Susan's Place Transgender Resources

It's been hard the past two days. After the vaginal dressing was removed (yes, it apparently IS dressing and not packing) the pain has increased. Every time I stand up a sharp, shooting pain hits me and I have to breath slowly and wait. After a few seconds it slowly dies down, but the pain continues as a dull throb. It was never very painful when I would walk, but now every step sends a sharp pain through me. I must make small, purposeful steps. I am finding myself in bed more often because of it. I was at a point before where I went an entire day without taking anything but a couple Tylenol. Now I must adhere to the every four hour schedule for the blue pills - the super duper painkillers - if I am to be able to get through the day, and especially the night.

Tommorrow is an important day. That's when I get the stent taken out. I can't wait, since I'm told by the other girls here that it makes a huge difference with the pain, movement, etc. However, I'm also scared. The stent being removed also means that dilation must begin. With the pain I've been suffering through the last two days I cannot imagine then sticking something in there and not having even more pain. My fears were addressed by one of the girls here who assured me that if you can find the right position, then you can minimize the pain, or stop it altogether. I hope she's right. I hope that having those final stiches cut and the stent that has been in me for 5 days now removed that the pressure released will decrease my pain a lot. I want to be able to get through the night without waking up multiple times in agonizing pain.

The day after I get the stent removed they will finally remove the catheter. This has been one of the most annoying parts of it, since it's always hanging there and always gets in the way. I have to sleep with nothing covering the area now that the dressing has been removed, so now I don't have the underwear there to hold the cath in place. Whenever I get up or lay back down in bed I have to keep a close eye on it so that it doesn't get caught up and pulled or anything. When I have a bowel movement I have to balance myself on the toilet so as not to put too much pressure on the stiches, all while keeping my hair out of my face, my gown from falling into the toilet (I've started just removing it altogether now), and while holding that darn cath so it doesn't fall in the toilet. To say I'll be happy when it's out is an understatement.

I know this update has been pretty down so far, so I'll try to liven it up a bit. The pain is temporary. The inconveniences I've just explained are temporary. Soon I will be free from all of this and be able to just live with my new genitalia. Soon the swelling will be gone and the healing will be mostly complete, and I'll have a normal run-of-the-mill vagina. Soon I'll be able to wear the pairs of panties that I got that had never worked for me since they didn't hold the bits in place well enough. Soon I'll be able to see what it feels like to wear a thong and it actually fit. Soon I'll be able to wear a bikini and not be nervous about any bulge. I will be able to go into the water at the beach or at a pool now that I don't have to worry about people noticing anything, or worrying that something will slip out of place. Soon I'll be able to change at the gym and not have to hide and hurry when changing my pants for fear that someone will notice that I'm a bit different. All that and more is waiting for me...soon.

After all the waiting I've done to get to where I am now, I can wait a little more and get through these hard and painful days knowing what's in store for me.

~Sarah

 

Quote from: SarahR on April 04, 2010, 12:39:42 PM


The stent being removed also means that dilation must begin. With the pain I've been suffering through the last two days I cannot imagine then sticking something in there and not having even more pain.

I think that the amazement you will feel when you first do this will greatly overshadow the pain.  I think others who have gone through it have stated that relaxation is the key

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The day after I get the stent removed they will finally remove the catheter. This has been one of the most annoying parts of it, since it's always hanging there and always gets in the way. I have to sleep with nothing covering the area now that the dressing has been removed, so now I don't have the underwear there to hold the cath in place. Whenever I get up or lay back down in bed I have to keep a close eye on it so that it doesn't get caught up and pulled or anything.

That's actually been on my mind after seeing those images that FlanHuskey put up

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...all while keeping my hair out of my face

They actually make these round rubber things which allow you to safely secure your hair to prevent this.  I think they're called elastics ;)

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Soon I'll be able to wear the pairs of panties that I got that had never worked for me since they didn't hold the bits in place well enough.

Got plenty of those :laugh:

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Soon I'll be able to see what it feels like to wear a thong and it actually fit.

Plenty of those too!  Probably too big for me now   :laugh:

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Soon I'll be able to wear a bikini and not be nervous about any bulge. I will be able to go into the water at the beach or at a pool now that I don't have to worry about people noticing anything, or worrying that something will slip out of place. Soon I'll be able to change at the gym and not have to hide and hurry when changing my pants for fear that someone will notice that I'm a bit different. All that and more is waiting for me...soon.

Just keep all that in mind while dilating--should help with the pain.

I hope the pain subsides quickly

SUPERDOOPERSNUGGLY{{{HUGS}}}

- Virginia

This to shall pass, Dear Sister.  And then will come your freedom.

Hi Sarah

Our travels are always different from one another, for example, I was in bed for 5 days, stabbing pains and spasms occurred weeks and months after surgery and left me doubled over. But our travels seem similar.

You know things will get better and they will, you are doing everything right at the moment, from what you have said and also know that you will eventually be free. Which is the greatest gift we get.

I use scrunchies to put my hair up and out of the way, it makes life easy sometimes when I need to get it out the way.  Me wear thongs and bikinis not on your life, I'm too modest for those things.  There will be plenty of time for those things so stop worrying about them and concentrate on getting better because you, yourself said:

Quote from: Sarah R"After all the waiting I've done to get to where I am now, I can wait a little more and get through these hard and painful days knowing what's in store for me".

You are right, you know what is in store for you and they will be joyous moments that you will savor and here is something to help you along to get to those moments.

[size=8]Humongous{{{HUG}}}[/size]

I hope the pain subsides and goes away quickly and remember keep your chin up.

Kind regards
Sarah B
PS Valeriedances, your hug this time certainly made me laugh

Hi SarahR,

Been reading your posts with interest and thanks for being so honest about how you feel. Hope you will soon be pain free.

Valerie, all the best for your up coming op too. Keep us posted.

I follow in both your footsteps.

Stardust

Have you ever seen a small child fall down and hurt themselves?
First there is a look of surprise and confusion.
After a pause of a few seconds they realize that they've been hurt.
It's then that they start crying.

This is the same thing.
Your body was grievously assaulted.
After a few day of thinking about it it decides that it hurts!

This too shall pass.
Keep your eye on the prize and forebear.

SarahR,

I have been quietly following your escapades for the past week and just want to add to the thank you's for posting about your experience. I hope someday to be able to share my own version for all who would come behind me.

I hope the pain passes away quickly and the joys of panties and bikinis all comes to you very soon. Keep the words coming (a little lighter on the pain for your sake).

Deanna

Hang in there Sarah.  Keep telling yourself that it will all be worth it in the end - and it will.  Or, as my mother would tell me, annoyingly: This too shall pass.

I hope removing the stent eases things for you.

*very gentle hugs*
Kate

It may or may not do anything to help, but I can tell you that having your cath removed is a bit of a twinge.

But!

Having had a cath on both sides of the fence, so to speak, I can tell you that having the tube removed when you are a girl is a whole lot easier and less painful than when you are a boy.

One day at a time, my sister.  Just know that your body is healing every second and you will recover.

I have been so fascinated reading your posts, please keep them going!

Thank you for your wonderful descriptions!

-Sandy