Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: pamshaw on February 03, 2010, 12:15:53 PM Return to Full Version

Title: I am finally feeling much better
Post by: pamshaw on February 03, 2010, 12:15:53 PM
After many years of struggle I am feeling much better, in fact quite good. If things had been different when I was young I would be many years post op. Having said that I am thankful for the internet, my wonderful therapist and to some extent this site. Modern medicine has allowed me to transition to my female self and soon I will have the vagina I should have been born with. I am finally rid of the many struggles and insecurities I had as a small feminine male. My 5'7" small boned body always made me feel so bad around the average large male because I was always hearing comments about my size and my lack of masculine looks. My size works quite well as a female. I was very nervious and distracted as a male because I was mentally a female. I tried to be a male because I felt there was something wrong with me as I did not like the things men like and I always wanted to dress in womens clothes. I am very relaxed now because I have fully accepted who I am.

I guess the reason for this post is repeat the often stated advice given here to accept yourself and stay the course. Ours is a very difficult struggle and we will probabily never be fully accepted, but we will be OK if we accept ourselves and support each other. HRT has done wonders for me mentally and physically; my body and mind loved the estrogen as it filled my system with the proper hormone and the spiro killed of the T that did not belong. My therapist predicted this and she was so right. I got up this morning took a bubble bath and put on my makeup. After putting on my bra and panties I put on a cute top and a pair of size 7 womens jeans. I looked in the mirror and felt good all over, Pam, a proud and accepting woman was staring back at me. I am feeling much better.

Pam
Title: Re: I am finally feeling much better
Post by: Janet_Girl on February 03, 2010, 12:26:07 PM
I am glad that you are finding peace, Pam.  I also have gotten to that point.

Struggles yes. Down days, most likely.  Give up, Never.
Title: Re: I am finally feeling much better
Post by: Randi on February 03, 2010, 12:44:48 PM
Hi Pam, I'm glad to see you are doing better. My experience with hormones was similar to yours-it was like my eyes were no longer clouded (by Testosterone). The estrogen was a Godsend but a couple of months on Spiro wound up most of the T that I had left. Now there are only trace amounts of it and I am so happy. I don't know how I would ever pay for the surgeries I want but I remain hopeful that my ship will come in someday. If not then I'll just do what I can and keep working toward my goal.

Randi
Title: Re: I am finally feeling much better
Post by: spacial on February 03, 2010, 01:11:02 PM
Pam.

That's amazing.

I feel so proud for you.
Title: Re: I am finally feeling much better
Post by: mtfbuckeye on February 03, 2010, 01:25:01 PM
Pam,
as a 5'7" person, pining to get the testosterone out of my system too, I'm so happy for you! :)
Title: Re: I am finally feeling much better
Post by: Jasmine.m on February 03, 2010, 02:44:04 PM
That almost made me cry!!  :icon_chick: I hope my story ends so well!!
Title: Re: I am finally feeling much better
Post by: JennaLee on February 03, 2010, 06:52:42 PM
Size 7... I could only dream.  Glad you're feeling better though!
Title: Re: I am finally feeling much better
Post by: K8 on February 03, 2010, 06:56:48 PM
Congratulations, Pam.  How wonderful to finally be able to be yourself.

:icon_bunch:

- Kate
Title: Re: I am finally feeling much better
Post by: Kimberley on February 04, 2010, 12:44:12 AM
Lovely to hear your story and that you have now achieved a degree of happiness.