Susan's Place Transgender Resources

and what were their reactions?

Mine already know, even though I never told them. My dad seems ok with it, but my mom is pretending not to know. So I'm gonna wait a while to actually say it out loud.

I just told them. Was pretty blunt about it.

My dad didn't react well, my mom didn't know what to think. That was the extent of it, really.

Never told mine.

Well I did it the wrong way; I started dressing differently and they eventually questioned me.  They were more upset than they would have been if I had been straightforward with them.

I had to write it down to tell my mum, then she told my dad for me about a day or so later.
My mum's reaction was just asking me a lot of questions (she still does) and saying that she accepts me for whatever I want to be.
My dad isn't angry with me as such, but I know he doesn't like the idea of me presenting male. Still calls me by irritating girly nicknames, probably on purpose.

At some point, I was pretty depressed. I didn't know if my parents noticed, but they did almost certainly. I was dressing in a not-feminine manner but they never forced it out (well, maybe nearly once for unrelated behavior. She thought I was gay because I walked my SO home. Said I was playing the male role in the relationship, she used to see us a lot and I thought it was pretty funny.)

I just told them rather awkwardly in the middle of the night. Dad wasn't well versed in trans issues and mom tried to ignore her conservative upbringing. Now that they know more, they're totally supportive although I wouldn't bet on your parents being as nice about it as mine were. I seem to be a lucky exception.

Quote from: MatthewAlex on June 18, 2010, 12:50:29 AM
Well I did it the wrong way; I started dressing differently and they eventually questioned me.  They were more upset than they would have been if I had been straightforward with them.

similar story here. I told my step mom in a bawling fit after she berated me for not being female enough, for like the hundredth time. Now she just makes fun of me for it. I'm not sure if my dad knows via her or not, but he doesn't seem to. i don't plan to tell him or my extended family until I start therapy, for some reason I see that as potential to make it easier.

My mom basically said she couldn't care less what or who I was, as long as I was me. it was surprising how lovingly and accepting she took it, though I imagine she's a smidgen disappointed to lose her 'daughter'

I wrote something to my mum as well, cause I have a really hard time saying how I feel out loud :P She did tell my dad for me, but about a week later. I told them 3 or 4 months back now and we have only ever talked about the issue twice  :-\ They take me to a psychologist and dont mention a thing after that. I reckon my mum feels that if she ignores it, thatll the problem will go away. I told her that "I dont want to be called she" but all my mum comes back with is saying "she is better than it"  :( I remember one night, a year or so before I came out, we were watching this show on tv about this transgender kid. And I asked my mum what she would do if one of us (me and my siblings) felt like that. She was all like "oh I would still love you and be supportive, and let you be how you felt". So much for that idea grr  >:(

Harlee, our parents are almost exactly the same. I was too worried to actually say what I felt to both of them, and they have never sat me down and talked to me about this together, once. My mum often asks me "do you still feel how you felt?" as if I'm one day just going to say "no". My dad doesn't talk to me about it, and I'm still referred to as "she" by everyone (only my parents and my older sister know) even though my mum would probably make the effort to call me "he" if I asked her. We have people around here a lot and I don't really feel like telling the rest of my family yet because I'm not overly close to them. I think the issue of "If we don't talk about it, it will go away" stands mostly with my dad though.

I wrote a letter to my mom at first and then she told my dad at a later date (I asked her too because I didn't wan to tell my dad :/)

Mom at first was like wow how did we miss it.  She then moved onto blaming herself.  Then we moved onto an awkward stage of not talking about it.  Then she went into the you need help stage.  Then the totally cool it's fine stage to finish it off.

I just told my mother...she said 'I kinda knew already'...she then told my dad who thinks it's a phase...I was 36 or so at the time..Eyup! A phase that's lasted 36 years! But my mother kind of knew since I was a kid...I've since been removed of my parents life though...

Im not out to them yet and i have no idea howd they react. Ive known i wanted to be a boy as far back as I can remember and I remember it always making my mom really upset. Now a days I still dress like a boy and act how I always have but my mom tries to get me to dress more femminine and i get so mad at her. I want to come out to them so bad but I'm horrified of the reaction.

I don't talk to my parents, so they don't know about me.

I am dreading telling mine I know at some point they will have to know but they are rather old fashioned and I don't think they would take it so well.

Well, I was crying a ton (I was upset about something stupid, but I was so stressed and depressed I started crying), and my parents (dad & step-mom) kept asking me what was wrong, until I finally blurted out "Because I hate being a girl!" I wasn't looking at them, but I could just feel the change in the air.

I'm still not sure how they feel about it exactly. My dad told my mom for me, but I don't really have the ability to talk to them face-to-face about it. So, there's this awkward tension about dressing for formal events and other things like that. But they're generally accepting as far as I can tell.

When I told my mom, she basically guessed.

Mom: You look so different since getting your hair cut
Me: I feel really different, I actually feel more like "me" than I ever have in my life
Mom: Yeah, you seem really different, not just "look" different, I don't know what it is
Me: Well, you know how I've always kinda been "one of the guys"...
Mom: Oh, are you going to become a man? You know, Chastity - or I guess Chaz - Bono did that!

She was really supportive and asked a lot of questions and basically said that she'd love me no matter what. A few months into it though, she got a little down, was grieving a bit, and was having a hard time talking to me about it because she didn't want me to think that she was against it or didn't love me unconditionally. Once we talked about it and we both really expressed how we felt about everything, it got way better after that. And now she's my biggest support through all this.

When we went home to visit relatives (in another province), I didn't want to tell everyone the second I walked in the door and make it be a "big deal" or some sort of formal announcement. The 24 hours that I tried to hide it while everyone saw me as a girl and unintentionally said and did very feminizing/emasculating things, was very hard for me. My mom and I talked about it and she offered to take my relatives aside one at a time and tell them discretely so that it wasn't a "big deal" and that I didn't have to face it all myself. I wanted to still take responsibility for my own coming out, but I accepted her help because I was just so (socially) dysphoric at that time that I couldn't face telling these people who know and love me and risking their reactions making me feel even worse. A few days later, everyone knew and I was able to feel like myself again. All thanks to my mom being such an awesome and supportive person. She is seriously the best mom ever. :)

With my dad (who I have only been back in touch with these past few years, we're not super close, but he's a nice guy who sincerely cares about me), he sent me a text message saying "So, I hear you're going to be a boy now?" And I was like "Um, yes, where did you hear from?" Apparently his mom saw something on Facebook (I guess I hadn't locked down my privacy settings as much as I'd thought by then) and told him about it. Anyhow I was driving at the time, so I told him "the basics of it is yes, I'm trans. we can talk on the phone later and I'll explain more". When we did get the chance to have a phone call, he was totally cool with it, and just wanted to know how I felt and hear about my journey in learning about this aspect of myself.

Nowadays, he's very used to it, calls me "son" and "my boy" and such. We're still not super close, but I feel like he accepts me for me, and that's nice.

Wow James! *Envies* If only we all had such a supportive family! I always wonder what it is about certain people that butt heads with it so much compared to stories like this...

I have a lesbian mom so I was pretty sure she would take it well enough. I wrote her a long heartfelt email.
She took it even better than I expected and started trying to teach me about trans issues! (turns out one of her girlfriends was MTF, she still won't say who)

I started binding.
My mom eventually asked where my chest went.
I said Mom, I'm not a ____.  I'm a boy
Mom:"You're a freak. You're doing this to me and yourself. You're making life harder"
I yelled and spazzed everytime she used my legal name. I'd say it wasn't me.
I didn't care, kept transitioning. I ordered a binder once when i was 16 and it was never delivered so I thought. I found it under the couch cushion a few months later and told her never to take my stuff again.
She still assumes it's a phase, still thinks I'm a freak.
She refrains from calling me any name or using any pronouns now, other than referring to me as her "kid" and "they". Fine with me. Nothing is better than she.
But we've never had a good relationship. She's abusive and stuff. You should be able to talk to your mom, sit down with her and explain.
My mom's just nuts, literally. So I don't bother to explain anything. I've tried. I don't know if it sunk in and really don't care. I moved out the day I turned 18.

I haven't told my parents and I don't know how I'm going to tell them, I was hoping to find a way through the thread (:P).   I'm going to probably wait until I'm on my own two feet though and can support myself, just in case it all goes sour.  Plus I'd like to do it in person, which isn't possible because we're separated by an ocean right now.  I think they might be OK with it, though they'd have a hard time believing because they'd think of the stereotypical FTM and I'm nowhere close to that (no one could ever pick out of a crowd and say I'm FTM because of job-related issues and various things of the like).  My goal is to have several articles on transgendered related things to help them understand.

I wrote my mum a letter and left it for her to find.
Her response was fantastic:

Ryan,
Thankyou for your honesty, and no I'm not completely shocked because I have guessed, well, felt your struggle over the past year or two, and I have worried that you haven't been able to confide in me until now.
I love you completely and un-reservedly for the person that you are, and not whether you fit in socially as male or female. You are such a wonderful character with a fantastic sense of humour and you have always made me very proud.
I think that you should choose your own middle name - something that you have always wanted as your name? I'm honoured that you have chosen Ryan (yes, I would have called you that if you had been born a boy). I'm so pleased that you are starting to feel happier with yourself. I have only ever wanted you to be happy.
Forgive me if it takes me a while to get used to your new name - you know I'm bound to forget!!! LOL!
I LOVE YOU TOO (always)
Mum xxx

I just told my mum outright.. it was a few months after my gran had passed away and we were spending more time together talking about life and things.

I simply said that i felt like i'd been born in the wrong body and that i didn't think i could go on living as a girl. She was completely fine with it and said looking back on things, it seemed so obvious. She came with me to the Doctors surgery so i could be referred to a gender psychologist and the rest is history.

Shes been with me every step of the way. My first T shot, paying for my chest surgery, right through to supporting me through phallo surgery.

I'm a very lucky guy.

I came out to my mom by writing her a letter and including a couple helpful articles. She initially responded by writing me a letter that basically said, "I accept you but I don't agree with you. I have no intentions of ever calling you by your preferred pronoun, but if you want new clothes I can buy you some, etc. etc." Chock full of mixed messages, but not too bad in the grand scheme of things.

That was oh... 4 months ago? She's gotten less accepting as time goes on, it seems. Her stances on the situation have encompassed everything from, "You're mentally ill and will never be successful in life" to "It's just a phase that you picked up from your crazy internet friends."

On the bright side, she's paying for my name change (which has nothing to do with my gender, but she thinks it does) and therapy (though she's still under the impression that that is "career counseling").


...I'm not out to my dad, yet. I'm still just a lesbian who likes androgynous clothing styles, to him. I almost just wish i could keep it that way, really, to avoid conflict-- but I plan to transition, and it's kind of hard to explain that as just being a masculine lesbian. XD So I'll have to tell him sometime.

Quote from: Bones on June 18, 2010, 02:34:38 PM
Wow James! *Envies* If only we all had such a supportive family! I always wonder what it is about certain people that butt heads with it so much compared to stories like this...

I am incredibly lucky in the family and friends department, and I absolutely appreciate their support so much. I joke with those I'm closest to that the Universe *had* to give me supportive family and friends to make up for how awful my kids' dad and his fiancee are with all this (and just in general). Karmically it all balances out in the end... lol  ::)

James, you're one lucky guy!  :)

I haven't told my parents or my older brother and I don't know how to tell them.  :-\
They know that something is wrong with me, because I said that I have a problem. That was almost 2 years ago. I have left college that day, we were arguing and I told them that I have a huge problem. They wanted to know and they said "we are your parents, we can help you" but Ijust said "No one can help me".
I wanted to tell them, I was just scared too much, I guess...
And now I just don't know how to tell them. We live in a small town and I'm also worried about other peoples reactions.

I haven't told em yet, but it's going to happen soon.  They're in Europe for the next 5 weeks, so I'm going to tell them after they get back.  They are on to me already though.  My dad asked me where my chest had gone and whether I had had surgery (!) I was like, how would I get the money for surgery and then hide it from everyone while recovering! what the...

And my dad has been calling me Boy George and when I got my major short haircut he said I looked like a little boy.

My parents are very old, late 60s early 70s but I think as far as parents go they are aware of trans stuff.  They had a mtf friend before I was born who ended up committing suicide, sadly.  Also my mum knows a friend of mine who transitioned in 2003ish, we were all working in the same place.  She was very good with his pronouns.  I hope she can extend that good attitude to her "daughter".   It's hard because I know she really wanted a daughter and actually didn't think she could accept a son.  She was quite an intense second wave feminist. She wanted us to have some touchy feely mother daughter relationship that never happened and we had some issues.  I love her now though, I love them both so much and I really hope they accept me.

And I'm an only child.  Ack.

I wrote them a letter because i knew i wouldn't be able to just tell them face to face. That same night mom read it, she came in to talk about it. Then she told dad (did NOT let him read the letter), and then we all discussed it. End result: I went to therapy for a few months, they went a grand total of four times. Plus one time we all went together.

Now my parents are totally ignoring the issue AGAIN (when they aren't saying something along the lines of "we're at that age, we're going to retire honey - we have a house, paid off and everything, with a nice yard and a pool... then you drop this bombshell on us!"), my dad thinks it's a phase and my mom's just...

Even my therapist is a bit miffed at them and their not-want-to-hear-about-it attitude. Her exact words where "well when you think about other things going on, like the war and natural disasters... this is such a little thing, they shouldn't be this negative about it though a bit of anger and grief is understandable. It isn't like you're getting drunk, doing drugs, getting pregnant, burning down the place, etc". Which made me laugh.

Yeah, they aren't taking it well. Don't think they'll be changing anytime soon. Things are stressful. But i know not all parents react like mine did and i hold out a little bit of hope that in the future they'll come to terms with it.

i wrote a letter to my mom, and than i went out shaved my head and crashed at my cousins, ignored their phone calls and everything, they finally showed up at my cousins and dragged me home told me i was born a girl and that was that burned my binders and told me to grow up. and thats basically where i am right now

Wrote to them. Dad never said anything about it. Mom wrote back and said I was old enough to make up my own mind.
She addresses letters to me as first initial + last name now instead of using the old name, which says she's trying.
In conversation she still refers to me as old name, daughter, etc. She's in her 70's. She may never get it down perfectly.
I don't need to get bent about that with her at this time.

My girlfriend brought it up around my mom, after I begged her to help me come out. My mom, as she usually does, accepted it totally. She's just having a hard time adjusting to pronouns and whatnot.

My dad, I haven't came out to yet. We've always had a bit of a shaky relationship, and I'm terrified to jeopardize what little we've got. However, due to recent events, I think I might finally tell him soon. Nobody lives forever, all that. I don't want one of us to die with that still being unsaid.

Told my mum face to face and then wrote a letter to my dad. They didn't understand then and they still don't know. It was brushed under the carpet. That was 7 years ago and our relationship never recovered.

i might try to explain things about me to my step-father. he's the only sensible parent i have, which is why i hesitate telling him. would hurt so much if he didn't accept this side of me

my dad is someone i only have contact with because he's my daughter's grandpa. my mom is hopeless. she has her own ideas and won't see farther than that no matter what. i haven't ever been able to talk to her about anything as far as i can remember. so i don't see much point in coming out to them, either they ask and get an honest answer or they can pretend there is no problem. wouldn't make our relationship any better or worse

Hey! N.Chaos, in that new user pic you look like me in high school! I'd shave my head like that and angle it down. I've had it black & blue like that too.  ;D

But as for my parents/family. They live in their own warped little world, nothing can bring them out of that. My mom sounds like Zombies's mom. She's harped on me a lot about how being different just makes life harder. Well, yeah, it does, but that's no reason to deny your true self and live a lie. ???? I'll never get their warped little way of thinking and they'll never get my expansive out-of-the-box way of thinking. I'm always going to be a girl, and an immature helpless one at that, in their eyes. I just hope I can eventually get out of here, move out west and live my own life.

Hey guys,

I think it's absolutely lovely that there are supportive families and friends out there - it's reassuring that not all reactions are going to be as bad as we all think they'd be.

I haven't told any of my family yet. I'm scared to tell my mum as we are very close but a huge part of me reminds her of my dad, who passed away when I was a kid, I wouldn't want to remind her even more of him, I'd feel so terrible. I came out to everyone about being a lesbian 4/5 years ago (expect for my sister as she is very close minded, but we are very close, I'd rather keep our relationship rather than ruin it) and everyone was fine with that, especially my mum, she accepted it, adjusted and said "I knew already" lol. I think telling her about the fact that I'm transgender will be okay, she's always said "You should have been born a boy" as I grew up - I was like a little boy anyway, refusing to wear girls clothes, playing with guns and action toys, etc etc plus she showered me with compliments the last time she saw me, which was awesome cause I was wearing guys clothes and I felt on top of the moon, haha. So I think it'd take her time and that she'd be okay, it's just, our imaginations seem to run with 'omg, it's going to be so bad' type thing...

To be honest - as long as my mum accepts me I don't really mind about anyone else. I might do what a couple of you have done and write her a really honest letter or something.

Quote from: Ryan on June 18, 2010, 03:31:56 PM
I wrote my mum a letter and left it for her to find.
Her response was fantastic:

Ryan,
Thankyou for your honesty, and no I'm not completely shocked because I have guessed, well, felt your struggle over the past year or two, and I have worried that you haven't been able to confide in me until now.
I love you completely and un-reservedly for the person that you are, and not whether you fit in socially as male or female. You are such a wonderful character with a fantastic sense of humour and you have always made me very proud.
I think that you should choose your own middle name - something that you have always wanted as your name? I'm honoured that you have chosen Ryan (yes, I would have called you that if you had been born a boy). I'm so pleased that you are starting to feel happier with yourself. I have only ever wanted you to be happy.
Forgive me if it takes me a while to get used to your new name - you know I'm bound to forget!!! LOL!
I LOVE YOU TOO (always)
Mum xxx

My mum was like that too, but i emailed her as i couldnt face telling her face to face as we dont have much of a close bond, she told me that she was please that i was finally was able to tell her and knew about this when i was a kid :L. so i kinda wished i was out or she told me about it when i was younger then.
so yeah she be on my side and will support me i was shocked to hear that though, thought maybe she dont want to see me again ever! I have told one of my older sisters like many years back when i was young and i told her not to tell anyone and she hasnt.

I've only told my mom, and I'm still a bit confused about everything.

I asked her if she would still accept me if I was gay, etc, but that I wasn't, and she said yes, and then I told her, well more like I explained. In spanish... which made it harder. But she did understand. For a bit she didn't react well to it, claiming to understand and still love me, but I confronted her, and she stopped. Sometimes I feel like she thinks it's a phase. I told her I'd wait till I was out of college for surgery and hormones, but I'm starting to want them and identify as male more. I don't know how she'd take it.

Plus I'm going back to my home country for an education and gender stereotypes are insane there. I'm going to have a hard time. If family questions how I look, I'll tell them, and if they react well I might start transitioning, but it would be more dangerous than living as a tomboy, plus I have severe needle phobia so... it might be better to wait till I move to Europe. For now binding is helping, and I don't have bottom dysphoria, I don't really care what's down there.

In the end I did sort of end up being gay (I don't label my sexuality though), I mostly like male gendered, androgynous, or male gender leaning people, but I don't think my mom connected the dots yet. Instead I think me liking guys all my life has put her at ease. She said she always noticed something off about me,... like she had suspected something (probably that I was a lesbian) but me dating guys had put her at ease about it, and made her stop questioning the way I dressed. But still sometimes, even now, she thinks it's a phase because I tried really hard for two years to be female (during middle school). This period also confused me, but I always ended up feeling like a male forced into drag during that time, I just ignored it, and now I know it was my way of trying to fit in. I gave up on fitting in some years ago and I'm quite happier now. Hopefully once I get my binder (I have a homemade one for now) it'll start sinking in for my mom that it isn't a phase, that she's going to have to really accept it.

I'm taking things as they come and trying to be as comfortable as possible.

On my dad, he's stressed at work, and will probably react badly. One day he'll be all for gays, and the next he thinks they don't deserve anything and are crazy. I told my mom she could tell him if he started acting good, but that's probably not gonna happen. I would feel more comfortable having everyone know, since I could speak in Spanish with male adjectives, etc, but he especially would tease me like crazy, he does it even know, hating that I don't grow out my hair and dye it blonde, and that I disapprove of marriage and kids among other things. It's kind of nice to know my aversion to pregnancy wasn't insane. Still don't like kids, but I might adopt. Of course, my dad is disappointed still.

...That ended up being kind of long.

My mom and I tried to have a talk tonight and it ended with if you want to be a man pack and leave now I had a daughter. So just leave we don't want you.

So it looks like I am basically homeless woohoo

I'm 99.99% sure my parents know. My mother confronted me when I first cut my hair and started binding and asked me if I was trans. I told her no - because at that point I was still figuring myself out and that was the honest answer. She also told me the thought I might be going through a phase and that she was worried since I am so involved in LGBTQ activism I was just sympathizing with the trans community. So I've pretty much refused to talk to her about it since then.

My mother has been looking up transmen - she read Chaz Bono's book and watched the documentary the day it premiered on TV. She also came to my college when I organized Ryan Sallans to come onto campus and talk about his transition. She asked a lot of the "What did your parents do?"/"How did your parents deal with it?" type questions. And has been trying to get me to talk to her about it.

I plan on starting therapy in September, so I definitely need to. It's just such a pain!!

Actually my mum confronted me when I was 19 about my crossdressing. She was aware I had been doing it since I was about 11 years old. But I had just got home after a busy day at work and told her I would explain everything when I was done with a bath. My mind and heart were racing. I was worried I would get kicked out or something worse. So after soaking in the tub for a least 45 mins, I brought my lPtop down and pulled up magical info about transsexuality and let her read. It seemed like forever. Then she said "so? You can't help it. It's who you are".
I don't think I could have loved my mum more than at that point.

Now my dad, I had to come out to him by email. When he visited me 5 years ago, he kept asking me if there was something I wanted to tell him. I wasn't ready to, so I simply said " if you can wait a little while longer, there is something I do need to tell you."
So, months later, my dad got remarried. And it was then that I came out to him. He said he cried after he read it. He felt sorry for being unapproachable, and that I had been afraid to tell him when I could have gotten the help I needed a long time ago. But he loved me.
Again, I never loved my dad more than when he said that.

Both parents are my biggest supporters. And I can never thank them enough for that.

I was having a terrible back ache and I was half drunk when I came out to my mom. Her reaction was okay. I don't remember most of it but she did say she worried about me, my future, and she also said she wanted me to be happy. At one point she said she can have a boy sometimes and a girl at other times and I told her no. I am not a doll It is not your choice. I don't remember her reaction to that.

I told my dad and he was cool with it. He asked a lot of questions. He keeps calling me my birth name and she. Its getting really annoying and IDK what to do about it cuz he is quite akward. I need him to know but not tell the whole universe.

I wrote a letter to my mom. Shes the kind of person, where if you say something she doesnt want to hear, she just wont hear it. To the point of denying the conversation ever happened. So i needed physical proof haha. Shes accepting, but I can tell it bothers her. Shes always made a point of saying how she'll love me no matter what, so I think shes tring to hide how much it bothers her because she wants so badly to support me.
When it comes to my dad, its the opposite. Hes one of those "fit in my box, play by my rules" type of people. He still hasnt learned that wont work for me. I came out to him real recently, by force, while sitting at his dinner table. My kid called me papa, and being 2, its not like I could tell him not to call me that at gpas house. So my very in-denial dad, asked "papa,.. Is that another language for mama?" and when I spit it out (nervously and with a mouthful) his exact reaction was "well spaghetti is not the right meal for this."
I got a real reaction from him the next day over the phone, where he talked me down, and insisted I'm screwing up my and my son's lives. Since then we dont talk about it and he still calls me female pronouns. I'm ignoring it. He's the one that will look rediculous calling me "she" when I've got sideburns and a goatee. Lol

My mom found out by reading my journal. On the first few pages, I had some passing tips scrawled down and was venting some dysphoria. I was walking into the living room and she asked "how long I'd been packing". Which was a weird and uncomfortable situation, considering I didn't pack yet and she didn't believe me.

I've written her countless letters, shown her this site, shown her articles -- but it only seems to make it worse, as she thinks I'm "getting ideas" from them. She's okay about it -- she paid for the shipping fee on my binder, allows me to dress masculinely, let me get my hair cut -- although each time she'll say it's already short when it's considered long for a guy. I've tried talking to her face-to-face about it, but it always ends in tears or she'll pull the silent treatment on me in the middle of the discussion. She refuses to use "he" and "Christopher" (my first name), but she's getting better. She has me listed on facebook as her son and I've seen her refer to me as Chris. My dad told me not to spring things on her, and to give her time to deal with it -- but with my mom, if you're wanting to give her time to deal with something, then you're basically going to live a life of silence.

My dad just kind of figured out. I have no idea how. Once he asked me whether I liked guys or girls, and I kind of fumbled and said I didn't really care for dating. He just laughed and said it was good I was focusing on more important things, but he seemed to know better. He's hinted that he knows, and he's seen my facebook; he says he's taking it one day at a time. He stills calls me a girl and such.

For amusement: My grandfather's wife says I have a "negative attitude" and tells me binding will make the fat from my chest go to my hips. (This is the same woman who told me swallowing gum would make it stick to my lungs.) She also tells me not shaving my armpits and legs will make me unattractive to men. You know, because she speaks for all men. she. XD

I told my mother this January "Mom, remember what I was like as a real small kid of 2-3? And always playing with boys and boy toys and peeing standing up and not wearing girl clothes?! And how I shut down after the age of 10, not even going out to play anymore? Do you remember that coincided with me getting my first period?!" She took it pretty well, did not have a stroke as she did the time I came out as a lesbian all those 14-15 years ago. 

I came out to my mom in January. She told me that she raised me and that she would love me no matter what. But she doesn't like to talk about it, because it makes her really uncomfortable. Although, she did make a point in telling me how all those pregnancy quirks said she was having a boy. I asked her if there were signs when I was little, because I remember asking when seeing her boyfriend in the shower, "why I didn't have one of those," and she said no.

I figured my mom was okay with it, but my Godmother who I came out to first later told me that my mom is having a hard time accepting my transition because she raised a "daughter" for 22yrs, and she told my Godmother that she'll believe it when I start T. It's kind of a let down and talking to my mom anymore is even more tension filled than it was before. Her and I have never really been too close, and my mom is one of those types that's always been more concerned w herself rather than those around her.

My Godmother, whom I consider my real mom, has accepted me and is very supportive, and has told me that she's always known, that there were tells. She recently told me that it's hard for her at times because she's always had a "daughter" but a son is good too. :) She said she can't wait for me to visit so she can buy me clothes. She told me it's not accepting me that is hard it's the distance between us bc she lives half the U.S. away and that if I was there that she would be able to see my transition rather than hear about it.

I haven't told my step-mom, dad, or brother. My step-mom and I have a non-existent relationship (we tolerate each other) and I don't speak to my dad. Me and my bro used to be tight, and I'm dreading telling him even though he'll probably react about like my friends and tell me that he knew before I did...I hope, anyways.

I have to say that I kinda have my own army of "moms" bc my grandmother considers herself my pseudo mom and treats me as such and I fear telling her. I tried coming out to her once, asking her what her thoughts were about gay marriage, etc., she reacted poorly and said that anyone like that was going to hell, and now she thinks I'm a lesbian (I like guys, so I'm still in the same boat either way) and our relationship is strained now. So, I don't even know how to come out to her, she's so conservative and doesn't like anything that isn't quid pro quo.

Quote from: Knarx on July 01, 2011, 12:31:19 AM

...she's so conservative and doesn't like anything that isn't quid pro quo.

I am happy that your godmother is accepting. That's really nice to hear.

BTW, the Latin you mean is "status quo".

Quote from: niamh on July 01, 2011, 08:53:07 AM
BTW, the Latin you mean is "status quo".

That's what I meant to put, thanks for noticing the typo

Quote from: MalcolmAlex on June 18, 2010, 12:50:29 AM
Well I did it the wrong way; I started dressing differently and they eventually questioned me.  They were more upset than they would have been if I had been straightforward with them.

What do you mean the wrong way? Dx
I still haven't come out yet..but I'm sure my guardian knows a bit and does question..sometimes. Though I dressed like a boy since elementary school.

My parents don't know about me. But a lot of people write a letter. You can send it, bring it in person, have the other person read it, read it out loud yourself...pick your poison.