Susan's Place Transgender Resources

This weekend I have to go out of town (about 3 hours away) for business (Friday and Saturday night).  I will have some time on my hands, so I was going to stop by a mall and pick up a few things.  My situation won't really allow for dresses, it has to be lingerie of some kind so it can remain hidden. 

When I come back, I was going to introduce the idea of my CDing in the bedroom to my wife for added fun.  I have a few really good ideas of how to bring it up in a way that it will reduce the shock and seem more "educational" for our bedroom time.

I have purchased lingerie before and though I do feel the stares of others I don't have much problem with it.  I have always done it on my own and without help from others in the situation.  So know that I have all of you to ask, I do have a few questions. 

One, when purchasing from a regular store in the mall are there certain types or styles of panties that work better than others?  What about bras?  If you don't have boobs, how do you create the look?

I also plan to go out while I'm there.  Again, lingerie underneath, but no outward clothes.  Any suggestions on things to buy that will be sexy for me but not too obvious under my clothes?

Brenda

QuoteOne, when purchasing from a regular store in the mall are there certain types or styles of panties that work better than others?  What about bras?  If you don't have boobs, how do you create the look?

Go to a Frediricks of Hollywood....they have cool sexy stuff and also foam breast for $15.

Good luck and have fun!
DebTV

Personally I hate Fredreick's there stuff is scatchy and doesn't hold up well. Victoria's Secret is much better and the ladies are very helpful. Also they are very pretty. >:D  Back in the days of still being a man I would tell them I was looking for something for my wife and that she was about my size. I think most times they knew the stuff was really for me but they seemed to get a kick out of fixing me up. One of them slipped and said "This color goes real good with your eyes" lol

I used to go to one store for myself and had another store I went to when I really was buying something for the wife. One suggestion for stuff you can wear underneath your clothes is garters and stockings. You really know they are there and no one can see them through a loose pair of nice dress slacks. As long as the slacks are long enough and the socks high enough no one will ever know. Just remember you wear the panties on top of the garter not underneath. You don't want to have to fiddle with undoing and dooing the garters & stockings everytime you need to sit down in the restroom.

Have fun on your trip,

Cassie

Several years ago,  my wife worked at VS as a second PT job for the discount mainly.  She mentioned the number of men that would come it and ask for help.  It happens so often that the girls don't really think much of it.  As you said Cassie, I think they get a kick out of it and kinda have some fun.  The problem I may have is that if I get back home and present the CDing idea to my wife and she says no, I may have to get rid of my new clothes.  I wouldn't want to spend VS kind of money just to toss them.  What about department store brands?  Not as good I know, but may work better for me at this point.  Anybody have good or bad luck with store brands?

I knew about the garters and stockings under clothes and to wear the panties on top.  I actually thought it was to get them off faster for another reason.  I really hadn't thought about bathroom time.  But that does bring me to another thought.  Did you all start sitting as soon as you started dressing?  Even if was just underneath the male clothes?

Once I came out to my wife, which in a way was also a declaration that I would no longer live as a man, I have never stood since. That was about three years ago.

Wal-MArt has a lot of good stuff. In fact I had looked in a lot of lingerie shops for a good waist cincher that was not a bustier and found the perfect one at Wal-Mart for $5.00. Rose's or Goody's are other good places if you have those stores in your area. Inexpensive and nice. I got a pair of really nice two inch pumps at Rose's for $4.00. Not so hard to take, expense wise, if you have to toss em out. although I wear a size 10 which can usually be found anywhere I did notice thay had upto size 12 in sizes that weren't ugly shoes.

Cassie

Wal-Mart?  Really?  I have seen their stuff, but didn't know it was worth a damn.  Maybe I'll try it.

QuoteOne suggestion for stuff you can wear underneath your clothes is garters and stockings

.

Would seem to me that the garter straps and such would show through when worn with pants whenever you bent over or otherwise put yourself in any position that would press the material of your clothing against your skin.  Don't know much about such things as I have never had any need or desire to wear such things, even when I was prone to wearing dresses and such.

When wearing heels, which I will still do at times, I wear knee highs to keep my feet from contact with the shoe lining, and underwear is simple cotton briefs such as Haynes Her Ways and other such panties.  The cotton breaths well and is extreamly comfortable as opposed to the rayon or silk type stuff, and much more practicle.  Things like Bra's are simple concessions to social attitudes about the appropriateness of such things in public, and resented....  But what would you expect from one to whom clothing has little importance other then basic social identification.    :eusa_wall: :icon_censored:

Terri

I would almost have to agree with the idea of the garters showing, but I think if I wear jeans then I won't be nearly as obvious.  When I dress I like the satin and silk feel with the wind blowing the sundress up ever so slightly.  Cotton briefs are admittedly much more practical, but since I don't dress that often I want sexy over practical.

Anyone else for satin or is it just little 'ole me?

Yes Brenda, Though I view such things differently, I do understand.  It is just the difference in daily life, and convienience and expense when there is only one life to cope with and not two.

Terri

QuoteIt is just the difference in daily life, and convienience and expense when there is only one life to cope with and not two.

Ditto on that. Back when it was a matter of just wearing something underneath that gave me a sense of being feminine, that stuff seemed a lot more important.  Now you couldn't give me a pair of garters. Although silk and satin are nice, 6 cotton panties for 10 bucks is a lot better than the same price for one satin.

My wife used to joke, you'll be a real woman when the first thing you do when you get home is shed all that crap. I have graduated, with honors. Even learned how to get my bra off without taking off my blouse. Real convienient when your headed home from work and you can't stand the d..m thing one more second. ;D

QuoteNow you couldn't give me a pair of garters

Never say never unless you truely understand yourself enough to really mean it Cassie,  I've learned that at times you have to eat your words and pretend it is palatible.

I once said to Kelly, a former moderator, I wouldn't touch such things as Underwire bra's with a pair of pliers.  After some experience with being pulled from HRT for an extended time period and the resulting tissue softning and urban sprawl of the real estate that occurred in my case, I did in fact invest in a couple of underwires for work in order to "restore" the former lift and support and now find it a little embarrassing when wearing T's or tanks without one, around people who have seen me with the added support, or especially if topless among friends, as I do not appear as "healthy" without the added support and it is obvious that I use "enhancement" at work or sometimes in public.  But I consistantly noctice the same difference in breast contour among most of the females at work, being beautifully rounded and firm at times and "average" at others.

There has been no real mass loss that I can see, they just seem to lack thrust and will easily flatten out and sprawl under the tighter material tops I am prone to and the underwire holds things more in proper form and looks more like they did before all this started.  A better solution would be to simply wear looser tops which would not have he same effect as the form fitting tops I have always been prone to.  Lately though, things are beginning to firm up somewhat and such things as underwires should not be an issue much longer.  I hope so, It makes me feel so "fake" when in such things.

In fact, I wore one to SF yesterday, as I knew it would be cooler there, and I had elected to wear a streatchy, bust conforming top with matching flat soled loafer type shoes worn sockless, and I for some reason wanted to "display" as proudly as possible, even though the bra itself is objectionable to me.  It's not honest though and for the life of me I don't know why it should bother me, but then I always did have a wide streak of vanity.  It  just doesn't show in terms of flashy highly feminine attire, makeup, and such.

Terri

Quote from: Terri-Gene on August 07, 2005, 04:29:54 PM
  I did in fact invest in a couple of underwires for work in order to "restore" the former lift and support and now find it a little embarrassing when wearing T's or tanks without one,

A back hook bra pulls to the back and diminishes everything.  Get a good front hook one.  That pulls everything to the front and adjust the straps so that there is more upward support.


sheesh-dam kids anyway

Actually Leigh, that was my first solution and I liked it for a number of reasons.  Then I bit my tounge and tried an underwire and found I liked the way it helped with the form itself, making things somewhat rounder, but I suspect I'll be going back to the front hooks soon enough as I find the underwire somewhat uncomfortable and is likely the reason I picked up the rash under my breasts I had complained about earlier.  My skin has been getting a lot more sensitive and I now look at things like stitching and such that I formally didn't pay attention to, Also the front hook is simply more comfortable on the back and as it isn't as tight on the skin in between, I hardly feel it, whereas a back hook seems to make itself known.

Just all those little things you have to learn while you go about growing up I guess.

Terri

Personally I'm a comfy cotton blend type of girl when it come to underwear.  Give me cool cotton, any day.  Since I'm only a A cup right now I don't need that much support (except from you folks of course)   :D so simple cotton underwire bras do the trick.  I found some that I really like and fit me to very well.  They are in Wallmart, cost $7.00 Cdn each and are brand named "Simply Basic".

Chat later

Steph

Hi Brenda:

I wear Haines Her Way or Fruit of the Loom Cotton panties, and find them very comfortable.
I,  as Stephanie, have bought most of my bra's from Wal-Mart.  I find them very comfortable and reasonably priced.
While I wear a B in a bra,  I too do not need a lot of support,other than from you Ladies. In other places I have found them difficult to find, but have had good success at Wal-Mart.

Good Luck

Denise

I gotta admit that I would not have picked any of you as Wal-Mart gals, but you'd know better than I.  I'll try to see what I can find at Wallyworld.

hey Steph, I have a couple of "Simply Basic" bras myself I bought last year when told I needed to start wearing them at work.  They work well enough but have a seam in the cup I find uncomfortable and the seam around the edges bothers me some.  Also they are in a 38" band which is a little tight for me.  I couldn't find a larger band in smaller cup sizes.

As for support, I wouldn't really need much in the way of that myself as realistically I'm not actually a full B cup yet, I don't crowd the top of the cups in a B and any seams or such in the  lining of the cups can really irritate me when wearing to tight a band.  Keep in mind when I say support in relation to myself, I'm talking more about firmness then bouncing happily around.  As it is, I have rather "sloshy" tities these days and it embarresses me.  Though at my age, it would be expected of a naturally born female in most cases, but I've yet to accept the age factor, though I'm gonna have to soon enough.

The underwire issue is to collect and squeeze the base forward so as not to allow it to simply squeeze out from under the edges of the cups of regular bras on the sides with the smaller bands and seems to put it all forward.  I guess I should lighten up on appearance issues as I am somewhat sensitive to breast issues myself.

The problems I currently have is I have a rather large base, but cone out, and toward the sides rather then forward, not being well rounded, and the underwire tends to hold and squeeze every thing forward, making them more rounded and mature appearing and provide firmness that prevents flattning when I wear the form fitting tops I love so much.  without a bra, they presently press down under the tops somewhat to much and it is much like the "binding" effect that FtM's use, though not nearly so sever.  If I were to simply wear looser tops, it probably wouldn't be such an issue, it is just that I have always dressed in a more "poured in" fashion, even as male, rather then looser styles which are actually quite popular these days.  Since I have mostly always maintained a very lean body, I can get away with such and actually lean women do very well as small breasted.  I really shouldn't make an issue of it with myself.  Just my juvenilish nature I suppose.

Part of my problem with seams is that it is so hard to find anything in less then a C cup with a 40" or better band size, so I normally have to settle for 38 B or A which can easily be found.  Extenders can be purchased to increase the band size, but the cups are closer together.  I am lean enough not to roll out around the band, but the tighter fit makes the band and any seams uncomfortable.  The Underwires I found were in a 40" band which is why I bought them and I enjoyed the more rounded look they gave me, but the underwire itself sometimes drives me nuts, especially in the heat.

I'm gonna have to just go back to front hooks as Leigh suggested, but I have never found these in larger band sizes then 38" for smaller then a C cup in the cheaper stores and I have never seen extenders for front hooks, though it seems they must exist, anyone know where?  A 38 B with an extender would be perfect if I can't locate more 40 B's without a lot of ground pounding for the price range i'm comfortable paying,  When I found the 40 B's I have it was the only ones they had, so I bought them both. anyone know where I can find extenders without making them myself for a front hook 38 band?

And Brenda, the only issue most of the girls here would have against Walmart would be political because of their discriminatory practice against women and transgenders.  Some boycott Wal Mart because of this, but I guess many do not.  Anyway, as I remember, nothing wrong with most of their clothing as they carry many good brand names.

Terri

What?

You remeber how it 'feels' to wear a bra?

Just how does it 'feel'? mmmmm for a Ts I quess it would feel like a burdon.....

Maybe for a a tv it feels sexy.....expressing the feelinjgs of boobs.....ya think?

Lets see....bras are 'a hassel'? or are they 'sexy'? or do they express boobies? or are they just boob recepticals?

LOL
Debtv

They are a fact of life.  No more and no less.

I had to laugh when I came back in to this thread and saw were it went. I believe it started out with a CD wanting some suggestions on were she  might get some nice sexy things to wear underneathe her clothes without spending a lot of money. Somehow we got off on comfort wear for TS's (Teri). lol

Anyway, Brenda, never mind us TS's going on about our underwear trials and tribulations. Just get yourself some fun stuff and have a good time this weekend.


Cassie

(= It depends on your point of view, and I imagine a fair bit on one's reference.

We need an option for "All the above."

QuoteSomehow we got off on comfort wear for TS's (Teri). lol

Sorry Cassie, Just trying to avoid any serious issues for a bit and just talking about clothing is about as non serious as I can get, though I guess I tend to turn even that into an issue on some ground or other.

Forgive me Please?  I just feel like chattering, but like I said, don't really want to get into issues that are to close to anything important right now, I'm not sure how I would react, so cloths and bras are the best place for me right now, I don't know enough about them to make anyone to mad and perhaps the CD's can give me some tips here and there on these issues as I'm pretty lame in this department.  Hell, look at what I call dressing up?

Terri

QuoteLets see....bras are 'a hassel'? or are they 'sexy'? or do they express boobies? or are they just boob recepticals?

Don't know about all that Deb, but on a cold High Sierra Night, they can double as earmuffs.

terri

Yes I was looking for a good place to get some relatively inexpensive lingerie, but by all means...chat away.  You ladies are pretty passionate about your bras.  This is an interesting side to see. 

Now we've beaten the bra to death, how bout panties?

Go ahead, shop wally world. Support gender discrimination (http://nsnlb.us.publicus.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050802/BUSINESS/108020011/-1/news)

Quote from: Leigh on August 08, 2005, 09:14:54 AM
Go ahead, shop wally world. Support gender discrimination (http://nsnlb.us.publicus.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050802/BUSINESS/108020011/-1/news)

Hello Leigh
I didn't know anything about that, I haven't heard anything about this in Canada.  I wonder if this applies here, or if it's just in the U.S.

Steph

I do not know for sure but I imagine it is corporate wide.

This is very similiar to why I spend my money with businesses that are GLBT owned.  If I do not support my own sooner or later they will be overwhelmed by corporations whose only concern is the bottom line.

I can walk into virtually any "family" business here and they know my name.  To a corp. I am only a number.

QuoteNow we've beaten the bra to death, how bout panties?

Wow! this is getting interesting, from Bear Traps to Fart Catchers ...... ya know? I could get into this type of stuff ....

Terri

Ya know at this point I could care less what I wear.  You've got me more interested in what Wallyworld is doing that is so wrong.  I know that they had issues with woman, but did not know there were isolated problems with transgender persons.  Do tell.

I do not know specifically if there are problems with peeps who identify as TG.  I do know that there are problems with women and that is my primary concern.

QuoteI do know that there are problems with women and that is my primary concern.

My feelings exactly, but if memory serves me, which often these days it don't so well, wasn't there that incident with the truck driving CD a couple years ago?  The lawsuit and all that which the CD eventually dropped?

Terri

Quote from: Terri-Gene on August 08, 2005, 03:00:09 AM
  Hell, look at what I call dressing up?

Terri

Hey Terri,

There's nothing wrong with that look. I actually thought it was very nice even before I read your comment. Maybe its not just us CD's who worry about having the look just right :).

To Brenda have fun sweetheart just  please be careful.

Shelley

Yes mam.

 



Truck driver (http://www.icemiller.com/publications/3/1072863.htm)
[edit](Kimberly)Fixied ye old URL[/edit]

QuoteThere's nothing wrong with that look. I actually thought it was very nice even before I read your comment. Maybe its not just us CD's who worry about having the look just right .

Thanks Shelly, and no, there isn't anything wrong with that look, but it is not a "look" it is *Me*,and it is the way I am the most comfortable in any situation or environment.  It's the way I have always dressed, over 4 decades, even as male, other then a short period of time when I messed with skirts and heels in a comformity stage which was actually fairly short lived as I just wasn't comfortable with it, and I see no reason to change my basic taste or conform to anothers concept of image.  What I do worry about sometimes is my own vanity streak and the way it relates to my self image on some issues, and yes, some could see some simularity to CD's in it, until you look closer.

My own "vanity" issues have to do about idientification for perm perpsoses and nothing to do with being seen as sexy.  In clothing, I have always disliked loose material because it snags and offers a hold, something to grab onto, thus form fitting, mind you, not actually tight or restricting, just close and never restricting.  Part of the truth is i have always been rather body proud and simply like to show it off. A bit of exibitionist I imagine, but there has never been an attempt at deliberate sex appeal.  I don't really like what that says, but is what it boils down to. 

The breast issue is one I need to do some thinking about.  before HRT I didn't really pay it much attention and I never used forms or such things, but lately, I seem to put to much stock in them as an external identification feature, and I know better, that is what makes it hard for me to understand.  Is something I need to work out as it means something in me has changed and I'm not sure what that something is. 

Whatever it is, it needs to be put in perspective as I would perceive it to indicate a creeping lack of self confidence, which is something I can't allow to take deeper root.  I am more then a sum of my body parts and the quicker I make it back to that totally concious realisation, the better off I will be. 

I see it as using them to "Prove" something and that kind of thinking is just all wrong, so my problem ..... If I realize this and can see it for what it is, why does it bother me and why is it so hard to correct?  If my breasts arn't perfect, then they arn't perfect, so what?  makes no sense to me, but a lot of things don't anymore as I am growing up all over again and do not have the more mature outlook that I once did.  In fact, the nuerologists tell me I can't always trust my own judgement for a while yet.  Perhaps that is at least partly behind the seeming loss of self confidence.  It is like being a child again and that in itself irritates me, I can't afford to be childish.

No Shelly, though it is simular to the CD situation, it is from a very different perspective with different goals in mind.

In time I will put it all back in perspective, blame it on hormones I guess in the meantime, but I know better then that.

Terri

thanks Leigh, Memory didn't serve me right, Winn-Dixie, not Wall Mart.  I get things mixed up ever since this "hole" in my head, but it appears it had nothing to do with Wall Mart and the issue with them is and remains a Womens issue.  Good, less confusing to the issue.

terri

Briefly (no pun intended):

Find a brand you like and a size that fits, and stick with it.  I actually discovered Bali Skimp Skamps after reading about them on epinions.com under the heading, 'Panties for Men?'  Tried 'em, love 'em, though I went through 3 sizes before finding the right ones.  They are my everyday undies, along with cotton Jockeys (I prefer hi-cuts).  For special occasions, I like Olgas, especially the satin styles with the backseam.  I've tried both cheeky boy shorts and thongs, but they just aren't designed for the 'support' we need...

VS stuff is beautiful, but seems to run small--certainly not designed for my frame.

Internet shopping and on-line auctions are not nearly as fun as going to the mall, and I was always rolling the dice with sizes, but there sure are a lot of bargains to be found out there!

Have fun!

-d