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Obviously I don't need to explain.. why I feel suicidal.

NO I won't do anything...

My dysphoria has perked up again, it just pops up suddenly and I feel like ->-bleeped-<-.

About once or twice a month.

Meh, menstrual cycles are horrible. I get about one week of sanity a month, but it's very variable. I hate these mood swings.

Edit: Oh yeah, don't kill yourself. You're cool and will probably find your way out of this mess.

About once a month, i get really sick of myself and my body

I know it's tough but I promise there is a reason why we are all in this strange situation.... I don't know the exact reason but I know it has to do with the big picture of existence. I'm an extremely spiritual person. Just because so many people have given religion/spirituality a bad name does NOT mean God doesn't exist. God does exist. Believe it or not, I found all my courage to start the transition process BECAUSE of God (I've had way too many interesting things bring me to this realization) Find faith if you don't have it already. It's better to carry a heavy cross throughout your life. Eventually the pain will give you wisdom and wisdom will give you strength. God is love. Try getting into Sufism, Mysticism, and give the bible a chance. If you sit down to read the bible and forget EVERYTHING you've ever heard about it, EVERY opinion, and just read it as a metaphoric guide book for YOUR life, I promise it will help... and it won't just help to make you feel better, it will completely change your world.

Good luck to you  :icon_mrhappy:

Never. I value life too much

Quote from: Zant on February 10, 2010, 12:57:29 AM
Never. I value life too much

your a good person, :)

I think of it now and again.
But I don't think I would ever kill myself. Despite how much I find my situation unbearable I find a way through it. My art is my fist love, and as long as I have something to love I have a reason to live. Suicide has never really been a big thought of mine...of course I've thought about it, but never considered doing it. I bear my misery and decide to sulk for a while silently... or paint pictures.

My family is very supportive. The only reason I get into a depression it is because of my slow moving progress toward my goals, and at times, though rarely, suicidal thoughts have come into my head. Because I feel that I am slow going on my progress and that it seems pointless and the pain feels completely inescapable.

I try very hard to pull myself out of that mindset, but it's not always easy. Recently (in January) my birthday came up, and this had me VERY depressed for almost 2 weeks, and I could not get out of it no matter what I tried.

Not that I'm pulling the older person card here but it does get better. As a teenager and early twenties the answer to your question would have been 'alot'- now its not so much. Whether thats cos i finally know something is happening now or whether its because I'm more settled in my personal life I don't know but the thought of suicide hasn't crossed my mind for a few years now. Pain tho, now thats a different matter

Up to about a year ago, usually once a day, sometimes as little as once a week. Landed myself in the ER/loony bin two or three times. Nowdays, probably once every few months.

Eh, for me? I feel that at least once per month for a few days when my body decides to bleed out of bits that shouldn't even be there. Some months it's worse, some months it's better. And sometimes the dysphoria-induced suicidal-ness pops up randomly in the middle of the month for like a day!

But the important thing is to just not go through with it and keep going. To focus on your transition goals and not let anything stop you. Look at the positives instead of the negatives. Look at where you can get instead of where you are. Just think positive.

Also: Chocolate helps cure all depressions. Seriously.

Quote from: TheOtherSide on February 09, 2010, 09:47:16 PMI know it's tough but I promise there is a reason why we are all in this strange situation.... I don't know the exact reason but I know it has to do with the big picture of existence.

Once you figure that out let me know. I just see it as a punishment of some sort.

frequently...

Quote from: VampyreAri on February 10, 2010, 03:47:35 AMAlso: Chocolate helps cure all depressions. Seriously.

yes, yes it does.


it used to be a lot worse.
went through a period where it was daily. just wanted to die, too chicken to have the risk of failing

anymore i just have 'moments'... that could change, but besides moments of "this should NOT be bleeding" and random crashes, i'm almost ok.
('almost' meaning that i'm just weird regardless)

but really.
its not worth it to kill yourself over this crap...

Now and again.  But I never really mean it, its just an outlet of despression, a careless thought. 

My advice is to always think of the things that are great about life, the world, people, whatever.  It always seems to me there is more to live for than there are things to drive one to suicide. 

I am thinking on how to avoid death and fixing things rather than making things worse. :)

I had the suicidal feeling but I was never suicidal I think, it's more like depression, not sure how to define it. Had it a lot. It's gone now :)

I have the thoughts about once a week at a min. I ended up in the ER about a month ago for it. They wanted to lock me up but I refused. Right now its bad because aunt flow is here and is driving me crazy. Hopefully aunt flow will die soon because of my injection tomorrow. But ya suicide thouhts i havethem a lot.

I have them every other day, but I struggle with severe depression and am trying to get back on medication. I mean being trans can be depressing enough, right? Without having a diagnosis of depression anyway :(

I used to have them daily. Now, I don't want to die. Usually. When my chesticles won't bind right, my packer is falling out of place, and my face looks so feminine in the mirror I want to scream and throw things...yeah I think about it. But I've been through so much ->-bleeped-<- lately that I just tell myself...I'll get through this. Suicide is not an option. I have been in the psych ward 4 times while trans though, for suicidal thoughts/self harm. I don't cut anymore. I try not to harm myself in anyway now.

If it makes you feel any better Elijah...You are a very hot gay boy. Idk if you're gay or not..but if you were... :laugh:

For me it's daily, i have been diagnosed with depression and take meds for it. They make me tired as hell so i don't take them everyday. How do you carry on when your at your lowest low?

I go through periods when I think of it often, and sometimes when I don't think of it as much. I too have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and take meds for it. In reply to MyKa, you have to find just one good thing in your life. No matter how small it is. Talk to a close friend or family member, spend time with a pet, look at a funny website. Just do something that cheers you up even a little. That's usually enough to make the "I want to die" thoughts go away. Doesn't always make the "life suck" thoughts go away tho.  ??? Sorry, I didn't help much...

--Konnor

Up till January, pretty much every day. Now I'm on meds and my life is getting a bit better. I haven't seriously considered it since New Years.

I haven't been suicidal in a while now.

I used to be non-functioning and self-hating.

I haven't thought about suicide in about 18 months.

Transition just turned me into a narcissist instead ;)

There was a time (around age 16) when I would have said several times a day.  Now I hardly ever do.  Anti-depressants helped a lot.  Transition has helped even more.

In college and grad school a lot.  Thanks to my cat, I never went through with things, but I thought about it.  Also a lot when my kids were small, but could never do that to my kids (thanks kids!).

Now that I have transitioned?  Never.  And it's been years since I've taken anti-depressants.

If you're not at a place where you can transition (not that transition will cure depression, but I do believe it can help in some people), see your doctor or therapist for anti-depressants.  Clinical depression sucks.  BTDT.

Jay

I did the whole antidepressant thing...didn't want to be dependant on them, didn't like how they made me feel, so quit taking them months ago, now I'm diagnosed with PTSD, dysphormic disorder (a lesser version of depression), and Adult ADD. Somehow, I pulled myself out of my depression. Being homeless had alot to do with it, made me better off in a way.

I was going to post a huge rant about how sucky my life is and how much I want to die but....I'll spare everyone the details.

I've never considered suicide. I don't think I've ever really been depressed, not enough to take meds anyway.