Susan's Place Transgender Resources

and there's no chance of telling them you didn't mean to , and even if you did they wouldn't believe you . and what if they don't even care about you at all but you feel guilty anyway?

then screwed them

Apologize. Explain that it was unintentional. That's all you can do. It's up to them whether they get over it or not.

Quote from: Nero on April 14, 2010, 01:56:30 PM
Apologize.

Seconded.

All you can do is apologise...

As everyone else has said, apologize, and do it sooner rather than later. It's not an easy thing to do, but it's better than letting the metaphorical wound fester over time, and even if they don't accept your apology right away, it does show that you care, and that may make all the difference later. All you can do is try, but it's better to risk your pride rather than loose someone you care about. (This coming from me makes me a total hypocrite, since I myself am awful at apologies, but it is the right thing to do.)

If there's no chance of apologizing and you feel bad/guilty, then you need to get all the forgiveness from yourself and none from the other person.

We all blow it from time to time. We're human.

Keep telling yourself that the act was unintentional, mistakes happen, you're a good person who made one mistake, everybody makes mistakes. You might talk to someone about it, someone you look up to like a parent, mentor, religious leader. It helps to have someone else telling you that you're okay. Believe me, few people will be harder on you than you are on yourself. (So I guess you can get a sort of forgiveness from a third party, or at least sympathy and absolution.)

Also, you might think of it this way. If the other person doesn't care about you, maybe you didn't hurt him/her as much as you think you did.

What Arch said.

Hey Lia

I am all for putting your hand up and admitting when you do something wrong.
But in this case it was unintentional, we are all human and make mistakes.
If you can't speak to them to apologise or they won't listen, just acknowledge to yourself that it was a mistake, learn from it and don't be too hard on yourself.

Hugs
Shelly

Quote from: Arch on April 14, 2010, 03:29:52 PM
. It helps to have someone else telling you that you're okay.

that's kinda why i posted it here tbh ;D  . also this happens to me a lot , sometimes i'm misunderstood ,impulsive or too honest , so i thought maybe i shud see how other people do when that happens

Quote from: Shelly1480 on April 14, 2010, 08:16:16 PM
If you can't speak to them to apologise or they won't listen, just acknowledge to yourself that it was a mistake, learn from it and don't be too hard on yourself.

i usually can't speak to them about it because either i don't get the chance , or that i don't know if it was a big deal to them or not ,i mean i don't want to sound like a fool when i say 'hey i'm sorry for (insert situation here)'  and they go like 'huh! um..ok' . also if they are over it and know i didn't mean anything or if they didn't interpret what i said they way i think they did ,and then i bring it up it might get them all upset again and i feel more guilty about it or might lead to an awkward situation::)


anyway , for the current situation  i decided to just appologize by mail , to avoid any direct awkwardness , thanks everybody :)

You got it sorted, good :)
But when I hurt someone when I didn't mean to, first thing I do is say sorry of course, and if it's for instance someone at work, I'll buy them a coffee or something, it's a thing most humans seem to appreciate that I've dealt with. They get hurt and feel wronged, you say sorry, then give them something and they feel better for taking something from you in *tries to find an appropriate word*.. whatever the opposite of conflict is lol!