Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hey guys, I told my school counselor I'm transgendered, and we're going to talk about it tomorrow.... I'm scared out of my mind! Is there a certain way to approach this? What should I say? I don't want to be a bother, but I don't know where else to go...

Does this school have a transgender/transsexual support group. If not is there a community support group in your area? Look at how this person treats you when you go in. I mean are their open to listen to you and not be judging you. this is a big step to do and hopefully it will ok. Just be yourself and relax, be postive, educate this person if you need to what you are going thru.  You not alone here at susan's place. Let us know how it went. ray :)

Quote from: Shiro M. on April 26, 2010, 11:22:16 PM
Hey guys, I told my school counselor I'm transgendered, and we're going to talk about it tomorrow.... I'm scared out of my mind! Is there a certain way to approach this? What should I say? I don't want to be a bother, but I don't know where else to go...

Hi Shiro,

Well done, congratulations, you are doing a very good thing. Talking to a therapist/ counselor is VERY EASY. Just be your self, don't be shy, tell them the truth, don't make stuff up. Be you. This is the first step to be feeling wonderful. No reason at all to be nervous, even if you are  :laugh:.
I hope it goes well darling and do post how you went. 

Hugs
Cindy

one of the things that has helped me when I talk to people who are in some professional category is to use the proper terms when talking to them. Let them know that you didn't just stumble upon the idea yesterday or anything.

And don't lie to them if you can help it. I know that sometimes we protect ourselves with lies, but they are there to help you, and that means that usually lying will hurt you in the long run. If however something is too difficult for you to talk about, instead of lying to avoid it, just tell them it is too hard to talk about.

Good luck, hopefully your talk will be productive.

Well. the talk went well. She seemed really off though when I talked to her, she would keep asking me how I was going to feel better about myself and stuff like that. I tried to bring up treatment like HRT that I can start while I'm still young, but I wasn't straight forward about it and it never ended up being discussed... I'm not sure that bringing up treatment is the best thing to do this early from first opening up, especially when she's probably unsure if I really am transgendered and that this is not just a teenage phase or something. But I just can't live like this for much longer, two and a half years I've been dealing with this, and every day amplifies the horrible feeling of being in this body, I'm already to the point where I'm cutting myself... Is there any way to bring up treatment this early? If there isn't, what would be that fastest way and how would I carry it out? Thank you guys for all the support you've already given.

~Shiro

Well, if she does prescribe them, is there a way I can get them without my dad knowing? I'm not sure I'm ready to tell him...

Insurance doesn't cover hormones, so technically your dad does not have to know. At the same time, hormones are pricey so you will probably need to get a job to afford them without your parent's help unless you have savings stashed away somewhere. You are the one most capable of any of us to gauge how your father will react, but if you think there's a chance he might be ok with it, I would suggest telling him. Parental help with finances will go along way if they agree to it. But like I say, you are the best judge of how your parents will react.

Does insurance cover anything that has to do with transitioning?

Quote from: Shiro M. on April 27, 2010, 07:42:49 PM
Does insurance cover anything that has to do with transitioning?

Actually, it depends on what insurance you have.  Some insurance policies cover some things related to transition.

Really? I didn't know that. Sadly, my insurance doesn't cover squat.  :(

You know something? My dad deserves to know. He has raised me and has always been there for me, he has always been the one I went to when things got really bad. I'm going to tell him sometime soon... maybe after discussing it more with my school counselor. Its better to get this taken care of now, with the help of my dad, than to just put off treatment until I'm 18. He'll find out one day and it will blow up in my face. I can't face him being proud of who I am, I can't really do that until something has been done about me being trapped in the wrong body... *sighs* I have to do this, it either that or I won't get treatment and jump off a cliff a year later.

Well done for having the courage to see your school counsellor! I wish I could have had that same courage in my teens, but such is life!

Have you asked your counsellor to refer you to somebody who is a gender specialist? I don't know what your school counsellor's qualifications and experience are, but it would be worth asking her. School counsellors are generally there for generalized help for all students and their problems, but I feel that something as complex as GID warrants more specialized intervention, especially at your age.

Also, is your school counsellor able to prescribe medication??? It sounds like you think so, from what you have said here. Most school counsellors - at least those whom I have come across - have counselling qualifications, but not medical or advanced psychology qualifications which are needed to prescribe drugs. Sooo if you are looking to get on anti-androgens she may have to refer you to another medical professional anyway.

I wish you all the best!

Andrea

... I'm at a loss. How do I even bring up treatment... How do I tell my dad... Sorry, I just feel lost. *sighs* Anyways, I was wondering what effects HRT has on the body and how it makes you feel as opposed to testosterone levels in a male. Could anyone tell me?

Quote from: Shiro M. on April 27, 2010, 10:39:54 PM
... I'm at a loss. How do I even bring up treatment... How do I tell my dad... Sorry, I just feel lost. *sighs* Anyways, I was wondering what effects HRT has on the body and how it makes you feel as opposed to testosterone levels in a male. Could anyone tell me?

https://www.susans.org/wiki/Hormone_replacement_therapy_%28male-to-female%29 (https://www.susans.org/wiki/Hormone_replacement_therapy_%28male-to-female%29)
https://www.susans.org/wiki/Gender_identity_disorder_in_children#Therapeutic_intervention (https://www.susans.org/wiki/Gender_identity_disorder_in_children#Therapeutic_intervention)

Pubertal delay as an aid in diagnosis and treatment of a transsexual adolescent
http://www.springerlink.com/content/n9k6yjp8x0f3bn8e/ (http://www.springerlink.com/content/n9k6yjp8x0f3bn8e/)

The Treatment of Adolescent Transsexuals: Changing Insights
http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/journal/119879140/abstract (http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/journal/119879140/abstract)

I remember when I was in high school I had essentially built a sort of big brother role for myself in interacting with others. I was head of the theatre program and got to direct a play I transposed for the stage: "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." I was head of the tuba section in band, and I was well respected and I doubt anyone thought there was anything wrong with me. But the role I had made for myself was just that: a role, another acting part in a play that was my entire life.

It wasn't until my freshman year of college that I had a nervous breakdown. Part of it was genetic of course, as I have schizophrenia. But a great part of it, I believe, was that I wasn't in the right body, but was too scared to change. It's great that you've come to this realization so young, not only for physical effects but emotional as well. Try to get your Dad on board, though. The process is so much easier with supportive parents.

Hey there :)

The only advice I can offer comes from my own mistakes.

Be grateful you did paid attention to the issue, don't just let it slide or distract yourself from it (or let others distract you). This is your *life* so take it seriously and let your conversations with your health providers reflect that.

Like Anthrogal, I tried to fit and I learned this no-nonsense butch persona, and that went on for as long as it did but I was never secure in it. Nobody knew I weas a different person. Something else to watch out for.

Your happines comes firsst.
All the best :D

I talked to my school counsellor some more and we've started to get things rolling. I'm going to leave him a note when he goes to work on Friday, so he'll have some time to absorb it. I'm hoping that things will go smoothly and I'll end up being on HRT soon, but that's probably too much to ask for.

Most school counsellors - at least those whom I have come across - have counselling qualifications, but not medical or advanced psychology qualifications which are needed to prescribe drugs. Sooo if you are looking to get on anti-androgens she may have to refer you to another medical professional anyway.

Pretty much this.  And the fact that if they could prescribe, the district would (for liability reasons, among others) not allow them to do so.  But they should help to point you in the right direction.

Well, there is a problem that I've been avoiding that I'd appreciate some help with. And I am perfectly mature so if anyone does offer to help I'd prefer that they keep that in mind and act mature as well.

Lately, I've experienced a MASSIVE testosterone surge aqnd my sex drive is quite literally out of control. Everything gets me hardened up, you could say "pudding" and the weird boy hormones and brain that I have will somehow figure out how to make that arousing. I usually just ignore my boy bits acting up but its starting to become painful, and I've had to start mastrubating simply to relieve pain. But, as some of you may have experienced, ordinary mastrubation is very unsastifying and almost never helps to relieve any sexual tension or urges I may have, and as a result, don't help with my boy bit problems.

If anyone could offer something that might help a little bit (not meds, I'm about to drop a huge bomb on my dad and he doesn't need to pay for more meds) please tell me. I don't care what it is, but if it might help I'll try it.

When I was a teen male raging with hormones my father would make me do hard exhuasting work until I was spent. Kinda takes the mind off sex. So find a log pile and start choping boy. LOL
no seriously do something very physical maybe go hit the gym

*sighs* That's the problem, I have no energy anyways. Its frustrating cause when I get kinda horny I play basketball, but as soon as I stop, I'm hard again.

I know this might sound a little bit facetious, but it's not meant to be. Maybe you could experiment with anal? You may find that far more satisfying.

Anal? Well, I've read about prostate stimulation and such. Is there a way to approach it? I'm not exactly sure what to do down there. And what did you "not meant to be"?

Ummmm - I think you need to figure out the whole anal thing for yourself, I'd feel a bit awkward talking about details here... you could search google for "anal sex how to" or some such thing.

Well... ok, I guess. I'll see what google turns up. So.... yeah, I guess I'll just see what I can do.

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Post Merge: April 30, 2010, 12:54:53 AM

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Umm, I'm not really getting anywhere, if anyone can help but doesn't want to post details, please pm me.

http://www.babeland.com/how-to-have-anal-sex.html (http://www.babeland.com/how-to-have-anal-sex.html)

Articles needs more pictures, but some of the quotes are classic.

all kinds of people enjoy it. And for good reason: it feels good!

Quote from: cynthialee on April 29, 2010, 11:02:59 PM
no seriously do something very physical maybe go hit the gym

I agree, also stay away from heavy weights.
Otherwise it will pair with T and make one bulk up with muscle and drive growth hormones higher. :embarrassed:

Quote
But, as some of you may have experienced, ordinary mastrubation is very unsastifying and almost never helps to relieve any sexual tension or urges I may have

Not to mention making you feel like trash before, during and after the act... :-\
Try different methods of sexual release, I thinnk there was a thread around here where some talked about female O's. You may find it very natural and a hundred fold more satisfying emotionally and all. My horniness just plummets for weeks afterwards ;)

I've never been that horny anyways, I've probably been low on T all along but whenver it happened it still was the .. thorn in my side... No more of that since I took anti-androgens, which by the way are not expensive.

I came out to my dad... he took it well. I'm just stressed as hell, and want to get things moving, but hes always viewed me as a boy and I just don't know.... We made an appoinment with a therapist equiped to handle this.... I don't know what to do now.... My sister can't find out she's only 11, stressed as hell.... Damn.... Any advice on how to get comfortable with this or something....? I'm lost...

Congratulations!!

Im just overflowing with happiness for you, please feel free to hug yourself on my behalf *hugggs* :-*

Part of newly coming out is how we think others see us and if they saw us for too long in a certain way... it gets better I promise, on both sides.

I wish I had come out to my entire family, maybe someday.
You'd be surprised what the young ones can wrap their heads around :)

And don't forget to breathe, smile, laugh go crazy and run the streets. Then wake up tomorow and nurture yourself, the girl that was meant to be. That's the best way I can express  it.

You're lucky and I wish you all the best.

Well done! That takes loads of courage. I still haven't even told my parents yet, but they live in another country.

On a side note: can someone please give me tips on anal (not involving toys). Google fails.  :(

What can I say... keep it hygienic and experiment!  :icon_redface:

Shiro,
Perhaps it would be better if you took your curent questions to the sexuality forum.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,36.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,36.0.html)

QuoteMy sister can't find out she's only 11,

?  Why not? What does being 11 have to do with anything?

Seriously, young children tend to better understand it than adults.

Quote from: Shiro M. on April 30, 2010, 06:18:33 PM
I came out to my dad... he took it well. I'm just stressed as hell, and want to get things moving, but hes always viewed me as a boy and I just don't know.... We made an appoinment with a therapist equiped to handle this.... I don't know what to do now.... My sister can't find out she's only 11, stressed as hell.... Damn.... Any advice on how to get comfortable with this or something....? I'm lost...

Hello Shiro,

"Time" is how you become comfortable with this.
That doesn't sound like a very fun answer nor a quick one, I know.  But I believe the best thing you can do is take the time to make the right choices - make informed choices.

I think you have done great so far with communicating to the right people about this.  Keep this up and don't let frustration, fear or doubt shut you down or shut you up.

And as for you sister - there is no reason not to tell her and every reason to, she can be one your greatest allies and insights.  Even if she were 5 years old, you or your parents would probably still do best to approach her with the subject sooner or later.  And besides, this isn't something that any of you should be ashamed of toward one another.  At least not how I see it.

As for the stress I would find a friend or two to confide in, and a support group of some kind if you can find one - your school counsel or your therapist may have suggestions for more support.  I would take advantage of all of the help you can get, even if it is "just talking."

I wish that I came out to my dad while he was still around, unfortunately I didn't have as much courage at that time.  I was way to worried about how he was going to react toward me and not focused on the positives it would have allowed us both if I had.

Wow I need to get to bed.  Trust that I'm not trying to tell you what to do... just trying to help.  In the end, it's your world, your body, and your happiness.


Cheers

My dad thinks I'm transgendered because of how I grew up, he said "this is not something you're born with." And I'm nervous about HRT, I have a feeling they'll run me in circles, make up some excuse, or flat ou deny me hormonal therapy. I have no friends to confide in, I played the male role too well.

Quote from: Shiro M. on May 05, 2010, 10:49:43 PM
My dad thinks I'm transgendered because of how I grew up, he said "this is not something you're born with."

I never get how this is a point.  However one comes to be trans, whatever the process really is, they still are trans.  Nature or nuture, chicken or egg...

It reminds me of getting in trouble in my brattier days and telling my parents, 'Well, it's either your genes or how you raised me that made me this way.  Maybe you should ground yourself ;D.'

I did have enough tact at least not to use that line when I came out to them about being trans, lol.

I give up, I can't do this anymore. Its too much pain, I can't take it. I just want it to stop. There's just too much, school, friends, parents, love, gender. I just want it to stop... I wish I was dead.

I know it sounds really lame, but this depression you have will eventually pass.  A lot, probably nearly all, of the people here have been in the same boat. 
As Rhalkos said, just chill out for a while, even have a good cry, and you can have things come back into focus.  Ring a crisis line if you feel you can't talk to anyone around you. They are trained to listen, and are there waiting to help.

Quote from: Shiro M. on May 06, 2010, 11:38:51 PM
I give up, I can't do this anymore. Its too much pain, I can't take it. I just want it to stop. There's just too much, school, friends, parents, love, gender. I just want it to stop... I wish I was dead.

Hi Shiro,
we've all been there...just the fact that you're in distress shows something is not right or you'd be out with all the guys chasing girls and driven along by that testo surge.
You really need some input from a professional who has the brains to tell you that the testo surge is independent of your real nature and that having an erection does not mean you are 100% male.
Ask to see a therapist.

I met with a gender therapist today, and I'm going to see her again in a week. We talked alot about things going on and about crossdressing I could do, and about HRT. The plan is foe me to start on anti androgens and to continue seeing her. I'm not really sure how long its going to take to get on estrogen, and I'm kinda anxious about that...