Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: BoyDani on May 17, 2010, 10:31:14 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Crappy Day
Post by: BoyDani on May 17, 2010, 10:31:14 PM
Post by: BoyDani on May 17, 2010, 10:31:14 PM
I had my first majorly dysphoric day. I swear to god more people in my entire life called me a 'lady' 'she' 'her' 'hers' and 'girl' and ALL of that today. I never minded my breasts before, I didn't like them but I wasn't particularly hateful and by God they're just so ugly and revolting today... I just felt like beating in everyone's faces that called me a girl and crying myself to sleep... what do you guys do on these type of days? Any suggestions for me, please?
Also, any of you guys have any luck finding people over gay chatrooms? I'm so jealous of cisgendered guys who get to hook up so easily. I don't mean to sound needy at all, but do you guys have any idea one a place to find a boyfriend? I'm majorly lonely and depressed as of late and I'm kind of worried I'm going to be put back into my old suicidal nature.
Also, any of you guys have any luck finding people over gay chatrooms? I'm so jealous of cisgendered guys who get to hook up so easily. I don't mean to sound needy at all, but do you guys have any idea one a place to find a boyfriend? I'm majorly lonely and depressed as of late and I'm kind of worried I'm going to be put back into my old suicidal nature.
Title: Re: Crappy Day
Post by: Nygeel on May 17, 2010, 10:45:57 PM
Post by: Nygeel on May 17, 2010, 10:45:57 PM
When I get PMSy I get extremely dysphoric and things involving gender get super bothersome. I'm straight (for the most part) and when I did try to hook up with a pansexual woman she went on and on how she was uncomfortable touching me...I told her it was okay. I can't do booty calls any more. Not enough people are comfortable with me as much as I am with myself (which isn't much).
Title: Re: Crappy Day
Post by: BoyDani on May 17, 2010, 10:49:28 PM
Post by: BoyDani on May 17, 2010, 10:49:28 PM
I'm not even looking for sex, honestly. Just someone to talk to and share emotions. I'm wholly disgusted by my female bits and the idea of anyone touching me is enough to make me feel like vomiting. And I'm sorry to hear about that.
Title: Re: Crappy Day
Post by: Nygeel on May 17, 2010, 10:54:07 PM
Post by: Nygeel on May 17, 2010, 10:54:07 PM
Quote from: BoyDani on May 17, 2010, 10:49:28 PMI get that with my close friends, and I still talk to my ex in the same way as when we were together.
I'm not even looking for sex, honestly. Just someone to talk to and share emotions. I'm wholly disgusted by my female bits and the idea of anyone touching me is enough to make me feel like vomiting. And I'm sorry to hear about that.
Title: Re: Crappy Day
Post by: BoyDani on May 17, 2010, 10:56:42 PM
Post by: BoyDani on May 17, 2010, 10:56:42 PM
My close friends either don't accept or don't understand it :/. I can't really talk to anyone. I either get blown off, ignored, or one friend tries to make jokes that end up with me feeling like it's trivial, though I know she's attempting to help. I suppose it doesn't really matter in the end as long as I keep my head up and I keep going.
Title: Re: Crappy Day
Post by: Nygeel on May 17, 2010, 11:02:56 PM
Post by: Nygeel on May 17, 2010, 11:02:56 PM
Quote from: BoyDani on May 17, 2010, 10:56:42 PMNot having supportive friends blows (not in a good way)! I've been out as male for 3 years so everybody has adjusted. I've kept the people around that were cool with it and the people that were not got the boot.
My close friends either don't accept or don't understand it :/. I can't really talk to anyone. I either get blown off, ignored, or one friend tries to make jokes that end up with me feeling like it's trivial, though I know she's attempting to help. I suppose it doesn't really matter in the end as long as I keep my head up and I keep going.
Title: Re: Crappy Day
Post by: fastknight on May 17, 2010, 11:21:00 PM
Post by: fastknight on May 17, 2010, 11:21:00 PM
Dude, I have days like the above when everyone addresses me as or verbalizes the fact that they think I'm female or when I get body image hatred so bad that I get just about impossible to be around.
Usually, I get to a place where I can do this and I run until I'm exhausted. This either makes me feel incredibly powerful or too tired to really think about fighting. This works fairly well for me, but when I'm angry in the moment, I slap my face with my hand. Yes, weird, but it lets me bottle up some of that anger/frustration and save it for later.
I'm also known to rant a lot to my sister or my dad, as both are really good listeners and they seem to understand my transitioning fairly well. I am an animal guy, personally, so going to visit my horse, goats or holding my cat in my lap calms me down. My girlfriend and I don't really talk about my being born FTM much, but just talking about even an unrelated subject helps my anger ebb away.
I'm straight, as well, but I'd imagine finding a boyfriend is similar to finding a girlfriend, which means I have absolutely no advice to give except maybe join a local group that focuses around something that interests you, perhaps? Maybe there might be someone there for you who shares the same interests?
Usually, I get to a place where I can do this and I run until I'm exhausted. This either makes me feel incredibly powerful or too tired to really think about fighting. This works fairly well for me, but when I'm angry in the moment, I slap my face with my hand. Yes, weird, but it lets me bottle up some of that anger/frustration and save it for later.
I'm also known to rant a lot to my sister or my dad, as both are really good listeners and they seem to understand my transitioning fairly well. I am an animal guy, personally, so going to visit my horse, goats or holding my cat in my lap calms me down. My girlfriend and I don't really talk about my being born FTM much, but just talking about even an unrelated subject helps my anger ebb away.
I'm straight, as well, but I'd imagine finding a boyfriend is similar to finding a girlfriend, which means I have absolutely no advice to give except maybe join a local group that focuses around something that interests you, perhaps? Maybe there might be someone there for you who shares the same interests?
Title: Re: Crappy Day
Post by: Walter on May 18, 2010, 05:41:26 AM
Post by: Walter on May 18, 2010, 05:41:26 AM
I've had these days. Now that it's mentioned, it tends to be my period that sets these days off
I can't really offer any advice..except that when the period hormones settle down, so do the dysphoric problems. I mean, they're still there but not as intense. I guess
I sort of have a best friend, but he lacks in things that I could use in a friend. He's a BFF in a certain way..so I can only talk to him about certain things and gender stuff isn't really one of them
I'd like to have someone to talk with when days just don't work out for me. Especially when it comes to gender
I can't really offer any advice..except that when the period hormones settle down, so do the dysphoric problems. I mean, they're still there but not as intense. I guess
I sort of have a best friend, but he lacks in things that I could use in a friend. He's a BFF in a certain way..so I can only talk to him about certain things and gender stuff isn't really one of them
I'd like to have someone to talk with when days just don't work out for me. Especially when it comes to gender
Title: Re: Crappy Day
Post by: BoyDani on May 19, 2010, 01:46:34 AM
Post by: BoyDani on May 19, 2010, 01:46:34 AM
I'm usually only a bit more dysphoric on my monthly days, but never as dysphoric as I've been for the last two days. Wicked awful... I'll just struggle through.
Title: Re: Crappy Day
Post by: kisschittybangbang on May 19, 2010, 02:45:23 AM
Post by: kisschittybangbang on May 19, 2010, 02:45:23 AM
In my experience... every guy deals with it differently and doesn't actually deal with it at all. Not to sound negative, but most guys kind of just wait it out... It's a horrid thing to go through alone. I had both transmen than I've been involved with say that having someone around can either help or make it worse... that part is up in the air.
Dear just don't beat yourself up about it. You just have to hold onto that whole ONE DAY aspect.
As for a boyfriend... I've found that until you love yourself and are comfortable with yourself, being in a relationship is pointless. Focus on getting comfortable with yourself and building a supportive circle of friends and family for now. Romance will come in due time
Dear just don't beat yourself up about it. You just have to hold onto that whole ONE DAY aspect.
As for a boyfriend... I've found that until you love yourself and are comfortable with yourself, being in a relationship is pointless. Focus on getting comfortable with yourself and building a supportive circle of friends and family for now. Romance will come in due time
Title: Re: Crappy Day
Post by: Walter on May 19, 2010, 04:32:10 AM
Post by: Walter on May 19, 2010, 04:32:10 AM
Quote from: kisschittybangbang on May 19, 2010, 02:45:23 AM
As for a boyfriend... I've found that until you love yourself and are comfortable with yourself, being in a relationship is pointless. Focus on getting comfortable with yourself and building a supportive circle of friends and family for now. Romance will come in due time
I second this. My last relationship with a MtF failed due to problems like this in my life
Title: Re: Crappy Day
Post by: accord03 on May 21, 2010, 05:59:53 AM
Post by: accord03 on May 21, 2010, 05:59:53 AM
Fastknight - I do the same by hitting/slapping myself across the face so many times when I'm angry/frustrated :P I just slowed down abit lately but it does help
Boydani - Its true that you got to learn to love yourself first before anybody else loves you. Plus, relationships are just bonus in life. Nobody actually NEEDS them, they just WANT it. Right now, get yourself together and keep living life.
Boydani - Its true that you got to learn to love yourself first before anybody else loves you. Plus, relationships are just bonus in life. Nobody actually NEEDS them, they just WANT it. Right now, get yourself together and keep living life.