and did manage to say Hi as I walked past her, but I had no idea if she knew who I was (she knew me pre-transition, obviously) at that point, or if she knew about my transition.
It depends.
I wish I never had to disclose ever. Part of why I want to move far, far away, donkey.
Jay