Susan's Place Transgender Resources

This is not so much about how to make my voice more fem...it's well on the way to sounding passable, it's more about building the confidence to use it.

The issue I'm finding is that beyond a handful of people I just can't seem use my fem voice...i get self concious and tense up and bang...I can't do it. It's really getting me down as well, especially as I'm out to all my house mates and there is absolutely no reason for me not to use it at home. I can chat to two of my house mates perfectly happily...if it's just us in the room, but if there's more than 2 of us...it's just useless.

Does anyone have any tips on getting past this? I was thinking it would be a good idea to really push my comfort zone and not use boy mode voice while I'm doing counselling, but if anyone has any other tips I'd be soooooo grateful.

I would love to be able to help - but you have heard my voice on the phone and it's the only one I've got. I never really had a properly male voice, so the question didn't really ever arise for me.

However what I have heard form others is that lots of practice is the key. Like many things the sound of ones own voice is partly habitual. So after a while when you have got used to the new sound it won't take so much effort to produce it. Part of the problem is that you probably still feel a bit awkawrd doing it, and if so you really just need to get used to the sound.

Also if you find it a strain to do it for a sustained period just try to start the conversation in your new mode and then don't worry if you gradually let it go as the conversation progresses.  It might be good to try and learn a way to ease gently between modes rather than having a sudden "switch". Estrogen, whilst it doesn't change your pitch, may subtly alter the tone you use too - and that may help.

My own opinion, as you know is that when you get used to doing it, your voice is pretty darned good. I've heard long term postops that sound far less convincing an natural than you did. So Practice Practice Practice.

Your pitch and intonation are good as is your style of speech. If I didn't know, I would assume that you were an old hand at this game because apart from confidence you have it pretty weel weighed off in my opinion - and that is having heard you on the phone -which is the most difficult test.

I hope that is at least of some help - and with luck others may be able to do even better!

Like Jenny said, practice as much as you can.. ;)

Most mobile phones have a record function...good for checking how you sound and confidence..
If you have a car, then practice, nobody will know you don't have a hands free these days..
Support Groups...love them or hate them..it's still another safe place to practice...

The support group I've been going to recently meet in a bar across the street before and after meetings which gives extra time to practice, and later in the evening the added challenge of increasing volume to be heard at all.. ::)

And don't forget to check the great voice coaching links on this site in "help & how to's".. ;D

...and some more links in the wiki

https://www.susans.org/wiki/Voice_therapy (https://www.susans.org/wiki/Voice_therapy)

A lot of the links are to some great DIY resources on YouTube...and dont forget you can get a free grabber/player of the web if you want to store them locally...

Good Luck   

:icon_hug:

Chrissty

I feel the same way... I practice and practice and sometimes think it's even passable. Then when the time comes, I get all self consious and revert back to my boy voice.

I've taken to ordering at the drive thru using my girl voice. It mus be working, b/c I've thrown quite a few people off!! Lol.

Any other tips would be great!! :)

I can't remember who it was, but one lady who ran her own little TV show (pun intended) in her home "The Transmission" had a fantastic section on voice training. It went a lot more in depth beyond the typical "sing in A minor" advice. I recall finding it in the links somewhere here on Susans, but it's lost to me now :(

aww, thanks Jenny...I guess I've been lucky with my voice...it was almost there anyway, plus I've always been good at accents and 10 years of being a musician probably helped to...it was really just like learning another instrument.

I've spent the last couple of days practising and have managed brief conversations with people, but again it's only really been Heidi and Claire...and there'd been no one else in the room. I quite like the idea of using counselling sessions to practice...if I can get comfortable using my voice in front of one person, then it'll be easier around other people. Until then I'll just carry on recording myself and waffling on at the cat, tho she always looks bored. hehe :laugh:

I have found the more you have to use it in social situations the easier it comes.  And the easier it comes the more it becomes natural.

I was just thinking, have you heard of the phone test? That's a great way to see how passable you are. Just call up some random bookstore etc. and have them run a check for an obscure item for you. If you get ma'amed you're golden.

She kind of did the phone test with me. She cold called me for the first time at a time when I wasn't expecting her to call - I heard a woman - no question. :)

(hopefully she did too) ;)

Quote from: rejennyrated on May 04, 2010, 04:24:07 AM
She kind of did the phone test with me. She cold called me for the first time at a time when I wasn't expecting her to call - I heard a woman - no question. :)

(hopefully she did too) ;)

I do...about 60% of the time and generally the first 30 seconds of anything i say. If all I ever did was introduce myself I'd be fine.

Quote from: Rhalkos on May 04, 2010, 04:29:49 AM
May I ask if you are full time?
If you're not, you'll find that when you are full time, you're kind of forced to use your female voice or feel even more ill at ease for using the wrong voice.

Not yet, I can't realistically hope to pass before I've cleared the beard significantly...This gives me a lot of time to practices the voice tho...which is why the social anxiety is doubly annoying, my voice is the one thing I have any control over right now...everything else is a waiting game. grrr