Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm going to assume this is the most relevant area to post this. Mods, move it if not.

So, today I went to Disneyland with my girlfriend. We go quite often because we have premium annual passes. It has had a picture of me from June. Far from the November where I began finding myself and making changes. Now, I look far more like me, but much less like my picture. I pass, in my own opinion, 100%. I go to school using my chosen (unofficial) name of Sebastien, I use the men's room, and I present as male any place which is not my home where my family doesn't know.

I've gone to Disneyland and usually I've gotten looks since I cut my hair from shoulder length (in card picture) to a more emo-ish guy cut, but had only one woman say "Is this you?" and probably because I had my hood up from my sweater. Today, I went into Disneyland and I got in with the lady hesitating whether to stop me or not as I walked through. Typical response I expected since now my hair is long on top with it cut to a #4 on the back and sides. So we're there, we leave and head across to California Adventure. I walk in there and the lady stops me. She doesn't believe it's me and calls another Disney castmember. An elderly man comes and asks to see the person on the card. I say it's me, show him my state ID and school ID, and he looks at me and says "This is a girl's name." I sigh and say (admit) that I am female. He apologizes and says, "Ah well, you have short hair! I mean you can look however you want, you just need to have a picture that reflects that change." Again he apologizes and we move on.

So yeah. That's all. I went, got a new picture, and I hope I'm never hassaled again. My girlfriend did bring up the bright side that they didn't want to believe that I was this female, portrayed on my card. So yeah. The good and the bad.

I cannot wait until I have my name and gender changed! :P

I would say all in all that it was a good thing.  You confused some poor Disney personnel and got the cause of the problem changed.  So ...

Congratulations, Sebastien

Thanks a bunch Janet  ;D

By the way, your name is making me think of The Rocky Horrow Picture Show which I saw for the first time on DVD the other night. It was great.

When do you plan to change your name? You don't have to wait till you start T or anything like that.

Quote from: No-Name on February 28, 2010, 11:14:23 PM
Thanks a bunch Janet  ;D

By the way, your name is making me think of The Rocky Horrow Picture Show which I saw for the first time on DVD the other night. It was great.

Where do you think I got it from?  ;D  No kidding it is my favorite movie.

Bad, how is it bad? Okay, maybe the bit where you had to say you were female. But aside from that, the whole thing show you're progressing great and they only see you as male! :) And now that you have the photo changed, one less thing to worry about. :)

Quote from: Keroppi on March 01, 2010, 01:48:25 AM
Bad, how is it bad? Okay, maybe the bit where you had to say you were female.

I don't know about anyone else, but the idea of outing myself in public is not my idea of fun.

Quote from: Arch on March 01, 2010, 02:10:42 AM
I don't know about anyone else, but the idea of outing myself in public is not my idea of fun.

Oh I know, but think happy thoughts. Now that the pictures changed, it won't happen again (and all the other bit I said about you obviously passing etc).

Yeah, it's very awkward when you end up in a situation like, "No, really, I'm me. I'm not stealing my own identity. Goddamnit, I'm a boy. Help, help, I'm being repressed."

You may wish to look into name change proceedings in your area. It can take a decent chunk of cash and a couple months sometimes, so start saving and planning.

Congratulations, Sebastian.  Many (if not most) of us go through an awkward stage where we are part who we were and part who we are.  I'd get to work on the name change, if I were you.  The old pictures and old names can cause a hassle.

It sounds like the Disneyland people handled it well.  You should be nothing but happy, as far as I can see.  I had a similar experience when I went on the Air Force base for the first time as Kate.  They were nice about it, but I got a new ID while I was there.

Keep going, man.

- Kate

Quote from: Arch on February 28, 2010, 11:16:37 PM
When do you plan to change your name? You don't have to wait till you start T or anything like that.

Yeah, I know I don't have to wait. It's just that I live at home and I don't have a job, hence no income for anything at all. I'm completely dependent which sucks hard.

Quote from: Keroppi on March 01, 2010, 01:48:25 AM
Bad, how is it bad? Okay, maybe the bit where you had to say you were female. But aside from that, the whole thing show you're progressing great and they only see you as male! :) And now that you have the photo changed, one less thing to worry about. :)

As Arch mentioned, it was a bit rough on me having to expose myself. You do make a point though. My girlfriend essentially said the same thing and that I should be proud I'm passing so well. And it is great that I had it changed, the picture was well overdue for a change.

I should also get my pictures changed on my state ID and school ID... Something to take care of.

Might I ask if anyone has experience with CA name/gender change? From what it appears, I'd be doing both at the same time, but I can't seem to find if I need to have done anything medically.

Thanks everyone for your comments. It really is an overall good thing.  :)

Quote from: No-Name on February 28, 2010, 09:22:08 PM
He apologizes and says, "Ah well, you have short hair! I mean you can look however you want, you just need to have a picture that reflects that change."

This strikes me as an incredibly stupid remark. So anytime someone gets a significantly different haircut, gains or loses quite a bit of weight, changes hair color, grows or removes facial hair, or adopts contacts instead of glasses (or the other way around), he or she needs to trot down to the DMV and ask for a new picture and a new driver's license? Riiight.

I can understand what he meant. He's a Disney castmember. Surely someone here must understand how amazing Disneyland is with their customers. You want to see extreme customer service? Disney. Period. Yes, they are doing it to mooch you of all your money, but at least they are being kind and courteous about it while providing you with everything you could want or need and not being complete jerks.  :)

I also think he was trying to walk himself out of the possible "How dare you think I'm a man!" accusation a normal woman might claim. :P Of course, he had no need to worry of that. I'm no woman.   :D

So anytime someone gets a significantly different haircut, gains or loses quite a bit of weight, changes hair color, grows or removes facial hair, or adopts contacts instead of glasses (or the other way around), he or she needs to trot down to the DMV and ask for a new picture and a new driver's license? Riiight.

Umm, yeah, I think if it makes a 'significant' difference in your apperence, then yes. I'm pretty sure the law (actually its not the law, its an administrative regulation) requires that your ID should, in fact, resemble you.  A haircut might be extreame, but yeah if you gained or lost a lot of weight, underwent some real plastic work on your face, then yeah, you should do it.  But I had a real problem at one point in my life with some cop on the side of the road in the middle of the night because when my DL pix was taken I was still doing corporate work, short hair, way square glasses, and way, way, overweight.  By the time the LEO and me were having our roadside chat I had hair down to my shoulder, rock and roll Rayban frames, and was an easy 60 pounds lighter, and I have to agree with him, I looked nothing like the picture on the DL.

It's probably one of those things that's no big thing until someone won't accept it and it becomes a huge thing.  Because, that DL is about the only way you have to prove that you are you, and if the cop ain't buying it, its going to take a couple of hours out of your life trying to prove it.  That being said, I bet almost no one does it.  Like the old Dylan line that went:
Up on the white veranda
She wears a necktie and a Panama hat
Her passport shows another face
From another time and place
She looks nothing like that
And all the remnants of her recent past
Are scattered in the wild wind

Quote from: Janet Lynn on February 28, 2010, 11:19:36 PMWhere do you think I got it from?  ;D  No kidding it is my favorite movie.

Janet! Dr. Scott! Janet! Brad! Rocky!

Quote from: tekla on March 01, 2010, 08:43:23 PM
I'm pretty sure the law (actually its not the law, its an administrative regulation) requires that your ID should, in fact, resemble you.  A haircut might be extreame, but yeah if you gained or lost a lot of weight, underwent some real plastic work on your face, then yeah, you should do it. 

Maybe things have changed, but several years ago I asked about getting a new picture for my California license. The photo they had taken looked nothing like me. I figured I would just get a new pic when I renewed. But I was told that my renewal would be issued with the photo they had on file, and that was that.

I finally got a new picture when I changed my gender marker. But I had the old photo for years. It looked so unlike me that I was carrying around my old expired license as a backup.

If they were being even remotely responsible about making sure the photo matched the person, they didn't do a very good job of it.

When I was in the Army, long long ago, we were allowed to have a mustache but only if it was on the ID card.  (This was the Army, after all. ::))  So the only way to acquire a mustache was to grow it hoping no one would question it and then when it was long enough conveniently lose your ID card and get a new one. :)

Now I don't have to worry about a mustache or the Army and am much happier. ;D

- Kate

they didn't do a very good job of it

These days the State of California isn't doing a good job at anything, why should the DMV (which I always felt that had Dante ever had to deal with the California DVM even when it was running correctly would have had 10 circles of hell, and not just 9) be any different?

Quote from: tekla on March 02, 2010, 09:29:56 AMThese days the State of California isn't doing a good job at anything, why should the DMV (which I always felt that had Dante ever had to deal with the California DVM even when it was running correctly would have had 10 circles of hell, and not just 9) be any different?

That would be any DMV in every state.

As quoted by Marge's sisters in The Simpsons who work at the DMV...
"Some day we don't let the line move at all. We call those weekdays."