Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Megan on April 24, 2010, 11:22:11 PM Return to Full Version
Title: What if I am rejected? I am coming out within this month for sure.
Post by: Megan on April 24, 2010, 11:22:11 PM
Post by: Megan on April 24, 2010, 11:22:11 PM
Well I am going to come out as gay, and that I am going to be working at a gay club, and my ultimate goal to go to New York and get into the entertainment business.
But the deal is, I ask my mother if she would care what my profession would be, and she told me she doesn't care at all. I already told her my back up plan is to open a strip club, and she was fine with it, but there was no mention of gayness. Last year I even went as far as saying I wanted to open an escort place in Las Vegas (where it is legal), but I wasn't even serious, but she was fine with it.
She keeps on mention that I am gay like it was an insult, and yesterday I told her, "Well if I am then it doesn't matter", and she answer, "It doesn't matter". But I know it does matter since she keeps on bringing it up.
I am still worried she is going to reject my goals, which I need to do, but if I do not tell then I am going to be in a mess of lies since I am going to be working at night daily, and it would just be hard to work around with.
But the deal is, I ask my mother if she would care what my profession would be, and she told me she doesn't care at all. I already told her my back up plan is to open a strip club, and she was fine with it, but there was no mention of gayness. Last year I even went as far as saying I wanted to open an escort place in Las Vegas (where it is legal), but I wasn't even serious, but she was fine with it.
She keeps on mention that I am gay like it was an insult, and yesterday I told her, "Well if I am then it doesn't matter", and she answer, "It doesn't matter". But I know it does matter since she keeps on bringing it up.
I am still worried she is going to reject my goals, which I need to do, but if I do not tell then I am going to be in a mess of lies since I am going to be working at night daily, and it would just be hard to work around with.
Title: Re: What if I am rejected? I am coming out within this month for sure.
Post by: confused on April 25, 2010, 02:35:28 AM
Post by: confused on April 25, 2010, 02:35:28 AM
good luck telling her . i think she would be fine with it , and sooner or later you are going to have to tell her , so just do it and see what happenes
good luck :)
good luck :)
Title: Re: What if I am rejected? I am coming out within this month for sure.
Post by: RAY on April 25, 2010, 01:48:26 PM
Post by: RAY on April 25, 2010, 01:48:26 PM
Do what you comfortable with. Its your life and only you can live it! Glad at least your mother talks with you. wish you the best at whatever you do . :)
Title: Re: What if I am rejected? I am coming out within this month for sure.
Post by: cynthialee on April 25, 2010, 02:11:39 PM
Post by: cynthialee on April 25, 2010, 02:11:39 PM
Excuse me as I pee in your wheeties...
Wouldn't telling your mom that you are gay be telling her a lie?
You are trans, not gay. If you like boys that makes you strait. Also by claiming you are gay you are probably dating gay men. What gay man do you know that wants his boyfriend to anounce one day that 'no I am really your girlfriend, Surprise!'.
If you feel safe enough to claim being gay then take it to the place of truth. "Mom, I am trans.."
JMHO
Best wishes.
Cynthia Lee
Wouldn't telling your mom that you are gay be telling her a lie?
You are trans, not gay. If you like boys that makes you strait. Also by claiming you are gay you are probably dating gay men. What gay man do you know that wants his boyfriend to anounce one day that 'no I am really your girlfriend, Surprise!'.
If you feel safe enough to claim being gay then take it to the place of truth. "Mom, I am trans.."
JMHO
Best wishes.
Cynthia Lee
Title: Re: What if I am rejected? I am coming out within this month for sure.
Post by: Janet_Girl on April 25, 2010, 03:05:44 PM
Post by: Janet_Girl on April 25, 2010, 03:05:44 PM
I was going to add my two cents, but Cynthia said it best.
But whatever you do, do it with pride and stand tall no matter who you wind up telling.
But whatever you do, do it with pride and stand tall no matter who you wind up telling.
Title: Re: What if I am rejected? I am coming out within this month for sure.
Post by: pamshaw on April 25, 2010, 05:58:56 PM
Post by: pamshaw on April 25, 2010, 05:58:56 PM
It may be difficult if you are rejected but you won't be rejected by everyone. I am transgendered and I can not change that. You are transgendered and can't change that. I waited too long to accept myself for the woman I am but I found most people were very supportive when I openly declared I was a woman internally and was going to become one externally. It was very liberating not to hide anymore. I ignored the few rejected me. Accept who you are and be proud.
Pam
Pam
Title: Re: What if I am rejected? I am coming out within this month for sure.
Post by: Diane Elizabeth on April 25, 2010, 11:03:59 PM
Post by: Diane Elizabeth on April 25, 2010, 11:03:59 PM
Are you Gay or are you Transgender? Isn't there a difference? If you are TG then why lie and say you are Gay, as Cynthialee said. Food for thought.
Title: Re: What if I am rejected? I am coming out within this month for sure.
Post by: Dana_W on April 25, 2010, 11:53:20 PM
Post by: Dana_W on April 25, 2010, 11:53:20 PM
Why risk that kind of rejection for anything less than the truth?
You might be gay, or you might not, but that's clearly not the whole story for you. Please think about it.
You might be gay, or you might not, but that's clearly not the whole story for you. Please think about it.
Title: Re: What if I am rejected? I am coming out within this month for sure.
Post by: Megan on April 26, 2010, 09:54:13 PM
Post by: Megan on April 26, 2010, 09:54:13 PM
Quote from: cynthialee on April 25, 2010, 02:11:39 PM
Excuse me as I pee in your wheeties...
Wouldn't telling your mom that you are gay be telling her a lie?
You are trans, not gay. If you like boys that makes you strait. Also by claiming you are gay you are probably dating gay men. What gay man do you know that wants his boyfriend to anounce one day that 'no I am really your girlfriend, Surprise!'.
If you feel safe enough to claim being gay then take it to the place of truth. "Mom, I am trans.."
JMHO
Best wishes.
Cynthia Lee
Well saying I am trans, means I would probably transition, and then I am not sure if I can do the transition. It's too much for me financially, and its not a priority right now to practically ruin my life based on the difficulties.
Then I am just not sure, since I kind of like my appearance as a guy, I'm not really ugly so I shouldn't ruin my looks. I'm not completely handsome either but that's because I am overweight, and I do not fix my appearance to perfection.
But as a woman I would be a dog unless I get some serious work done. It'll just be so much harder than now.
Plus I don't know if I am trans, but I kind of accepted to stay as a guy for now. I just come to Susans, since I like this place.
Title: Re: What if I am rejected? I am coming out within this month for sure.
Post by: cynthialee on April 28, 2010, 10:01:09 PM
Post by: cynthialee on April 28, 2010, 10:01:09 PM
...../sigh
ok Meg
Cool. Good luck sweetie and best of wishes in this matter.
ok Meg
Cool. Good luck sweetie and best of wishes in this matter.