Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I was on the bus today heading downtown to get my out-of-state driver's license traded in for an in-state license.  I got up when it was near to my stop, but I'd forgotten I'd taken off my winter hat and it fell on the bus floor, so this older man (late fifities?) called out "you dropped something, girlie!" or something to that effect (and not in an insulting way).  So I turned around to pick it up, and then there was sort of a hubbub but I couldn't really hear what was said.  I've never even gone out in girl mode, but I guess, now that my hair is getting long, from behind I can get 'mistaken' as a girl!

Even going twice a week, electrolysis is taking too long :P.

Maybe it is time to think about full time.  That had a lot to do with my decision to take the plunge.

I still have obvious immediate-o'clock shadow, which is why I wish electrolysis would work faster, and I'm not on hormones yet.  But yes, once the facial hair is gone, or non-visible, I'll be making those first forays.

One of my favorite moments came a few weeks before going full time. My hair was getting longer, and I had been on hormones for about 9 months. I work for a major bank in a management position, so I had to wear a suit and tie, absolutely hated that. Anyone, one day I was just finishing up in the restroom and walking towards the door. This man came in, looked at me, excused himself, turned and looked across the hall to where the other restroom was, saw the womans sign on that one, turned back, looked at me, turned to go back out, saw the womans sign next to the other door again, and began to turn back towards me. I simply said,"You've got the right restroom," walked past him and back to work. I knew at that moment, that I was totally ready for full time, there I was in suit and tie, no makeup, trying to present male, and I was totally mistaken for female. He focused solely on the face and hair, all the other que's were irrelevant. I chuckled about that one, but was totally dissapointed that I could not share the experience with my co-workers, as none of them knew yet.

Kat

Well that must be good news for you (I hate it when people call me sir or mate), perhaps that's a good sign, but it sounds like it's out of the ordinary, and you'll know when it's time to go all the way with wearing the clothes etc ^-^

actually long hair in fem style does a lot of trick, as in it covers the sides of your face and alters the shape a lil...

Congratulations! Cognitive dissonance (holding 2 contradictory opinions at the same time) is a great feeling, especially when you are not expecting it. I recently had my first run in with CD after 1.5 months on HRT, nearly 2 weeks ago. I wrote in my journal an account of the situation:

QuoteAfter finishing my laundry, I came upstairs, and saw my residence don, 'person 1', and 'person 2', a girl on my floor who I have rarely seen lately. This was actually the first moment, since starting the HRT, and that I have caused somebody a small degree of cognitive dissonance. They were both convinced that I looked/seemed different, and were trying to figure out exactly why... I got asked if I had braces, to which I smiled, and dismissed the notion. I am so happy!

Since I wrote that back on Feb. 11^th, I have had a couple more funny moments of CD amongst people I have known for years. My sister even  remarked that I looked younger since leaving for university after christmas break (start of HRT).

I love doing that to people.  I've been doing it accidentally since the tenth grade.  And now that I have pretty much gone full femme in the facial region but still remain in the closet, I get a lot of looks.  Sexy looks.  I just arch my eyebrow and think "Yeah, that's right.  You want me."

I am in the same boat. Guys are starting to open the door for me. It feels nice and weird at the same time because I don't really pass but I guess at first glance they think I am a woman. Who knows. Just happy doors are getting opened for me. :)

I wish!

I'm slowly progressing but I doubt if I will fool anyone when in boy mode.   My hair needs to grow out more and I definitely need to lose about a stone in weight.   In girl mode, I think I pass OK but when I open my mouth everything goes west.   I'm working on it and I am sure I'll get there.   I am just frustrated as after 10 months, I expected to be further along with my progression.

Expectations are a terrible thing.

The longer hair definitely helps... mine is kind of uneven right now since I haven't had it cut in over a year.  The parts near my face are down to about my jawline, while in the back it comes down a few inches past the base of my neck.  Once the front parts get long enough that they can tie in the back in a pony tail, I'll probably get the back trimmed to match so I don't have a pseudo-mullet :P.

Voice is a weird thing.  I haven't put nearly any serious effort into changing it, but sometimes it naturally shifts into what I can only describe as something androgynous.  It doesn't have the grating male voice stuff, but it's not quite female in resonance, and I'm not (consciously) changing my speech patterns yet, as I'm not really *trying* to be feminine/androgynous either (yet).  At first it only happened when I got a bit emotional, but now it's becoming my normal speaking voice most of the time, except for some reason on the phone I revert to the old male voice.

Really the two biggest things that stop me from walking out the door and not turning back are 1) nose/jaw/facial hair and 2) voice.  The rest I can fake pretty well -- I was blessed with having a pretty feminine figure even without HRT.

I had it a few times when I was in my androgynous phase before I started transitioning.  I definately think the long hair helps a lot.

The hardest thing to work on is the voice, I defo look more masculine when my hair is short, and it's a good sign that people are thinking you're a girl  ;)

Quote from: Ketsy on February 26, 2010, 04:58:50 PM
Voice is a weird thing.  I haven't put nearly any serious effort into changing it, but sometimes it naturally shifts into what I can only describe as something androgynous.  It doesn't have the grating male voice stuff, but it's not quite female in resonance, and I'm not (consciously) changing my speech patterns yet, as I'm not really *trying* to be feminine/androgynous either (yet).  At first it only happened when I got a bit emotional, but now it's becoming my normal speaking voice most of the time, except for some reason on the phone I revert to the old male voice.

It's more or less the same with me. The way I speak depends on the situation and who I'm speaking to. It happens automatically. When I'm with friends I speak differently then when I speak to strangers on the street or in shops etc. I don't think about it, it just happens.

When people see me as a girl, I just take it as a compliment and smile and/or say thank you

I'd forgotten my gloves at the check stand. I could hear someone say 'scuse me ma'am a few times, but it wasn't until the guy grabbed my elbow and asked if the gloves were mine that I realized he was talking to me

You'll find several folks are confused about many things allot of the time... I wouldn't worry on it

Quote from: Riannah on March 18, 2010, 09:22:28 PM
It's more or less the same with me. The way I speak depends on the situation and who I'm speaking to. It happens automatically. When I'm with friends I speak differently then when I speak to strangers on the street or in shops etc. I don't think about it, it just happens.

Mines been doing that too! 

I'm finding that whether I get gendered Male or Female seems to depend entirely on whether I cover the remnants of my beard shadow with makeup or not.  I'm not getting looks yet more though.

I got maam'd one day and the next day a guy on the elevator said "Cool, you got that Mick Jagger look going on. ugh.

I've been "mistaken" as a girl for my whole life. no matter how short my hair was (I used to have a buzz cut) I'd always get "Can I help you ladies?" It would always make my mom mad that people always though I was a girl, but it made me extremely happy.

When Im talking to someone I just wave my hand through the air and say "You know I am a woman!" They immediately respond with "Yes I know you are a woman" I dont have to pass. Its easier to do a Jedi mind trick. Hehe.

After I got my name changed last year I decided to go to the bank semi androgynous to get everything updated. I confused them in the first place because the person that helped me had never had to change anyone's first name before. Luckily that didn't cause a problem for too long. The funny part was when I was about to leave and thanked her for helping me. She said have a nice day...sir...um..mame...sir? I just smiled and tried not to laugh out loud as I walked out the door. It was kind of awkward, but still pretty funny at the same time. I also got mamed at different times during getting my name changed when I was trying to pass as a guy. I didn't get around to changing my name until after I went full time, so that made for a lot of confusing moments for other people. They were awkward for me at the time, but pretty amusing to look back on now I guess.

That must have been cool for you and hopefully a sign of things to come.

I've been confused all of my life, lol.

I have had people call me miss since my teen years and my mum has said people thought I was a girl even when I was a baby, how right they were, lol.

Blessings for the future

Stardust

Awesome news hun, bet that made you happy.

didnt read every post, but laser works faster and much less time consuming, assuming you have darker hair, cause it wont work on gray, white, or blonde hairs, and some reds.. 

I have dark-ish hair, but as it turns out, maybe half the hair on my face isn't actually dark, although the other half is very dark which is why I was under the impression that laser would be a good choice.  The place I go to does both laser and electro, and the woman (who has 27 years experience) recommended I do electro rather than laser.  Also, I've heard about it growing back somewhat after laser, and I'd rather just have it be all the way gone.

I've been going for about 2 months now and it's maybe 1/4 to 1/6 done... we started at the bottom and are working up towards the chin now...

May 2009 was when i started really confusing people, a man at the voting place asked if i was a guy or a gal, then later 2 men opened the door for me, one at my doctors office then at the post office, it continued through July, on my next therapist appointment i told my therapist about getting ma'am'd, doors held open etc., i said i thought it was time to go full time, he agreed but said as far as he was concerned i had been full time since May, i had slipped into full time without even knowing it.

Paula

Quote from: Ketsy on March 26, 2010, 01:26:52 AM
I have dark-ish hair, but as it turns out, maybe half the hair on my face isn't actually dark, although the other half is very dark which is why I was under the impression that laser would be a good choice.  The place I go to does both laser and electro, and the woman (who has 27 years experience) recommended I do electro rather than laser.  Also, I've heard about it growing back somewhat after laser, and I'd rather just have it be all the way gone.

I've been going for about 2 months now and it's maybe 1/4 to 1/6 done... we started at the bottom and are working up towards the chin ow...

Ive not had hardly any regrowth with laser on the face with dark hair.  They use a Lightsource diode laser on me.  You are not supposed to tan either while getting laser, as it wont or may not get all the dark.  I went to a place to get all the laser done (whole  body) sprinolactone helps with regrowth and smoother skin as well, then i went to an electrologist for the finer hairs and any white hair.  Im still going. Has to be the most lengthy of transitioning and very expensive. 

to the OP

do you wear girl's clothes while in guy mode? there is something i am missing here...why did they think you were a girl if your back was turned to them?

There's a really good way to finding out if you are passing, and it is this - open your mouth. if people turn their heads then that means you were passing...

As for me, nobody ever was confused about my gender and as I have said before in 1989 when I changed, I dressed appropriately, light make up and I went to work inside of 3 months, full time and from that point onwards, I have always been recognized as a female.

One of the things that made the biggest difference in me being recognized as a female, was I had extremely long hair down to my waist.  In addition I always have looked approximately 5 to 10 years younger than my true age.  The only other thing that helped me being recognized as a female was, "be yourself".

Kind regards
Sarah B
PS I am grateful to my grandmother and mother for those genes.