Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I've been meaning to get one for a while, but have a few questions/concerns.
I'd like to be able to find a good, but reasonably priced one in the UK, rather than having to pay extortionate postage costs.

1. I'm a really skinny guy, do they make harnesses that would fit me without too much hassle? I'm a 28" in jeans.
2. How much hassle is it to get on and off? I don't want the moment to pass while I'm getting it sorted.
3. I'm after something of a realistic size/shape/colour. Any recommendations?
4. Guys on T: Do you have trouble with the base rubbing and irritating your own dick?
5. I'm not the most coordinated person. How easy is it to control and use? I don't want to get the wrong hole, haha.
6. Does the material matter? I'd be using it with condoms.

Thanks guys.

I'll try to answer as many questions as I can...

1. Harnesses are adjustable, and I think they usually say the waist range. If you can't find one small enough for you, you can just punch a hole in the leather like you would a belt, I think.

2. It depends on the harness. Cheaper ones tend not to hold their adjustments well, but a good one you should be able to slip on pretty quick. I have a black Jaguar Harness (http://store.babeland.com/harnesses-2-strap/jaguar-harness) and it goes on with very little hassle.

5. You get used to it-- and it's easier if you have it positioned in the right place. I find the hardest part is getting it in, so I usually use a hand too to help guide it.

6. For the dildo or the harness? I wouldn't recommend a cloth harness, just because the one I had was pretty crappy and the leather one I have is nice (but it was much more expensive). As for the dildo, it also depends on what kind of lube you're using. A silicone dildo + silicone lube is a bad idea because it can break down the material (not sure how much condoms prevent that).

The squareparts joque will fit you. It's very adjustable and can go from really small to pretty big. One that is adjusted you don't have to adjust it again. It's just like putting on a jock strap.
If you're looking for a realistic dick (I don't call my stuff dildos...it's like an extension of myself) a good company to use would be vixen creations. They make one of realistic size and texture. They're also made of silicone so they can be cleaned completely between partners.

Material does matter. Rubber, cyberskin, and jelly all have a really odd smell which can make things unpleasant.

I meant the material for the dildo itself. If lube breaks down silicone, would I be able to use a silicone one with condoms?

Although, I can't afford much. I'd like to start out with a cheap one as a tester really. Don't want to spend god knows how much on a silicone one and find out I don't really enjoy it.

Most lubes (inexpensive) ones are not made of silicone, it's water based. KY for example.

Of course. I knew that 8)

Any suggestions for a realistic-ish and reasonably priced dildo?
That's another thing, is there some sort of universal dildo/strap compatibility?

The squareparts I know has a rubber band type of opening for the shaft...it adjusts for all sizes. There are some that you have to buy different O-rings to use with it. Adam and Eve has a realistic one for $25 (USD)/17.38GBP.

Right, a lot of them use O-rings that need to be the right diameter to fit the dildo; you can usually remove the ring and replace it with whatever size ring you want. Some strap-ons come with various sizes; just compare the diameter of the ring to that of the dildo.

Just a warning. As much as I love my spareparts harness... I have one issue.

If you get it in black instead of white, make sure you wash it well before your first use. The dye is NOT colorfast and now the base of my 80 dollar dick is stained purplish. New meaning to blue balls? You be the judge.

Another vote for Vixen creations. Lovely silicone. Really, if you want something nice, go for silicone. Just about everything else has a weird smell that makes the entire experience quite unpleasant. Think tire yard. Just not conducive to the nookie.

Uuhmm... My man and I like Boy butter (The water based version) and Liquid silk for lubes. Stay away from oil based ones if there's any chance it could gloop onto girlybits. Oil based doesn't mix well with the vajayjay. Silicone doesn't work with silicone toys, so it's best to stick with water based. Liquid silk is excellent for people with sensitive skin, as it's also glycerin free. Boy Butter (water based) is good for the butt loving if that's what you're into. It's a good deal thicker than liquid silk, but having both on hand can be handy.

I didn't realize that it would turn everything bluish! Surprised the crap out of me. I wore it with the goodfella (LOVE!). Machine washable for the win!! They do make it in white. Vixen creations just feels real.

And oil based cannot be used with condoms.

1. Most are adjustable, or come in different sizes. You should be able to find one that fits you.

2. Imo they're a big hassle, by the time you get it on its like ahg. I personally just use boxer briefs &put it through the hole.

3. Id say the goodfella.

4. Not on T, but I like it when it rubs cause it stimulates me/feels real.

5. Mmm you'd probably have to use one hand to hold it into place/control where to put it.

6. Silicone is the best material out there.

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Post Merge: June 09, 2010, 12:13:02 AM

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Quote from: Ryan on June 08, 2010, 06:38:43 PM
Any suggestions for a realistic-ish and reasonably priced dildo?
That's another thing, is there some sort of universal dildo/strap compatibility?

There's a cyberskin one, feels very real. Comes in 6"-8" I believe. I think they're about $40-45.

And there is, will you be buying online? Cause shops would help you find a perfect fit.

No using fats with latex, and no using silicone with silicone, so water based lubes are the safest bet in all "positions".

I, personally, don't really like any of the harnesses I've tried, but then I'm skilled with rope and just tie mine on in 30 seconds flat, more if I'm feeling "pretty". I'm even considering doing it with ribbon one day as a "dressed up" treat for hubby.

I do find that by tying it in place, I can position it so that it rubs against "me" the right way.

One word: Feeldoe.

More words: It's strapless! 82USD for the 5" one, 88USD for the 6" one, 10USD more for a vibrating one. Basically, you feel good while your partner feels good. Instead of with regular strap-ons where you have to either buy two dildos or one of the expensive ones that come with two.. I plan on getting this once I come into some money.

As far as regular strap-ons go, I have no idea. :x Can't be of much help there.

Oh jeebuz...I hate the feeldoe.

Why do you hate it? o_o

I've got a huge list of reasons.

If you use it you (for the most part) have to be penetrated. The bulb end for the person who is for the most part the one doing the penetrating is fairly small and oddly shaped. The bulb end can hurt/bruise if you go a little rough. Depending on your body type there's only a few inches of the actual "penisy" shaped part for your partner. It's held in using the muscles down there so if you're not experienced with kegals or whatever it could easily slip out. It doesn't come in realistic colors. Ummm the vibrations suck and those bumps don't hit the right places. It doesn't have enough give. The angle is a bit off, too.

Well penetration doesn't bother me. I'm having straight sex right now with my trans girlfriend soo.. Yeah I try not to let my dysphoria get in the way of my sex life. As for the small bit, they do make bigger ones.. Thankfully not for too much more money. And if you're with a guy who's a gay sex newbie I guess it's for the better.

As for it hurting, yikes. Like how rough are you talking? Like the whole house is shaking or just rougher than normal?

I read in their FAQ section that if you don't do kegal stuff that you can just cut a hole in some bike shorts or tight underwear and it keeps it situated just fine. But kegal exercises are good to do anyways, if you enjoy sex at all lol.

Colors I couldn't care less about. My packer right now is a delightful shade of pink and I don't mind. Just don't look down? hahaha~

I'm not surprised that the vibrators suck. I wouldn't imagine that teeny thing doing much. :/

I probably would dremel tool off the bumps and smooth it out again.. It even looks uncomfortable.

As for the angle and the giving, maybe that varies from person to person? I don't know, I'm gonna give it a try anyways.

There are a lot of people that are FAAB that just don't like penetration. It's a preference not related to dysphoria. People enjoy sex in whatever way they have it. Me, personally I'm not going to do kegals because I don't care for them. I like my sex the way it is.

Plus, you're pushing for a dick that isn't anything like what Ryan wants and it's something you've never tried.

Jeez dude no need to get an attitude, no one's trying to start an argument here o_0 Just trying to help eachother out in any way, right? It seemed relevant to me because I was looking at strapons but decided not to go for it because this seemed better to me personally, and I thought Ryan or anyone else looking at a strapon post may be interested in knowing about it. I've been told by someone who uses strapons that they're similar to the feeldoe, but better because it's less equipment to think about, so for someone looking for a strapon like Ryan, I figured this is relevant.
You said why you didn't like it and I said why I might. I'm not pushing anything, just suggesting, like everyone else.
And penetration can be related to dysphoria. I know a few trans guys who avoid it because it makes them more dysphoric, as they don't have the right genetalia. It was like that for me for a while, until I got over it and decided to enjoy my life with what I was given. That's what I thought you were referring to. Excuse me for being mistaken.

Quote from: Morgan on June 26, 2010, 04:36:47 PM

And penetration can be related to dysphoria. I know a few trans guys who avoid it because it makes them more dysphoric, as they don't have the right genetalia. It was like that for me for a while, until I got over it and decided to enjoy my life with what I was given.

yea thats how I see it.. may as well use what I have if it feels good

Quote from: Ryan on June 08, 2010, 06:02:21 PM
1. I'm a really skinny guy, do they make harnesses that would fit me without too much hassle? I'm a 28" in jeans.

I'm really skinny too and i tried a harness but it was annoying and more hassel than it was worth, I stick the base in my underwear and stick the dick through the fly of my boxer briefs so essentially the balls are still in my underwear and it works fine for me.

2. How much hassle is it to get on and off? I don't want the moment to pass while I'm getting it sorted.

That is the problem I run into. Its like "Ok are we sure we want to have sex? ok great I'll be right back" The only solution I have is to pack hard when you want to/ know you are going to be having sex.

3. I'm after something of a realistic size/shape/colour. Any recommendations?

I have the lonestar from toolshedtoys.com. Its made of vixskin and its pretty realistic feeling, only complaint I have is that the tip is a bit soft but I'd rather it be soft than have some crazy rod poke out and kill my girlfriend. Oh and also the base is a bit wide and hard so I've found that sometimes if I am not conscious of it it can hit the inside of my leg/outside of crotch area and be a bit painful

4. Guys on T: Do you have trouble with the base rubbing and irritating your own dick?

It rubs against my dick but honestly its not that bad, it actually helps me get to an orgasm sometimes without any other kind of stimulation.

5. I'm not the most coordinated person. How easy is it to control and use? I don't want to get the wrong hole, haha.

Its pretty easy with the way I have it in my underwear, much easier than the harness in my opinion.

6. Does the material matter? I'd be using it with condoms.

Mine (vixskin) works fine with condoms, I haven't had any problems with or without.

Thanks for that Carson, I'll look into it now.

As for the rest of you, calm down :P
I was sort of considering the feeldoe, but I don't think I'm comfortable enough with penetration to use it. Plus the obnoxious colours are a bit crap.

Another problem is that unfortunately,  buying a dick won't get me laid.

now that could be a whole new topic  :D Also if its any help i tend to use the doc johnson vac u loc series> it can actually be worn during the day if u adjust it right and depending what size "attatchments" you use and its really good for just being there when u need it

As a gal who has been on the recieving end of the equation regarding strap ons .....

I own both the feeldoe and doc johnson vac u lock. (well my spouse and I do)
Feeldoes suck. They just don't have enough give and they always have wierd colors for my taste in a sex toy. The angle is only good for misionary.
The Doc Johnson vac u loc is the way to go. You can have it under your pants without a cock on it and the nub that holds the dick in place makes it look like there is something in yer pants. You can have a large (lol) selection of toys for this harness.

One of the most important things when it comes to a strap on.....hips. Learn to use them, don't do push up ->-bleeped-<-ing. We laugh at guys who do that. 

I want to get my sweety the Share to try out, but finances.....

just saying....

**grins

got to ask tho i may regret it  ??? what is push up ->-bleeped-<-ing? only ever having been on the giving end i'd hate to think i was doing it wrong

When the man is almost stiff as a board and only humps in a fashion that is reminisant of pushups. Most of the body doesnt move and there is zero movement in the hips. These dudes tend to be very sexualy repressed.

Men who have more fluid hips and are not afraid to move their body tend to be more open with their sexuality.

So latin dancers must be the greatest?

I use the spare parts joque and i think its awesome. I also got the Tommy Blade Sensafirm cock from edens fantasys for 26.99. Me and my girlfriend love it. Once I adjusted the harness to my size I can get it on and off pretty quick. After I clean it I set it all up again so its ready to go for the next time.

It doesn't bother me with my T related dick growth. I usually pump before I put it on so that I get maximum pleasure out of it all. My girlfriend also suggested we get a cock ring which was a great idea.

But dont forget to wash a joque before you use it. I too have a "blue ball" stained cock from the harness. I really should have read the instructions.

Jarv

So latin dancers must be the greatest?

I've always thought - and had it proved in reality several times - that all you need to know about someone in bed you can find out by watching them dance.  And you're wrong about the Latin dancers, they are good.  Ballet dancers are beyond awesome.

Quote from: Ryan on June 08, 2010, 06:38:43 PM
Of course. I knew that 8)

Any suggestions for a realistic-ish and reasonably priced dildo?
That's another thing, is there some sort of universal dildo/strap compatibility?

The one I use is the "Adam's & Eve's: Adam's 8' Cock" (http://www.discreet-romance.com/8quot-pleasureskin-cock-natural-adult-sex-toys-22129.html). The hardness/strap that I use with it is the Latigo Leather Harness (http://www.discreet-romance.com/latigo-leather-harness-adult-sex-toys-22945.html).

My girlfriend really likes it though I think it's too big. It works pretty well together though. It definitely works I can tell you that (At least 8 hrs straight). 

The only downsides are...
-The cock is a bit big and it's not really built to be strapped on but it could work. It's also heavy.

-I highly suggest a different hardness. The leather harness I posted above eventually wear out. And the jockstraps can be a time waster unless you have everything prepared already and ready to go. If you're like me, you might fumble a bit. (Maybe the boyshorts harness would be better. Slip on, slip off).

-You will also need a bigger cock ring to use on your harness with the dildo I suggested since the one that comes with most harness is 2" when the cock is 6".

But like I said it gets the job done haha. Someday I hope to get one of the Duel Prosethics cocks (http://www.ftmprosthetics.com/about.htm) made by Joseph. Heard it works really well. Really life like too. But a lot of money.