Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Ok, if February was the month of bad memories for me, March is looking to be the one of confusion.

At my local community college the bookstore tends to be closed when i'm there except for Fridays, usually when I grab a snack between classes. There is this girl there who I talked to once before and is cute. Somehow we managed to start talking about all these various topics from politics to dogs, and we talked so long I missed class. (not a very busy store)

It was during this conversation that she admitted she was lesbian when I asked about the way she answered on some things. Not really in any sort of prying way. I in turn admitted that I was trans to be fair, at least in my mind. Anyway towards the end of our talk I find out that a) she is single, b) she wants to introduce me to her friends, c) she gave me her number. I'm supposed to meet up with her after my shift on Tuesday.

I really didn't think about it until today when I was talking to one of my friends at work. He said it sounded to him that she was interested in me. I doubted it because I did not look my best at all that day, I mostly rolled over and went to school. But after he said that I guess I started to think it might be true, but i'm terrible at picking up romantic cues. Do you all think she might be?

It's very possible, although she could just think you're awesome in a friend way. Are you interested in her? I would approach her as a friend first and see how she acts around you and if she gives off other clues.

Your story actually sounds somewhat similar to how my girlfriend and I originally got together :)

Good luck, whatever happens!

Quote from: aerosolchild on February 28, 2010, 09:59:46 PM
It's very possible, although she could just think you're awesome in a friend way. Are you interested in her? I would approach her as a friend first and see how she acts around you and if she gives off other clues.

Your story actually sounds somewhat similar to how my girlfriend and I originally got together :)

Good luck, whatever happens!

I think I am, why else would I be thinking about it so much? My only fear is that I totally misread her and screw up a potential friendship.

Damn, dating is hard!  :-\

Quote from: aerosolchild on February 28, 2010, 09:59:46 PM
It's very possible, although she could just think you're awesome in a friend way. Are you interested in her? I would approach her as a friend first and see how she acts around you and if she gives off other clues.

I'll second that.  Treat her as a potential friend and see how it goes from there.

Good luck.

- Kate

Quote from: Terra on February 28, 2010, 09:49:25 PM
Anyway towards the end of our talk I find out that a) she is single, b) she wants to introduce me to her friends, c) she gave me her number. I'm supposed to meet up with her after my shift on Tuesday.

If I had managed to work all those things into the conversation with you then you could rest assured that I was interested.

I agree that you may want to go slow and perhaps make her do a little of the chasing - but mainly because from what you say, making her do the chasing may actually make her want you all the more... but take it from a very old hand at this game, she's interested all right!

Well, to paraphrase what a girl who likes girls told me today,

she wants to take a ride on your disco stick.

I would say at the least you have a new friend, and that can grow.

Just roll with it, and see where it leads  :)

There is far more to be gained in taking it slow, and a high risk in rushing.  Haste makes waste and all that.  And, fools rush in where angels fear to tread. 

You know, if you are worried about misreading the clues, then take the time to wait for more clues, if that's the real deal, then the hits will keep on coming. I mean from one conversation your already thinking ahead and into a relationship?  I'd at least hold off on that till you have a real date.

Quote from: tekla on March 01, 2010, 09:50:12 PM
There is far more to be gained in taking it slow, and a high risk in rushing.  Haste makes waste and all that.  And, fools rush in where angels fear to tread. 

You know, if you are worried about misreading the clues, then take the time to wait for more clues, if that's the real deal, then the hits will keep on coming. I mean from one conversation your already thinking ahead and into a relationship?  I'd at least hold off on that till you have a real date.

That's the thing Tekla, tomorrow might be a date for all I know. According to my father (with grain of salt) I had girls practically throwing themselves at me as a boy and I missed it. I'm more used to the chasing, and since she has said she usually is the 'boy' in the relationship for once I wouldn't have to be. Be a nice change of pace in dating. So let her do the chasing? Maybe that's how I need to do it to get her, assuming that's where this potentially might go.

The one thing of doubt I got going through my mind comes from something else she said. She plans to be a teacher right? Well this is cowboy country, and she is scared that she might not be able to find work as a lesbian, let alone (and this is my thoughts, not what she said) being with a transwoman.

I've dated before, yet something about her is bringing a whole lot of fear into this situation. I haven't been this nervous since I asked out my first girlfriend in middle school. I mean, I still barely know her!

Look if you like her, then just roll with it, quit worrying, and let her do the steering. She willl take things where she wants, and if she decides that it's worth the potential risk to her career then let her make that decision. See that's the nice thing about being female... you get that option, to be passive if you want and let the "boy" make the decision!

So what difference does it make whether or not this is a "date". You are seeing her, you like her, she clearly likes you, someting will either happen, or it won't, nuff said.

And I would add to what Jenny said that this is just a first get-together or date.  Don't worry about whether your marriage/civil union will hurt your careers.

Good luck, Terra.  I hope you can have fun together. :icon_flower:

- Kate

Might be moot at this point. Texted her twice trying to hook up, didn't actually call because she might have been in class. Guess all that worrying for nothing. But thanks for the advice guys.

Don't give up so easily...

And remember: Experience is what you get when you don't get what you wanted.

Just my 2 cents...