Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I've had a good few situations regarding my sex that are horrible and awkward at the time, but looking back, they're quite funny.

So I was wondering if you guys had any similar type stories? Give us all a laugh at your expense :P

Here's one of my many:
I had a call from my phone provider, asking if this was [old name]. I said that it was Ryan and he continued to confirm my address, etc. He asked for personal details where I clearly said that I was male and he ticked the male box. He then asked for my bank details. As read out "Mr Ryan etc" and my account number and he replied with "Thank you ma'am" and carried on calling me ma'am through the entire call!
Are some people REALLY that stupid? Haha.

I posted this once before, but here goes: One day early-on in transition,  I walked up to the changing rooms at Walmart, and was shown to the handicapped stall.  I thought that was a little odd, but figured they were just giving me a roomier place to change at a less-than busy hour.  After I finished, I went out to get some different sizes, and noticed the sales lady surreptitiously watching me shop.  When I came back, I was shown to the men's changing rooms.  It was at that point that I realized she couldn't tell whether I was male or female, so she was watching to see which department I shopped in.  I thought she handled it pretty well, but I had to have a chuckle at her expense.  ;D

I went to a resturaunt with my butch lesbian friend, my sister, and my college roommate.  Me and my friend both had really short hair and my sister and roommate had long hair, but we were all wearing baggy sweatshirts.  The waitress comes up to us and asks "what can I get for you guys? [short pause] Guys and girls. [short pause]  Just girls."  We then all started laughing and she told us we should wear more form-fitting clothing.   ;D  That experience made my day.

And then yesterday I had several people call me a man at work.  I was working at the amusement park (opening day) and the parents were telling their kids "the man will help you. [pause] the woman."  I really didn't get it.  My hair is pretty long right now and was in a ponytail, I wasn't binding and I was wearing woman's pants.  Maybe it was my mannerisms?  My stockiness?  I have no idea, but it made me feel pretty good...

My mom went in for a haircut with the people that had been cutting my hair in the past. "I didn't know you had a son. And where's your daughter?"

This was before I came out, so a little awkward but otherwise great. Well, every time I've passed with my parents with me pre-coming out was a little awkward.

Jamie-o, that's funny!  I had a similar experience.  I was shopping for jeans and I brought a few pairs to try on and she put me in the women's room.  I'm not out or trying to pass and I had a pair of women's jeans at the top of my pile, so it was nothing special.  Then I came back with some men's jeans and she put me in the men's room.  I thought "Ok, maybe the men's clothes have to stay in the men's side??"  But then each time after that she put me in the men's side regardless of what I brought with me.  There was no one else at the fitting room any of these times.  lol

I also had a funny experience a year or two ago with a neighborhood kid that I didn't know.  He was about 6 or 7, and he stopped me while I was out walking.  I didn't even have a name for how I felt at the time so I wasn't trying to pass or anything.

Kid: Hey, are you a boy or a girl?
Me: What??
Kid: You're a boy, I know it.
Me: Nooo, actually I'm not.
Kid: You're lying!  You are too a boy!
Me: Um...
-Other neighbor kid walks up.  I know this one, and he's about 8 or 9-
Kid 2: What are you talking about?  That's a girl!
Kid 1: Is not!  That's a boy!
Kid 2: You're crazy!  That's a girl!
Kid 1: Whatever, I KNOW you're a boy!!
Me: Um, Okay.  -Walks away-

It totally made my day. ;D

Quote from: Devin87 on April 25, 2010, 07:57:49 AM
And then yesterday I had several people call me a man at work.  I was working at the amusement park (opening day) and the parents were telling their kids "the man will help you. [pause] the woman."  I really didn't get it.  My hair is pretty long right now and was in a ponytail, I wasn't binding and I was wearing woman's pants.  Maybe it was my mannerisms?  My stockiness?  I have no idea, but it made me feel pretty good...

I don't get it, but there's been times when I haven't been trying to pass and I get "sir" and times when I am trying to pass, I get m'am.   ???  Something similar to your story happened to me the other day.  I had gone to a restaurant with a friend and get this...I was wearing a very feminine shirt with FLOWERS on it, and carrying a purse, and the waitress calls me "sir"!  She seemed genuinely confused and didn't call me sir or m'am the rest of the evening.  But then the other day at McDonald's, I was wearing the most masculine clothes I've got (Transformers t-shirt=win!), ball cap on, had the moobs squished pretty good, and got called "m'am".  I just don't get it.

Hm....

At the gay bar I perform at:

"What are you? Just asking, cause you can never assume here."

I was with a friend of mine, who has little kids. I think the oldest is like 9. Well we were playing on the trampoline, and the kid kicked me in the balls. I played it off well, fell to the ground, etc. Later, he asked me if I was a girl. I was like HELL NO! And my girlfriend and the kid's mom was like no honey, he's a boy. And now they don't question it. But for a second I went oh...crap....if this kid can read me, who else can?

Then there was another time at the gay bar where I was outside smoking and this drunk gay guy was talking and referred to me as a girl and I was like, "I'm a BOY!" and he was like, no, you're too cute to be a boy...prove it...thank god I had a packer...

Then when I was performing and the host introduced me as a drag king. I just about killed him. When I was done performing, I made sure he got it straight that I was a trans king, not a girl dressed as a boy. He corrected himself on my second song. It was funny, cause he was like, "I'm sorry...he's a TRANS KING, a TRANSSEXUAL, etc" and I really didn't care that he was outting me infront of the whole crowd...as long as he got it right that I was a boy.

What are we "supposed to" say when we get asked the question 'are you a boy or a girl?' ?
What is the right answer to give?

I feel like if I say im a boy, that im lying or something.
But if I say im a girl, I feel that it isn't right.
And if I say im trans I feel like im outting myself.

:/

I don't get asked that question quiet often anymore, thankfully.

Quote from: jmaxley on April 26, 2010, 11:35:15 AM
I was wearing a very feminine shirt with FLOWERS on it, and carrying a purse, and the waitress calls me "sir"!  She seemed genuinely confused and didn't call me sir or m'am the rest of the evening.  But then the other day at McDonald's, I was wearing the most masculine clothes I've got (Transformers t-shirt=win!), ball cap on, had the moobs squished pretty good, and got called "m'am".  I just don't get it.

Clearly...the first time, you fit a common gay stereotype from the 1970s. The second time, the "Trans"formers shirt gave you away. Next time go for Batman. :D

ccc,
The answer is 42. They won't understand tho so just say yes.

I wish I had a funny awkward story to tell.  Most of mine are just awkward :laugh:

I do remember once in 7th grade getting asked the "boy or girl" question before I realized I was trans (knew I had some gender issues though).  Some elementary school kid asked me and I was completely stunned and little offended at the time.  I had long hair, didn't hide my chest, and wore feminine clothes.  Maybe he sensed my maleness?  lol I don't know.

Now it's just awkward when people slipup.  Mainly because it either makes them look a little crazy or makes me look like a butch lesbian (if the crowd somewhat has an idea of my trans status).

@ccc:  Do you think they are asking you about your gender identity or your sex?  Most people when they ask (do be blunt here) are wanting to know what you have in your pants.  So you can either answer based on your sex or answer based on your gender identity (and mentally correct them for their ignorance :P).

If they ask if I'm a boy or girl, I say boy. Cause I am one. I'm not lying. And that's that. I don't like to out myself.

Quote from: LordKAT on April 27, 2010, 01:45:15 AM
ccc,
The answer is 42. They won't understand tho so just say yes.

Haha, I totally got that reference ;)

ccc: "Are you a girl or a boy?" "Yes."
It confuses them enough for you to make a quick escape.

Haha, I like that... "yes" &run away.

Oh here's my story,
The other day I was at the mall with my family.
My mom &I went into PacSun.
The worker there, obviously saw me as male. As before we even went to the men's section he said oh these men's shorts are on sale &this &that.
Then we went to the clearance section cause the guy said they had jeans on clearance.
So I found some that might fit me, &I told my mom that I should try them on.
Of course I didn't want to ask the guy myself, my voice brings me down to half my age.
So she called him over for me saying "she wants to try these on".
Fml.
He took me to a room &asked what's ur name... I was like "what" with a confused look... he was like what's ur name... &I was playing stupid, cause I didn't know whether to use my preferred name or not(around my mom). So he said nevermind just try them on.
So I did, &they fit ok.
And I over heard him ask "did everything fit her ok" idk if it was to my mom, but im pretty sure it was.
:/
Grrr on my family not knowing/being in denial. They out me all the time, &I hate it.

Anyways I bought 2 pair of men's jeans, they are my first ever.

But I think most ppl are asking about sex, not gender... or maybe they don't know what they're asking, so saying boy wouldn't be all that bad... seeing as its their fault for being ignorant... but I wouldn't blame a kid, id just be like "what do you think I am &what makes me that".

Quote from: ccc on April 26, 2010, 07:06:05 PM
What are we "supposed to" say when we get asked the question 'are you a boy or a girl?' ?
What is the right answer to give?

I feel like if I say im a boy, that im lying or something.
But if I say im a girl, I feel that it isn't right.
And if I say im trans I feel like im outting myself.

:/

I don't get asked that question quiet often anymore, thankfully.

I'm too much of a pussy to correct people yet, BT if someone asked me.. I would just say "I am NOT a girl" which is very true

Quote from: Adio on April 27, 2010, 07:04:29 AM
I do remember once in 7th grade getting asked the "boy or girl" question before I realized I was trans (knew I had some gender issues though).  Some elementary school kid asked me and I was completely stunned and little offended at the time.  I had long hair, didn't hide my chest, and wore feminine clothes.  Maybe he sensed my maleness?  lol I don't know.

Haha.  I had almost the same thing happen to me when  was around that age.  We were at the camp ground we had a seasonal site at for five summers and I was on the playground with some of the other seasonal kids and a little girl is just staring at me for a long time and finally she asks me if I'm a boy or girl right in front of all my friends, which was really embarassing.  I had long hair, but I didn't dress feminine and I was playing rough with the boys, so I guess I can kinda see why she asked, but it sort of hurt my feelings at the time.  Now I'm a little proud of that memory.   ;D

Quote from: Elijah on April 27, 2010, 03:06:13 PM
I'm too much of a pussy to correct people yet, BT if someone asked me.. I would just say "I am NOT a girl" which is very true

Ahh, I usually say im not a girl when ppl call me one. Esp my "friends".

Quote from: ccc on April 26, 2010, 07:06:05 PMWhat are we "supposed to" say when we get asked the question 'are you a boy or a girl?' ?
What is the right answer to give?

I feel like if I say im a boy, that im lying or something.
But if I say im a girl, I feel that it isn't right.
And if I say im trans I feel like im outting myself.

You tell them the truth... you're a guy.

Quote from: Arch on April 26, 2010, 07:10:31 PM
Clearly...the first time, you fit a common gay stereotype from the 1970s. The second time, the "Trans"formers shirt gave you away. Next time go for Batman. :D

Lol  :D

Quote from: LordKAT on April 27, 2010, 01:45:15 AMThe answer is 42.

WIN! It is the answer to everything.

All persons more than a mile high to leave the court!

LOL, 42.  Hadn't thought of giving it as an answer in this case, but great idea!

QuoteAll persons more than a mile high to leave the court!

That's discrimination, that is! 

Quote from: Farm Boy on April 28, 2010, 03:50:18 AM
LOL, 42.  Hadn't thought of giving it as an answer in this case, but great idea!

That's discrimination, that is!

My dear man, you can't have it both ways. If you're going to invoke Rule Forty-Two, I don't see how you can argue with it...

Often, when I'm trying to be super masculine I can't with my face, though I have a lower voice and minor stubble to to hormone inbalance. (thank god for higher T levels)

I pass better as a pretty boy, I'd rather be seen as more masculine but I'll take what I can get.

I went to the mall with a friend, and eventually we reached victoria secret. She wanted me to go in, and I refused. Finally I agreed to wait in one of the foofy chairs outside the dressing rooms. She made me hold something for her. A sales lady aproached me and said. "Ms. would you like to try that on?" "I lowerd my voice as much as I could, and pulled my shirt flat saying "Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I want to wear a bra..."

To which she apologized profusely, and my friend chose that moment to step out and take the bra from me. I felt kinda bad for her, but it was pretty funny.


Second, I have to sometimes have to pretend to go get myself when on the phone.  People call my cell asking for (given name) but  when I answer it's in a low voice. So they say I'm sorry sir, is ms.____ there?
"sure one sec"
"pretends to walk away"
And I come back and act like I'm just answering the phone.

42 Indeed. make sure you have your towel at all times...

Oh yes, I have a very special towel I keep with me.

Quote from: LordKAT on May 01, 2010, 01:36:41 AM
Oh yes, I have a very special towel I keep with me.

I have a whole drawerful, right below the drawer of...well, never mind.

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Quote from: GothTranzboi on May 01, 2010, 12:55:30 AMSecond, I have to sometimes have to pretend to go get myself when on the phone. 

This cracks me up. I've often wondered if there were any t people who do this.

Quote from: ccc on April 26, 2010, 07:06:05 PM
What are we "supposed to" say when we get asked the question 'are you a boy or a girl?' ?
What is the right answer to give?

I feel like if I say im a boy, that im lying or something.
But if I say im a girl, I feel that it isn't right.
And if I say im trans I feel like im outting myself.

:/

I don't get asked that question quiet often anymore, thankfully.

I used to say, "Both" because it was usually ->-bleeped-<-s that would ask me.


Walking home from shopping for a wig a couple weeks ago, a guy was yelling out 'dude' over and over from a far because he wanted to borrow a cigarette from me. I was wearing a tight long sleeve shirt and tight jeans. When he finally got my attention and came up to me he still didn't realize I was a woman until I spoke to him and then apologized, saying, "Sorry I thought you were a guy." I was so pleased I had to stop from beaming while he rolled himself one.

It is always my voice that gives me away. :(

Quote from: ccc on April 26, 2010, 07:06:05 PM
What are we "supposed to" say when we get asked the question 'are you a boy or a girl?' ?
What is the right answer to give?

If they're just being a-holes, you can say, with your voice dripping in faux sympathy, "Aw, whatsamatter, didn't your mommy teach you the difference?"

I only said that once, without the attitude. In a safe and populated area.

I suppose you can try something like, "Tell you what. Go down to <local bookstore name> and check out the sex ed section. You might learn something."

Personally, I prefer the old stand-bys: "Both" or "Neither." Other people have also responded with, "You mean I only get to choose ONE? That sucks." Or you might try, "Wow, this planet only has TWO sexes? I'll make a note of it."

another idea

Depends for and answer as in

Depends, is today tuesday?

Quote from: LordKAT on May 01, 2010, 02:12:15 PM
another idea

Depends for and answer as in

Depends, is today tuesday?

Great response for androgynes, too.

(This must be Belgium!)

Quote from: Arch on May 01, 2010, 02:28:04 AM
I have a whole drawerful, right below the drawer of...well, never mind.

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This cracks me up. I've often wondered if there were any t people who do this.

Yeah really I'd have to say it's the most amusing thing I've had to do. One time I froze up, and the guy asked who he was speaking to, I gave him my brothers name.

I think this fits the thread

I walked to the library and sat outside on a bench to read. a man walks by and says "Hi girl". then keeps on walking. I figure should have put my hair up I guess. An hour later I'm still reading on the bench and the same man comes by and apologizes for thinking I was his friend.


I know him well, he rethunk himself to not knowing me? after working with him for 7 years?  Strange.  I wonder if the furry face had something to do with that.

I don't know if I've mentioned this somewhere else, but Elijah's 'name' thread made it spring to mind. About six months ago I was at work rolling paper, and this fellow who I'd previously been talking to about horror video games comes up to me and says,

'So. What's your full legal first name?'  I said, 'How is that relevant to anything.' He said, 'Well, to be honest, I can't tell if you're a man or a woman. So I wanted to know if 'Alex' stood for AlexanDER or AlexanDRA.'  I said, 'Okay, so you actually don't need to know my legal name. What you really wanted to know was whether I'm a man or a woman. Well, I'm a guy. A transguy.'

And the guy started singing. He goes, 'It's a traaansexuuualllll!~' and then he started dancing. DANCING. And humming 'sweet ->-bleeped-<-(from transexual transylvania)'.  ::)

Cairus, that was...very surreal.

Reminds me of a trans meeting I went to before I started transition. I changed my name a long time ago, and sometimes even trans people have gotten mixed up about that.

Some time after I had introduced myself--let's say as Arch--we were all standing around outside. This gal asked me what my "real" name was. (You'd think that a trans person would know better.)

I told her, "Arch. Arch Smith."

"No, I mean your LEGAL name. Your pre-transition name."

I was getting irritated, so I said, "That IS my legal name, and I haven't started transition yet."

"Yes, but what was your NAME before you started transition."

"I just said, I haven't even STARTED transition."

"Yes, but what is your real name?"

"I just told you. ARCH SMITH!!!"

"Your parents gave you a boy name?"

Thank heaven I never saw her again.

ETA: Somewhere in there, I know I told her that I had changed my name a long time ago...I just don't remember when I said that, and she wasn't listening anyway.

Quote from: Cairus on May 03, 2010, 07:05:20 PM
And the guy started singing. He goes, 'It's a traaansexuuualllll!~' and then he started dancing. DANCING. And humming 'sweet ->-bleeped-<-(from transexual transylvania)'.  ::)

Wwwwwwell. I suppose there could be stranger reactions!

(Also, I love your avatar. That was my desktop wallpaper for a while.)

One of the first times I remember having someone backtrack was when I was about thirteen.
I was already confused about my gender identity and was over at my aunt's hoouse.
No binding, patched up girl jeans and a beanie. My grandpa was there and said 'Who's that young man you got with you?'

he honestly didn't recognize me for about two minutes. It's was pretty awesome.

I've had quite a few.

1. Walking into the girls bathroom and school - this happened on numerous occasions and here are some reactions:
                      A group of girls surrounded me and said "You know this is the girls room right?! What if a girl was changing!"
                      A girl walked into the bathroom while I was washing my hands and awkwardly walked back out to see if she was in the right bathroom.

2. Going to the grocery store with my mom and the cashier telling her "Your son is my new husband, let me marry him" (Arabic lady)

Many many more...too many to type

Quote from: Jacob on May 19, 2010, 06:45:39 PM
                      A girl walked into the bathroom while I was washing my hands and awkwardly walked back out to see if she was in the right bathroom.

that happened to me so many times pre transition that I stopped going to the bathroom in public.


My favorite recent situation happened in Mc D's. I was sporting a full goatee, 2 days stubble, was wearing my binder, and totally male clothing but the cashier still read me as female. The other cashier kept looking between her and I to see when I was going to correct her.. but I figure if you want to ma'am me at that point you're drawing more attention to yourself than to me.

Ive had several reactions when I was about 10yrs old which was i started transitioning kinda i walked into the bathroom at school(which was a mix of k-12) at the time. Anyway i walked in and a bunch of girls ran out screaming Jeff theres a boy in the girls bathroom, OMG get ur phone we gotta get this on camera. All the while i was like uh im female. that happened everytime i went into the bathroom school or public untill just recently. Another time when we just moved here my neighbor was talking to my mom and was like so how old is ur son and my mom was like daughter. there was about a 30min argument between my neighbor and my mom about my gender. in the store my mom will shout "SIS" and ppl will be like the poor boy his mother's on crack. true story.

Lmao!
Id like to hear more of ur stories Mr shaun.

Earlier this year I was trying on shoes for school aaaand my mum was with me too. The lady at the shoe shop came over as I was trying a pair on and asked my mum "are those for him?"  ;D and then my mum was like "HER!!!!!" I just wanted to run away  >:( my mum even knew about how I wanted to be a boy at the time too grr!

And the the lady was like "oh Im sorry, I didnt mean to offend you! I thought you were a boy. Maybe its just your shorts and hair, Im sorry!"   :-X

Well I can say I'm lucky my mom is seen in the community as some what psychotic. but its always funny but also its kinda wierd when ppl ask my name i give them my birth name and they assume im a male with a female name and its always akward when ppl ask about my gender most of the time i just " IDK you tell me". another true and farely scary situation was when I went to the YMCA and at the time it felt rather akward to be in the mens but anyway as i was walking into the womens and lady stopped me and was like u know thats the girls and i lied and said i was one. Well thats not all when i walked in there was this lady and she was butt-naked boobs hanging out and all and i had to explain the whole situation, i felt akward cause her boobs where big and i couldnt help but stare. Anyway as I walked out a bunch of little girls walked in so i got my crap and went to the guys without insident. there were ppl in there buut naked too. i guesss i expierenced both locker rooms in extremely sticky situations.

*double post sorry8

Quote from: mcalistershaun on May 20, 2010, 02:25:20 PM
another true and farely scary situation was when I went to the YMCA

Oh my mother keeps wanting me to go workout with her at the Y, but I keep refusing because of stuff like this.

A few weeks ago I got pulled over for failure to signal on a one-way turn.  Yeah, I didn't know you're supposed to signal even if there is only one option.  The state trooper was cool and just gave me a warning.  As he was handing my license and registration back, he said 'Sir, there's an error on your license you'll want to get fixed.  Won't want anyone to think you're a girl."   :D

Quote from: Alex509 on May 20, 2010, 03:34:51 PM
A few weeks ago I got pulled over for failure to signal on a one-way turn.  Yeah, I didn't know you're supposed to signal even if there is only one option.  The state trooper was cool and just gave me a warning.  As he was handing my license and registration back, he said 'Sir, there's an error on your license you'll want to get fixed.  Won't want anyone to think you're a girl."   :D

Good one

sweet thats pretty awsome so could we go up to the liscense place and tell them it was a mistake and will they "fix" it

I imagine you'll need ID such as a passport to prove your identity.

Quote from: Alex509 on May 20, 2010, 03:34:51 PM
A few weeks ago I got pulled over for failure to signal on a one-way turn.  Yeah, I didn't know you're supposed to signal even if there is only one option.  The state trooper was cool and just gave me a warning.  As he was handing my license and registration back, he said 'Sir, there's an error on your license you'll want to get fixed.  Won't want anyone to think you're a girl."   :D

Lol, that's awesome.