Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Here's some background about my relationship with my mother. We're not very emotional, and I wasn't really her little girl or anything. I feel like I existed....she existed. She was the adult and I was the child. I had no drive to be something she expected of me and she really didn't push any expectations on me. I think that's cause she used to work two jobs and was never home. But I do respect her as a person and I love her as my mother. So I'm pretty straight forward with her.

So here's my coming out e-mail to her. Which I haven't sent.

"Mother,

So I thought I would e-mail you seeing where this is a big thing. There's something about me that I don't think you've ever known about me. You know how all the time I get mistaken for your son? Well they weren't wrong. For a long time now, I've felt like I was meant to be a boy. I was to afraid to do anything about it because I was scared and I didn't even know what being transgendered was. But I'm older now and this feeling has yet to go away. I always feel like I fit in better with boys, but couldn't because I looked like a girl. For a long time now I've been depressed with my body. I didn't show it because I found ways to deal with it by wearing boys clothes and cutting my hair, and looking rather androgynous. But, I'm through dealing with it. Like I want to be happy and be happy in a body that makes me feel good about myself. So I've started taking the necessary steps to transition from female-to-male. Starting with therapy and then I'll be taking hormones that'll give me more masculine features. I hope you understand that this really means alot to me and I don't want to lose my family because of somethign that'll make me happy. I don't want to lose my little brother. That's my biggest fear. That you'll prevent me from seeing him. But that's your choice and I'll come to terms with that. I'm still going to do something that'll make me happy and give me a better quality of life instead of being depressed over being something that I'm not. I hope you understand, if not it's okay and I'll cope with it. May lead to more therapy but I'll cope. Any questions feel free to ask me. Thanks for reading. Love you.

-Me

P.S.- I  have picked out a male name but I wanted to deliver the inital blow first."

So what do ya'll think?

Pretty heavy stuff. But it's well written.

I'm a big fan of getting the blunt truth out there without a lot of explanation at first. I think it's important for your loved ones to hear it straight up. Plenty of time afterward for greater explanation. And that seems to be the tactic you're going with here.

I hope you open up the channels of communication with your mom when you deliver this to give her a chance to respond after digesting this. My own mom still isn't quite up to it, and it's been about 7 months.

Good luck!

yeah that's probably going to sit in my draft box for awhile.....which I don't want to do, but IDK, but thanks Diana....it may get tweaked.

It reads well.  Like Diana said it opens up the channels of communications. 

I suggest reread it and sleep on it.  You may tweak it yet.  Then sent it and pray.

Sounds good to me. I would definitely think on it for the night as suggested just so you are sure of it before you hit send. No one knows your situation, feelings, or mom better that you.
Myles

I'm afraid once I send it, my anxiety might get the best of me. It never has before but there is a first time for everything. Just hope I don't vomit...I just got a new laptop.