Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Well, I'm new on this place, I found it thanks to Google lol :P and I decided to register because it seems like a comfortable and nice place to be at :)

My name is Arlette, I'm 17 years old (PLEASE DON'T BAN ME XD), I'm from Mexico and I'm currently a high school student. The reason why I came to this forum is, mostly, because I currently live as a male, but I just hate it. I've been struggling to find my real identity and I've been considering the possibility of transitioning into a female, but I think that I've been doing things wrong, I feel too guilty because all I've been doing is to inflict pain on the people I love with my problems. I just wish to know why I want this, I just want to be absolutely sure before I do anything.

I'm planning to study electronic engineering (<3 ^_^) and get my degree before I even consider transition but, meanwhile I just wanna find answers. I'm struggling to be the real person I want because I feel like everyone expects me to live to their hopes and dreams, specially my mom. She knows that I want to be a girl, and since the day I told her, she just changed into a completely different person. If I describe her with a word, it would be ignorant. But I can't blame her, it's the way she was raised and I'm not here to rant about her and my family, I'm here to learn more about this community and culture, and to find my real self, which is something I hope you guys can give me a hand to.

I've just been crossdressing sometimes (like 5 times fully, in my whole life) because of the lack of time but w/e.

I like rock music (oh yeah!!) among other genres, videogames, computer stuff (I'm an overclocker and pc/gadget/whatever has a circuit inside geek xD, I actually hang out a lot on overclock.net so... if you have computer questions, go there :)), Mathematics (I'm a geek, I know, I know >.<) sometimes hang out with people, swimming and foreign languages and cultures.

I hope we can all have fun in here, have a good time and learn a bunch of new stuff! :P

and err... that's it!

BTW I do read the TOS before joining any website, and I agreed with this... as long as you don't sell my info to the CIA >.>

Welcome to Susans. One of the best places you could have found.
We a are very much like a family.
I am guessing that you do not know much about GID and gender dysphoria. Time to hit the books again geek girl. lol
The resourse library has some good info and the people who have gone before us and have stuck around provide a wealth of guidance and info.
Good luck.

I actually read a lot about it on the internet, specially on Wikipedia and I a lot about this, of course, not as much as many of you gals here :P, but that was like 3 years ago >.< I guess an update could come in handy  :D

BTW Am I allowed to be here? I ask because of my age...

You are definatly not the youngest person here.
Have you started to look for a gender therapist yet?

wth? really? are there younger persons than me here? wow...

nope... I don't even know if there are any here in my city >.<

I live in Guadalajara, Mexico, and I've been looking around but no luck so far.

I had psychological therapy for half a year but I couldn't progress, mostly because of the stress I get from my mom >.< It's so lame, she even threatens to cancel my internet connection (which she did once) if she ever saw me in one of these forums (iPhone FTW!!! :D). She just wants me to be a boy and have children I guess :P

BTW Am I ALWAYS gonna be asked for verification when posting?

No the verification thingy goes away after a certain amount of posts.
How much time before you are old enough to stop worrying about what your mom wants?

After July 28, I'll be 18... But I really want to get my degree. Maybe, if I knew any trans person around, I'd make a deal with her so I could live in her house, while I pay a monthly rent, or I cooperate with money or something like that, I wouldn't mind to study and work, but right now my main goal is to get my degree, otherwise I really don't think I'll be able to do anything about my transition (or it would take me a looooong time :P). Opinions?

EDIT: Is there a REP points system here?

Hola

Susan's is a great place for support and info, so I'm sure you'll find most of what you need here hun.

From personal experience, though I was aware of my GD when I started uni I didn't do anything about it. I did however push the boundaries of who I was quite a bit, dyed my hair red, got lots of piercings, quite androgynous etc and was generally in a really good place. It may be best to concentrate on your degree as it's something you really want to do, but also use the freedom university gives you to express who you are more.

Hi Arlette

Welcome to the fun house.  It's really great that you have started to find your real identity at such a young age.  The internet is a fabulous resource, i only wish it was around when i was your age.

Anyway, i hope you can find what your looking for and the is plenty of support and information here at Susans.

Hugs
Shelly

Hi Arlette, :icon_wave:

Welcome to our little family. Over 4400 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. :icon_hug:

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
  

Hugs and Love,
Janet

Welcome to the site, Iceprincess.

Gennee

:)

Quote from: Iceprincess on April 12, 2010, 05:32:21 PM
I'm planning to study electronic engineering (<3 ^_^) and get my degree before I even consider transition...

A wise decision, if you can manage it.

- N

Quote from: Janet Lynn on April 12, 2010, 08:48:53 PM
Hi Arlette, :icon_wave:

Welcome to our little family. Over 4400 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. :icon_hug:

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
  

Hugs and Love,
Janet

lol Janet, don't take this he wrong way, but let me ask you something: do you always just copy and paste? :p j/k BTW I did read the TOS and it's ok... as long as you don't sell my info to the CIA... I don't want my mom to know I'm into this again >.> not yet xD

Kudos for the 4,400 members! but it's still not over 9000!! so we still have a LOT of work to do :P

gals and guys, thnx for your welcome! :P I wanna ask something: is it true that if you transition and have a degree, there is a possibility of losing it? is that true? and, is there anyone here who has a degree and transitioned, and managed to keep their degree and work on that field? I hope you get what I mean :P

Yes as a matter of fact I do.  Otherwise I would not remember the links. lol.

And I work for the Company so you are out of luck.  ;D

LOL ok, I'm screwed.. .I guess I can live without internetz :( NOT

wait a sec... isn't the CIA an agency? w/e


I hope someone can answer my last question, sinc it's a HUGE decision factor about whether I'll get the transition or not, because I really care about building myself a future on the electronics industry, and if I have to choose between one of them, I think it would be the hardest decision in my life.

You don't lose your degree. You may not be able to change your name on the degree if you transition after you get it which can out you or cause you to not acknowledge that you have it. 

Good luck in whatever you decide.

There is no reason why you can not go for your electronics degree and transition.  It really depends what college you go to.  If they have a liberal GLBT community, you can transition while going to school.  Just check out the colleges and see what they have in that respect.

And Yes the CIA is an agency, but we call it the Company because you never get to quit just retire.

And don't worry about your age, we have younger members.

Hugs Arlette,
Janet

Welcome :]

And I say transition while in college!

Quote from: Iceprincess on April 12, 2010, 10:20:47 PM
I wanna ask something: is it true that if you transition and have a degree, there is a possibility of losing it? is that true? and, is there anyone here who has a degree and transitioned, and managed to keep their degree and work on that field? I hope you get what I mean :P

I know an engineer who transitioned following her education, but said engineer has an androgynous name and did not require a change of name.

With regard to transitioning in college, electrical engineering is not the liberal arts.  I suggest that you put your affairs in order before you begin.

- N

Quote from: Nimetön on April 13, 2010, 01:33:36 AM
I know an engineer who transitioned following her education, but said engineer has an androgynous name and did not require a change of name.

With regard to transitioning in college, electrical engineering is not the liberal arts.  I suggest that you put your affairs in order before you begin.

- N

Sorry, I'm not familiar with the Liberal arts concept and Wikipedia just didn't explian me well so... could you tell me what are liberal arts?

Quote from: Iceprincess on April 13, 2010, 09:18:41 PM
Sorry, I'm not familiar with the Liberal arts concept and Wikipedia just didn't explian me well so... could you tell me what are liberal arts?

Classically, the liberal arts referred to 'The Three' (grammar, rhetorical method, and formal argument) and 'The Four' (planar geometry, geometric observational astronomy, music theory, and basic arithemetic).  In modern times, the term refers to subjective, non-mathematical college-level coursework.

In common parlance, the liberal arts are such fields as literature, art, history, and political rhetoric, and also pseudo-scientific fields such as sociology, philosophy, and psychology.  The liberal arts are characteristically subjective, descriptive, and qualitative.  In general, majors ending it '-ology,' 'studies,' or 'science' are liberal arts majors, e.g. anthropology, women's studies, political science.

The sciences, by contrast, are fields such as physics, mathematics, and chemistry, which are characteristically objective, analytic, and quantitative.  As a rule of thumb, if you are required to take Differential Equations, and that course serves as an introductory course in the context of your studies, you are in the sciences.

- N

mmm sorry but I <3 exact sciences (math, physics, chem, etc) and besides, things like literature, art and philosophy aren't really my strong point, although I do enjoy to read, some art things and I do like philosophy, BUT just to learn and understand things, not as a profession.

So I say, if I'm gonna be a mtf girl, why I can't be an engineer? is there anything wrong?

Engineering is a discipline beyond the sciences; I am aware of no comparable challenge outside of the military.  Establish a contingency plan.

- N

I want to ask some things:

I can't upload an avatar to my profile, or even edit my options... when or how do I do this?

I can't see anyone's profile or send PM's... again, why? or when/how am I gonna be able to do it?

thanks for your support!

Arlette

It will all open up to you at 15 posts.  One more to go.  ;D

err ok... I think I should have read that post... duh >.<

anyway, I went to a LGBT support group last tuesday and talked to a social worker, I explained her my situation and she reccomended me a sexologist named Patricia Becerra, this psychologist is a pro in transgender topics, and according to the social worker of the support group, she wants to talk with me about my situation... only problem is that an appointment costs around $30 dollars (and this is considering she gave me a 50% discount >.<) although she can lower the price if the situation requires it.

Now, the only thing stopping me is money >.< but I'll call her just to see if I can get a deal lol

$30 and you need a deal? I'd love to get away that cheaply.

30$$ is a steal
I am paying 120$$ per 90 mins.

Yours isn't too bad either. I pay $100 for 55 minutes.

Just want to say welcome to Susan's...I'm still kinda new but I can assure u this is a great place to rec advise and help on your journey....Good luck..Christy

$30 bucks is still a lot for me...

Why? I do have a somewhat good economic level in my family, but I wanna keep things as discrete as possible, I don't have a job and can't get one because: I have to assist to mandarin Chinese language classes, I have to go to swimming classes, I have to study for the admission test for college, and I usually have TONS of homework from school. This eats a LOT, if not ALL of my time so... I'm screwed unless I save money :P

Speaking of that: I get around $50 dollars every month from my dad to spend it on things like rock concerts or parties, or pc games lol and other 3 dollars every weekday to spend at school (Usually spent on printing files, taking copies from books or stuff like pencils and such... and my bottle of water xD) if I save all that money, we're talking about $110 dollars per month, which could be enough for 3 sessions if they're weekly... so maybe, if I ask for, let's say, 1 more dollar or 50 dollar cents per school day to my mom (we're talking about another 10 dollars per month here)... I think I could have enough for therapy if it's weekly...

I could start by taking my own bottle filled with water from home :P besides, I always eat a sandwich at school (which my mom prepares... I gotta admint that she's an awesome cook!! ^_^) so I don't buy any food at school (which is usually junk food anyway... eww) so w/e.

So it's either to get a deal with the therapist, or ask for some extra money from my mom xD (I don't like to ask for stuff to my dad... I dunno it makes me feel bad :S)

Prioritize. If swim classes and Chinese is more important than a therapist, then it is. I want free rent too but it still costs the same whether I play video games all day or work overtime and then some to just survive.

Not all therapists request weekly sessions. some are bi weekly or monthly. It all depends on need and as always, cash.