Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So I just got word from my mom's church that people are currently fasting and praying on their knees for hours for my salvation.

I wonder if they are flogging themselves as well because that would be interesting ...

This is just so insane I really don't know what to do.  My parents continue their campaign of not having any contact with me or my children out of 'love'.   In case she tries to see the children at their schools we have alerted them to not allow her on the grounds.  I will get a restraining order if I have to because the last thing they need is this kind of poison in their lives.

Wow. Some people are just crazy.

Quote from: ƃuıxǝʌ on June 01, 2010, 07:11:43 PM
Are they the kind of church who perform physical exorcisms as well? Because those can be pretty damn dangerous - not to mention illegal. More than one person has died from being kidnapped then drowned/burned/stabbed during one of these 'rites'.
A restraining order sounds like and excellent idea.

Nice tongue.  They could be for all I know.  I shudder to think what Mom has told them.  I'm surprised the possibility of me being possessed by a demon hasn't come up yet.  At this point she is mostly blaming my partner which is a huge strain on him.  I swear if all her hate causes him to leave me I will never forgive her. 

lol well remember my mom wants to perform an exorcism on me. She's actually seeing a priest this week. Strangely I am a very strong catholic but I believe the Bible is 100% metaphoric and should be read personally. When people come together to "pray" for God to "cure" homosexuality/transsexuality etc. it just seems like cult like activity.

I feel so bad for God. He loves you, you know! :)

Quote from: TheOtherSide on June 01, 2010, 07:30:50 PM
lol well remember my mom wants to perform an exorcism on me. She's actually seeing a priest this week. Strangely I am a very strong catholic but I believe the Bible is 100% metaphoric and should be read personally. When people come together to "pray" for God to "cure" homosexuality/transsexuality etc. it just seems like cult like activity.

I feel so bad for God. He loves you, you know! :)

Yes I remember that.  God be with you brother.  The right God, the true God who loves you exactly how he made you.  Yes I know he loves me and I know this is my plan for my life.  After much soul searching I am convinced of this. 

Of course try telling that to a woman who runs retching from a room whenever there is the slightest hint of lesbianism on the television screen. 

Dang wtcrap, that's a trip.

Let them and try your best to ignore them.  I used to be a very devout Catholic (aka-- went to Mass every single day and prayed liturgy of the hours with our friars every single day) and I'm converting to Judaism tomorrow (nervous!!!).  I have all kinds of priests and friars and nuns and old church ladies praying rosaries for me to come back to Catholicism.  I hate the feeling of it.  I think maybe it's the fact that they don't see me as good enough and not only do they see themselves as good enough, they see themselves as so good that they can will me into being good enough.  It's a very degrading feeling.  I HATE when people tell others that they'll pray for them against their will.  But I'm too much of a nice guy to shoot anyone down when they tell me stuff like that, so I just ignore it and avoid those people.

One thing that might be able to help if you are involved with religion then seeing if you can get yourself and them involved with a Unitarian Universalist Church it could help ya.

I would go with the thought of "it's their choice to do what they are doing."

Sorry to hear that. I too have been a victim of needless praying and am living proof that prayer doesn't work.

Stand your ground and do what it takes to protect your family because a christian's version of "love" can be very different than how sane people view love.

I have to say that in my opinion it is bloody rude and presumptuous to pray for someone who explicitly doesn't want it.

Squirrel, I'm sorry this is happening, but you seem to be taking it in stride. Maybe you should get that restraining order ASAP. You do NOT want anybody mucking around with your children, and some folks will do just that "in their best interests."

Stay strong, man.

P.S. It's not really Christianity woes, is it? More like extremist woes.

Quote from: ƃuıxǝʌ on June 01, 2010, 08:10:35 PM
I've been thinking about this.
You should tell them that you feel you'll be cured if they fast and pray to the exclusion of everything else for 4 weeks.
When it doesn't work, tell them that they obviously didn't try hard enough (their faith isn't strong enough) and that they need to try again.
And again, and again.
Until they get the picture.

Lol, that's so cruel, but it'd work.

Or I'd hope it would work... they might be too far off the deep end.

Thanks you guys.  I do feel violated to be honest but what can you do.  People have extreme views and if that's how they want to burn away their lives it's not my problem. 

I am secure in the fact that I am doing the right thing.  Clearly this is not going to be an easy road for me but I have to do what I have to do.  Since I am so sure I am doing the right thing I just have to believe that one way or another it will all work out. 

I suppose it is a belief of my own but I do believe the universe does balance itself out in the end. 

Prayers, fasting and flogging are forms of placing a curse on someone.  Which is against their precious book.

Quote from: ƃuıxǝʌ on June 01, 2010, 09:19:59 PM
If it's any consolation, my parents are fundies in the opposite direction. They're atheists and biological essentialists who believe that I'm just crazy and need to be fixed with therapy - no matter how extreme that therapy may be.
Fortunately I signed my enduring power of attorney over to my boyfriend, so that they can't commit me to a mental institute.

Ugh, I've met someone like that. It wasn't fun at all.

Get a restraining order.

Quote from: cynthialee on June 01, 2010, 09:29:16 PM
Get a restraining order.

LMAO

She is just trying to be helpful.  Why are you laughing?  I don't get the joke.  A restraining order does seem reasonable when she is being so unreasonable.  Of course I need proper cause but if I get it I will act rationally.

I'm a christian and that's just ridiculous! My mom did kind of the same thing with me. She thought she had to hold my hand and pray that the demons would go away and I wouldn't want to be a girl anymore. IMO they just don't understand it well enough, I tried showing me mom some books about it and stuff but she just ignores them. She only wants me to talk to a pastor or someone about it and not a therapist. She even refuses to help me out with finances because she thinks I'm being evil and she doesn't want to support evil. So I can't use her insurance. Oh well with hard work I'm sure I can do this myself and (hopefully) move out so I don't have to deal with my mom anymore. Anyway, sorry got a little off topic there.

Have you told them you are praying for them to be blessed with understanding of you?
Joining another Denomination might be an option, if you find one that is welcoming, but I would go with the Court order, if they are as extreme as you say.
It might be expensive in Dollars, but cheap in the long run.

I'm not at all Christian. I'm anything but. I'm Wiccan/Pagan, but I'm not religious. I just like alot of the wiccan beliefs and also some pagan ones, and I form my own beliefs around those and personal experience. If they're going to cut you off, cut them off. YOu don't need them. It's their loss.

Quote from: ƃuıxǝʌ on June 01, 2010, 09:19:59 PM
If it's any consolation, my parents are fundies in the opposite direction. They're atheists and biological essentialists who believe that I'm just crazy and need to be fixed with therapy - no matter how extreme that therapy may be.
Fortunately I signed my enduring power of attorney over to my boyfriend, so that they can't commit me to a mental institute.

While what you had to do is understandable it is absolutely apaling that it is sometimes necessary. The science religion types are, if anything, even more dangerous as they can sometimes get the law on their side.

Squirrel.

I normally avoid criticising the religious beliefs of others. But what these people are doing is completely self centred. They are behaving as if they are the ones sufferring. Woe to them.

Please take care of yursef and your family. Grab your husband and tell him that no matter what, you need his absolute support now and he has yours.

Seems like you might need to cleanse yourself after so much bad energy. What I mean is maybe having no contact at all (not even emails) until they disappear, and then maybe something symbolic with you and your kids to move forward. 

You're very brave.. I don't know how you are doing this.  It makes me sick just reading about it.  Your mom is ill.. if I were you I would not engage at all. Nothing. 

But hey man, stay strong.  You have no reason for shame, and you don't have to take that kind of ->-bleeped-<-.

See, here's the thing.
Based on what you've told us, I would think that there is some chance that she will take legal action to try and take the kids.
IF she attempts to do so, she might lie and lie big.

What you should do is be honest in that case, and I do believe it will help if you keep track of "everything" that she tells you. Be it in email, mail, over the phone et cetera.
Get a folder going.
Document the madness!
Just in case you have to prove just how much madness you've had to deal with at her hands, the sort of madness your kids would have to deal with if she'd have her way.
So that you're perfectly equipped to show, clear as day, that they are better off with you.

Also, I'd make sure they aren't ever left unwatched.

You never know just how far extremists will go.
I'd hate to read a quick message on the forum where you're telling us that you'll be afk a while due to your mum kidnapping her grandchildren.

That has to be hard, someone being damaging to you out of love for you. Like a stream being directed the wrong way.

Thanks for your concern Miniar and everyone else.  I am actually worried about the same thing.  Kidnapping or using the state against me.  My partner and I both are.  We have changed the locks and the electrical key punch system on the garage.  Believe me we have saved every insane email.  We have altered the schools to keep their eye out and we are keeping a close eye on the boys. 

I would like to say that in these last few weeks she has become a different person, but that wouldn't quite be true.  She has always been manipulative and controlling of me.  This is just the first time I have actually fought back.  The more I resist the worse it gets as she can't take losing her hold on me.  This is only because I really don't think I have a choice.  I need to be who I am.  There is no other option.  I've had some hardships in my life that prepared me for this I suppose.  Just something else to get through but I can do it.  I know I can.

Quote from: Squirrel698 on June 02, 2010, 05:51:56 PM
I know I can.

Yep :)

I would be seriously tempted to move and not leave a forwarding address.

Quote from: jmaxley on June 02, 2010, 09:08:18 PM
I would be seriously tempted to move and not leave a forwarding address.

Thats how I would handle it

Quote from: Squirrel698 on June 02, 2010, 05:51:56 PM
Thanks for your concern Miniar and everyone else.  I am actually worried about the same thing.  Kidnapping or using the state against me.  My partner and I both are.  We have changed the locks and the electrical key punch system on the garage.  Believe me we have saved every insane email.  We have altered the schools to keep their eye out and we are keeping a close eye on the boys. 

I would like to say that in these last few weeks she has become a different person, but that wouldn't quite be true.  She has always been manipulative and controlling of me.  This is just the first time I have actually fought back.  The more I resist the worse it gets as she can't take losing her hold on me.  This is only because I really don't think I have a choice.  I need to be who I am.  There is no other option.  I've had some hardships in my life that prepared me for this I suppose.  Just something else to get through but I can do it.  I know I can.

our mothers are the same. My mom has serious control issues. I compare her to the mother in Mommie Dearest. Everything about her is superficial so all of her emotional BS is thrown on me. People like us always have to remember that we are not owned by our parents. God is the Father. Yes, our parents bring us into this world but we're all spirits. We're a giant family. Going through this transition won't be a lesson just for you but also for her.

I am still having hell with my mom. She's now getting her friends to email me. Apparently everyone thinks I need serious psychological help. haha well good thing I'm 8 1/2 weeks on T. Nothing is stopping from moving forward now no matter how hard it may be.

keep moving forward!!!!

What has me worried is the concept some of the fanatics have that as long as they save your soul anything and everything they do to attain that is justified and god sanctioned. That is a dangerous brew.

Please dude, if you have the time to go get a restraining order do so. Soon.

Quote from: Squirrel698 on June 02, 2010, 05:51:56 PM
Thanks for your concern Miniar and everyone else.  I am actually worried about the same thing.  Kidnapping or using the state against me.  My partner and I both are.  We have changed the locks and the electrical key punch system on the garage.  Believe me we have saved every insane email.  We have altered the schools to keep their eye out and we are keeping a close eye on the boys. 

-.- Good. I do hope the precautions aren't "needed".


*hugs*

Thanks everyone.  I am actually feeling better today.  I went to visit my own church and my own paster last night.  I live about an hour away from my parents so we attend different churches.  Which is another reason this whole thing is so messed up.  I haven't even meant the people who are fasting for my benefit.  They don't even know me. 

Any rate with my own paster he was bewildered but willing to listen to me.  Interested in my position and the journey I have been on to reach this conclusion.  He didn't condemn me and says I am welcome to continue to visit the church.  He can't promise every one of the members would be as open but that's to be expected among the older generation.  He referred me to a man who works with the GLBT community to help build bridges and not walls between parents and GLBT children.  Right now I want nothing to do with my parents but perhaps some point in the distant future I might give him a call.       

You're a strong man Squirrel. Just do as everyone says and document all her madness and threats. That way if legal action needs to be taken you have your arsenal. I have a feeling that the courts would take you more seriously if you can prove your mother and her friends' threats, manipulation and fear mongering (yes, that's what it is).

It's good you alerted your children's school and took safety measures. If you feel you need to issue a restraining order don't hesitate. There have been much less controversial situations where the children were kidnapped by family and never seen again. Don't let that happen- no matter what.

maybe instead of playing defense with you parents you should start playing offense.. here in Fl if you've told someone to stop calling/emailing you and they continue to that's harassment, and grounds for a restraining order/harassment charge.. if you not only have harassing emails, but police documentation, even just an incident report... then God forbid if they do take you to court for custody you'd be in much better standing (then again this is just what I'm finding out from helping my sister with her ex-bf sperm donor). either way best of luck to you.

Quote from: jmaxley on June 02, 2010, 09:08:18 PM
I would be seriously tempted to move and not leave a forwarding address.

That's what I did when I was 16. It wasn't even gender issues that triggered my mother's manipulative-control-freak meltdown, and it wasn't even complicated by religion. Some people are just like that. It's toxic. At least you're an adult, you can avoid being sucked in.